She's nervous. It's been three months since she's seen him and she knows he's going to be mad but as long as he forgives her she'll be satisfied. It'll be even better if he wants to come back if he wants to help her finish this case. Put it to rest so she can finally heal, move on, and live her life.

So she walks into the building and stands in line. She has his book in her hand and she gets a sense of déjà vu because this is the building were she got her first book signed. She smiles at the memory.

It was a cold winter day in February. It was the fourth to be exact. Her mothers birthday and she couldnt help but cry this morning when she left. She's supposed to be meeting her dad for coffee later that day but she might not make it because the line is taking longer than usual. She has In the Hail of Bullets clutched in her hand. She hasn't put it down since she first bought it.

It's her favorite book. It did exactly what she wanted. It distracted her but it did so much more. It gave her a place she could escape into a place that helped her forget. It was like home when she missed her mother and when her father was drinking. Which he would most likely start doing if she didn't show up soon.

Slowly the line began picking up pace and she thought she wouldn't be more than ten minutes late.

She was next in line and she couldn't contain her excitement. When she stepped up next in line he smiled brightly at her. Then he leaned in and whispered, "you're by far the prettiest girl to come in here today."

Whoa...did he?...no he didn't...he did! Richard Castle just called her pretty.

"Who am I making this out to?" He asked tilting his head to the side.

"Uh...Johanna. Johanna please."

"Is that your name?" He asked writing in the book.

"No my mother why?"

"What is it?"

"Kate."

He was writing extra on the next page but from where she was standing she couldn't see what.

"Here you go Kate." He held the book out to her instead of sliding it across the table. When their hands touched he spoke again. "Whatever's wrong you'll get through it. You'll be okay."

Before she could ask what he meant she was being ushered out of the way by a security.

Back in her car she read what he had written.

"To Johanna,

Your daughter is incredibly gorgeous and I'm honored to have met her.

"To Kate,

Don't let the storm stop you from going outside. Make it the reason you dance in the rain."

Sincerely,

Rick Castle

When she checked the mirror she realized that her mascara had ran when she was crying earlier. That's why he said that.

So here she is next in line. His head is down, he's not as happy as she is use to seeing him at these. And she hates it because she knows she's the cause of his brooding. His eyes aren't sparkling and he's giving his fans fake smiles.

It's her turn and he doesn't even look up at her.

"And who should I make it out to?" No enthusiasm, no excitement, just pain.

"Kate," he looks up at her with the fake smile. Then it registers. His smile fades. "You can make it out to Kate."

He looking at her with such disbelief not because she's there but because she's there asking him to sign a book for her after she completely cut him off. How dare she?

He doesn't say a word to her he just slides the book back over to her and looked away. She quickly took the hint and left.

She's waiting outside for him still tightly clutching at another one of his books. He comes out and walks past her like she doesn't even exist. But he saw her standing there and the expression on his face was nothing but hurt and disgust.

"Castle wait."

"I did. Three months. You never called." He didn't turn around he didn't even stop walking.

"Look, I know you're angry..."

"You're damn right I'm angry. I watched you die in that ambulance. Did you know that? You know ehat that's like, watching the life drain out of someone you..." He paused. No he wasn't going to say it again, not if it meant he was just going to get hurt in the process. "Someone you care about?"

"I told you I needed some time."

"You said a few days."

"I needed more."

"Well you should have said that," he said turning to leave.

"Castle look I couldn't call you. Not without dragging myself through everything I was just trying to get some space from. I needed some time to just work through everything."

"Josh help you with that?" Irrelevant seeing as how she didn't remember but it was almost everything to him.

She had to fight rolling her eyes. "We broke up." She turned and crossed the street into a park.

'He loves you he will follow. Please follow me Castle I'm not ready for this to end. I can't lose you. Follow me please.' She thought. 'He's gonna follow he's gonna follow he's gonna follow.'

They were on the swings sitting silently for a moment. She noticed him checking his watch constantly like he was wasting his time being with her right now.

"I like the dedication," she finally broke the silence.

"Seemed right."

"It must've been hard writing that ending."

"Yeah. Yeah, given the circumstances, yeah."

"So why'd you guys break up?" The inevitable question.

"I really really likes him. But that wasn't enough."

Hope. She saw hope glimmer in his eyes and then she realized she wants to be with this man. She wants to give it a chance. But there's something in her way.

"After my mother was killed something inside me changed. It's like a built up a wall inside. I don't know I guess I just didn't wanna hurt like that again." She turned to face him but he was still staring straight ahead. "I know I'm not gonna be able to be the kind of person that I wanna to be. I know I'm not gonna," she paused and he turned to face her. "I'm not gonna be able to have the kind of relationship that I want until that wall comes down. And that's not gonna happen until I put this thing to rest."

She was waiting for him to respond. She wasn't sure about what to expect but she hoped that he understood.

"Well I suppose we're gonna have to find these guys and take 'em down." She smiled and bit the inside of her lip to keep it from spreading into laughter. "Doesn't mean I'm not still mad."

"The boys told me about what you did, following the money trail. Trying to track down who the cops paid off."

"I just wish it led somewhere. I mean, I located the files. When the bank closed, they took all the dead account paperwork and stored it in a warehouse in Union City. But a couple years after the move a fire broke out and the files were destroyed. It's just another dead end."

"How'd it happen?"

"It was an accident it was old wiring."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, there was an investigation."

"Well did you see the report from the fire investigator?"

"No. But," he looked at her unbelievingly. "Really a warehouse fire? Seems an awful lot of trouble just for a couple of files."

"That's no more trouble than they've already gone through. I mean we have to read that report. But there's just this one problem."

She's hoping that this is going to work because if it does it means they're back to their old selves again. It means she has her partner back.

"What?"

"How are you gonna help if Gates kicked you out?" She asked playfully.

"I only let her kick me out because there was no reason to stay."

"Hmm."

"She'll take me back."

She gave him another playful look because it worked. They were slowly being themselves again. But then her smiled faded and they held each others gaze. Another moment. They were having another one of their moments and she can't help but know what he's thinking and she can't help but think it either. But this can't happen, not after the conversation they just had.

"Kate?"

"Yeah."

"I understand everything you said. But just this once can I do something? I promise we can forget about it afterwards but please just let me do this."

"Yeah Castle. What? What is it?" She asked honestly confused.

Castle stood up from his swing and stood directly in front of her. Slowly he brought his hands up to her face and rested his palms on her cheeks. Never waving his gaze from her eyes, he gently stroke a lock of hair behind her ear. Keeping his hand placed on the back of her neck he slowly brought his lips down to touch hers.

It was slow and sweet and it just felt...right. It wasn't heated or passionate. It was like he was reassuring himself that he does feel that connection between them and its not all in his head.

She was trying with all her might not to touch him. She had to put her hands on the metal chains of the swing to stop herself from putting her fingers through his hair.

This kiss was full of potential and silent promises. Which they both needed. When he finally broke it he whispered "thank you" in her ear before stepping away.

"Come on. Lets get that report," he said walking away.

"Yeah. These walls definitely need to come down," she said when he was out of ear shot.

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