Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, blah blah blah. -_-
Title: If This Was A Movie
Summary: If this was a movie, you'd be here by now… EClare
A.N.: This is the saddest song in the world and every time I listen to it, I just burst into tears. Sooo I decided to make an Eclare song fic based on it ;) I changed some of the lyrics to fit the story. I'm definitely going to do more Taylor Swift song fics ;D If This Was a Movie – Taylor Swift.
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Eli's POV
Last night I heard my own heart beating. It sounded like footsteps on my stairs.
I wake up with a start, tears streaming down my face. I sigh and sit up, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my face on my knees. I expect your voice to ask if I am okay. The room stays silent.
Six months gone and I'm still reaching, even though I know you're not there.
I sleep using your pillow, taking in your scent every time I fall asleep. It's the only way I can fall asleep. The effect Clare Edwards has on guys is unbelievable, but I am living in Hell because of this girl. I hug your pillow close to my body and take in a deep breath, your sweet smell of vanilla invading my nostrils and sending a smile to creep across my face.
I was playing back a thousand memories, baby, and thinking about everything we've been through.
It's been a half a year. Six months. You left me six months ago and I'm still dying. I run my fingers shakily through my hair. Did a year mean nothing to you? You gave me your virginity. I meant so much to you. You meant so much to me. Why did you leave?
Maybe I've been going back too much lately when time stood still and I had you.
Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe I should give up on you. Maybe I should come to terms with the fact that you will never come back. Maybe, just maybe, I'll lose all faith in myself along the way. Maybe I'll lose all my faith in you, just like you lost faith in me. Maybe I'll just forget everything.
I know people change and these things happen, but I remember how it was back then.
I try to ignore the memories that always seem to haunt me at four in the morning, making it impossible to fall asleep. I can see you. Your small smile. Your deep blush. Your bright blue eyes. I shake my head, trying to shake the memories out.
I had you wrapped up in my arms and our friends were laughing because nothing like this ever happened to them.
Our six month anniversary. You came up to me with your face bright red, something in your hand. You opened your hand slowly, revealing a chain with your purity ring on it. With no words spoken, you got on your tiptoes and clasped it around my neck. I tug on the chain now and stare at your ring, the only thing you left me, along with the memories.
Now I'm pacing down the hall. Chasing down your street.
I get out of bed, leaving the memories behind. I climb down the stairs slowly, trying not to wake up my parents. I grab the keys to my car and creep out the door. I open the car door and find myself parked in front of your house.
Flash back to the night when you said to me, "Nothing's going to change, not for me and you."
I look at the house I had once thought of as my own home. The friendly environment. The way your parents eventually treated me like family. I start to drive away but stop myself when I see a red pickup truck in the driveway. I know that truck. Jake Martin.
Not before I knew how much I had to lose.
You were sleeping with Jake. I can feel the pain and the anger boil within me and I slam my fists down on the steering wheel. Tears pour out without me realizing. I feel like screaming. Getting everything off my chest. I just want to forget you. Is that too much to ask? You still have me under your spell.
If you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on, I've been waiting for you every day since you been gone.
I try to drive away, to leave you behind, although I know the memories still follow me, eating me away, slowly. Bit by bit. You're tearing me apart. You're breaking me into pieces. Even after all this time, you are killing me. I still want you, though.
I just want it back the way it was before and I just want to see you back at my front door.
It's funny how things work. I'm sitting here, begging you to come back to me. I know you won't. On most days, I sit in my room and stare at the door, waiting for you to burst through, smiling. I wait for you to jump on me and kiss me one last time. One last kiss.
Come back to me like you would before you said, "It's not that easy."
I find myself standing on your doorstep at four in the morning. Your parents will be mad, but I don't care. With a shaky hand, I knock. I see the hallway light turn on and you open the door with an annoyed look on your beautiful face. You cross your arms over your chest, asking why I was here.
Before the fight
I admit that I still love you and your eyes start to water. You look tired and tell me that I should leave. I explode, asking you why we didn't work out. Why we are wasting time being apart. Why you are with Jake.
Before I locked you out
Your body starts to shake as a sob escapes your soft, plump lips. You explain that you want me back, more than anything in the world. You say it's not that simple. You say you can't just take me back. I pull you into my arms and hug you close to me. I whisper soothing things in your ear and squeeze you tighter to me.
But I take it all back now…
I apologize, over and over again. You say you forgive me and say that you're sorry too. Sorry for putting me through this. My arms tighten around you, surprised to feel your warmth back within them. You pull out of my arms and you kiss my lips tenderly, wrapping your arms around my neck.
Come back, come back, come back to me
Like you would, you would if this was a movie
Stand in the rain outside until I came out
Come back, come back, come back to me
Like you could, you could if you just said you're sorry
I know that we could work it out somehow
But if this was a movie you'd be here by now…
I wake up, feeling the floor slam against me as I fall off my bed. It was a dream. It was all a dream. You are really gone forever…
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