AN: I am 14 and I go to high school and english is my favourite subject and I DO have a gimpy leg but that's okay cause you can't see it. ANYWAY HERE is DA STORRRYYYYYy yyhh

Peg forcibly removed her hand from Pikachu's jiggAMbob (Pikachu's cunt, lawl).

Pikachu: Pika-piii!

Peg: Okay now it's time to begin our Pokemon journey! But I need to haves Mocha first. Mother only gave me five pokedollars so I can only buy one. For food, I shall take a handful of someone else's nutrigrain. My leg hurts.

Pikachu: PIKA!

Then Peg caught a Jynx and forced the jiggAMbob to clean her temple (AKA: cunt fkn lawl!).

Mother: Kelly/Peg! Every boy leaves home one day it said so on the TV so FUCK OFFFFFFF!

Then she ACTUALLY began her journey.

Peg: 'Ahhh Route 1 and a mocha what more could I want?' she said to herself as she walked to her and then she did that.

Nigger: WElcome 2 da pokemart! Can u give dis to Professor Fern? It's a fern tree, get it? It's a pun cause her name is Fern. Some people call her the Pokemon Prof! And she calls them all cunts cause she can't remember anyone's names especially her grandson Gayr.

Peg: One mocha, please! I could really use the caffeine. I have to go to a three hour tutorial. Then she went to the library for about four hours and then to another tutorial and went home to watch Stargate Atlantis.

'Peg! What the actual FUCK are you doing home?' Peg's mother whispered. 'I thort you were going on a pokemans adventure like in that video computer playstation you are always playing. Now help me send a textual message to your father. Or will he get reception underground? Remember: he's dead and we buried him last week. You really upset him by being born with that gimpy leg. Ah poor gentleman. How. Soon. Was. He. STIFLED! Isn't it weird that we only buried him last week but he's been dead for your age minus one day? That's an easy way to remember when he died. It'll also remind you that it's all your fault.' She had whispered that whole sentence so Peg didn't even hear but Geodude did.

The Geodude suddenly evolved into Golem because Peg hacked reality because she had no friends to trade with. It's funny that she didn't fix up her fucking leg at the same time. I guess she doesn't really think there's anything wrong with it. But why does she always bring it up? '"I guess I like the attention" she thought to herself,' Peg said because she does this annoying thing where she talks about herself in third person. Anyway bak 2 da story.

'HAI PROFESSOR FERN! Here's your Fern tree' is what she would say to Professor Fern when she would get to Periodreddriedtobrown City. Unfortunately for Peg her peg leg was giving her grief and she would not arrive for days. In the meantime she could catch some more POKEMANSSS.

A wild jiggAMbob appeared. It is already paralysed. Peg used PRLZ heal. On herself. It was supereffective. She had to do this often kind of like insulin for diabetics. In fact, she probably was going to get type II one of these days because she drank soooo much fkn mocha. jiggAMbob used Hyper Beam but it missed (don't you just hate when that happens?) and had to recharge. During that brief reprieve Kelly booted up her portable DVD player and began to watch Stargate Atlantic City.

Suddenly a wild Team Rocket appeared jumping down gracefully from the back of its Kakuna and Metapod combined who had just flown the Team Rocket from Atlantis. They were unappreciative of the ridiculous show PEg was watching so they got out a lead pipe and began to beat her. All of this happened on her wooden Peg leg so she accidentally didn't feel anything. Unfortunately the leg became very unstable. Team Rocket assumed they had killed her because she had fallen asleep from drinking too much Mocha (ie: caffeine overdose). Before the wild Team Rocket it grated some cheese on her leg to make a dairy free cheese fondue something etc.

Peg woke up with come on her face. While she had been asleep a masked figure had crept up to her and poured a vial of semen on her face. The label on the vial had said "Daddy's sperm 04/12'. The mask slipped and it turns out it was Peg's mother. 'That's for being "Born Dis Way"!' she typed on her phone and then messaged it to her post-widow-lesbian-phase girlfriend. ie: Peg, her daughter. Fortunately, Peg always slept standing up. There was a locking mechanism on her pegleg kind of like a horse and the come slid down into her welcoming vagina. It fertilised the egg and she was now pregnant. Therefore, she became known as Preg.

To satisfy her pregnant cravings for Stargate and Mocha ('wait a sec, doesn't she always like that stuff?' Preg the narrator thought to herself) she had a masty. The baby felt the unwelcome intruder to the vagina and attacked the hand. It dissolved and she bought a hook to replace it from her friend Dawn who previously wore it as a prosthetic nose but was done with it now because she was no longer a 'professional can opener' anymore.

Meanwhile, Preg's reanimated father who was now blind walked into a magikarp's cunt and said 'Helllooooo ladies!'. Meanwhile back at the ranch Preg woke up and continued Feminism, the neverending journey. She hopped on her Pokemon egg thinking it was her Pidgeot and broke it. A half formed Ditto emerged from the egg and cried: 'DIT!' and tried to morph into a woman. It ended up only being able to form half of the body well so the end result was this mis-shapen peg-legged lump. Story of Peg's LIFE.

Suddenly Preg gave birth to a deformed mis-shapen lump baby. Because her dad was a vampire, Peg's child was like Renesfag from Twilight and grew up really fast. The trio comprised of ex-Preg, Ditto, and Peg 2.0 (the babby) all made their way to Periodreddriedandbrown Town. But first they went Downtown. On each other. When they fell asleep after their orgy, another trainer came up and played the Pokeflute to wake the seemingly sleeping Snorlax up. Funnily enough Preg DID wake up and ran as fast as she could to Periodred Town with the fern for Fern. It took her 2 years.

In that time a lot had changed in the world. Her dad was still roaming the world and her mother was still sending her dirty texts and though Bugcatcher Wade had defeated the Elite 4 several times, they still spouted the same dialogue EVERY FUCKING TIME. If he defeated them one thousand more times he would get access to a rocket launcher which could destroy walls and thne he could catch as many Celebiis as he wanted.

'"Oh Professor! I finally made it to Periodred Town!". Yes. That would be the perfect thing to say to the Professor when I go to her lab and give her this fern tree' she thought to herself whilst sipping a Mocha and watching Stargate Atlanis' said Peg. Peg could see the lab in the distance. Unfortunately for our hero, there was a Snorlax blocking the way. She threw her new Javelin-leg at it and it shattered. It turns out it was just a GIANT MIRROR. In truth, the lab was BEHIND HER, back she'd come from. It was then that she realised that Professor Fern was actually her mother. You see, her mother was extremely passive aggressive and angry over the loss of her re-animated husband so she had sent Peg out on this journey in an effort to make her leg hurt. Previously she had just done the Team Rocket thing and beaten her with a stale Nutella baguette but what she really wanted was to inflict a slow and painful pain on her beloved daughter. Then she took off her mask and lo and behold it was Professor Oak. '

'Yes, readers, you may wonder how an old man can give birth to a girl like Peg' Peg said to herself, 'I too wonder about that every day. I also wonder if I will ever find love or die alone.' Preg jumped on her new Pokemon egg accidentally thinking it was a shell guarding a Mocha hoard. The barely formed Jynx baby oozed out of the cracks of the egg and Peg assumed it WAS Mocha and drank it up. Then she called the old Jynx that she had got to clean her snatch and asked them to kindly just bring the car round and pick up that would be great you're a darl. The Jynx couldn't understand english because she was a jiggaboo. Therefore Peg asked her friend from uni Norm and asked her for a lift.

He came. On her face. Then she gave the fern to Fern, her mother, and said 'It's a fern, GET IT?'

Then Professor Fern gave her a peg and said 'It's a peg, GET IT?'

'I don't get it, Peg cried' said Peg to herself. Then she reflected on her life and her body. Were people calling her Peg behind her back because of her gimpy leg? What else hadn't she realised … that she was socially awkward and stuff? These realisations really hit home and in that moment she decided to reform and be a non-annoying person.

'But I'll just finish this mocha first, she thought to herself' Peg tought to herself. Pikachu is her best friend.

THE END