Wishing On Lights

by Kadi

Rated: K

Disclaimer: Not my sandbox, just a place I like to visit.

A/N: It's been mentioned that Ricky & Emily will be back for the winter episodes, probably around the holidays. I wonder what that would look like? Just a one-shot, it's time for Rusty to start learning family traditions if he's going to be one of them.

Note: Heavy on the mothership feels, but there's a tiny Shandy mention too! Enjoy!

"What are you doing?"

The lights were off, but the glow from the Christmas tree illuminated the living room and kitchen. The white lights sparkled happily, and chased way the shadows of the room. Rusty had been on his way to the kitchen for a drink when he spied legs sticking out from beneath the tree. His brows drew together, confused and a little mystified. When the feet stretched and the toes curled, his brows lifted. Why was she laying on the floor in the middle of the night? It was just… odd.

Emily Raydor rolled her head to one side. She gazed out from beneath the edge of the tree's bottom branches. A smile slowly curved her face. "Lights." She shrugged, as though that was the most obvious answer and then turned her gaze back to the sparkling glow overhead. Her feet stretched again. She crossed her legs at the ankles and rested her hands atop her stomach. The floor was smooth, hard and cool beneath her. Above her, the shifting twinkle of the lights was reflected in the ornaments that decorated the tree. Shining and glittering glass bulbs, and of course the angels. Always the angels. That was such an odd, but amusing quirk of her mother's.

"Why?" Rusty walked over, a little wary of her. He stopped nearby and gazed down. "You're laying on the floor. You know that, right?" It was just a Christmas tree, and it was pretty enough, but he was trying to understand the appeal.

Emily giggled quietly. "Didn't you ever do this?" She looked out at him again. "When you were a kid? Didn't you ever lay under the tree and watch the lights, dream of Christmas morning, and imagine the lights were stars that you could wish on?"

"Uh." Rusty shifted where he stood. His socked feet rubbed against the floor. His weight moved from one foot to the other. "No." He shrugged at her. "I never really had a tree before. Except here. I mean, my mom got one of those cheap ones once, the kind that went all different colors and stopped working after a day." He looked at the tree for a moment before looking down at her again. "You do this a lot?"

"Every year." Emily patted the floor beside her. "Come on. Try it. It's kind of fun." She watched him patiently, this new little brother of hers. He was kind of skittish around them, but she understood that after the way Ricky acted over the summer. He was nervous, but she could see that he was trying, very hard, to fit in with them. Like Ricky she questioned, at first, what this boy could possibly want from their mother. What could he gain from this adoption?

She knew her mother, though, and she trusted her. If her mom said that everything was okay then she chose to believe her. Emily kept her counsel to herself and decided to reserve judgement until she could look him in the eyes. It wasn't quite the same, talking over the phone or facetime. Since being home for the holiday, she spent a lot of time observing this boy. Her mother absolutely adored him, but the thing she learned pretty quickly was that it was a mutual situation. He wasn't after anything except what her mother was offering. Their mother now, she supposed. The adoption was final.

Emily smiled again. "Come on, little brother. You have to do this just once. It's a thing." She gave the floor another pat.

Rusty chewed on the inside of his cheek. His gaze swept over the length of the tree again. After another moment, he walked over and took a seat on the floor nearby. Slowly he lay down and then slid beneath the tree, so that his head and shoulders were laying beneath the curtain of the green, decorated limbs. "Okay," he said slowly. From this angle the lights did look a little different.

Emily giggled again. "Just wait." She lifted her gaze to the dancing Christmas lights again, but from the corner of her eye, she watched him too. "We used to do this when we were little, Ricky and I." Her lips curled with the memory. "Mom taught us."

Rusty's head rolled toward her. His eyes widened in surprise. "Sharon did?" He tried to imagine finding Sharon laying on the floor in the middle of the night, staring up at the Christmas tree, and couldn't quite picture it. "She's never…"

"No?" Emily hummed quietly at that. "When we were really little, we'd lay by the tree. We'd wish on the lights. Just us three." Even when her father was with them, it was something they did with their mother. There were other traditions they'd learned from him. "Mom would tell us stories about when she was little. As we got older, we'd just remember what it was like back then. Before things changed." Before her dad left.

"Oh." Rusty didn't know what to say. He looked up at the lights again. "It's kind of… pretty from this angle." He stretched his legs out and let his ankles cross. He didn't know what to think of her. Emily was a lot like her mom, but she was different too. She wasn't like Ricky, at least, not the way that he was over the summer. She seemed to accept the whole adoption idea better. Maybe because she was the oldest? She was used to having a younger sibling.

"It is, isn't it?" Emily grinned. "You don't know what to think of me." That tickled her to no end. People usually assumed she was the mini-Sharon. It was gratifying to meet someone who didn't immediately begin to equate her with the parts of her mother's personality that she had inherited. "I think that's probably okay. We'll learn."

Rusty felt himself relax. He glanced over at her. "You don't mind?" When she looked back at him, the sort of amused gleam in her eyes reminded him of Sharon. "About the whole adoption thing, or that it's kind of what finally made Sharon want to get divorced."

Her face softened. "No, Rusty, I don't mind." Emily smiled gently at him. "My parents have been working toward this whole divorce thing for a long time. I know my dad forced her hand because of the adoption, but this isn't something completely out of left field. I know that Ricky acted like a jerk about it, but he let dad get in his head. I have no illusions about the fact that my dad was a bad husband. He hasn't been that great of a father either." Emily shrugged, because really, they could have had worse. "What surprised me more was that it took mom so long. I could tell last year that she was attached. I thought she would have adopted you sooner."

"There was a lot going on last year." Rusty lifted his gaze again. He felt a chill go through him as he recalled the letters, and just how close both of them had come to Wade Weller killing them. The warmth from the tree settled him, though. It was an abstract feeling, one created by the glow the tree was giving off. She equated them to stars, but Rusty thought they looked more like tiny flickering candles. "What am I supposed to wish for?"

Emily turned her attention back to the tree. Her lips pursed for a moment. "Anything you want. It's about hope and dreams. When you watch them, you're supposed to think about what makes you happy. Then you wish for that." She slanted a look at him from the corner of her eye. "One year I wished for a dollhouse. I got Ricky instead. The lights don't always listen."

Rusty snorted. He started to laugh at her earnest tone. "Then I shouldn't wish for like, a pony or anything?" He smirked at her. "I don't want to know what Sharon would come home with."

Emily snickered. "Oh god. Could you imagine? She might even find a younger one." Her body shook with silent laughter. "Think about the look on Ricky's face…"

The way she snorted when she laughed, that was all Sharon. Rusty found himself laughing with her. "That might almost be worth it."

They were still giggling when they heard the key in the lock. Both of them grew silent, and their gazes were directed toward the far side of the apartment. The door opened slowly, light from outside filtered into the dark apartment. They could hear voices, but not what was being said. Rusty recognized the sound, however. He knew the familiar timber of the male voice. It didn't surprise him, Sharon spent a lot of time with Lieutenant Flynn outside of work. His brows climbed into his hairline, however, as the door opened wider and revealed them, standing just beyond the threshold.

While they watched, so obviously unseen, Sharon lay a hand against the Lieutenant's chest and rocked up onto the balls of her boot clad feet. She tipped her face toward his and their lips met. The kiss lingered, just for a few moments. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear when he drew away from her, and more was said that they couldn't hear. They were speaking too quietly. Sharon gripped his hand, and then she stepped backward, into the apartment.

He ducked away from her, a grin on his face and then the room was cast in darkness again when the door closed.

"Oh… momma…" Emily whispered. She poked his side. "Did you know?"

Rusty shook his head slowly. His mouth was hanging open. His eyes were glued to the sight of Sharon, leaning back against the door. There was a smile on her face. "Did you?" Rusty tore his gaze away when she pushed away from the door and found Emily looking just as dumbfounded as he was.

Emily shook her head. Then reached over and slapped her hand over his mouth when her mother pushed away from the door to hang up her jacket and deposit her keys and purse in the usual spot. She pressed a finger to her lips and they both held very still as she walked across the room. When she disappeared down the hall, Emily relaxed. "Mom said she had plans. She never mentioned a date."

"She told me she wasn't dating." Rusty blinked. "Um. I guess she changed her mind."

"Obviously." Emily smirked. Her lips pressed together. She started to giggle again. "So yeah, Rusty, that divorce, not about you."

"You don't say?" He snorted quietly. "So I guess we don't have to worry about her ever so lonely heart anymore…"

He barely managed to get it out before Emily dissolved into giggles. "Oh god. I can't wait to tell Ricky."

"Tell Ricky what?" Sharon lowered herself to the floor on Emily's other side. She lay back, and the sparkle of the tree lights enhanced the light, warm flush of her cheeks. She had gone to her room to slip out of her boots but had returned for a cup of tea. The giggling was rather conspicuous. She wasn't surprised to find Emily beneath the tree, but it was interesting to find Rusty there with her.

"About our darling mother locking lips with hot silver-haired-foxes." Emily smirked deviously at her. Beside her, Rusty snorted and slapped a hand against his face. "If you'd told us you had a date tonight, we could have vacated the premises, Mom. No reason to leave the smoldering smooches at the door."

Her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red. Sharon sighed. "Okay, you're point is made." She lifted her gaze to the tree. "Polite children would have made their presence known," she drawled, "instead of spying on things not meant for them to see."

"I don't want to think about it." Rusty said. "I mean, really. Ever. I'm good, thanks." He was silent for a moment before he lifted his head and gazed at her over Emily. "Lieutenant Provenza is going to have a cow."

"He'll get over it." Sharon arched a brow at him. "I thought you didn't want to think about it?"

"Right." Rusty lay his head back down. "This is me, totally not thinking about it."

"Oh, I'm thinking about it." Emily continued to smile at her mother. "So, when you told Ricky that you weren't lonely…"

She sighed. "Emily."

There was just enough warning in her tone to have the eldest of her children dropping the subject. "Okay. I'm letting it go. For now," she stressed with a pointed look. "At some point you and I need to talk about that."

"At some point," Sharon agreed. "Not right now." She shifted on the floor, getting more comfortable. A hand was draped across her stomach. "I'm surprised to find you both down here."

"Rusty thought I was losing my mind." Emily grinned. "I had to teach him. He's never done this before."

"Hm." Sharon hummed quietly. "It's been a long time." Too long since she had been with her children at Christmas, Rusty notwithstanding. She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. She let the glow and sparkle of the lights relax her while her mind turned toward similar nights, happy memories of much smaller children. All they were missing was Ricky.

As if sensing her thoughts, Emily wriggled from beneath the tree. "I'll be right back." She hurried down the hall on sock covered feet. The boys were camping out in Rusty's room, she had claimed the sofa. Rusty had offered her his room, he could take the air mattress in the living room. Emily wouldn't let him. There were two of them and only one of her. She was good on the sofa.

She poked her head into Rusty's room. Ricky had his head buried in a book. "Hey," she waved a hand to get his attention. "Mom's home. Lights."

Ricky looked puzzled for just a second. Not until she said the last word did he get her meaning. He closed the book and stood up. "Where's the spud?" He nodded his head toward Rusty's empty bed. He could only vaguely remember him leaving the room.

"With mom." Emily led the way back down the hall. "We're teaching him."

"He has a lot to learn," Ricky observed. Light gazing was only the tip of the ice berg. Wait until they went to Park City, or up the coast to his grandparents place. He had been insulated here in LA. There was a lot about being part of this family that the kid would have to figure out.

Once out in the living room, the two elder children claimed their places beneath the tree. Emily wriggled back under between her mother and Rusty, while Ricky lay down on their mother's other side. "How was your date?" When two heads lifted to stare at him, Ricky shrugged. "What? You didn't know?"

Emily huffed as she lay back down. "You are such a momma's boy. Of course you knew."

Sharon sighed. "Children."

"We're not discussing it," Rusty told him. "We really don't want to know."

"Got it." Ricky was smirking however. They'd grill her later, when she felt more like sharing. They knew better than to push. He slanted a look at his mother and couldn't quite let it go completely. "I'm guessing it went well. Your lipstick is still a little smudged."

While she groaned and covered her face, the other two began laughing again. Rusty got a kick out of watching Sharon blush. He watched the color spread to the roots of her hair and decided to take pity on her. "So, this whole, light thing. You do that every year?"

"When we're together." Sharon's face was still heated. She cleared her throat and sighed. Emily rolled toward her and she curled an arm around her girl. "It's been a while." Her fingers combed slowly, lazily through Emily's dark hair. "It started when Emily was a baby. She was just so mesmerized by the lights. We lay down beside it one night, and she got such a kick out of the way the lights blinked and danced. My sisters and I did it when we were just girls. That was always my favorite memory of the holidays, especially after we started leaving home. I wanted that for my kids too."

"After we left home to go to school," Ricky explained, "It was always the best part of coming home for Christmas. Well, aside from the actual presents."

Sharon rolled her eyes and swatted his leg. "You are a rotten, ungrateful brat," she teased.

"Yeah," Ricky smirked at her. "I'm your rotten, ungrateful brat." When her hand swept over his hair he made a face at her.

"You are at that." Sharon gripped his arm for a moment before her hand moved back to drape across her stomach. Neither of her boys liked being held or cuddled. She would satisfy that need with Emily. "It's a tradition, Rusty. It started a long time ago." Her head rolled and she gazed at him.

"That's what Emily said." He looked back at her and grinned. Then he shrugged. "It's not bad. Looks different down here." His gaze turned back to the tree. "The angels still look weird though."

When both of her elder children started laughing, Sharon rolled her eyes at all of them. "I dream of a place where poor, forgotten mothers are not made fun of by their children," she lamented playfully.

"You're weird," Emily told her. "But we still love you, Mom."

"I guess it is a little odd, but I like them." Sharon shrugged. "They make me happy."

Rusty decided he could accept that. As long as she was happy, well, what did he care? They were just christmas ornaments. It was still very amusing, though. "I like the blue ones," he said instead. "They kinda shimmer, you know, like snow."

Her head tilted and she watched them. Sharon hummed. "They do," she never thought of that before. "Those were a gift, actually." Her smile softened. "Jack brought them home, right after we found out that Ricky was going to be a boy." Odd, that she could come home from a date with one man but still remember another with fondness. She supposed it was only natural. Not all of those memories were bad ones, or even bittersweet. She glanced over at Rusty again and shrugged. "I was always partial to them too."

He gazed back at her. The way her smile shined back at him, Rusty was able to finally relax on the subject of her divorce. He got it now. She could think of the past, even as she was moving into the future. The way he could remember the good times with his mother, even when he didn't really want to talk to her right now. "Yeah. Emily said she wanted a dollhouse. She was really disappointed."

Sharon snorted quietly and began to laugh. "Yes, I think I remember that. The last thing she wanted was a brother."

"Thanks a lot Em." Ricky huffed playfully at her. Then he turned his head. "Mom, no matter what," he said seriously. "Whatever you do… I don't want a puppy this year."

Emily rolled onto her back, away from her mother as she giggled. "Oh god…Rick!" Now that their mother was dating again, that had just so much more meaning.

"Or a pony," Rusty drawled with a smirk. "I mean, really. It's okay. I'm good with socks."

"I don't need any new dollies." Emily snickered happily. She slanted a look at her mother and her back arched off the floor as she gave into the peels of laughter at the way her mother was hiding her face in her hand again.

"Thank you for pointing that out," Sharon stated carefully. Her voice shook, and after a moment she gave in and began laughing with them. "I'll be sure to let Andy know when he does his Christmas shopping. Socks all around."

"Well thank god," Ricky managed. "We're finally on the same wave length."

"Socks and coal for all of you." Sharon shook her head at them, but was laughing quietly. "Rotten children."

"Yeah." Rusty smirked at her. "But, I think you're stuck with us. I mean, we're sort of your rotten children."

She gazed back at him and her smile softened. "Yes you are." Sharon held his gaze a moment longer. When finally she looked away, it was to lift her eyes toward the sparkling lights above them. She watched the play and dance of the clear, white lights, and the way the ornaments and bulbs reflected it in different colors. The others grew silent as well, and when she glanced from the corner of each eye, she saw that they were also once again gazing at the tree.

Her eyes closed and as she drew a silent breath, she made her wish. More nights like this one, simple joys and quiet laughter, with all three of her children beside her.

~FIN