. Dunno why I wrote this. I on quizilla, looking at "Are a you a Mary Sue?" quizzes and I felt I should do something to support the Anti-Sue movement.

Introducing… The MARY SUE HUNTER. (And yes, he is available for hire.)

I do not own Miguel, Kai, Tala, Bryan, or Beyblade. I do own Serenity, Rayvyn, Raine and Sakura. Please, feel free to steal them, I want them to die. If you do like Mary Sues, flee now or stay and realize the horror.

"Miguel-honey," A beautiful young woman with long blonde hair and perfect eyes called. "It's time for dinner!" Her deep blue orbs sparkled brilliantly as she put the perfect food on the perfect table. "Life is so wonderful." She said as her husband, Miguel came into the room.

Suddenly, there was a loud crack.

"What?" Serena, the perfect, woman said curiously as a silver haired man stood suddenly in front of her. "Who are you?"

The man glared, narrowing pale eyes. "Begone, SUE!" He snarled pointing at her. There was a flash of light, and she was gone.

"One down," Bryan laughed, as he too vanished.

-------------Death to Mary Sues--------------------------

"Kai!" The woman screamed, her dark hair falling across her pale face and hiding red eyes. "Don't leave me here in the Abbey!" The woman awoke, sweating, pushing the dark strands from her eyes. She breathed heavily, perfect chest heaving.

"I hate my powers," She sobbed. "Because of them, the Abbey did experiments on me." She sighed, looking down at her hands. "They don't understand me."

At those words, a loud crack filled the room.

"Who are you?" Rayvyn hissed, pulling out her trusty beyblade with her dark Phoenix bitbeast.

"The Mary Sue Hunter." Came the cold reply. "And you have failed." A plume of smoke, and the angsty, dark young woman was gone for good. Bryan's only action was to laugh.

-------------Death to Mary Sues--------------------------

"Get away from my boyfriend, slut." Raine hissed at Hilary, as the girl stared at Kai, wide-eyed.

"Shut up." Hilary snarled in reply. Raine rolled her eyes.

"You're such a girly-girl." She said scornfully, flipping her long, red-streaked hair. "No one wants a poser like you."

"I would rather be a girly-girl then a fake." Hilary eyed Raine, jealous of her perfect figure. Raine had subtle, but gorgeous curves and she was beautiful.

"It's all natural." Raine sniffed. "Now back off." Kai nodded. Hilary's eyes teared up. "Get lost." She raised a hand to slap her.

There was a bang. The somewhat imposing figure of Bryan stood in between the girls.

"For the crime of being a Mary Sue, I sentence you to death." He said harshly as he waved his hand and Raine vanished.

"Thank you." Hilary said softly as she turned to face Kai. "Now you."

-------------Death to Mary Sues--------------------------

A cute girl skipped along to her school, her bust bouncing at the movement. Suddenly she tripped and skinned her knee on the pavement as well as tearing a hole in her long, rainbow socks.

"I always trip," She grinned. "I'm such a clutz." Sakura got back up and kept skipping along.

A flash of light and the Mary Sue Hunter stood before her.

"Wanna be friends?" She asked cheerily, not noticing his murderous expression.

"Wanna die slowly?" He asked in a mock-cheerful tone.

"Huh?" She asked, her head cocked cutely to one side. A bang and this Mary Sue, also, was gone.

-------------Death to Mary Sues--------------------------

At the end of the day, the Mary Sue Hunter returned home, nursing a headache from the shrill voices of the annoying brats.

Tala met him at the door, noting silently, the expression of fury on his brother's face.

"You ok, Bry?" He asked, handing Bryan a cup of coffee.

Bryan downed the coffee in one gulp before stumbling. Tala caught him.

"Were there a lot of Mary Sues?" He asked sympathetically. Bryan nodded, almost sobbing.

"I can't stand them, Tala. All their fake attitudes. And Kai of all people was in love with one of those things…" He continued desperately. "There are more and more…"

Tala turned to look directly at the reader, (No one knows how).

"Only you can stop Mary Sues." He intoned solemnly. Bryan screamed.

"TALA! THAT'S SUCH A CLICHÉ!" Tala flinched, shuddered and fell to the ground in horror.

Weird, I know.