Title: Those Near-Death Experiences

Summary: Renee does some thinkin'. Which leads to some action. One poster, here.

A/N: I guess thanks for this one goes to the Yahoo! Group I recently joined (as toughasslulu) – I've been meaning to write EFC fanfic for a while, but I'm finally gotten around to it. :)

And I meander a bit – sorry about that. My intent was to write simple mush. ;) This is my first in this fandom, so it's kind of . . . interesting . . .

~*~*~*~

They say that near-death experiences – from surviving car accidents to surviving battles – make you grow closer with others, usually those that share the experience, and that it changes you. And it has changed me. So where's the other half the 'normal reaction'?

Liam and I found out through our various sources – mine more corporate espionage in nature, and his more resistance for the good of humanity in nature – that Sandoval was running another program for Zo'or. This time, it had to do with indoctrinating children. Of course, there was the Volunteer program, but even that didn't get them very young – the earliest at perhaps seventeen. Zo'or and company had decided it wise to get the next generation of leaders . . . elementary school age kids.

Did I mention the school lunches were part of the plot to make the kids susceptible? And of course inner-city schools work best, since most of the kids depend on the daily lunches and even the breakfasts, sometimes.

I remember the look on Liam's face when we discovered the full extent of the operation. When anything has to do with his father, Sandoval, he gets this odd look on his face. Not precisely sad, but more disappointed, perhaps. As if he knew what Sandoval could have been. I suppose it made sense – he possessed at least some of Sandoval's memories, through Ha'gel. Maybe he does know something I didn't.

But whatever he could have been, he's a bastard now.

We knew what Sandoval and Zo'or are up to, now it's only a matter of letting the public know. Liam and I had no arguments on letting it out – sometimes I argue for secrecy, if my company is involved, preferring that I gain power in Taelon circles. Going slower. Liam simply wants to expose the Taelon's activities so they'll realize it's not the right way. I'm less than convinced that we should try to persuade of them anything. I was there on the day they came, and I've been fighting to get them off Earth ever since. I don't care how, as long as it works.

Obviously, Liam and I disagree a lot. We have two very different outlooks on the world, though we strive for the same thing – for them to leave us alone, or at the very least, equality instead of slavery. That common goal makes it all worthwhile.

Among other things.

I don't know when the change occurred, exactly – I think it must have been more gradual. I don't trust easily. I'm not called the ice bitch for nothing. It's not because I'm a woman in a man's world, it's because I'm a shark in a world of fish. I've always been driven to succeed, to accomplish what others can't or won't.

So I was a bit surprised when I became aware of the change. I'm pretty sure it started sometime before I learned of Liam's heritage, and it's been going ever since. I first really became aware of it a few weeks ago.

You see, he was wearing one of those shirts. I'm pretty much convinced I can safely blame Augur for it, really. He was off-duty, in the Flat Planet, drinking with this bemused look on his face. The lights were dim with the occasional strobe light. The shirt was hardly even a shirt – more mesh. Vaguely see-through mesh. When I greeted him, intending to talk about some suspicious activities, he grinned at me sloppily and said, "Have you been good?" With an accent. Slight, but there.

I stopped. "Liam, are you drunk?" I demanded.

"Maybe," he said, and burped lightly. He frowned briefly, wiping his mouth.

Disgusted, I turned away. "I can't talk to you in this condition."

He grabbed my wrist, halting me. He was frowning, somewhat sadly. I faced him and glared. "Major," I said sharply.

He leaned in, stroked my knuckles. "Sorry . . ." And he grinned with perfect mischief.

And for some reason, I didn't see him as a colleague in that moment, I saw him as quite something else. True, he was only a few years old, technically speaking, and sometimes he thought the oddest things, but he was clearly a man. He cocked his head and smiled at me.

I yanked my hand out of his grip, and left quickly, repressing my flush. He called after me, something I didn't make out, but I kept going. The next day, I found a message on my global – an apology from Liam. He said that it had been a rough day, and he wouldn't let it happen again.

Three days after that, the plot about the school kids began to unravel. And not long after, we agreed on a course of action: get the documentation on the program (the real stuff) from the resident office on Earth, and give it to the news media. After that, it didn't take much to plan. Like all those in the Resistance, even those in positions like mine, I was taught in military tactics. Knowledge of corporate espionage – legal and illegal – took care of the rest. Combined with Liam's knowledge of Taelon technology, which was unusually accurate, we figured out how to break in easily enough.

We waited until early morning, three in the morning to be precise, putting on our gear an hour before. We were both business-like. I had done things like this plenty of times with him before, and by now it was almost a routine.

Of course things didn't go as planned. When do they ever?

Gunshots lit the area behind us brilliantly, and my adrenaline, already high, shot up into space. I ducked behind a handy corner and fired back. Liam looked at me, intensely, asking how many of them there were. I answered him, and we strategized on the spot. It felt harshly real, but there was a level of unreality to it, one that allowed me to think and strategize while firing back and doing all the other things of basic survival instinct.

Liam opened up the transportable portal as I fired back at the security guards. He set the coordinates, and motioned at me. I joined him, the heavy bag of documents pressing into my thigh, breathing into his neck and my gun pointing at the floor. There was a split second of disorientation, and then we were in Augur's hideout. I exhaled, stepping away.

I looked around, but Augur wasn't present.

"Got everything?" Liam asked, his breathing only slightly accelerated from our little adventure.

I nodded. "Of course." I step off the platform, and dump the duffel bag onto an empty chair. I focused on breathing deeply, coming down from the high of unexpected combat. Liam watched me a moment, looking much calmer than I felt. His blue eyes looked ageless, like he had seen everything and more.

Then he gave me a concerned look, and normal Liam returned. He didn't say anything – knew better than to ask – but as he took off his gear I noticed him giving me a careful glance every once in a while.

I took off my vest and slumped into a chair.

"Renee?" Liam said, coming close to me. "Are you sure you're all right? You're not –"

"Acting normally?" I finished. "I'm just . . . thinking." I balanced my elbows on my knees, and closed my eyes.

When I sensed that had something had changed, I opened them again. Liam was crouching in front of me.

"We'll probably be fighting again tomorrow," I said suddenly, inanely. Us, as in the two of us, not humanity against the Taelons.

"Probably," Liam agreed, the concerned look never faltering. That's Liam, all right, I thought.

I sighed. "Don't they say . . . that life and death situations are supposed to bring people together?" I laughed harshly.

Liam looked slightly puzzled. By what I was saying? I wondered. "We're not most people." He cocked his head. "And who says we aren't?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you honestly trust me, Liam? Because I don't trust you," I said plainly. "I never know what you're going to do, when your alien heritage is going to pop out of nowhere."

He looked down for a moment, frowning. "I . . ." he hesitated.

At least he can be honest with himself, I thought.

Then his face cleared of the uncertainty, and he had that same look of confidence he had carried since I met him. "I trust you to do what you think is right. I trust you to always think of humanity first, and never yourself."

That stopped me. I stared at him for a long minute, but his gaze never wavered. He meant what he said. I was the one who finally looked away.

"Renee . . ."

I made to stand up, and he held me down, grabbing my arms. That earned him a glare. "Liam. Let me go."

Finally, after another long moment, he did. I yanked myself away from him with more force than was necessary. I walked towards the exit, but Liam's soft tone stopped me.

"I think I can guess what you were thinking about," he said quietly.

I didn't turn around, but I did stop walking. "Oh?"

"If other people are brought closer by the same kind of experiences we go through on a daily basis, why haven't we?"

Damn, but that was creepy.

Apparently he didn't expect a response, because he kept going. "Because as strong as natural reactions are, we don't let them control us."

"Because we're too reasoned?" I asked, putting my hand against a roof support and sighing. I felt, rather than saw, him move up to me. He settled a hand on my waist.

"Because we're too stubborn," he amended.

I turned my head. He was right by me, his face only inches away, a surprisingly soft smile on his face. I could feel the heat emanating from his body – he actually had a higher body heat than normal for a human, I remembered hearing, though it was just within normal ranges.

So where's the other half of the normal reaction? I thought, and kissed him.

His lips were warm, and he immediately responded. And my first thought after kissing him was, where on Earth had he gotten the practice? I turned to face him, and opened my mouth –

And Augur kindly interrupted. "Hey! Kids? Make out in your own place, okay?"

Liam jerked away from me, startling. I reacted just as quickly. Liam gave Augur an abashed smile. Augur snorted, took himself and his bright shirt – which surely constituted a personality on it's own – and plopped into a chair. I heard him mutter under his breath, "At least the kid's getting some."

I put my hand against my forehead and laughed soundlessly. Liam grinned down at me, and drew his finger down the side of my face.

Of course, Augur told us to get a room.

And here we are now. That's how it happened – or rather how it started. I still don't quite think I ever got the other side of the 'normal reaction'. I don't think it was battle or the fighting or the struggle that brought us together. I think it was more of a sidenote. People get married every day without having to resort to being in life and death situations with the person they're interested in.

A year after all that happened, Liam and I still do fight regularly. But I'm learning to understand his deep connection and understanding of the Taelons, of other species. He's learning to understand that sometimes you have to take sides, and that you can't please everyone . . . or even always keep everyone alive.

We're both learning how morning sickness sucks – I get to throw up, and he gets to deal with everything else that morning.

Of course, we're a little worried about the kids, even with Dr. Parker around . . . but I suppose it's just another adventure in this new world, with aliens and all, and aren't those types of situations supposed to bring you together?

[fin]