Hello and Hejsan (Swedish)!
This is my first FanFic ever so I just hope it won't be to horrible. Going to start of by saying sorry if their is any grammar mistakes or if you think the story seems sloppy, I don't usually write longer texts in english. Please let me now if there was anything I could do better or if there was something good.
Well hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama, the genius Sorachi Hideaki does.
It was another beautiful spring day with flowers, sun and a lot warmer weather. Kagura was pissed, she liked flowers but she could totally live without them if it just meant that it wouldn't be hotter and sunnier. She was dozing of at the floor with her back resting against Sadaharu. Gin-chan was reading a letter from the sisters Ane and Mone.
"Oi oi listen to this Kagura", Gintoki said and started to read from the letter. "Kon'nichiwa baka Yorozuya! Sadaharu is at the age of 8 years now, which means that we have to do a ritual with him so he will learn to control the beast that lives within him. If you want him to keep living at your dirty as apartment the ritual need to take place there. However, anybody except me and Ane can't be present, a lot of spiritual energy will be sett loose, and it would be to dangerous for people that have never felt such force before. This ritual takes about 30 hours, but it is extremely necessary. We will come to your place at Saturday morning and stay there over the night as well. Which naturally means you can't sleep there.
With greetings but mostly punches Mone and Ane.
ps. Fill the refrigerator if you don't want us starving to death under the ritual!"
Gintoki puts the letter on the table in front of him and sights. "Listen to me Kagura-chan... do you really need to keep Sadaharu?"
Kagura jumps up kicking her surrogate father in the head. "Of course! Sadaharu is going nowhere. We can totally sleep at Virgin boy and angeos place, it's not like Megane will have any girl over".
"Tch tch don't kick me so hard you idiot, my head is already about to break from all this bullshit! They are demanding food Kagura-chan! Food! That we have to buy, and sense we don't have any money we just have to steal it!". Kagura snorted and while hugging Sadaharu. "If it is for Sadaharus sake I can do some smooth stealing or maybe we can ask Stalker-chan. She is probably here anyway". Just as Kagura said that, Sarutobi opened the closet where Kagura used to sleep and stepped out in front of them. "If it's for Gin-sans wallet to remain big to our wedding night I will gladly do the shopping".
Both Gintoki and Kagura stared at Sa-chan. Was she even talking about food? Sarutobi sat on the sofa opposite to Gin-chan and started to threw kisses at him. "And as for a place to sleep I would of coarse lend you my place, but sadly it's so secret that I can't tell you. Not even you Gin-san, not until our wedding day." She did dramatic faces while she talked.
Do you even have a own home. I can feel your presences here every night. Kagura thought to her self.
Gintoki stood up, clearly because of the fact that the crazy ninja stalker had started to move closer and closer towards him while taking up a bowl of Natto.
"Well then, I suppose that monster dog eat us out of the house and take dumps inside sometimes, but he seem to like hunting down tax robbers and other enjoying people". Gintoki said while putting his wooden sword in his belt. "Come on Kagura-chan, let's look for a place too sleep so we don't have to experience life like the Madao for 30 hours". Kagura gave Gin-chan a fast hug while putting on her shoes.
They walked down the street on their way to Shinpachis home. Sarutobi walked with them at first, and believe it or not, they actually had a not-so-normal-but-not-extremly-out-of-control conversation. But she didn't feel any urge to meet with Otae at the moment so she jumped up at some building and disappeared right before they came to the street where the Shimura dojo was. But she'd promise them she would fix some food to the Inugami sisters.
As fast as they came inside ,to the inner yard, Kagura loosen Sadaharus leash so he could run around.
"My my, what a surprise having you two here". Otae came out and greeted them. Sadaharu was running straight to her but Shimura Tae just stopped him with her left hand like he was some kind of confused hamster while smiling like always.
"Anego!" Kagura shouted and hugged her. "Kagura-chan? Gin-san?" Shinpachi came from around the corner. "I thought you two were having a "lazy day" today?" Four eyes said. Kagura explained the situation and that they needed to spend tomorrow night at the Shimura dojo. Megane got the word FEAR painted all over his face. Images of the dojo broken in pieces, no food left and just a huge mess appeared in his head. He cared and loved Gin-san and Kagura-chan with all his heart, but to actually have them as roommates for a whole night and day would be like being on the TV show "Extr*me Survival". Otae must have been thinking the exact same thought because she immediately started to speak with a even bigger smile on her face.
"Well now, we shouldn't spend the night her. For some reason Kyuu-chan gave me a tent for my birthday, so why don't we go out for camping. It will be fun, feeling the nature and taking a little break from the big city. You guys don't have any objections right?"
As if anyone would dare to have any objections against Otae when she was smiling with that dark aura around her.
And so the next day arrived...
The Yorozuyas door bell had got a weird kind of tone. And wasn't it very loud? Gintoki opened his tired eyes, just to stare straight into Mones bored eyes as she played her flute right into his ear.
"What the hell! Do you now which time it is you crazy flute priest!?" He stood at the other side of the futon and glared at her.
Ane came into the room with Komako in her bosom.
"The question here is if you know which time it is. We said we would come when the sun rises" Ane said with annoyed tone.
"Oi you said in the letter you would come her in the morning, not 'when the sun rises' and besides when do you think the sun rise anyway? She is already 9:15am".
"Well truth is, we lost Komako at 6am so we spent some hours looking. Anyway, you guys got to ditch now. We have to prepare the ritual, so bye bye!" When Gintoki didn't respond in one second Mone blew in her flute so loud that Kagura also woke up.
10 minutes later...
"Now be a good boy Sadaharu and I see you in 30 hours". Kagura gave her big fluffy dog a big hug and then she and Gintoki went down the stairs to go meet up with the others at the foot of the mountain that laid just 20 minutes outside of Edo.
When Gin-chan and Kagura arrived everybody was already there. Kagura had thought it would only be the Yorozuya and Otae. But Kyuubei, Zura and Elizabeth was also with them. For some reason it made her weirdly happy to see them all together.
"Sorry we're late!" Kagura yawned. She was still tired put it stared to run of her.
"Ah, Leader", Katsura said with a worshipping smile. Gintoki glanced at the group and judging by his face it more seemed like he wanted to go back to sleep rather than camp with them.
"Zura, why are you even here? Don't you have some building to bomb with you lack of intelligence?"
Katsura looked at his old friend and said with determined voice.
"Zura ja nai Katsura da, and I'm tired of being on standby so this time I'm coming with you all". With that said the group started to move up the mountain.
Afternoon around 3.30pm..
They'd been walking for quite a while', stopping at places, discovered caves, but now they had found a pretty good spot near a river. The tent was up so it was time to prepare some food.
Otae said she could do it and with that said both Kyuu-chan and Shinpachi was suddenly extremely eager to help. Even Gintoki wanted to help. Well mostly he wanted to help the food by helping Otae away from it.
Kagura, Zura and Elizabeth went out to look for firewood. The nature up in the mountains around here was truly beautiful. There was a lot of greenery. Even though the big city of Edo was just some hours down it felt like they were far away in unknown woods. Ah, this was truly a bless. All she could see was the green trees, pretty plants, a man in a Shinsengumi uniform, rocks and-
WAIT A SECOND!
She felt someone dragging her down. It was Zura. They hid behind a big rock, carefully watching the Shinsengumi police.
"Stupid tax robbers what are they doing here". Kagura whined. She didn't want them to interfere with their camping.
"What should we do Leader? Do you think they are looking for us?"
"Us? I'm not the one bombing Amanto embassies at my spare time. But how would they find out you were coming with us? You might as well still been on standby".
Katsura nodded. "Yes, I can't see how they would have tracked me here."
The Shinsengumi man started to walk away all of a sudden. Kagura could now see that he had been picking firewood.
"Come on Zura and Eli, let's follow him to see where their camp is", Kagura whispers so low she can.
"Zura ja nai Katsura da", Katsura answerd while sneaking behind Kagura. Luckily there was a lot of trees and stones along the little path, because the police man turned around many times, like he felt that someone followed him.
Maybe 2 or 3 minutes later the man arrives to a little area that is pretty flat.
Oh how Kagura had hoped that the man was just a really good cosplayer. But looking a the three big tents on the flat area and the people standing around them, her hopes for this to just be a huge cosplay party totally disappeared. Hiding in the bushes, with the most wanted man in Edo and his companion, she spotted Gorilla and Mayora. The Shinsengumi version of Shinpachi is also there and a lot of the other polices. At least the Sadist doesn-
"Oi, who is peeping in the bushes?" A deadpan voice behind her says.
GAAAH, THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME EVER! The Sadist is always after Zura!
Hopefully he just got the feeling someone was in the bushes, hopefully he hasn't seen something. Something like that big as duck. She lays a hand on Zuras shoulder as a sign for him to wait, then she rises. Standing in the middle of the bush, she start to brush of leaves and grass like nothing is weird at all.
Sadist looks pretty surprised.
"What now? What are you doing here China?" He ask her.
"I was looking for firewood to the fire." She said, still trying to act like this is not anything suspicious at all...hiding in the bushes...clearly peeping.
"A fire for what? Your pyre?" He sound a bit amused now. Kagura wanted to answer with a mocking comment, but she need him to go away so she can get Zura out of this hot pot filled with Shinsengumi people.
"No, for the fire we are cooking our food on. We are camping just some minutes away from here by the river". She want to hit herself in the head for saying their position. Hopefully Gorilla is not eavesdropping behind some tree.
She climbs out of the bushes and go pass him. Restraining the usual craving of punching him in the face. "So if you wouldn't be to sad about it, I'm heading back".
"Who would be sad about you leaving?" He snorted back.
Kagura glanced over her shoulder. He was heading back to the Shinsengumi camp.
phew-
What is he doing!? Kagura watch with fear how Sadist walks right threw the bushes instead of going around. Even worse, he crosses exactly where Zura is sitting. But nothing happens. Kagura could breathe out a little. But then Sougo turns around and stares at her. She stiff again. He looks straight at her.
Did he notice anything?
"Why are you still there? Going to peep more?" He ask with a low voice. He looks confused.
Kagura turns around in an instant and walks away quickly, a bit embarrassed. It must have looked like she was gazing after him. She will stomp his brains to jelly the next time they meet so that he won't have any weird ideas.
Halfway back to the camp, where Gin-chan and the others are, Zura steps forward from hiding inside a hollow tree.
"Zura! I was worried that you might gotten kidnapped by those good for nothing tax robbers!"
"Zura ja nai Runaway Kotarou da! Leader, your concern is really touching". Katsura looks like he's on the edge of crying of joy.
Elizabeth suddenly pops up out of nowhere with its bosom filled with firewood.
Back at the camping spot Gintoki have been able to hold Otae out of the cooking with having her start to passionate talk about her hatred for that Gorilla stalker, Kyuubei has totally abandoned the cooking, just listen to Tae. Kyuubei looks like a happy child who just got the most amazing present ever. Hearing how Tae-chan hates that stalker must be very fortunate. Shinpachi is the only one left on the food station, but everything seems to be done.
Elizabeth made the fire in no time and the pot is very soon ready to be eaten. Everybody take a bowl and starts to eat. Tae spills some drops of the hot pot on her hand. She make a scream for a half second . Kyuubei runs to her side, but Otae's just smiling. "Ne ne Kyuu-chan I'm more than fine. I just got a little surprised".
Kagura ate her first bowl like it was a cracker. All this walking and stress had made her extremely hungry. When she was on her third bowl Anego stands up. She looks with disgust into the forest behind them.
"What's wrong Tae-chan?" Kyuubei ask. Worried as always. Otae swallow. "I can feel something. Something horrible is approaching". Everybody turn their heads towards the forest. Gin-chan starts to sing a song backwards. He stumble on the words.
Suddenly something rustle among the trees in front o them. Gintoki starts to back away. If the fucking stand from that nasty as stand hotel is back to make him work part time as the summer comes, he will, without a doubt, jump right down into the river.
The rustle is getting louder. Otaes eyes are widened. "K-Kagu-Kagura-ch-ch-chan. I-I ne-need t-to v-v-v-vomit". Kagura drops her bowl. "ANEGO!"
Out from the trees comes no one less then a hairy Gorilla, right behind him a smoking Mayora freak and, trying to stab Mayora with his Katana, Sadist. Gintoki and Kagura both sights annoyed at the same time. Zura and Elizabeth made a quick backflip right into the tent, Otae seems to be sick and Kyuubei is supporting her while glaring at Gorilla.
Shinpachi sights. Why is everyone he hangs out with so rude. "Kondo-san, Hijikata-san and Okita-san. This is quite a weird place to meet you at". Megane says with his usual nice smile.
"Ah Shinpachi-kun. Well I thought I heard Otae-san scream", Gorilla says.
"And I thought I heard the voice of a complete psychoGorilla just now." Kagura says to mock Gorilla. Hijikata gives her a glare in return.
"OI KID, who are you calling A psyco!? Wanna commit seppuku?" Kagura yawns as she lays on her stomach. Gintoki sits down beside her. He got un evil smile o his lips.
"My my, have you heard Kagura-chan. Those baka monkeys is sticking up to a psycotic gorilla". Kagura plays along in the mocking act.
"Whaat? How very embarrassing to have a psychotic gorilla stalker as a captain". Both of them chuckled in a way that made them look like they were the only true psychos there.
Kondo tried to hug Otae but she and Kyuu-chan punched him in the face at the same time. Sadist kicked Kagura in the head while she still was laughing. This made her jump up kicking at him. She hadn't forgotten about that 'making he's brains to jelly part'. Gintoki started to harass Hijikata-sans mayonnaise addiction and just as the normal chaos started, someone came out from the tent that Kyuubei had given Otae.
The person had a typical pirate costume, with un eyepatch over one of his eyes. The Yorozuya made the same face they always did when someone came to them in order to give them a job.
Souga took his eyes of Kagura and walked up to Zura.
"Oi, you look like Katsura Kotarou, terrorist of Joui". The Yorozuya started to sweat like mad. If Zura would be caught here, he would drag them down with him sense he is in their company.
KAGURA-CHAN, SHINPACHI-KUN! ON THREE WE DITCH THESE PEOPLE AND RUN OF TO START A NEW LIFE HEAR IN THE MOUNTAINS!
Gintokis telepathic words seemed to reach because both Kagura and Shinpachi just nodded, still with their shocked faces.
"Katsura ja nai Captain Katsura da", Zura said with his usual tone.
GAAAH that idiot! The Yorozuya now seemed to split minds sense they were all thinking the same. Kagura stood up and started to make a nervous laughter.
"AhAhAhAH.. this is my Yato cousin, yes. At my home planet every girls cousin is named Katsura.. you now after the big Yato..uhm...Lord...eto...Katsaun...YES! After the big Lord Katsuan!" She smiled big, patting Zura on his shoulder and giving the Sadist a smile that he probably never had seen her give him before.
Kaguras eye started to twitch. This was probably the worst lie she had ever told and if they believe her they are far more stupid then she ever would have guess. The Sadist was looking from her to Zura and then back to her.
Suddenly Hijikata barked in. "Ey, why is he dressed like some cheap copy of a pirate anyway?". Gintoki jumped up from his place by the fire. He patted Zura on the head and laughed. "Well well, this 100% Yato is a cosplaying captain, not like a captain or commander over some terrorist group though, more like... well you know..?" Gin-chan looked at Hijikata and Sougo. He had totally no idea where he was actually going with his words. This has really quick evolved to a disaster.
Otae watches as Kagura-chan and Gin-san tries their best to convince the two Shinsengumi police officers that Katsura-san is not the bombing, idiot freak. Of course is their best always just like Shin-chan, a smaller disappointment. She understand the danger in this situation. It's time to act.
"Ne, ne Gorilla-san. This is Kaguras 100% Yato cousins first time on earth, and he is a little afraid of the cops. Do you have any booze at your tents?" Tae smiled the same smile she always did. Gorilla seemed to drop his yaw because of the fact that Otae-san was speaking directly to him. He just nodded like a trained puppy.
Hijikata wanted to throw up when he saw his respected Kondo turn into some FUCKING GORILLA STALKER.
"Well then! We should all head over to your tents and welcome this 100% Yato to earth with some drinking games, right Kondo-san?"
Now it was all done for the Shinsengumi. Kondo cried tears of joy. She had used his real name for once. He stood up.
"Yoosh, well then! Let's head over to our camping spot. Sougo, Toshi. Don't harass that lovely cousin of China girl. That person has brought Otae-san closer to me tonight."
Yorozuyas sweat drops. Otae smiles up to Gorilla. "We just going to clean up ourselves a bit. If you guys start preparing the booze we will be at your spot in 10 minutes, A'right"?
Gorilla smiles back at her. He quickly explains exactly where the Shinsengumi camping spot lays, then he orders Sougo and Toshi to go with him back.
As fast the Shinsengumi has left everybody glares angry at Otae. Even Kyuubei seems to be displeased.
"Anego, why did you invite us in at their place? We wanna get away from them!"
"Well this was the best I could come up with, and I'm shore that everyone will be so drunk that they won't realize if something worthy disappears. Right Shin-chan?"
"WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO ME?! YOU WAN'T TO STEAL FROM THEM!"
Gintoki smiles. "Hehehehehehe, well guys. This isn't such an awful idea. I haven't paid rent in five months, and when we get home our house will probably look like shit after that stupid dog ritual and the food will be all gone. So let's give those baka tax robbers a taste of their own medicine".
Shinpachi looks terrified at the backs of his friends as they start walking to the Shinsengumi camp. Is this even Gint*ma anymore?!
So this was the first chapter. Next chapter is going to be the more romantic part ( HUHU ^^) so stay tuned! Also please give me some feedback on bad/good stuff so that I can improve and write better things in the future!
Many hugs (if you want them that is)!