All In Again

Luke and Lorelai/Java Junkie

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. If I did, Luke and Lorelai would be married already and Chris wouldn't ever exist. All the characters belong to Amy Sherman Palladino and are being brought back by the great Dave Rosenthal! GO DAVE!!!

"Finally," I thought to myself as I walked through the door to my home and shuffled down the hall.

I dropped my keys on the table next to the answering machine as my fingers automatically pressed the button.

"You have no messages," the robotic voice of the machine sounded, echoing ten times louder in the silence of my empty home.

I sighed and shrugged off my jacket, placing it across the back of the chair and wandering into the kitchen. I reached up in the cupboard for my coffee. I looked in the bag as I pulled it out and was dismayed to see it was nearly gone. There was barely enough there for a very weak cup. I dropped the bag on the counter and sighed. It had been a long and difficult day and all I wanted was a good cup of coffee and to go to bed.

I had signed the divorce papers and sent them back to Chris's lawyer. Even though we both knew that the marriage wasn't right for either of us, I still felt a tinge of regret that the marriage hadn't worked out. I was now 38, newly divorced and all alone.

I curled up on the couch and tucked my legs underneath me as I attempted to watch TV. However, I found that I could not pay attention to the movie that was playing, even if it was a classic like Casablanca and one of my favorite movies. My mind kept wandering back to the happy times from the last two years. A movie night. A waltz. A first kiss. A Horoscope. An ice rink. An engagement. An "I love you." I knew I still loved Luke. I had never stopped.

The phone rang , bringing me back to reality.

"Hey Mom," Rory's voice came over the line.

"Hello my darling daughter! You made it back to Yale in one piece?"

"Well aside from the arm and a leg it cost me to fill up my car with gas, yes. Although I did leave my heart there with you."

"Aw, now that's something I won't ever be giving back, no matter how many Malomar cookies you bribe me with," I replied with a smile.

"So how are you?" he asked, concern in her voice.

"Fine," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well you just signed the divorce papers."

"I'm fine Rory," I insisted. "I mean, yeah, it's weird you know? I mean, I'm married one minute and divorced six weeks later. I feel as though I've just pulled a Britney except she got her first one annulled."

"Well, at least you haven't shaved your head," Rory replied. "So what are you doing?"

"Thinking," I said simply.

"About Luke?" she asked, interpreting the tone in my voice.

"She's too smart for her own good," I thought to myself.

"I miss him kid," I admitted quietly aloud. "I miss him a lot."

"Go talk to him Mom," she urged.

"Rory, I can't. What I did to him was..." I paused, shuddering as the expression on Luke's face when I told him I'd slept with Chris flashed through my mind. "Awful," I finished lamely. "He'll never forgive me for that."

"You forget though, that Logan did the same thing last year. I forgave him and look where we are now."

"You however, are not a monosyllabic man wearing flannel and backwards baseball caps."

"Mom, come on. You still love him. I know you do," she paused waiting for me to respond. When I didn't she continued, "Just go talk to him Mom. Go in and get a cup of coffee and tell him how you feel."

"Rory," I began.

"Just think about it," she interrupted. "Oh I've gotta go. Logan's calling in. I love you Mom. Bye!"

"But..." I tried to say as the line went dead.

I can't do it I thought, again turning my attention back to Casablanca.

However as the minutes dragged on, I couldn't get Rory's words out of my mind. These, combined with the memory of our first of many movie nights was becoming too much for me to handle. I glanced up at the clock and knew that Luke would be closing the diner shortly. I stood up and grabbed my jacket, slipping it on as I walked out the door.