Disclaimer: All characters and intellectual property of Ranma 1/2 and Urusei Yatsura belong to Rumiko Takahashi, and I am NOT making a profit off of this.
Tomoboki was relatively peaceful this day. A gentle breeze swept through the streets as the sun cast gentle, warming rays down unto the Earth. Yes, it was rather serene. A distinct lack of chaos, one could say, was absent. It was almost palpable, this elegy of emptiness.
All was right; that is, if one wasn't part of this humble community.
No. Those who reside here knew that it was only a matter of time, and if that time took too long to come then the resulting chaos would escalate until critical levels reached.
Why, one may ask, would someone fear something from this neighborhood? Isn't it an average community? Ha, it is to laugh. For this neighborhood, this small section of Japan had one thing that would spread terror into the hearts of all women.
Ataru Moroboshi.
Ataru Moroboshi is a young man, roughly seventeen years of age, and entirely unremarkable. Yet that is part of what makes him so unique: a small part, but a part nonetheless. He would be considered average considering his brown hair, eyes, and rather average height, but it was his actions that make him special. He is a skirt-chaser, a pervert, and the town loser. He is shameless, but he has qualities that are usually lost on the casual observer.
He is determined, which is more often than not seen in his plentiful girl hunting expeditions. Not that he really needed to, for there were more than enough beautiful women who he sees almost daily to their misgivings.
Which was awkward when considering the appearance of Lum, an alien from planet Uru, who practically landed directly in his lap. Of course the beginning was never so simple. Lum's father, for means unknown, invaded Earth. In lieu of an immediate military response from the Oni, Earth's fate would be decided through a game of tag. The aliens randomly chose Earth's contender, and therefore the fate of humanity came to rest on Ataru's shoulders.
Ataru's judgment was severely hindered upon sight of the luscious and scantily clad Lum, who was dressed in a tiger stripe top and bottom with matching knee-high footwear. She also sported elongated fangs, evident in her smirk, and two small horns atop her head, which were surrounded by a sea of long aquamarine hair.
He was also notably surprised to discover, after the race had already begun, that the beautiful alien could fly. Outmatched in all practical areas Ataru fell back on his most promising abilities.
Groping. In an attempt to grab Lum Ataru had lunged and took hold. His left hand, intentionally or not, had taken hold of Lum's breast, which he was then able to pry her top off. Lum, in embarrassment and rage, flew off to her shuttle forgetting about her stolen clothing.
Ataru, in a way that only Ataru could and with the declaration of marriage from Shinobu Miyake upon his success, used the top to his advantage, and managed to trick Lum into his range where he had finally grabbed the small horns atop Lum's head. Yelling in joy over his victory he vaguely threw out the word marriage, upon which Lum misinterpreted and declared her acceptance of their, Lum and Ataru's, marriage.
That is merely the beginning of a long line of random and chaotic events. Soon, however, the area of Tomobiki-cho would be witness to improbable events that would boggle the mind.
Some would only view these events a commonplace, though; a casual acceptance of one's chaotic life and the consequences that follow it.
An old Chinese proverb said, "May you live in interesting times."
It was going to be one wild ride.
One person walked the empty streets of Tomobiki-cho this afternoon. He was tall, but not overly so, and quite unique. It's not everyday that someone wore unique clothing, in other words Chinese silks, while carrying a large pack through a residential area. He walked with a grace rarely seen, and an ease, which told of hidden strength. Not that anyone was there to see it, but if they were it would have been an unusual sight.
This individual is Ranma Saotome: a man of confidence, intrigue, and martial arts prowess. He bowed to no one, and made sure that, if there were any doubt, he would always be the best.
"What am I gonna' do now?"
He was also quite lost. Not like Ryouga, only he could be that hopeless, but like that of a man with no clue about what to do with his life.
"S'not like I can go back. Not with the way I up and left 'em."
Ranma was clearly upset over whatever the past events had wrought.
"Don't care no more. It's in the past."
True. Ranma had been traveling for little over three weeks. That should have been enough time to make them think he'd gone off to China to try and find a cure. The whole gang would be there in no time flat, but Nabs would be a problem. Someone was bound to pay her if she didn't take his disappearance as a challenge. Kami-sama, could that woman track.
It's also why he chose to come here. Tomobiki-cho was close but far enough to send people off his trail. Besides, this place had its own weirdness running around, or so he had heard. Some alien invasion crap and crazy, perverted kids. Not very different from Nerima, actually. If he was caught in the crossfire he could always claim to be an alien. It's not like those things really exist, though. Right?
Well, Ranma would find out in due time. But for now he had to find a place to stop. Camping out was fine for him. He had been doing it most of his life, really. All he really needed was an empty lot to stop in before he could find a job. If things went smoothly he might even be able pay for room and board!
So caught up in his thoughts Ranma utterly failed to notice the truck that was moving down the perpendicular alley. Why the truck was there, and why it was moving in that particular direction is a mystery. But the following events could be seen from a mile away.
Ranma's finely honed danger senses failed to go off as he made a right into the next alley. He turned, in a last ditch effort to understand his situation, just in time to see the grill of the truck as it smashed into him and, consequently, sent him flying.
Ha! Like a truck could hurt Ranma Saotome. Poor misguided fools. He was helpless though, being in midair and all. Oh well, can't have everything.
He also failed to notice the rain that seemingly followed the truck…
Walking along another street farther away from the moving truck was Ataru Moroboshi, the town lecher. Strangely absent was Lum, his alien fiancé, who usually kept careful watch over Ataru despite her lack of success in her efforts to prevent his skirt chasing.
He was walking home from school, and was almost there too, when he heard the most damning whistling. It wasn't the usual type of whistling where someone would toss out some well-known melody. No, this was the type of whistling that was associated with objects such as missiles, or bombs, or aliens dropping out of the sky to deliver divine retribution, or…
Shoooooo…, Wham!
With all the grace of a falling anvil the human missile plunged into concrete leaving a small, almost human shaped, crater in the street.
The truck that caused this incident also passed by, but went unnoticed by Ataru as he stared intently at the newly formed crater. The rain, which most certainly would have caught his attention if not for the fact that a very feminine hand reached out of the hole to pull up the rest of its body.
Do the following events need explanation? Probably not, but what the hell.
Giving himself up to instinct Ataru lunged upon seeing a curvaceous redhead struggle out of the manmade hole. Foregoing an outright glomp, Ataru aided the young woman by pulling her out.
Ranma, as he was most of the time, was confused. He would usually get a lot more distance from a speeding truck, if constant malletings could be used to judge. He also, somehow, turned into a girl, which only registered when she felt unwelcome hands wander over very unwelcome parts of her body.
"Gyahh! Don't touch me!" Wham Ataru was flung a short distance courtesy of the Ranma Express, which consisted of a slightly pulled right hook and his jaw. It was to Ranma's exceptional surprise that the lecher shook off the blow and teleported besides her.
Honestly, what was Ataru supposed to do when he saw the drop dead gorgeous redhead heaving slightly, while wearing a sopping wet Chinese silk shirt that pronounced her features very clearly, while looking slightly flustered?
Right. Don't answer that.
Putting some restraint on his lust, not that he had much in the first place, Ataru tried to get the attention of the mysterious redhead.
She paid him no mind, outwardly anyway, as she dug around in the crater. Finding what she wanted she pulled, revealing her slightly worn backpack.
Finding an opening Ataru made a grab for the pack, which surprised Ranma slightly.
"Here miss. Let me help you with that!" Ataru said enthusiastically, a little too much for Ranma's tastes.
Ranma needn't have worried, not that he had in the first place, as he witnessed Ataru lift the pack for an entirety of three seconds before dropping the heavy object on his foot. Hopping and cursing ensued.
All in all, it was a classic greeting that one Ranma Saotome usually went through.
After his hopping subsided, Ataru turned to his reluctant companion and attempted not to drool. His primary objectives completed, those being the grope and lunge, he moved onto his secondary list of operations. In other words…
"Hey, hey, hey…what's your address? Phone number?"
Ranma watched the hopeful idiot with a wry smile. He honestly thought he would have a chance. Not that Ranma was that way. Oh no. Hammering a nail into his eye would be more preferable to him than that. It was just the principle of the thing.
"Don't got any. Nice try, though." It was amusing, if a little pathetic, to see the teens face not change in the slightest.
"Okay then, how about tea?"
"Damn, he's not giving up," thought Ranma. So he thought of all the reasons why he shouldn't pound this guy's face in. Outside of the obvious of him being a lecher and an idiot, and the fact that Ranma most definitely did not swing that way, he really couldn't find any. Besides, he could get some food, and he really didn't have any money…
The Saotome stomach chose that moment to speak up.
"Well, what do I got to lose?" Ranma muttered to herself.
"Whoohoo!"
Oh yeah, that's what he had to lose. His dignity.
With a sigh Ranma picked herself off and reluctantly followed.
Ranma found herself inside a cozy little teashop not too far away from where she had agreed to the offer of tea from the overenthusiastic teen she had met once she was freed from the self-made crater. The inside was a bright, western style, setting with comforting pale yellow walls and a tiled floor. Elaborate weaves were present among the chairs and tables, giving off the impression of class despite the restaurants more humble nature.
It was actually a break from the slightly more strenuous trip to the place. For some reason the less populated street had filled considerably when they had walked through it. The people were really weird too, and kept staring at her muttering, "How did Ataru do it?" or, "He's going to get it, later." It was like she was standing in the middle of a huge spotlight, and she had forgotten her lines.
Ataru was oblivious, and remained so, as they walked to the café.
They were seated near the center of the sparsely populated café at a small circular table. They quickly ordered their tea and Ataru, never missing a beat, attempted conversation.
"What's your name, and what's with the pack?"
Ranma had to wonder if this was really worth it. Her stomach's growl promptly answered the unspoken question. Better take some liberties, though.
"…Ranko." Ranma answered after a short pause. No use in giving the guy her real name. "And I'm traveling."
"Ah, life on the road. What a cruel fate for one of your beauty!"
"Is this guy serious?" Ranma thought. Then he remembered a certain deranged kendoist. Ranma felt a small amount of dread at the thought.
Ranma's attention was brought back by Ataru's hand being waved in her face. Obviously she was more out of it than she had originally thought, for their tea and side dishes were already there.
"Uh, sorry 'bout that. Memories, y'know?" It was obvious that it was not a question that was going to be answered, but more of an appeasement for her lapse in attention.
"No prob! I'm Ataru, and welcome to Tomobiki-cho!" He was grinning like an idiot, which was appropriate from what Ranma had gathered from him, and was practically bouncing in his seat.
Ranma kept glancing around, as if she were uneasy. Her hair was starting to stand on end, just ever so slightly, and klaxons were beginning to sound in her head, telling her to get the hell out of there. She couldn't see any danger, but then again she didn't see that truck either.
She was about to shovel the food and tea down her throat and leave, saying she was in a hurry, but the chime of the café door opening stopped her short. There she spotted a very beautiful young woman wearing a very revealing tiger striped bikini. She, of course, missed the small horns and fangs, but for good reason. The lightning arcing around her body was very distracting. As it was she just barely noticed the man in front subtly point in their direction.
"Uh, not that I like to be a killjoy or nutthin, but do you know a girl with greenish hair, blue eyes, wears a tiger striped bikini, and…uh…floats?"
Ataru looked slightly taken aback, but responded with an unsure, "yes".
"How did you know?"
Ranma nodded to herself and crossed her arms. "You might want to turn around."
And Ataru did. Right into Lum, in fact.
"Darling," she said it oh so sweetly, so much that it was almost disarming, but her smile readily destroyed the thought. "What-cha doing?"
The lightning was a pretty good effect, Ranma decided.
"Uh, I'm showing her around?" He sounded unsure of himself when he replied.
Wrong answer.
Lum tackled him and let her lightning loose. The resulting brawl had quite a few consequences that the casual observer would rather not think about.
First, Lum's initial lunge knocked Ataru into the table, which the tea was deposited on. Secondly, Ranma was caught by surprise when he discovered that the lightning wasn't just an effect, but the real thing, and therefore did not realize that a cup of tea was coming at him until it was far too late to act. Thirdly, the tea hit her.
Now it should be said that Ranma expected this to happen; he really did. It's just that he couldn't do anything about it, and he hated the fact that, no matter how good his day may be going, something was going to come by and ruin it. Though he was amused by their reactions. That was always fun.
Lum was the first to notice mainly because she was facing his direction. The puzzled and curious expression seemed to suit her best, as it was her nature. Her wide eyes blinked furiously as she looked at the sopping wet martial artist.
"How'd-cha do that?"
Ranma knew he couldn't lie to save his life, so he didn't waste any time trying. Besides, they'd find out sooner or later, anyway.
"It's a curse. Cold water turns me into a girl, and hot water to boy."
Her blinking slowed, but she still looked confused. "So, what are you?"
It was funny, now that he thought about it. No one had ever asked him that question before. "A boy."
"Ah," was her succulent reply. "And you were with Darling…why?"
"Eh. I just did it for the food."
Her mouth formed in an undoubtedly cute 'o', as Ataru came back to the land of the living.
"So who the hell are you, anyway?" Ataru had heard Lum's questions and the stranger's answers. Just because he was catatonic didn't mean he was inept. He wasn't happy that the cute redhead was really a guy, either. Not that he had entirely believed it; he still needed visual proof that the transformation actually happened after all.
The pigtailed martial artist sighed and brought a hand to the base of his neck, scratching it.
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this."
Dead. Silence.
"What!" Cried one of the café's customers. "The Ranma Saotome? Ranma Saotome of the Masubetsu Kakuto-ryu? Ranma Saotome, the sole reason for the bargain property costs in Nerima? That Ranma Saotome?"
Groan "Looks like I gained a reputation when I wasn't lookin'," he mumbled. "Yeah, guess so."
Suddenly the café became more crowded.
The cooks cried. They thought he was only an urban legend! They thought it was a joke their competitors told them. Seriously, a kid that could clean out an all you can eat buffet, then destroy it afterwards in a fit of chaos?
The girls swooned. They were in the presence of a martial arts god! Just look at those muscles!
Ranma was in hell. He knew that what he did was a little bit out of the ordinary, but he didn't think things would be like this! He needed to get out of here now.
Spotting an opening, Ranma quickly stood up, picked up his pack, thanked Ataru for the food, and jumped out the window.
Spectators shied away from the shattered glass and the figure that plowed straight through it as it made its way to the rooftops.
It was on their way home when Lum and Ataru next met the sex-changing martial artist. He was in an empty lot setting up camp. He already had his tent set up, and was preparing a fire. It had the makings of a cold night, the air being refreshingly cool from the earlier rain.
They walked up to him, and he waved a greeting.
"Hey, sorry 'bout bailing out on you guys before." Ranma sheepishly apologized. It wasn't like it was really his fault, but it was in a roundabout sort of way.
"It's not a problem," Ataru replied.
"So what-cha doing out here." Lum was slightly confused. The only other person she had seen camp out in an empty lot before was Cherry, and she had no clue why Ranma would want to camp outside.
"Settin' up camp. I don't have a place to stay, I just got in town, ya know. Doubt anybody would want to put up with me anyway, seeing how word about me spread this far…"
Hearing that, Lum pulled Ataru aside. "Darling," she began, "why not invite him in?"
"Why? We barely know the guy, and he really hasn't done anything other than cheat me out of a few yen."
"You would have wasted the money on some other girl anyway."
"So?"
"Please?"
Damn it, she was using that look. The terrible puppy-dog eyes, the technique straight from the depths of Hell itself. Oh, the horror. "Fine."
He turned back to Ranma, who was now pulling out some rations from his pack.
"Hey Ranma," he called, "You want to stop by our place for a bit."
Startled by the request Ranma dropped the food packets and looked up at Ataru. "You sure ya wanna put up with me? I mean," he fumbled, "I attract all sorts of weird, and stuff…" Inwardly he was delighted. It usually took ages for him to find actual friends, and it looked like these people wanted to give it a try.
"Why not," Ataru replied. "It's not like this place can get any weirder, right?"
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The inside of the Moroboshi household was rather cozy, despite the small size. Ataru and Lum led Ranma up the stairs to their room, or so Ranma surmised. Not that there were many places in the house to guide him through in the first place.
They entered the room on the right, and Ranma found himself in a spacious room occupied by a desk and kotatsu, and a…Twitch
Ranma froze up just outside of the door, staring fixedly on the large black and white spotted cat sitting at the kotatsu.
The others watched with some small amount of fascination, and fear, as Ranma twitched and shuddered, his eyes glazing over as his mind receded to its darkest edges.
"Hey Ranma, you okay?" Ataru, ever the brave soul, sacrificed himself as a conversation starter in vain hopes of bringing Ranma back to reality.
"C, ca-…"
"Uh, cat? Ranma?" Lum became more concerned as their guest's twitching upped in frequency from the mention of that word.
Ranma's mind worked in speeds beyond overdrive at the moment, hoping to reign in his intense phobia before he could cause any damage to his host's home. It was all he could do really since his motor functions locked up on sight of the massive ca-…feline. He lost whatever battle he had begun when the demon stood up and took a handful of steps toward him.
When it stopped directly in front of him and waved a hand in his face, Ranma did the only logical thing given the circumstances.
He fainted.
Ranma Saotome, self-proclaimed best martial artist, had dropped like a sack of potatoes in the middle of the hallway. He was lucky that he had fainted because the sole reason for his predicament hauled him up to its shoulder and lugged his dead weight into the room.
Those who remained conscious collectively wondered what the hell was going on, with minor differences of course.
"Things are going to be a lot more interesting around here with him around."
"You've got that right." A playful, saccharine sweet voice replied.
The remaining occupants whirled towards the window where the voice had come from. What they saw left Ataru momentarily frozen, and Lum confused.
There, in the window, stood a beautiful woman who very much resembled Lum. If it weren't for her eyes, those oh so very crimson eyes, then she could have been passed off as Lum's twin. Aquamarine hair flowed like waves down to her lower back, the top of her head adorned by two small horns, and she sported fangs that were quite clearly seen from her smile. She wore a tiger striped bikini top much like Lum's, but had foregone the bottom for a pair of matching pants.
Her smile widened as she gazed upon the other, startled, Oni.
"It's been a long time, Sister."
Authors Note:
Hello everybody! This is my first fanfiction if you can't tell. I wanted to give Ranma 1/2 Urusei Yatsura crossover a try.
For those of you who have read and/or reviewed the original prologue, then this one probably looked very different. My excuses are listed in my profile, so I'm not going to bother listing them here. The original was just filled with plot holes and it was spiraling very far away from what I wanted out of it. I am much happier with this rendition, and I hope all of you are too.
Thank you to all of you who have reviewed.
Any questions or comments are greatly appreciated, and please send them to me via email (in my profile). I would also appreciate it if/when someone who leaves an anonymous reply that they give me some way to contact them. It would be easier on me to understand what it is someone did not like, and that is harder when the reply itself is not as descriptive as it could be. Thank you.
If you liked the story thus far I might be able to get a larger update out sometime in December.