Author's note: Okay, here's the thing. I'm doing math, right? And all the word problems are marked by numbers. So then, I think, like, dude, that'd be funny if word problem number 86 had Fanny in it counting her Rainbow Monkeys or something. Or if number 362 has Rachel in it wondering how long it's been since Nigel had left or whatever. So, just to get this clear, I WAS BORED. End of story.
I don't own KND, and I didn't invent word problems. To whoever who invented word problems, get a life.
Codename: Kids Next Door: Math
Question 1: Nigel has been away from earth for two more years than Abby has turned twelve since the last season of Codename: Kids Next Door but before OPERATION: I.N.T.E.R.V.E.I.W.S. because in that she is an adult. How many years has Nigel been away from his home?
a) What the heck?
b) Um…let's see…carry the 27…I think, at least…
c) Who are we talking about again?
d) Two, I think. Or maybe…four? Dang it…I've got it! No…
Question 2: Hoagie is trying to invent something that will let Abby listen to her beloved mp3 player without burning up the battery too fast. He's spent five more hours on it a day than Kuki spends with her Rainbow Monkeys a day. Kuki spends twice as many hours with her Rainbow Monkeys than Wally spends blowing stuff up. Wally spends two hours a day blowing stuff up. How many hours has Hoagie worked on his invention?
a) No way! He spends five more hours than Kuki with her Rainbow Monkeys? Now that's real dedication!
b) What a geek.
c) Wally really should go see a counselor…
d) Hoagie has worked nine hours on his invention. Duh. Or it might be ten. Or eleven, I dunno, one of 'em…
Question 3: Kuki, on a scale of one to ten, likes her Rainbow Monkeys two-point-five more than is relatively possible. On a scale of one to ten, how much does she like Rainbow Monkeys?
a) If it's more than possible, how can she like Rainbow Monkeys that much?
b) Rainbow Monkeys are ugly stuffed pillows with brand names and evil fixed smiles.
c) Rainbow monkeys, rainbow monkeys, oh, so very round and super chunky, bringing love wherever they go, everyone's made of a big rainbow!
d) Me gives up. It's like, impossible. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like, make something up?
Question 4: Wally has more than a million fangirls in the world. Are you one of them?
a) What type of cruddy MATH question is this?
b) Who wouldn't be a fangirl? –stares off into space dreamily-
c) Ummm…I'm a dude. That'd be…well, like…sorta sick.
d) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! NUMBUH FOUR PWNS!!
Question 5: Abby's mp3 player has two gigabytes of space on it. If a song takes up approximately five megabytes on her mp3 player, how many songs can she hold, at most?
a) Well, if I were her, I wouldn't hold just songs…maybe a movie or two…and a podcast, at the least…
b) It depends on what songs are on there. Hello? Do you know how much space Reliant K songs take up? –shakes head-
c) Umm…Abby doesn't listen to Reliant K…
d) I give up. How many megabytes are in a gigabyte? Why won't you tell us? Just because you're some computer geek with no life doesn't mean we all are.
Question 6: R.O.B.O.B.R.A.D.L.E.Y. can beat up any teenager. Do you think he could beat you?
a) Isn't this supposed to be a math question? This is just like that weird fangirl question!
b) No. He's a skunk, for cryin' out loud!
c) I'm not a teenager yet. I'm part of the Kids Next Door organization! I'm a future generation of Codename: Kids Next Door. I'm Sonya and Lee's granddaughter! (A/N: Sorry, random. Just thought it'd be weird…)
d) Well, if he beat Cree…
Well, since I'm lazy, and I'm working on like twenty more fanfictions not even posted yet, that's all I'm writing. Review, or I'll whack you with Abby's hat. And that thing has a heft to it. Just ask Hoagie.