A/n: Whoa, haven't uploaded ANYTHING for a while...
Anyhow, this is a short little one-shot. Kinda sad. And I feel kinda sad, so it's a good time to post. So no shooting me, please. :: hides ::
Oh, and if it sucks, that's because I edited... nothing. It's kinda raw. Heh.
Raven stared out the window into the bright, sunny day. After a moment, she turned away, the blinds crashing down in a torrent of black.
She couldn't believe what was happening.
"I don't understand," she murmured. "How could it - ?"
Her thoughts were interrupted by a scratching sound at the door. She ignored it, hoping it would go away. It soon did.
In frustration, she hit the wall with her fist. Something far off shattered. "Why are they doing this to me? Don't they get it? I'm not like them!"
A soft breeze stole into the room, shifting her hair ever so slightly. Raven turned, searching for its source. The window, in her emotional upheaval, had cracked, and a few pieces had fallen away, allowing the warm California air into the room. Sighing, she located the pieces and levitated them back into place.
Wrapping her cloak around her, Raven leaned against a wall. She'd been losing control more often lately, after the prophecy had come true. Her bottled-up anger and loose emotions were affecting her train of thought and the way she stopped crime, making her more and more violent – towards the criminals, the civilians, even her friends.
"I hate this," she said aloud in a conversational, calm voice. "I hate my powers. I hate my father and what he's done."
This didn't help, either. The single lamp in her room toppled from the table, whose legs had splintered to nothing. Raven kicked it, causing the clay lamp to break and her toes to hurt.
Finally, as a last resort, she settled on the bed and closed her eyes.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."
With the familiar words came an equally familiar sense of calm. It was easy for Raven to fade into a serene state. Emotions in check, she probed deeper into the tranquility. The monks on Azarath had taught her that true peace came when there was no sound – no touch of anger – remaining in a person.
She took a slow, silent breath. It was so quiet in her room. Was this true peace? Was it what she'd been searching so long for?
But as time went by, Raven began to notice small things. The slight movements on the floor below, Cyborg in the kitchen; slight thumping down the hall as Robin pounded on a practice dummy. Normally, she wouldn't notice such tiny, useless sounds, but as she realized what she wanted, she discovered that the noises were what kept her from internal peace.
Ignore it, she thought. Don't let the sounds destroy your peace.
The harder she tried, the more prominent the sounds became. Thump, thump, thump. Ki-kicha-ta-ta-shim-shim-ka.
Pressing all her being into it, Raven tried with all her might to forget the sound, to find refuge within herself. At last, she gained what she strived for: she could no longer hear the boys.
I found it, she thought giddily. I found true peace.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Her teeth ground together as her ears located one last sound. Thump-thump, thump-thump. Its beat pounded in her ears, ringing painfully.
Thump-thump, thump-thump.
She couldn't tell what it was; she was too far-gone for that. It beat a tattoo against her mind, breaking down the wall she'd built around her mind.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
Raven's mind twisted in agony, trying and trying to deafen that sound. Breathe in, breathe out, in and out, she told herself. Slower – longer – perfect.
Thump…thump…
Deeper breaths, she thought. Slower. Ignore it. Stop the sound.
Thump…
Thump…
As she concentrated on silencing the thumping, Raven heard it soften, diminish, until finally, finally, it ended.
And she found her inner peace that day, but at a terrible price. Because to stop the sounds around her, Raven stopped her heart.