Hiya, this is broken into gaps of time. It follows most of the show's canon but diverges from the comics. This one goes out to my trash pal Alice.
All mistakes here are mine.
Disclaimer: I don't own a:tla, and that's probably a good thing.
i. (the time it was innocent)
92 AG; Summer
Azula is pacing around the courtyard, and Ty lee doesn't ever think she's ever actually seen Azula nervous before. Azula is always so sure of herself, confident with no reason not to be.
"She's not nervous," Mai says; quiet enough so that Azula can't hear. "She's calculating."
Ty lee sucks in her left cheek and flips upward so that she can see Azula upright, all of the blood rushes down making her dizzy, but for only a few seconds.
Mai is right; Azula doesn't look nervous. She just happens to be pacing while doing her thinking face. Her lips are scrunched together as is her nose, and Ty lee can't help but think it's cute. Anyone would find it cute, though (except Azula). Mai probably thinks it's cute too. "What's she gonna do?"
Mai shrugs. "Something elaborate."
"When is it?"
"A few hours, I think."
An advisor walks in the garden, looks at Azula and nods. And Azula looks at Ty lee and Mai. It's their cue to leave soon. No distractions prior.
Mai sighs and stands up, brushing the grass off of her clothes. Ty lee knows she needs to be home soon anyways, but can't help but, well, want to help. The thing is; her help isn't really useful with this kinda stuff.
Azula is performing in front of fire lord later soon and will be perfect, but sometimes knowing you're perfect isn't enough.
Ty lee walks up to Azula, her arms swinging and a smile on her face. "Good luck, princess," Ty lee says.
"I don't need luck."
Ty lee nods. "Of course, but—" Ty lee chews on her lip.
Every other week Ty lee visits her grandfather with her sisters and mother – her father doesn't bother coming, usually. Grandfather favors her; sometimes teaches her chi blocking – he only teaches it to her, and when Ty lee asked why that was he said it was because she was special. Ty lee still doesn't understand what makes her special in comparison to her sisters, but the words make her feel happy.
When they leave Grandfather's house, he hugs all seven of them, but Ty lee is the only one he pats on the head after the hug. Just a quick stroke that messes up her hair, followed by a small smile and crinkling eyes.
Ty lee doesn't think that Azula would like being patted on the head, though. But one time when her oldest sister had a test she was nervous about, Mother kissed her on the cheek and said she'd do great.
And now, for some reason, Ty lee wants nothing more than to kiss Azula. Azula stares at Ty lee, golden eyes narrowed, waiting for her to finish a sentence that was never meant to end.
Ty lee swallows before leaning in and giving Azula a quick peck on the cheek. "You're special," she says, mimicking her grandfather's words. Azula's eyes widen. "You'll do great, princess."
With that, Ty lee walks away. She touches her lips with two fingers and wonders if kisses always feel this warm.
#
ii. (the time it was goodbye)
97 AG; Spring
Ty lee is leaving. And Azula feels like she's going to be sick. Like she's accidentally consumed poison or has been hit too hard in the stomach. It's unpleasant, so Azula avoids her for the next few days before she leaves.
"She's not going to be that far away," Mai says, eyes closed and facing the sky as she lay on her back. It's just them because Ty lee is packing, getting ready to leave, to join the circus of all damnable places.
"I don't care if she leaves," Azula says, rolling her eyes. She adjusts her form. "I'm sure she'll have a great time being a circus freak."
Mai sighs. "Whatever."
"I mean it's not like," Azula punches forward and flames fly from her fists, "she's going to accomplish anything," she hits again, "here." Breathe. "If she wants to," kick, "waste her life and," jump, fire, kick, "trail off to some," land, punch, fire, "peasant circus," she breathes. "That's her problem."
Mai breathes out a laugh, and then brings her head up to face Azula. "Maybe she'll find someone just as annoyingly optimistic as her."
Azula's nostrils flare and a small stream of fire blows out. She glares at Mai, unable to say anything momentarily, and Mai laughs even harder until Azula chucks a stream of fire her way.
Mai dodges with ease.
"What's going on?" Azula turns to see Ty lee. Her eyes squint as she smiles.
"Why do you care? Don't you have a circus to be at or something?" Azula says flippantly. Ty lee's smile fades.
"Well, I wanted to say goodbye…I'm leaving once the sun goes down."
"Well it's going down now, guess you should be on your way."
Mai looks up, then gets to her feet. "I uh…should be going." She walks up to Ty lee, and Azula pointedly ignores their goodbyes. Fire, kick, jump kick, fire, punch, kick, tap on the shoulder. Azula could spin around and resume with Ty lee in her way. That's what she should do.
"I have to go soon," Ty lee says. Her hands are folded together and she rocks from side to side looking at the charred grass around Azula.
"I'm aware." Azula does not look at her, instead focusing on the plant behind her. Her stomach hurts, a tight pain coiled in her lower belly. She practices breathing every damn day, but for some reason, she can't do it now.
"I know you're upset that I'm leaving and don't get why I have to, but—" Ty lee sighs, looks up at Azula. "I hope you come to a show one day, write me letters, maybe."
Azula thinks about saying doubtful. She does not.
"I'll miss you, princess," Ty lee says and her voice is so very, very small. There is a brief moment where Azula asks her to stay. Azula has never asked anyone to stay and wonders if it would work.
"This is all very touching," Azula says and at some point her eyes meet Ty lee's. "But I need to get back to training and you clearly have to go so—" and then Ty lee is pressing her lips against Azula's.
Azula keeps her eyes open and her cheeks burn and she just stares for a moment. She feels like everything has stopped. Like birds in the sky are frozen right now and there is only this moment. The warm press of lips, the sun going down, the burning of bodies.
Ty lee jerks back, face red.
"Goodbye, princess." She walks away and away and away.
"Goodbye Ty lee," Azula whispers long after Ty lee is gone, her feet still planted on the ground.
#
iii. (the time it was pretending)
100 AG; Summer
Azula and Ty lee walk side by side on the beach, and Azula can't help but notice the way Ty lee brushes her hand up against Azula's every few seconds. It feels nice, but she places her hand on her stomach so it won't happen again.
"So things didn't work out too well with Chan?" Ty lee asks. Obvious question.
"Considering we just demolished his house, Ty lee, no."
Ty lee shrugs. "He wasn't that cute anyways."
"He was a peasant."
"And you're a princess and can do much better," Ty lee adds, smiling. Azula's lips twitch at that, just a little bit. Not enough to be noticeable.
Azula looks at her feet, watches them push through the sand. She vaguely thinks that she wouldn't mind being an earth bender if fire weren't an option. The earth is nice and coarse against her skin. "What about you and your ten boyfriends?"
Ty lee giggles. "Oh, them? They're nothing."
Azula doesn't reply. The waves sound nice. She hates water benders, but their element is pretty. Relaxing.
"Ty lee?" Azula asks, after a moment. There is a question burning on the tip of her tongue, but it's uncomfortable and foreign, unlike fire. "How many people have you kissed?"
Ty lee stops, looks up and—Oh, Agni—she's thinking. She literally has to think about it. "seven," she says, and then thinks again, "wait, no, eight. Eight."
Azula sighs; ignores the rough twinge slinking through her body that feels vaguely like jealousy.
"What about you?"
Azula frowns. "One."
"Me?"
"No." Azula breathes in. This is the first time they've ever discussed Ty lee kissing her before leaving. "Chan. I didn't kiss you, you kissed me and you left and never came back." There is scathing in Azula's tone, and Ty lee looks like she's going to cry again. "I didn't—ugh." Azula can't apologize or take it back even if she doesn't want Ty lee to be upset.
"No," Ty lee says, her voice is small. "I…understand. I guess. But, was I the first person to ever kiss you?"
Azula bites the inside of her lip. "Yes. Another boy kissed me as well once, but I burnt his face. He looks more deformed than Zuko now." Azula smiles a bit at the memory—how her father had laughed at the boy and his father when he asked for justice.
"I guess I got lucky then," Ty lee says with a faint giggle.
Azula looks at the ground and there is nothing but the sound of the ocean again for just a moment. "Ty lee, why did you kiss me?"
She can hear Ty lee suck in a breath. "I just…wanted to. I don't know. I wanted to for a long time and I didn't know if I'd ever see you again and so, I did."
"I could have burnt you."
Ty lee's lips turn up just a fraction. "It would have been worth it, I think. You were the first person I ever kissed."
Stalled conversation again.
"Hey, Azula. Remember that time that one boy started to harass me when I was seven?"
Azula laughs. "Yes. You wouldn't tell Mai or I, and we only found out when he pushed you down during break. He liked you, you know?"
Ty lee's head perks up. "He did?"
"Of course."
"How'd you know?"
Azula thinks about the time she pushed Ty lee in the fountain just because. About the letter she wrote a week after meeting Ty lee that said,leave my nation, all because Ty lee wanted to be her friend and Azula wasn't completely repulsed by the idea. She never actually delivered the note.
"I just do, Ty lee."
"Anyways," Ty lee continues, "I remember you throwing fire at him when he pushed me down, and he had to go home because his pants and undergarments were burned through." Ty lee giggles and Azula joins in with a low laugh. "I think that was the day when I realized that I wanted to kiss you."
Azula freezes, swallows in. And she hates this feeling, the one that makes her want to be close to Ty lee. Azula has conquered Ba Sing Se, but for some reason she can't handle the emotions brought on by Ty lee. If they even are emotions, she doesn't know. They make her feel out of place, like she's too far left in a circle causing an overlap.
"Azula, I—" Ty lee stops and chews on her lip, and Azula wants to kiss her. "You didn't kiss me, but I kissed you. Did you—did you want to kiss me, though?"
"Yes," Azula says, her throat tight and it feels strange not lying. Not saying no to Ty lee and momentarily breaking her. Why can't she break Ty lee?
"Would you kiss me now?" Ty lee asks, facing Azula.
Azula blinks slowly, her hands are trembling, but not from the breeze of the ocean. She nods because she doesn't trust her voice. Ty lee makes her unable to trust her own body and it's completely infuriating.
Ty lee's eyes are closed and Azula's are open, watching as Ty lee waits. And Azula just isn't sure what she's doing. It's ridiculous. But she wants this like she wants the throne, like she wants perfection.
Azula inches her head close until their noses are pressed together. The warm breath of Ty lee drifts over her lips and she smells sweet. She always has.
Azula kisses Ty lee, a simple press of lips, and then inches back again. Ty lee opens her eyes and mouth, and Azula swallows. Her entire body feels warm.Breathe like a bender. Breathe. When she sucks breath in between her lips it feels too heavy in her chest.
And Ty lee's mouth is still open, her eyes wide and blank. Azula wishes she could be like Ty lee sometimes. Oh, the bliss of not thinking for just a moment. Azula looks at her lips, the tongue peaking between teeth, both pink. Everything about Ty lee is pink.
Arms behind her back, Azula leans in again. This time, she closes her eyes. It's odd not knowing if Ty lee is doing the same, to be in the dark. Her mouth stops less than a centimeter away from Ty lee's. Ty lee rubs her nose along Azula's, and their lips touch again for just a fraction of a second.
Azula wants everything controlled, for it to be on her terms. She opens her eyes again; Ty lee's are closed. She ducks in, brushing their lips again. It's the everlasting moment before a kiss. Azula feels like the next kiss could change everything for some reason, like it will be different than the one before it or even the one Ty lee gave her before leaving.
The next time Azula leans in, Ty lee leans in as well and before she knows it they are kissing again.
Ty lee's lips are warm and soft unlike Chan's, and Azula's mouth is pressed against her top lip, then her lower. Her hands are stiff by her side, but Ty lee's move behind Azula's head, intertwining with her hair.
Ty lee slides along her lips, pressing and opening them to suck on Azula's bottom lip. Their noses continue to bump, their foreheads press together. Azula feels her eyelids lull down until they're shut, and she can't see and everything is Ty lee.
As the kiss continues, slow and foreign, Azula begins to get more comfortable. She presses in, but with a little too much force and their teeth knock. Ty lee giggles like it's the greatest thing in the world.
She swipes her tongue against Azula's teeth, lips, and Azula's opening her mouth at the sensation.
Cherries. Ty lee tastes something like cherries. She's always smelled so sweet, but Azula never really realized how she would taste. Azula presses into her more, and kissing Ty lee feels like when she first started bending. Fire and freedom and everything she's ever known but never tried.
Ty lee's fingers curl into her hair more, and Azula grips her hips tight, digging into Ty lee's sides. Ty lee smiles into her, scrapes the roof of Azula's mouth with her tongue and pulls away for a second only to do it again.
Breathe. Azula has to remember how to breathe, through her nose in and out and in and out as something builds deep and low in her belly.
When they break apart, Ty lee keeps her face rested against Azula. She's smiling, and it takes Azula a moment to realize she's smiling too. She feels like a little girl, which is new to Azula. Even when little she never felt little. She's always been big, a presence that makes people pause.
Ty lee breathes against her, damp and hot. "Can we pretend," she murmurs, her lips ghosting close to Azula's. "Can we pretend that when we were little you kissed me back?"
Azula kisses her again. "Why?" she says against Ty lee's mouth.
"Because I want to be your first. I want to be the only one who mattered."
You already are, Azula thinks, and it's stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Ty lee kisses the corner of her mouth.
"I suppose I've never objected to lying," Azula whispers in a voice that doesn't even sound like hers. It's throaty and deep; she's using too much breath.
"Thank you, princess."
#
iv. (the time it was an end)
103 AG; Winter
Azula tries hating Ty lee, practices it like she once practiced bending so much all those years ago. She thinks about the betrayal, how she fell—body paralyzed—forced to look up at Ty lee's eyes and lips and nose from the ground. She thinks about how Ty lee chose Mai over her after everything they'd been through.
And Azula is bad at hating Ty lee. She's not supposed to be bad at things, but when Ty lee is always around - always speaking and acting like everything is normal, like Azula wasn't placed in a psych ward for two years after losing the war, like she isn't only here to be Azula's guard - well, it's harder than one would think to hate her.
"This picture of you is beautiful, Azula," Ty lee says from the corner of the room. Azula peeks up. She doesn't have any pictures of her around.
Ty lee walks over and in her hand is a photo of Mother. One Azula stole for some reason she doesn't want to think about. "I've never seen you smile like that before…"
"That's because I don't smile like that," Azula snips.
Ty lee examines the picture closer. "The hair…it's short. Is this-?"
"Yes," Azula's voice is crisp, she doesn't want to look at the photo, doesn't want to think about it.
"I just thought that—"
Azula breathes through her nose, snatches the picture, and lights it up into flames, ignoring the pain in her chest as she does so. "That's because you rarely think. Now excuse me, I'm feeling rather tired."
Ty lee watches her, eyes prickling a little bit and mouth twisted down. "Why are you always so—" she stops, grits her teeth.
"Why am I always so what, Ty lee?"
"Mean!"
Azula's lip curls into a dark smile and she laughs at the ridiculousness of it all. She can't hate Ty lee, but she can try, she can pretend. "Is that why you betrayed me, Ty lee? Did you get tired of how mean I was? Did you expect me to ever change? To one day just turn into another version of you? Smiling at the world while subconsciously punishing myself?"
"I betrayed you because you needed to be stopped!" Ty lee's eyes water and she looks away from Azula. "You were going to kill Mai. You were going to kill someone you called your friend all because—"
"She would have deserved it," Azula snarls. She takes in a deep breath; Ty lee is not worth this. She's not. "I should have done away with the both of you when I had the chance," she says, voice as lethal as fire.
Ty lee stays silent for a few moments but does not leave. She stares, and Azula feels small and she hates it. She wants to torch the room and run.
"You couldn't," she says. It's thrown out so simply, like justified fact.
Azula surges closer to her, palm on fire, the bright blue flames illuminating her face. "I couldn't? Ty lee, I think you gravely underestimate me and how I feel about you."
Ty lee looks at the fire, then back at Azula's eyes—but there is no trace of fear. Sadness, maybe pity, but no fear. "I'm sorry," Ty lee says in one breath.
She wants to strangle Ty lee, wrap her hands around that pretty little neck, and then move lower and lower and it hurts. She feels like she's slipping again, like she's about to fall. "Sorry for betraying me or sorry for making me think—if only for a second—that you love me?" Azula spits the words out, breathing heavier and heavier. It's pitiful, pathetic—everything that she is now is only a shell of what she once was.
"I did love you!" Ty lee shouts, tears brimming from her eyes. Azula wants to be happy about the pained look on Ty lee's face, but all she can feel is anger. Ty lee stole her ability to hate, made it an option that Azula could never choose simply by being Ty lee. "I never stopped, and I should have stopped you sooner because I could see that you were slipping and—"
Azula wraps her hands around Ty lee's neck, feels the smooth skin beneath her palms, and without thought, pushes her lips against Ty lee's gasping ones. Because she wants it to stop, the explanations, the lies, the pain. Stop.
Ty lee pushes against her, then pulls, and their bodies go flush as Ty lee leans into the kiss, hands tangling in Azula's hair. The kiss isn't like the ones they had years ago, it's violent, like two ships colliding.
Their teeth clash, and noses bump and the more Azula pushes Ty lee, the harder Ty lee pushes back. And Azula can feel how angry Ty lee is—she's never seen her like this and it's so refreshing to see her be something that's not perfect and smiling and bubbly.
Azula bites Ty lee's lip so hard she can taste the warm blood on her tongue, and Ty lee moans and winces before shoving Azula even harder. They fall, Ty lee landing on top.
Azula rolls them over, pins Ty lee's hands down with one of her own. Ty lee gasps into her mouth when Azula's knee slides between her legs. And with her free hand, Azula claws underneath Ty lee's shirt.
Everything in her body is want, the carnal need to rip something apart, to dig nails beneath skin. Years ago it was all innocent touches and kisses before panting alone in the night with her hand between her legs. But now she needs this because if she can't hate Ty lee, then Ty lee hating her like this is the next best thing.
She kisses Ty lee's neck, biting and sucking. Ty lee's hand is clutching and scratching at her back, and Azula knows she'll have marks.
When Azula's hand moves to Ty lee's breast, Azula has to swallow in at the whine Ty lee lets out. At the way Ty lee's nails dig further into her back.
Azula begins to slide off Ty lee's shirt only to stop at a breathless, "Wait."
Ty lee glances up, red-faced and panting. "We need to stop," she murmurs, but her eyes are dilated and she keeps looking down at Azula's lips. Azula kisses her again, harder than before.
Ty lee kisses back but only before shoving Azula off. "Stop." Her voice is stern despite the heavy breaths she has to take in. "I can't—" she scrambles up from under Azula, leaving Azula crumpled on the floor. "I can't do this. I need to go."
Ty lee stands and goes for the door. Azula thinks about when Ty lee left her to go to the circus, how she wondered what would happen if she said the word stay.
"Why?" she asks, looking at the wall.
"Because, I'm still—" she pauses and Azula can hear her swallow. "I'm still afraid of you, Azula."
The only sound in the room is their breathing for a moment. "You said that I broke you, when I visited,you said that. And it was the first time I realized that you loved me, and it was also when I realized that we—we can't."
"I don't remember saying that," is all Azula can say. She doesn't even remember Ty lee visiting. Everything had been such a blur in there; she'd been so doped up on the medication given to her by the staff.
"And when we were together, back then, you only picked up the pieces sometimes. But, Azula, you were the only one that could break me at that point. And—I have to go." Azula doesn't understand, the rambling, the pieces—she looks up at Ty lee's flushed face with utter confusion instead of the anger she should feel. The anger she's entitled to.
When Ty lee leaves, Azula can hear the creek of the door; she never realized how much noise it made.
#
v. (the time it was a beginning)
104 AG; Fall
Azula sits in the courtyard, face red and jaw clenched because of Ty lee. She should have never returned home. She'd escaped, tasted freedom. There was no one to tell her what was right or wrong, what was rude and polite. It was just her, traveling. It may not have always been comfortable, but at least there was no Zuko, or Mai, or Agni, Ursa. There was no Ty lee, most importantly. Ty lee with her random declarations of love, acting like it's just okay for that to be okay.
She hears the bench creak a little bit, feels an extra wave of warmth pass by her that can only be body heat. When she looks up she sees Zuko, calm as ever. Sometimes Azula thinks that Iroh is slipping a little extra something into the tea he sends to the royal palace.
He glances at her, smiles.
"What do you want?" she asks with an elongated sigh.
He looks up at the sky, letting his face bask in the sun. There is definitely something in that tea, no one has the right to be that…happy. He's been soft for years now, but the last couple of days have just been strange. "I'm the fire lord, do I have to want anything?"
"You're a fool," she says, glancing down at her nails. She needs a trim, perhaps she'll go later today if dear Zuzu doesn't insist on wasting her time.
He chuckles, then looks down at her, one brow quirked. "So, Ty lee seems upset."
Azula blinks slowly, tightens her fist around the edge of the bench. "Is this what we do now? Talk about each other's personal lives? Gossip and whisper like girls at a sleepover. Funny, I would think the fire lord had better things to do with his time."
"You were the one who called me a fool," Zuko says, shrugging. "Anyways, I was just making a statement." He sounds so smug; Azula wants to punch him. "But someone seems a little defensive."
"I am not defensive."
"Are so."
"We're not playing this game," Azula says, standing up. She can't take this, whatever it is. She's only been back for a few months, and Zuko already expects her to act like—like they are normal siblings. She may not have the same desire to kill him as she once did, but that doesn't mean they have to be close.
"Wait!" Zuko says, wrapping his hand around Azula's wrist.
She jerks her head to look back at him. "If you value your life, brother—"
"Mai is pregnant," he blurts out.
Azula stills, her mouth dropping open involuntarily. "Great, because what this nation really needs is a replica of you," she states as evenly as she can. A small part of her, a twinge that still aches for the throne, thinks more competition. But she doesn't want that anymore. Why would she want to rule a nation that hates her, that would betray her at any given moment? She doesn't want anything except—she stops herself from finishing that thought.
Zuko lets go of her wrist. "I found out at the beginning of the week, or well, Toph found out. She could hear the heartbeat." He laughs at that, a lot, it's an unsettling laugh. Makes Azula's stomach twist. "Can you believe it? I'm going to be a Father."
Azula smirks a little. "Hopefully you don't make our father's mistakes, Zuzu."
He frowns at that, and Azula's smirk turns into a smile. She's changed in the year she's been gone, doesn't quite hold the same views as before—but some things will always make her happy. For instance: Zuko suffering.
"Well, why don't we talk about Ty lee," he says back, like a game of tug-o-war, seeing who can pull harder.
"There is nothing to talk about," Azula says simply. "She's an exhausting little twit who will cry the second you want to break free."
Zuko's eyes widen, and he gives that infuriating smile of his. "Yeah, that totally sounds like nothing."
Azula grinds her teeth together, and makes a faint note to herself that Zuko has been spending too much time with that water peasant boy, Katara's brother. He see's their relationship and thinks that he can force it onto her.
"You know it's okay to be in love with somebody," he says. Azula's eyes flare, and fire involuntarily sparks at her fingertips. Zuko pauses, and then laughs loud and obnoxious. "You really don't know, do you?" Azula thinks about throwing fire at him, marring the other half of his face. Who is he to tell her whom she loves? Who is he to say that she can love?
"I know you love her because you look at Ty lee like you want people to look at you, Azula. You look at her like she's perfect. Like it hurts knowing that something so perfect exists."
Azula's lips are pressed tight together, her hands cooling in the silence between them. She starts to think about things she can't think about, words that she can't say—feelings that are impossible. The last time she hoped it ended up with her broken and chained to a vent. "And Ty lee? Why does she love me? I'm—" Azula doesn't know how to finish the sentence. A monster, a failure…complacent?
He laughs again, and her hand heats up. "I don't know, Azula. I really don't. But she looks at you the way you look at her. She always has, Azula." He bites the inside of his cheek. "You know, Mai once said that the reason you and Ty lee couldn't work is because she was afraid of you, and you were afraid of loving her. But we were all kids then. Things change," he says, annoyingly optimistic. How does Mai deal with it?
"I almost had Mai killed once." Zuko doesn't respond to the deflection. Once upon a time it would have flared his temper. But this is the new Zuko, the Iroh 2.0, the one that is much harder to upset.
Azula stares at the ground below her feet, the dirt, the earth. She tries to think about the grass instead of Ty lee, but earth is frighteningly dull in the larger spectrum of things.
Zuko stands. "Anyways, we're announcing it at dinner tonight." With that he walks off, his head held so high. If she snapped his neck when she had the chance it wouldn't be like that. The thought leaves Azula with a bitter taste that should be sweet.
She stays near the bench for a while, until the sun begins to set. She's going to miss dinner; somehow Zuko knew that. When the moon begins to shine more clearly, Azula heads in the house. She's never been a fan.
She heads to her quarters, not bothering to stop by dinner. There are some days when she can stomach her mother's face, and there are days she cannot. When she opens her door, she has to stop, momentarily shocked to see Ty lee on her bed. She looks sad, and Azula hates that she looks sad. And she hates that she hates seeing Ty lee sad.
Why did they fight? Ty lee said I love you, but why did Azula snap. It's all just words, there is no meaning to words, no pain—at least there shouldn't be. But she said that and heat sparked through Azula.
Ty lee looks up, gives a weak smile. Her brown eyes glow a little, and for a second Azula almost returns the smile. She's supposed to be upset at Ty lee, but for some reason, she's more upset at herself than anything.
"The door was unlocked," Ty lee says.
"You're missing dinner."
Ty lee shrugs. "I already know about Mai, she told me a little bit ago. Said Zuko was going to tell you."
Azula opens her mouth to respond before realizing she has nothing to say. Is that all this is? Small talk and stilted silences.
"I'm sorry," Azula says, it's a slip of the tongue and she blinks rapidly trying to figure out if the words actually left her mouth. Judging by the surprised look on Ty lee's face they did. Has she ever said those words before? Azula remembers earlier, her yelling at Ty lee—she told Ty lee to go, to leave the fire nation. "I didn't mean what I said."
Ty lee left once, then twice—the thought of her leaving for a third time makes Azula want to vomit.
"I thought you were perfect for so long," Ty lee murmurs. She looks at her knees, clasps and unclasps her hands. And then, with a sudden clarity, she looks up. "When I found out you weren't, I think it broke me almost as much as it broke you."
"And now I'm just flawed," Azula says.
Ty lee smiles like they're just two kids who love each other and can't help it. It's irritating. "No. Maybe nothing is perfect. Maybe there are just perfect moments in between flaws. And maybe those perfect moments are flawed."
"Ty lee, you're making no sense."
"I mean…you're perfect, but not. You're perfect for me. I don't think I could love anyone else the way I love you."
"Maybe you could love someone else better."
Ty lee stands up, begins to walk forward. She has this teasing smile on her face that makes the situation seem lighter than it really is. And Azula wants to take a step back because she should feel trapped. A caged animal. "Never, princess," Ty lee says.
Soon she's standing just inches away from Azula. Azula breathes in, closes her eyes, almost expecting Ty lee to disappear when she opens them. She doesn't, even though the only thing she can hear is the sound of her heart thumping, Ty lee is still there, in front of her.
"I'm—I'm not going to be good at this," Azula says, unsure of what this is.
Ty lee grins. "You're good at everything, Azula." Her voice is honey-sweet, almost syrupy. It reminds Azula of when they were kids and she was practicing; every so often Ty lee would compliment her, and Azula wouldn't respond.
"I thought we agreed that I'm not perfect," she says, her voice losing its grip as Ty lee leans in closer and closer.
"We agreed you're partially perfect."
"That doesn't make sense."
"Azula?" Ty lee asks, her eyes flicking down to Azula's lips. "Pretend it does for a moment.
Azula closes her eyes and pretends for the only person worth pretending for as Ty lee's lips touch her own.
#
i. (one time they didn't)
105 AG; Spring
Ty lee wakes at the stirring of Azula's body. She does this a lot, wakes up but doesn't actually "wake up" until Ty lee begins to move. It's her quiet time, a few moments alone within the insanity that is the royal palace.
Zuko made Azula an advisor months ago to appease the loyalist to their father—Ty lee thinks he just wanted her to have something to do, though. The loyalist still want to usurp Zuko—or not loyalist, but the New Ozai Society.
But, on the upside, due to the hostile activity near the royal palace, many of the Kyoshi warriors have been placed to guard here—including Ty lee. Meaning she never has to choose between the girls and Azula. She would choose Azula in the end, at least now, after everything, even if Azula didn't ask her to stay.
Ty lee looks at Azula's back, pale and smooth, black hair sprawled across it. She cut it short during her leave from the fire nation, but it's been growing back. Now it's almost as long as it was before—before everything.
Ty lee smiles a little, places her hands on Azula's back. With the lightest of touches she moves up and down, sometimes dipping lower into the dimples of her back. She stops when Azula lets out a breathy sigh.
"Don't—" Azula says in a voice that sounds like an order. She pauses for a moment. "Don't stop," she says softer.
Ty lee giggles, but continues. "Morning," she whispers in Azula's ear. She'll never stop loving the way Azula shivers when she gets too close, the startled arousal that shoots through her.
"I love it when you do that," Ty lee murmurs, a low hum that heats up Azula's ear. She moves her hand lower down Azula's back, and then snakes it so that she's pressing lightly against Azula's lower belly.
Azula hisses out a low, "Do what?"
Leaning in closer, Ty lee brings her lips closer to Azula's ear, dips her hand a bit lower so that it rest against her pubic bone. "That little shiver, it's cute."
"I'm not cute," Azula says; her voice is strained.
Ty lee chuckles. "You are so cute." And then suddenly Ty lee's being flipped over, her back falls against the plushness of the bed, squeaks when Azula straddles her. She pins Ty lee's hands above her head and gives a smile fit for the devil. Warmth floods Ty lee, traveling down low and pulling the breath from out her lungs.
"Am I cute now?" she says, her face hovering just an inch above Ty lee's.
Ty lee gives her a cheeky grin, tries to focus on anything but the faint stirrings of arousal. "Cuter than a turtle duck."
Moving in, Azula brushes her nose against Ty lee's. "Is that so?" She leans in closer and closer until their lips are nearly touching, but Ty lee isn't ready to give up whatever they're doing now and curves her legs up and around Azula's until she has the leverage to flip them again. In one quick motion, she's on top of Azula.
"Princess, has being an advisor cut into your practice time?" she says, her lips twisting up involuntarily at the scowl on Azula's face.
"I let you do that," she says.
Ty lee leans in, begins to move her hand low so that she's brushing over Azula's thighs. "What else are you going to let me do?" she asks, her lips tilting just above Azula's.
Azula closes her eyes, lets out a sharp gasp when Ty lee moves to the soft skin of her inner thighs. A second before their lips meet, Ty lee stills at the sound of a loud knock on the door.
"Go away!" Azula snaps, jerking her head to face the door. Ty lee would laugh if it weren't for the fact that Azula looks genuinely upset by the interruption.
"It's Zuko."
"Ah, in that case, go away permanently." Ty lee snickers giving Azula a light slap on the shoulder.
"Ty lee? Are you in there?"
"Yeah. Just a minute," Ty lee says with a sigh. She pushes off of the bed and grabs her robe from the floor.
"Don't you dare let him in," Azula snipes.
"He's the fire lord."
"He's an idiot."
"You know I can still hear you, right?" Zuko shouts through the door.
"You're an idiot who can hear, color me impressed," Azula says, purposefully louder.
Ty lee laughs to herself while tying her rope together. There is only one member of the fire nation family she wants to see her naked. When she opens the door Zuko stares at her, half frazzled, half confused.
His eyes dart to Ty lee's neck. "Ty lee," he says a bit winded. He's not in his regular fire lord clothes, but instead dressed more casually, and his hair doesn't look like it's been combed—calics stick out everywhere. "Your neck, are you okay?"
Ty lee's eyes widen as a hot blush crosses her face. She touches her neck, feels the softened skin that's more than likely a dark purple.
And like clockwork Azula appears next to her. Ty lee doesn't look up but still somehow knows that Azula is smirking. "Is my dear brother concerned?" she touches the skin on Ty lee's neck, and Ty lee wonders if Azula will ever stop enjoying Zuko's suffering. Probably not.
"Ew. Gross."
"What do you want?" Azula asks after basking in Zuko's momentary pain.
"Oh, right. Yes. Okay." He takes in a deep breath. "The baby. She—last night, she's here."
Ty lee's heart jumps, as do her feet. She tugs on Azula's robe, smiling widely at both Azula and Zuko. Neither seems to share her excitement. They're wearing the same expression, nervousness. And Azula doesn't get nervous. Ty lee looks at Azula, eyes wide.
"Then shouldn't you be with her and not bothering us?" Azula says, but her voice lacks bite.
He gives a weak laugh. "Yeah, she kind of kicked me out of the room. But she needs someone in there, so could you guys-?"
As Azula is saying, "Absolutely not," Ty lee exclaims, "Of course." In truth, Ty lee is a little more than annoyed nobody got her last night, but then again—if Zuko had come last night, Azula might have actually lit him on fire.
Ty lee looks at Azula, poking her lower lip out. Mai and Azula still aren't on great terms, but they aren't on terrible terms either. It's kind of like a friendship limbo. "Ty lee, if you want to go, then go—but don't expect me—"
"As fire lord I, uh, command you to," Zuko butts in. Azula snaps her head to look at him, fire raging in her eyes. Months ago it would have frightened Ty lee. "She said if anyone had to be in here she'd rather it be you because at least you wouldn't blabber," he grumbles.
Ty lee watches the momentary shock in Azula's eyes.
"Fine," she says, surprising them both. Then she shuts the door in Zuko's face. They change in silence, Azula not offering a word, and Ty lee not knowing exactly what to say.
They walk, following Zuko. Their hands brush a few times as they speed through the hall, and Ty lee reaches out to squeeze Azula's. Her hand is slick with sweat, clammy, and she returns the squeeze without looking at Ty lee.
When they reach the room Zuko peeks in for a second, then waits outside.
They enter to see Mai holding the baby, it's pink head barely visible beneath a royal, red blanket.
"Mai!" Ty lee squeaks, and then covers her mouth with her hand as she remembers the very tiny child in Mai's arms.
Mai looks up, her mouth opening a little as she catches Azula. "He kept fussing over the baby so I said I'd rather deal with Azula than this," Mai says, a hint of a smile on her lips. "I didn't think he'd take it literally."
"Well, most people would pick me over my brother. I suppose I can't blame you."
Mai laughs and looks up at Azula, the friend limbo is still in place. That awkward boundary of what is acceptable and what isn't. "I still don't like you," Mai says. "For the whole attempted murder thing."
"The feeling is mutual," Azula replies, but they're both grinning. Ty lee wonders when they'll just admit they don't hate each other.
"So have you chosen a name?" Ty lee asks, breaking up the silence. She remembers talking with Mai the other day—there was a long list she was looking at. She looks down at the baby, sees the already pink aura, so different from Mai's.
"Honora," Mai says, and Azula laughs, actually laughs.
"You can't be serious," Azula says.
Mai snorts. "No, but Zuko did suggest it."
She cradles the baby's neck. "Izumi," Mai whispers after a moment.
"So now we have two princesses?" Ty lee says with a smile, she looks at Azula, brushes their hands together.
Mai doesn't answer, instead looking at the door. Ty lee follows her eyes and sees Zuko peaking in. Mai sighs. "Come in," she says with a roll of her eyes, but Ty lee doesn't hear any malice in her voice. Just exhaustion.
Zuko doesn't hesitate and walks in, taking his place by Mai's side. Izumi starts to cry so Mai gladly passes her to Zuko. He brings her into a cradle; smiles at her like she's the most perfect thing in the world, says her name like a prayer. Involuntary tears prickle in Ty lee's eyes and briefly she wonders if she'll ever experience that. "Do you wanna hold her Azula? Ty lee?" he asks, his voice hoarse.
"I don't want to touch it," Azula says, looking at the baby with something that can only be described as pure fear.
"My child is not an it Azula!" Zuko bites. Mai says nothing because Mai has already fallen asleep.
"I'll hold it," Ty lee says, pushing her arms out. Izumi is warm, Ty lee knew she would be warm but it's still surprising for some reason. Ty lee tilts her near Azula so she can get a better look at her.
The baby looks at Azula, her already yellow eyes focusing in on her. She stops crying, reaches out a little near Azula's face.
Azula takes the smallest step backward but holds her hand out. She doesn't touch her, just kind of hovers over Izumi's skin. And then Izumi grabs Azula's finger with her small, pink hand, holding it tight. Azula freezes, mouth opened just the tiniest bit.
"Sure you don't want to hold her? I think she likes you." Ty lee giggles, but Azula doesn't appear to be amused.
"I suppose I have to since everyone insists," she says faintly. Ty lee holds Izumi out until she's safely nestled in Azula's arms. And Azula stares at her, not with envy or malice—but with a softness in her eyes.
"It's not terrible. Kind of…cute," she says, not taking her eyes off the baby.
"It's not an it!" Zuko snaps, and then, "Wait—I mean, she's not an it."
Azula doesn't respond, just continues to hold Izumi in her arms. Then she looks up at Ty lee, eyes wide, frazzled. And—she smiles, barely noticeable, but she smiles.
Nobody notices the doctor coming into the room until he says, "She should get some rest." He takes Izumi from Azula's arms, and Ty lee giggles at the small scowl he receives from Azula.
"You know, I love you," Ty lee remarks as they walking back to their room. Azula looks down and grabs Ty lee's hand.
"You aren't terrible," she remarks, her lips quirked up. Ty lee laughs and wonders if she'll ever get used to the way Azula says I love you.
This was actually part of a 50k piece I wrote for them, but I realized I was never going to have the time/motivation to edit that, so I took some of my favorite parts and it became this. The timeline might not be completely accurate, but hopefully, it wasn't too jarring. Also, the PoV's ... let's just pretend I did the full circle thing with Ty lee on purpose. If there are any daunting grammar issues just lemme know and I'll fix them because I had to do a fairly limited edit job with this.