It has been a while, ladies and gents.

But I'm baaaaaaaack

For the Crack!

Chirp like a Chocobo

"Chirp like a chocobo, Cloud."

"N-no way!"

"Cloud! Do it!"

The blonde boy shook his head feverishly. "No!"

Zack crossed his arms, crystal eyes glaring down at young cadet under his charge. "Cadet! When I say cluck like a bird, you cluck like a bird with a happy face and a yes sir! So get clucking!"

Pale lips pulled down into a frown, the boy shifting uncomfortably in the polka-dotted chocobo suit. "I'm not doing this…"

"Next time, win a bet and you won't have to." Zack grinned, "That is, if you're dumb enough to take a bet with me again…"

The sulking chocobo shook his feather covered head, the beak over his forehead dropping to cover his eyes. Zack clamped a hand over Cloud's shoulder, "Didn't think so."

Giving a slight heave, the Soldier 1st Class shoved the boy through a set of doors. Stumbling into their unit's cafeteria, Cloud tripped over large stuffed feet and almost fell completely over. The lunchroom went silent as a hundred eyes stared at the first year in a mixture of horror and amusement.

Zack strolled in after the miniature chocobo, hands clamped behind his back as he turned to address the crowd. "Ladies and gentle folk! We have a special performance for you all today!" Murmurs from the audience brought a sparkle to the Soldier's eyes. Nudging the cadet with his foot, Zack prompted the boy to start. Cloud, again, shook his head.

The soldier frowned. "Awww, come on, Cadet! I'm sure your classmates would love to see what you've prepared for them!"

Cloud whimpered, "Zack, you're cruel…"

The man giggled.

Sighing, Cloud grudgingly stepped forward and cleared his throat, looking around nervously. Quietly, he started to mumble something from under the beak of the suit, shifting from side to side.

"Louder, Cadet!"

"I-I'm a pretty little choco-..." Cloud choked on his words when someone screamed for him to sing louder. Another person joined in, and then Zack added his two gil as well, adding to the stress of it.

The spiky haired blond sighed in defeat before lifting his chin, casting a glare off to the side towards his leader. Clearing his throat, Cloud took a deep breath and sang.

"I'm a pretty little chocobo, watch me strut!" Waddling around, the wings of the chocobo suit flapped up and down while the cadet nodded his head, the beak waving over his face. "With a big yellow beak-" Hopping around, Cloud wiggled his feathered behind frantically. "-And feathers on my butt! WARK!"

-Roughly 6 years later-

Cloud sat in horror, staring at the large computer screen that resided on the Highwind as his fellow crew members stood around him, all watching the same thing as he was. Reeve did everything to his best ability to not burst at the seams in his expensive suit with laughter, an inaudible snort escaping his nose. On the screen was long forgotten surveillance footage, over five years old. While searching Cloud's name in the ShinRa database Reeve had discovered this tagged and sealed under Zack Fair's personal email.

Clearing his throat, the ex-executive crossed his arms over his chest, on hand resting on his chin. Yuffie wanted to burst, the evidence clear on her face and in the way she bounced on her heels. Beside her, Red shook with light chuckles, head down low enough that his mane covered his eye.

Cid's cigarette hit the floor, hissing on the cold metal. He could catch flies with how wide his mouth was agape, azure eyes glued on the paused image on the screen. Barret and Tifa were in no better condition.

Vincent stood beside Aerith, arms crossed over his chest with a smirk hidden behind his ever-present crimson cloak. The flower girl from Sector 5 held a hand to her cheek, her jade eyes glowing with mirth. Pink lips were pulled into a wide smile, her other hand firmly placed on her hip.

No one spoke a word.

Much to the blonds' dismay, someone had to crack, and surprisingly, it was the ex-Turk that started the rest of teammates on the journey of rib cracking laughter. As cold as ever, Vincent muttered one word. "Wark."

Yuffie was the first to go, shortly followed by Reeve, then the remaining members, all save Vincent how just remained silent with the tilt still on his lips. Aerith had to lean into the taller man as her giggles turned to full out laughter that brought tears to her eyes. Nanaki covered his muzzle with a paw, chuckles shaking his hunched shoulder blades.

"I'm a-a-a pretty little ch-chocobo-" started Cid, his deep, throaty laughter cutting off the words and almost making them into gibberish. Tifa and Yuffie chimed in, wiping the tears from their eyes, "Watch me s-s-strut!"

Reeve grabbed the back Cloud's chair for support, wiggling it side to side to disrupt the shocked and silent leader, "With a big yellow beak-" he managed between chuckles.

All together, the team shouted between their laughter, "-And feathers on my butt!"

Cloud winced, coming out of his stupor, than sighed with a small smile. "Wark…"

"WARK!"

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