Remembrance
(A/N: I know this has been done a lot, but I wanted to try a sad fic with my first JouxSeto fic. Yay! Hope you like it.)
Sum: Oneshot. Songfic Ten years after a painful end to their 3 year relationship, Jounouchi and Seto meet up again in America, and they wonder if they can give it another go. Seto knows he hurt Jou, and Jounouchi wants Seto to listen to his heart. Yeah, I know. I kinda gave away the song. And I know this song might have been done a lot, but I don't care.
Sidenote: bold text means flashback.
It was raining. It seemed like it was always raining in his heart. Katsuya Jounouchi sighed, shivering in the cold sleet of rain. The storm had seemingly come out of nowhere. He never trusted the weatherman, and hadn't brought an umbrella or a jacket. Stupid of him. Now his documents were soaked through by now.
He sighed again, lifting his head to the sky, water falling right into his eyes, and he didn't blink. Rain always reminded him of that day. The day his heart had broken and had never healed. He used to love rain, but it only reminded him of the past. He'd sworn off of men altogether, and forced himself to go back to the one woman that had always loved him. His marriage was empty, and his heart was empty. He knew Mai had multiple affairs, but he could no longer get angry, because he knew his heart wasn't in the marriage.
They'd never had a child, an unspoken contract of the marriage. They both knew one would eventually leave the other, and they wouldn't want to put a child through a divorce.
He always felt regret that he'd ever dumped her for the one man he'd hated more than anything in the world. But he'd opened his eyes to a whole other side of himself, a side he guessed he'd always kept secret, even from himself. When he came out, and Seto started introducing him as his boyfriend, there was definitely some conflict. Even his friends distanced themselves from him, not only because he was dating someone he hated, but for the simple fact that he was different.
Seto was his anchor, his soul, his love. They stayed together through the last two years of high school, and for almost all the first year of college. Eventually his friends came back, one by one, and Mai was always beside him. She became his best friend, even more so than Yugi or Tristan. They stuck by him when he found out that Seto had cheated with Tea and multiple other guys and girls.
The irony was that a day after he found out, Seto was the one to dump him, in front of everyone at the campus. He never spoke to him again. Seto transferred to another university, and no one ever heard from him again. Everyone questioned why Seto transferred schools if he was the one to dump Jounouchi, but soon, like the change of weather, they forgot. Tears ran down his face till he couldn't discern between them and the rain.
He heard footsteps, but couldn't tell if it was just the loud clapping of the rain on the ground. He heard a gasp, but didn't care to look up. "Jounouchi?" he heard a familiar voice say.
A voice that had soothed, injured and comforted him. A voice he'd tried and tried time again to forget, but never could. He looked up and held back a sob. He stood up, and slapped him. "Why are you here?"
He tried a light joke. "Can't a man walk alone at night?"
Jounouchi's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You know that's not what I meant."
"I'm sorry, Jou."
"Don't call me that. You lost that right a long time ago. And don't you think it's a little late for sorry?"
"Well, I'm telling you now. I'm sorry, Jou! Okay? I'm really frickin' sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry—"If you don't shut up right now, I'll make you really sorry. Too late, Kaiba. 10 years too late."
He walked away without another word. Four hours later, it was about 1:00 a.m., and Jounouchi found himself at a bar, drinking his sorrows away. This is just pitiful. I'm sitting here at 1 in the morning drinking myself to oblivion, all because of that…that git, Kaiba! I hate him!
He stared bitterly into his whiskey glass, downing it and motioning for more, slamming down two ten-dollar bills on the counter. The bartender, with tan, leathery skin and kind blue eyes, asked, "Don't you think you've had enough?"
His eyes were still clear, but his brain was far from it. "I ain't gotta answer to you. I don't need to ask you for permission," he snapped, slightly slurring his words. Unbidden, tears poured down his face and he roughly swiped them away.
"Troubles? Problem with the missus at home?" he asked, eyeing Jounouchi's wedding band.
The young blonde man sniffed, gripping the shot glass and downing it and grabbing another one. Before he could swill another drink, a slim, pale hand stopped him. "Let go o' me!"
He fought him, and slowly turned around, growling and trying to break free. Finally, because he was too drunk, and tired of fighting the one person he ever truly loved, he stopped. He let himself be half carried out of the bar, into a limo, and driven to the other side of town. When they pulled up in front of a mansion, he came to his senses and punched Kaiba in the nose. He was shocked, but far from hurt. He casually wiped the blood from his nose with a handkerchief from his pocket. "For a drunk, you're a really good shot."
"I'd say thanks, but my head hurts too much, and I really want to kill you right now."
"How about when you're not piss drunk and vulnerable?"
"You want me to hit an eye, too, pretty boy?"
"Still name-calling, I see. Didn't I teach you better, pup?"
"I still don't like that nickname. We used to get into fights all the time. My friends thought you were abusing me until they saw you the next day in school."
Seto chuckled, gently brushing a blonde shock of hair that had fallen across the younger man's face. "You're still beautiful as ever, Jou."
"And you're still arrogant as ever. And I told you, men aren't beautiful."
"And I told you that men have a different kind of beauty. You remember that I was bi, right? Well, I went to Paris once and saw the woman who at the time I thought was the most beautiful female I'd ever seen in my life. She was calm, polite, compassionate, poised, and beautiful. And yet, I still found something missing."
Jounouchi glared at him, but it quickly faded because of the massive headache he was getting. "What?"
"Women are trained all their life to come out that way, right? Well, men don't have tutors to teach them how to be calm, polite, compassionate, or beautiful. They have to learn everything on their own, whether they have a mentor or not. We're the more stubborn of genders, and we have to fight to find out who we really are. Women have artificial beauty, no matter how you look at it. It's been implanted into them since birth. Even without makeup, there's always something that makes them beautiful, whether it's their physical assets, faces, or eye color, whatever.
"But men, only some men get to be breathtakingly beautiful, and for a man to be beautiful, it can either be a curse or a gift. I see it as a gift for a man to be beautiful. Sure, we can be handsome, but only few can be truly beautiful. Not beautiful like women, but seen as beautiful men. It's like some are blessed with beauty that God had only intended for women."
To Jounouchi, any other time, if Kaiba had said this to him, he wouldn't have listened, and would have called him a crazy fruit. But for some reason, he listened intently, and kind of understood what he was saying, even in his drunken state. Kaiba reached out to touch him, but he shrugged away, and his head hit the door. He yelped, quickly grabbing onto the seat to pull himself up. Despite the pain in his head, he refused to stay. He didn't want to become Kaiba's obedient little puppy again. He wanted to be his own man, and not be tricked and lied to and hurt again.
He looked up into his former lover's eyes, and saw compassion, love and tenderness there. He shook his head, not ready to give in yet. He didn't want to be hurt again. "Kaiba! I'm not going back to you! It's too late! I'm not the strong person you think I am! When you broke up with me…I'm not the same I was back then. You can't trick me twice."
He forcefully took the blonde man's hands in his, kissing them and spreading kisses all over his face. "I love you, Jou, and I always will. I can't pretend with you. You're my angel."
Jou's eyes misted up. "Kaiba, how can I ever trust you again? You broke my heart. I married Mai, and it's not fair to her that all I can think about is you. You can't make me leave her just to relive the past. You have to be committed to me, and only me, or else I will forget you and love her with all my heart."
I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes (yeah)
You've built a love
but that love falls apart
your little piece of heaven turns too dark
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide
They're swept away
and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Seto's cold blue eyes glittered with unshed tears. "I want you, Jou. I've wanted you all these years. I haven't been with another woman or man since I broke up with you. I swear."
"You can't keep reliving the past. We're not teenagers anymore. This is real life. What if you hurt me again?"
The taller brunette grabbed him around the waist and kissed him passionately, putting his heart and soul into the kiss. They were so close that their tears melted together, and it was like a union of their souls. "Do you remember?" Seto whispered, kissing him fervently.
"Yes, I remember. Our first kiss was on a rainy night like this. I was angry at you about something, and you just reached over and stole my breath away."
The CEO looked warily at him. "Do you remember?"
More tears cascaded down his face. "Yes."
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
"Jou? Are you ready?" he asked breathlessly, positioned above his entrance.
"I…will it hurt?"
"A little. Just remember to breathe, okay? I promise I'll never hurt you."
He held back tears. "Do you promise?"
He kissed him tenderly, brushing strand hairs out of his face. "I promise."
He thrust into him, and tears starred the blonde's eyes. He bit his lip, refraining from the scream in his throat. It hurt like hell. "Jou? Are you okay?"
He shook his head vigorously, trying to breathe slowly. "It hurts. It really hurts, Seto."
"I'll go really slow, okay? Do you trust me?" he asked, looking directly into his dark brown eyes.
He nodded, closing his eyes in surrender. "Yes, I trust you. I love you, Seto."
"I love you, too, Jou."
And there are voices
That want to be heard
So much to mention
But you can't find the words
The scent of magic
the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind
"Do you trust me now, Jounouchi? Will you let me back into your heart?"
"I…I just don't want to be hurt again."
"And you won't."
"How can you be so sure? You told me you loved me and yet you cheated on me."
"I was weak back then. You showed me what true love was, Jou, and I never forgot that. I'm a better man now. Because of you. Please, let me show you that I've changed. Forget the past and remember the feelings we had."
He pulled something black out of his back pocket and presented it to Jou. He started crying again, quickly sobering up. "Seto…no. I can't accept…"
"Please, Jou. I love you. I want to make this work."
Seto opened it and inside was a simple silver band with a small midnight sapphire. Jounouchi trembled, overwrought with doubt and hope. "Seto…I'll never forgive you if you hurt me again. I'm taking a chance with you."
Seto didn't smile. He knew no words would soothe his fears. His actions meant more to him than his words, so he wouldn't speak anymore. Instead, he took out the ring and slipped it onto his middle finger, next to Jounouchi's wedding band, and backed off, as if to say, 'The choice is yours.'
After a few moments, Jou ripped off the gold wedding band he'd worn for almost 8 years, rolled down the window and chucked it out. He watched it roll down into the sewers, without sadness. He seized the older man's neck and kissed him savagely, tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks. I'll never let you go again.
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
But listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart (mmhm)
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye
(A/N: Uhh, sorry I kinda was mean to Mai in the end. I didn't intentionally want him to chuck his wedding ring out the window. It just happened. I thought it was better than him making passionate love with Seto in the limo. I so would've done that, but then this would have to be more than a oneshot. Hope you guys liked it.)