Cyanide Kiss

Chapter One

Shuuichi's POV:

Thunder echoed through the landscape, lightning flashed through the sky—that full, empty space surrounding our heads above.

I think you were trying to make me forget—today was our anniversary and you failed to do anything special. You were too tired from finishing your latest novel; You know one thing about that….'novel' means something 'new' 'unique', but I've read all of your novels and—they all fall into that same routine, the same overused plot—nothing's unique about them.

Bet you wouldn't like hearing that from me—shit, you'd just dismiss it, scoff at my amateur opinion. You'd scoff, while I—while I must take your opinions to heart and accept them like the words of a god.

But—I'm to blame for that, aren't I? I view you as a god, I adore you, and I worship you, despite your shortcomings. Wait—do you even have shortcomings? And do I know what they are?

You're constantly raining abuse down on me, constantly kicking me out of the apartment, constantly…just being yourself. Sure I make that excuse for you, but I deserve some respect from you. I've stood by you all these years, haven't I? Okay, well, it's only been two years, but still…I still deserve some credit. How many of your other lovers stood by you that long? None, I'm the only one.

I'm the only one you couldn't get rid of.

I stood by you, yet you couldn't give even a card on our anniversary, that's all I wanted—or perhaps a simple 'I love you.' (That I know is impossible, you haven't said it in all the time I've been your lover.) Yet, you didn't do anything….not a single thing—you spent the whole day in bed, not moving once except to push me out when I tried to snuggle.

I knew you didn't forget. How could you when everyone was making a big deal about it for the past week? You knew and all you did was sleep in.

But I don't hate you. I can't hate you when I love you this much. I see you as God. Perhaps that's the problem….

The thunder roared again, but this time you were gone. You left the room while I gazed at the sky in thought. You assumed I was okay, that an anniversary didn't matter. And I suppose it didn't, it's just icing on the cake.

I've been planning this for months now, thinking about it on and off. Whether I should do it or not. And you know what? It doesn't scare me anymore. It's become an obsession with me, a treasured possession that gives me peace. There is a way out of this, it says, there's a way to end it all.

And you know what? I think I will.

I've already slipped the pill into your beer can. All I have to wait for is you to drink it.

My heart thumped wildly when I heard the thud from the room down the hall, from the kitchen—my whole instinct told me to run to it, to see what happened. But I already knew. You drank it. Drank the beer and the pill.

I knew what to do, knew it as I crept slowly down the hall, toward the kitchen. Knew what to do as I peeked through the doorway, eyeing you lying sprawled out on the floor. Everything worked out as I planned, now all I have to do is….

Shit…someone rung the doorbell. I panicked and ran from the room, back to the bedroom, and hid under the covers. I prayed whoever it was would go away; I didn't want to be found out—not yet.

The ringing persisted, and then I heard the door knob turning—shit, why didn't I lock the door?

Trembling, I threw the covers off of me and rushed to shut and lock the bedroom door. It's too late to keep them from finding out. Too late, too late.

I dropped to my knees by the bed and reached under it—a box hidden underneath it I pulled out and brought to my side. Opening it, I eyed the pistol laid carefully within, and I picked it up. Breathing out slowly, I heard a shout from the hallway, whoever it was must have found you.

It was now or never….I placed my finger at the trigger and placed the gun to my temple.

A/N: End chapter, please review. Should I continue this story?