You should have kissed me

You should have pushed me up against the wall

You should have kissed me

I was right on the edge and ready to fall…

Sharon stepped back from the full length mirror and looked at herself She turned from side to side. It was a form fitting dress, and one of her favorites. She had agonized over what dress to wear to the wedding. Sharon strongly believed that there were rules when it came to what to wear to weddings. No attention grabbing colors, nothing white, ivory, or pale pink…all eyes should be on the bride, not on a guest who made a tacky dress decision.

Then the thought crossed her mind – what are the rules of what to wear to a wedding when attending with a subordinate?

She looked at closely at herself in the mirror again. The slate gray dress hugged her body and made her feel…sensual, she decided. Gavin had picked it out for her, and when she stepped out of the dressing room, his comment about her ass making a twenty two year old jealous still made her blush now just recalling it.

The dress was supposed to say His Friend Sharon, not This Dress Would Look Great Next To His Bed. But was it so wrong to wear something that made her feel good?

Yes, this was the dress, she decided. She ran her hand through her hair and checked her make up one last time in the mirror before closing the door behind her.

She smelled something delicious coming from the kitchen, and her stomach rumbled. She hadn't eaten anything since the light salad for lunch, which was right around the time she was kicking herself for agreeing to be Andy's date for his daughter's wedding.

Friend, Sharon corrected herself. You're his buffer. And it wasn't that she was kicking herself because she didn't want to go – she liked weddings. But she had worked so hard to fit in with her team since being with the Major Crimes Unit, and she didn't want even a hint of impropriety.

But when he asked her to go, she found herself agreeing and even after he left her office, she knew that it might have been a bad idea. But, oddly, she didn't care, which was rather unlike her. She was a rule follower, and accompanying Andy to his daughter's wedding was dancing along a fine line professionally.

She entered the kitchen and lightly squeezed Rusty's shoulder on her way to the fridge. "That smells wonderful…"

He turned and grinned at her, and his eyes widened a little when he saw her. Sharon certainly loved shopping and clothes, that he knew, but he was accustomed to seeing her in mostly suits when on her way to or coming home from work, and jeans and comfortable t-shirts at home. Sure, there was the occasional dress, but this…

"You look really great, Sharon." He said, smiling again at her. She smiled and thanked him before he turned back to the stove.

She poured herself a glass of water and studied him as he stood at the stove.

"You have everything you need for tonight?" She asked. He nodded his head as he concentrated on stirring the pasta dish on the stove. Lieutenant Tao was picking Rusty up to spend the night with his son at his house. Having Rusty out of the condo was enough to make Sharon's stomach churn with nerves, but she tried to be fair and sympathize with Rusty's current situation. While he wasn't exactly a "normal" kid before coming to live with Sharon, she did recognize that he was, in fact, a kid, and being a material witness in the murder trial of Phillip Stroh had been hard on him. And then the letters had started, which made the situation much more serious, and they had to add the tight security. Like Sharon, Rusty was a private person, and being watched around the clock was usually unsettling to him. There wasn't a move he made that wasn't being tracked by the security detail assigned to him. He needed a little normalcy, and a sleepover with a boy his age was normal. And Tao's son was a great kid. He and Rusty had a lot in common, the biggest being their love of chess. It would be good for him, and Sharon tried not to worry. The security detail would be tagging along, and that settled Sharon's nerves a little. She also knew that Mike Tao could handle any situation thrown his way. Rusty would be safe there.

Of course, Rusty was not her biological son, but what was biology, anyway? He was her son in every way that mattered. At first, he was a smart mouthed punk who managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and became the one strong tie they had to putting Stroh away for the murders of multiple women. Sharon had just wanted to get the kid on the stand to tell what he saw so they could put that monster away and be done with it. At first, he was a means to an end – he wasn't interested in testifying against Stroh, but the police had him between a rock and a hard place. Rusty was an angry kid, pissed off at life in general and doing things on the streets that no child should ever have to do in order to simply feed himself and survive after his mother got lost in her addictions and abandoned him.

But after working to get past the smart mouth and the tough exterior, Sharon began to really see him, in the brief moments he had allowed her to early on. He was a kid, scared about his current situation and unsure of himself, like most teenage boys. He was wise beyond his years, while at the same time sensitive and introverted.

And then, he had ended up in her custody, and living in her home. Sharon began to find herself feeling extremely protective of this boy as she watched him change and grow and very slowly, trust. He began to look her in the eye during conversations over dinner, and Sharon strived to help him get rid of the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. But why wouldn't he be waiting for it to drop? Every person in his life had just used him or abandoned him, and that pain ran deep through him, even though he tried so hard not to show it. Sharon wanted better for him. He deserved better. Rusty had never felt safe, and hadn't really known what it was like to come home to the same place every night, until Sharon came along. Her simply decorated home was warm and quiet and always smelled good from the candles she liked to burn, which was a far cry from the home he lived in with his mother. That home was usually full of strangers and smelled of dank cigarettes and was littered with beer cans and needles and other drug paraphernalia. Then the eviction notices would be on the door, and he was uprooted again and moved to another crappy apartment, where his mother's addict friends were sure to follow.

And then, he had come home one day, and she was gone. Her things had been packed, no note had been left, and Rusty was alone. Early on, Sharon had read about his history in his file, and had shaken her head at the life this child was forced to lead. But now, knowing Rusty and loving him as strongly as a mother loved her son, her heart ached when she thought back to what was in that file. Never again would Rusty feel helpless and sad, like that child standing alone in a vacant apartment, wondering where his mother was and how he was going to eat. Sharon would see to it. She didn't know what would happen after the trial, but she suspected that Rusty wasn't going anywhere. And with gentle guidance, Sharon would help him figure it out. She always did.

She was shaken from her thoughts by a knock on the door. She cleared her throat, and Rusty smiled to himself. She was nervous. He could tell.

Sharon opened the door and smiled at Andy Flynn. She tried not to notice how good he looked in the dark pinstripe suit. The tie he was wearing added a pop of color, and being a lover of most things clothes, Sharon could certainly appreciate a well-dressed man in a perfectly cut suit. And he certainly knew how to wear a suit, there was no doubt about that.

"Come on in." She stepped aside and he walked through the door, and waved at Rusty, who had settled himself on the couch with a bowl of pasta. Rusty knew he wasn't allowed on the couch with food, but was hoping Sharon wouldn't notice.

As Andy walked by her, his cologne lingered and she also tried to ignore the fact that he smelled amazing. It was another weakness of hers…a sharply dressed man who also smelled good. He was two for two.

"Hey, kid." He smiled at Rusty. Rusty gave him a small wave and turned his attention to the TV as he listened to Sharon and Andy fall into easy conversation by the bar.

He liked Andy okay. He seemed like a nice guy, and he was respectful of Sharon, from what Rusty had seen. At first meeting, Rusty had made it clear that he didn't give a crap about Sharon and her good intentions towards him, because he didn't need anyone to take care of him. He was just fine on his own. But over time, even as he tried his hardest to push her away, it wasn't working because she wasn't leaving. And just as she was seeing who he truly was, in a way, he was seeing her, too. It was an interesting dichotomy, really – at work, she wore the captains mask and didn't take shit from anyone. But at home, dressed down in yoga pants and a t-shirt, she was laid back and genuinely interested in hearing the things he had to say. He hadn't ever experienced that before. Over time, his dislike of Sharon had started to transition to liking her. And then like turned to respect, and while he still got smart sometimes, one look shot his way from her automatically made him want to be better. He didn't want to be that angry kid anymore, but sometimes he slipped back into old habits.

While he would never express it verbally, Rusty found himself never wanting to disappoint Sharon. In his entire life, he had never met someone who would open her home to some kid she barely knew who had, not too long before, been involved in some pretty questionable activities in the parks and in the streets of the city. Not without wanting something in return, anyway. Rusty was wise to the ways of life, and street smart – you never got something without giving something. Or so he thought.

But then Sharon had come along, and while he knew that "giving something" was going to come in the form of testifying against Stroh, Rusty never felt direct pressure from her, and he never was made to feel that staying in her home hinged solely on his testimony against Stroh. Here, in Sharon's home, he was simply allowed to be and there were no strings attached. It was a safety and comfort that he had never known, and Sharon was literally the one constant in his life. She watched out for him, and while he still didn't feel comfortable calling her "mom", he knew that this is what normal mothers did. He still struggled with his own baggage at times, and she understood. She understood that when he was quiet and reserved, it was best to leave him be and wait until he sought her out to talk, and sometimes, maybe he didn't want to talk at all. And even when he initiated conversation, she had a gentle way of approaching him. She wasn't overbearing and opinionated, and gave him her full attention when he was talking. It was one of the many qualities he secretly loved about her.

And as long as Andy treated her right, he was okay by Rusty. He had been spending a lot of time around the Murder Room, under the watchful eye of the team, and he had seen the interactions between Andy and Sharon on a daily basis. Sure, it was always professional, but there was always an underlying…something…between them. Rusty couldn't quite put his finger on it. On a few occasions, he had even caught Lieutenant Provenza staring intently at their interactions and wondered if he saw the same thing.

On his way back from the restroom last week, Rusty overhead Provenza and Andy having a heated conversation in the corridor.

"You asked her to your daughter's wedding?! You idiot!" Provenza's face was red.

"What?" Andy had shrugged. "We're friends! What's the big deal!"

"Oh, what's the big deal!" Provenza mimicked him. "The big deal is…" He stopped when Rusty awkwardly cleared his throat to make his presence known. He didn't say anything and kept right on walking by them. He heard Provenza sigh behind him. Rusty quickly closed the door to the conference room behind him. He didn't know if the conversation continued after that, and he didn't want to know. It wasn't his business.

Sharon grabbed her things and walked behind the couch where Rusty was sitting. She dropped a light kiss onto the top of his head, while still being careful not to linger in his personal space. It had been somewhat recent that Rusty had allowed himself to be hugged or briefly touched by her, but she knew that physical contact sometimes made him uncomfortable.

"We'll talk about eating on the couch later." It sounded so nonchalant, the way she said it, but Rusty knew that when he got home from Tao's tomorrow, she fully intended to have the food on the couch conversation with him. Again. At least his feet weren't on the coffee table this time.

"Did I mention how nice you look?" Rusty said with as much charm as he could possibly muster.

"Nice try, mister."

When Sharon wasn't looking, Andy shot him a sympathetic grin and shrugged. He had been on the receiving end of one of those types of comments from Sharon many times before. And it was usually when he was in trouble. He recognized her tone well.

Before leaving, she reminded him that the officers assigned to him were right outside the door, as if he could forget, and that she would have her phone with her, and could he please text her when got to Tao's, and…Rusty had gently cut her off, told her he would text her, and not to worry – he would be fine.

He watched Andy and Sharon walk out the door, and waited until the door closed behind them before he propped his feet up on the coffee table and turned his attention back to the TV.