Disclaimer – I don't Saiyuki or any of its characters. All rights belong to its proper owner.
The Sun Doesn't Die As Easily
Chapter 1 – If Only
Sanzo's POV
I never wanted him dead. Never. Sure, I threatened to kill him, to tell him to shut up, to hit him with my harisen and all but I never meant it. And now, Son Goku is dead.
We were fighting youkai like usual. We thought it was over, until one of the youkai had a trick up their sleeves. Why didn't I pay attention?
Tentacles snuck up behind all of us, tripping us and wrapping us its tight grip. I was left the most vulnerable because I had the sutra and of course, every youkai wanted it.
My gun lay uselessly on the ground. The others struggled but couldn't get away. They were as trapped as me.
Everything became sluggish. The youkai was laughing its head off, threatening to kill me or demanding the sutra. As usual, I refused. The next second, it lost its patience and fired its tentacles towards me.
I thought it was all over. Or someone would come and save me. I didn't like the idea of someone saving me but the funny thing was that, the latter happened.
The very last thing I expected was that Goku was in front of me.
Somehow, he got free from the tentacles and shielded me from the blow. His arms were outspread, attempting to protect me from any hit that came our way. His wish came true.
All the tentacles shot right through him, leaving me harmless. He saved me but that was the worst part about it.
I lived. He died.
Normally, Hakkai would have been able to save Goku as he saved me countless of times I was on the verge of death. Laughing when we were screaming, the youkai threw Goku over the edge of the mountain.
My hand grabbed air when I tried to grab Goku when he flew past me. I missed.
Rage consumed me. How dare that worthless piece of a monster throw my loyal companion like a rag doll?!
I broke through the tentacles and grabbed my gun. I fired every single shot I had left in my gun. At the same time, Gojyo and Hakkai broke free and blasted and hacked the youkai to bits.
Though we had our revenge, it was too late. We ran down the mountain to find Goku. We found him, shattered and broken by the rocks that laid beneath him.
Not knowing what else to do, I held the saru close to me. Hakkai desperately tried to heal him, putting every ounce of his strength. Gojyo was shouting at him to stay conscious.
Goku was smiling. That was the last thing he ever did. Then he was gone.
It was raining. The rain mingled with our tears. I always hated the rain. Now, I had more reason to hate the rain. How could the sky be so cruel? It was raining when I lost my master and father. Now, it rained when I lost my closest friend.
We buried him near a sakura tree not too far from where he died. I clutched his diadem like there's no tomorrow. It was the only reminder I had of him. Goku looked so peaceful. Almost like he was sleeping.
The pain ripped at my heart when the villagers asked us where was the kind, little boy who liked to eat. Their pity and empathy was insufferable. It was only a few days ago when we arrived in the village, happy and lively. We left, miserable and dead.
Gojyo and I didn't smoke for weeks. Goku always asked us why we smoke and when we're going to quit. Heh, he still annoys us.
It's been a while since I used my harisen. Gojyo was quiet since no one argues with him now, with the exception of me. Hakkai seems to have lost his motherly manner towards us. He looks too much like an empty shell like the rest of us.
Everything reminds me of Goku. The meat buns we see in restaurants. The monkeys that sometimes hang on trees. Annoying kids that whine and bug their parents for food. But most of all, the sun reminded me of him.
Goku always called me his sun. I wanted to tell him it was the other way around. He was my sun. The bright, warm beam of light that melted my cold heart. He taught me to smile and to love the little things in life.
Did that baka knew what we were going through? Did he know that I keep seeing him in my nightmares? When was the last time Hakkai smiled? Who is Gojyo going to fight with over food? When was the last time we laughed together?
I missed the goofy smile of his, as much as I hate to admit it. It chased away the storms. His laughter and constant whining irritates us but we enjoy it. It brought smiles to our face. We could use a smile right now.
If only I paid attention …
If only no youkai attacked us …
If only I was a few seconds faster …
If only that youkai didn't get me …
If only I had my gun …
If only I grabbed Goku before he fell …
If only more time was given to us …
If only there weren't any rocks at the bottom …
If only Hakkai could heal him …
If only no rain had fell …
If only I protected him …
If only …
If only …
If only …
If only Goku didn't die …