I'm looking for someone to beta this so I don't make too many mistakes. Just pm me, okay.
I do not own Naruto or anything else except the plot line.
Warning: There will be self-harm, suicidal thoughts and harsh language.
"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare." - Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story
Look, I'm just gonna be frank, this is not a happy story. Close this now if you're expecting otherwise. You will surely be disappointed and I don't want to make anyone depressed cause of my problems. I will wait for you to close it…
For those of you who have stayed, then strap on your seat belts because it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I'm 18 years old and I've lived on my own for a very long time. I live in a village called Konaha and my parent's died when I was very young. Now that that is over we can get on with the rest of it. I'm currently bleeding on my apartment floor. No, this is not because I was on a mission, but because I choose to be. I'm not happy, it's simple. I inflict pain upon myself because I want to distract myself from the real problem.
Staring at the ceiling is probably the most therapeutic feeling ever. It also drives me crazy. I still don't want to look outside myself and acknowledge the fact that I am-indeed- a mess. Confused as to where I'm going with this? Yeah, so am I. I'm trying to reevaluate what, who, where, when, and how I am.
What: I'm the Kyuubi- carrier and ninja.
Where: I'm in Konaha in my apartment.
When: Today is my birthday, October 10th
How: I am depressed.
Who: I don't know.
I don't know who I am anymore. I used to be Naruto, the number one knuckle head ninja. Then I became the person who will bring Sasuke back, become Hokage and then marry the one I love, have kids, protect the village I love and live to see my kids grow before someone assassinated me or I die peacefully. The End.
So who am I? Why should I protect the village that wanted me to die, who have cursed my name, who have broken into my apartment and wrecked everything I have? Why should keep up with the facade when all I want to do is sleep and never wake up? Why should I? All these questions and all I can think of is "because you have to".
What kind of bullshit is that? No, I'm not going to do that. I've done what I had promised Sakura. I brought him back, okay?! Sasuke is in the village, he is a part of team 7 again, and she can continue to fawn over the man. I want to be left alone. I want to die, right here, right now on my birthday. If I'm gonna go, it's going to be fucking poetic and dramatic. Not that anyone ever bothers to remember my birthday anyhow.
So here I am, on my apartment floor, bleeding out because I'm tired. I'm tired of smiling at people who don't care, of pushing myself so whole-heartedly when my efforts go unseen. I feel my tears fall across my cheeks, and into my hair. The shadows are getting longer in my room, the sun must be setting. Or am I dying already? My eyes are closing, and I'm sleepy.
"Naruto!"
My eyes shot open and I see Sasuke standing over me, and he's shaking me. "What are you doing? Why are you bleeding?! Don't you dare close your eyes Naruto…Naruto?!"
"I'm tired Sasuke, leave me...alone..." and I slip. I slip into the darkness and I embrace its cold, dead, hands.
Now, I've never died before, but I'm pretty sure I'm not dead. I feel sore and my wrists hurt along with my sides. I sigh before deciding to open my eyes. Yeah, I'm in the hospital. To my left is the window where the sunlight has been shining in, the warmth not what I want.
I hear light snoring and I look to my right and…Sasuke is laying there, his head resting by hand. He looks exhausted, the darkness below his eyes indicating so. I sit up and wince, the pain shooting up my side. I quickly look to Sasuke to see if he woke up. He was still sleeping, and I feel the regret fire through my chest. No one was suppose to find me. I was going to die by myself, as the sun set in my room.
I looked out the window again and I saw leaves fall down, fall wind sweeping them up into view again.
"Why'd you do it, Naruto?" I heard Sasuke ask from behind me. I stiffened, not wanting this conversation just yet. "Go home Sasuke, I'm sure you're tired." Sasuke pulled me sharply, forcing me to look at him. "Why did you do it Naruto? Why bring me back here and then attempt to off yourself, huh?!" Sasuke's face seething anger, fingers gripping the hospital gown harshly. I look at his eyes and I see the anger there, but I also see…pain?
"Sasuke…?" I reach out a hand but Sasuke has already pulled away. His bangs cover his face, and he stands. "You've been out for a week. I'll get Tsunade." He got up, and left the room.
I stare at the ceiling, confused and…regretful. Something has changed, my story has changed. I'm going to have see it to the end…aren't I?
So this is it. Now if I can keep with this, the great. Note, I am a college student so uploads won't be too frequent. But I will do my best.