Baby
Alex didn't see the baby right away. He went straight to her sister's arms. The entire Eames clan gathered around the new parents, leaving Alex in the staff's capable hands.
Liz was kind enough to include Bobby as one of the multiple recipients of the text.
Though she still hurt, the pain was less than that of giving birth. Apparently, something was torn, and the Doctor had to stitch her up before sending her back to a room to rest.
There was an ache, and a throbbing, but mostly Eames was feeling very lonely. In her exhaustion, she took a deep breath and gave herself a mental pep-talk. Of course you knew this would be emotional. You knew that going in. Think of Liz and how happy she and Stan must be. Besides, Nathan was never yours. He only lived inside you for nine months. He's not made of your DNA.
Goren was so relieved. He was walking the halls of the courthouse with his temporary partner when the text came through. He shared the news with her and everyone else standing in earshot. He was as happy as could be.
He made excuses and headed for the hospital. The court summons had taken precedence over Alex giving birth, and he'd been incredibly annoyed by it. He'd done everything he could to support her through her pregnancy, and he was devastated that he couldn't be with her at the finish line. Thank God a verdict had come through, and the trial was over. Now there was nothing standing in the way of his seeing Eames.
"Alex? You awake?"
"Yeah, Johnny," she croaked with a groggy voice.
"He's beautiful, sis. You did a great job."
Alex answered with a weary sigh.
"You okay?"
"'Course." It was a lie, but there was no way she went through nine months to let her family down at the end. Even if she had regrets, she resolved that the Eames clan would never know.
Johnny brushed a stray hair away from her eyes with his fingertips. He knew something was off, and he suspected it was a kind of post-partum depression. But if Alex wanted to pretend she was fine, he wasn't going to make things difficult for her by confronting her with it. "Okay. Did… did you want to see him? Your nephew?"
Alex swallowed hard. She did, and she didn't. "So tired…" she whispered. Maybe she could buy herself some time before she had to fully face these emotions.
"Okay. Rest first. I'll come back to see you in a little while, okay, sis?"
She nodded.
"Love ya."
She nodded again, and closed her eyes, hoping desperately for sleep to come.
She heard something shuffling nearby and her curiosity got the best of her. She opened her eyes to peek.
Bobby. He was sitting in the bedside chair, trying to read two magazines at once while his left knee bounced uncontrollably.
"Hey," she said to him, and he scooted forward, dropping both magazines on the floor. He started for them to pick them up, then realized what he really cared about was at eye level. He looked her in the eye and smiled wide.
"Hi," he said it so gently, she felt like some kind of princess. "Are you, you know, feeling all right?"
"Yeah, I guess," she said, feeling the painful throbbing in her nether parts again. She pulled a face and shifted her position slightly.
"They said you, uhm, you need to get up and walk a little. I mean, you—if you're up to it, I'd be happy to give you a hand."
Alex closed her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was get out of the bed.
"I brought you somethin'."
She opened her eyes again, and saw he was pointing at a bouquet of flowers. Mixed arrangement, all friendship and joy and care. She tried to smile. "Thanks, Bobby."
"So… you ready for a walk? We could go down the hall and see the baby."
Her heart sank. She still didn't want to. She was afraid if she saw him, she would feel the emptiness all over again.
"Eames?"
When she looked into Bobby's eyes, she saw deep concern written there.
"Okay, uh, we… don't have to… if you're not ready yet." He had realized from her expression exactly what the problem was. "But you still need to walk."
She closed her eyes and sighed. She had to heal quickly and get back to her life. It was the only way to deal with… with all of it. Alex nodded and started to push up on her elbows.
Bobby's large hand was supporting her back, and she trembled against him. Her muscles were spent from the hours of childbirth. She didn't know how she was supposed to walk a few feet, much less down the hall.
He helped her to her feet and she only winced a little. "Uh… here," he said, and held her robe for her while she pulled it on. Alex held herself up on the back of the guest chair while Bobby gently tied the sash for her. "Ready?" he asked, checking her eyes for honestly.
"Okay," she breathed. He held his arm out and she reached through the crook with her fingers while he put his other hand firmly against hers. He was her strength, and he wouldn't let her fall. Slowly, they shuffled out of the room.
"Look who's up!" Said an excited voice. Alex's father stepped forward and dropped a kiss on Alex's cheek. "You look terrific, sweetie," the old man said. "And Nathan is the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on."
Alex had to smile at her father. He was so proud of his grandson. "Thanks, Dad," she said quietly. Her father took up position on her other side, and the three slowly strolled down the hall.
"You're going to see him, aren't you?" asked Mr. Eames.
Bobby looked down at Alex, who refused to meet his gaze. "Uh, I think she may not be ready to walk that far just yet," he offered.
"No, Bobby." She raised her eyes to his. "I'm okay."
He paused, searching her expression, and then he nodded. "To the nursery, then." He gave her a smile.
Her Dad held her right hand and Bobby held her left, and they walked her to the window of the nursery. A baby blue index card identified the third incubator from the right as Nathan James Gallagher.
Alex didn't break down, but she started to tremble. Bobby put his right arm around her waist and kept her on her feet. Her father didn't seem to notice, he was so enamored with his grandson.
"Let's get you back," Bobby suggested, and Alex's father took notice. "I've got her," Bobby assured her father.
The old man let go her hand, gave her another kiss on the cheek, and said, "I'm proud of you, sweetie."
Alex gave him a weary smile and let Bobby bear most of the burden as they navigated back through the hall to her waiting bed. She gasped and cried out as she climbed back in, and when he finally helped her lay back, his face was drawn with worry.
That's when the tears came. Her eyes filled so fast they were running down her cheeks before she even let go a whimper. She felt as though someone had torn the heart right out of her chest.
Bobby reached down with his big hands and pulled her against his chest. He soothed her as she cried, petting her hair and tucking his cheek against the crown of her head. She still felt empty, but she managed to stop crying.
Bobby gently laid her back against her pillow. He found a washcloth and helped her wash her face.
"I don't know why," she tried to explain.
"Shhh…there doesn't have to be a why," he told her.
"But it's not like he died or anything… he's not even mine, he's Liz and Stan's. Completely. It's like I just babysat for them for a while."
Bobby's eyes softened. "Nathan was a part of you, Alex. For nine months. He stimulated your hormones… he changed you. It makes perfect sense to me that you would be feeling a sense of loss right now."
She reached out her hand and he took it. Bobby rested his other hand in the softness of her hair and petted her until she fell asleep.
Bobby stayed at her side for two hours, and then he had to go find something to eat. He stopped by the nursery again, wondering at the child that Alex had brought into the world. He stood at the window and was shaken for a moment by how much the baby resembled a picture of himself as a newborn that he had seen in his mother's things.
Bobby shook away the thought. He was a newborn, and all newborns looked alike, when it came right down to it. His memory betrayed him, though, and he had fuzzy flashes of something that he'd been pretending had never happened.
He looked at the little boy again, and for a moment, his heart missed a beat. No. This was Liz and Stan's son. They'd paid a fortune for the fertility people to make this happen. There was no mistake, here. Alex was sure. He had to trust her.
But Alex didn't remember that night. And he'd never had the guts to tell her what he remembered.