"I want to drink your deliciouse life essence", he rasped, overwhelmed by her passionate aura. He moved in for the kill when-
"Oh Ed! I knew you loved me.. Drink my life essence! Please" Bela threw herself at his feet, tears in her deep, sorrowful eyes as she dry humped his leg.
Suddenly overcome with a feeling of disgust, Ed shook his leg to rid himself of the clinger. She held steadfastly on.
"Get off me you 15 cent hoe! All I want to do is bang you and perhaps drink your blood!" Wailed Ed as he shimmered in the moonlight, like all pussy vampires.
"Noooo! But Ed! Our love is eternal-" She was cut off as Genesis tumbled into the scene.
"MISTAH MORRIE!! MISTAH MORRIE!!!" She bellowed, muffin-top jiggling from micro tremors.
Suddenly, God struck them all down with a mighty bolt of thunder.
"Thou shalt not readith Twilight in my house! Die, infildels!" Boomed God from above.
As soon as his voice stopped echoing, rocks fell and killed them all.
~~~~4 hours later~~~~
Edward soared from the rubble into the sky, flying majestically.
The air aroun d him sparkled with diamond essence.
"oh Edward!!! Rescue me!! I am your true love! Come suck my life essence and be a creeper and sstalk me!! Eeeeeeeddddddwwwwward!!" wailed Bella as blood spurted out of her arm, amputated from the wrath of God.
He flew down and became mezmerized by her special aura.
Creeper Mode: Initiated
Edward pierced her elastic, gentle, neck-skin as he slobbered on her twiggy neck. Saliva dribbled down her neck as God gazed disdainfully down, "How the fuck did I let such a nastay, atrocious seiries like Twilight exist???"
As God pondered his Pitiful Creations, Edward busily slobbered on Bella.
"Oooh yes, your life essence...it enraptures my Stone Cold, Unbeating heart...I want to implant my vampire baby (parasite) inside of you...and after youdie, Nessie and I will canabalize you. I do hear human flesh rends quite easily, and it tastes like buttery tuna." said Edward as he went super saiyan.
"Rooooaar! SUUUPERR...SAIYANN...GO!!!" bellowed Edward as his muscles bulged and his hair spiked up, suddenly a bright blonde.
His aura was intense, glowing a bright gold as he suddenly imploded.
The End.