Musings by Hunter Hearst Helmsley
AN: This is based on a post-RAW segment after airtime – Triple H did the People's Elbow (as did Rock), then announced that he liked poontang pie and went to get some. A lil follow-up …
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Why me?
Ironic really. Me, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, falling for … I can't even say it, much less believe it. But it's true, I—
No! Stop it Hunter, you're sounding like Kurt now … geez damn. I don't get any of this. Maybe it was when I met this person. The personality and arrogance was so enticing, I guess that's because it's almost like mine. Even mocking me on RAW … only payback for my original DX stint.
And the talent – oh, but it's good. Sure, people boo me when I come out with Stephanie, I'm an asshole and she's a slut. But when those three words hit the ring, there's just this pop. We've even paired off for our problems. And yes, we've had our fun with two current assholes, a certain Pittburghian who somehow got his citizens out on bail to watch, and some tooth-decayed psychopath. I'd probably ask for a date, but being the Greenwich aristocrat I am …
And people. Maybe I'm contributing to it, but once I actually got so high (but only because of X-Pac and Road Dogg sniffing it too!) that I happened to watch a WCW segment. Damn, how unsurprising … that we became so good, they had to put Lenni and Lodi in that position … It could seem suspicious if I drop out of church* by disagreement. And telling wouldn't do. Already married – we've been opposites for so long …
But opposites attract, ne. So kawaii …
Shut up! (Waah! Gomen nasai!) Great, now the voices in my head talk Japanese … gotta stop going on tours with Mick and Al … Speaking of Mick, I'll just tell him I need time off. He and Vince'll just laugh, but it'll relieve the pressue I got. One thing's for sure, I don't wanna be outed and rejected. Or use this pickup line:
"So Rock, wanna go get some poontang pie?"
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Disclaimer: Hunter Hearst Helmsley/Triple H/HHH belong to Jean-Paul Levesque (real Triple H), Vinny Mac, World Wrestling Federation Entertainment (WWF on the NYSE!) and so on. Oh yeah, I have NO idea what church Triple H attends. Jean-Paul is free to correct me by E-mail. The segment is a very distasteful gay-bashing segment on WCW … I never saw WCW before that, I refuse to now.