Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Wish I did, but you know, I'm not magical or anything.
Summary: When you find someone, sometimes the hardest thing to do is fall in love. When you love someone, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to tell them. When you lose someone, sometimes the hardest thing to do is just accept. My first One Shot, romantic and tragic.
Hey! Okay, so I've been thinking about this for a while. And the beginning may not quite tie in right away, but you'll understand it after a while, 'kay? So keep reading, even when you get confused. Please. Oh, and review at the end! Thanks, and enjoy!!
Better Late Than Never
It is harder than it looks to have a younger sister, especially one who is brilliant, beautiful, and modest.
Hanabi is not a person who can be easily resented, nor easy disliked, someone who I so wished to be. She is the type of person who will see you struggling with fallen books on her way to class and stop to help you, regardless of the amount of time she had to get to class. And once she did reach her class, she was not the type of person who would give excuses for being late because of it; she would apologize for being late and sit down. Hanabi was not the type of person to use the word 'hate'; never would she say she hated someone. She may dislike a few amount of people, but the word hate was a waste of time to her. She saw it as a way for people with low self esteem to lower someone else's self esteem by telling them they hate them. Hanabi was the type of person who thought what to say before she said it, never letting anything inappropriate or hurtful slip through. She always bit her tongue when she felt any need to tell someone off. Hanabi was not one to lie, though. If you asked her an outright question, she would give you her outright answer, never beating around the bush, something I wished I could do. But somehow, even when the truth should hurt, it never seemed to be hurtful coming from her. She was magic like that. Hanabi was the type of girl who was envied but did not know it, even envied by me. She never flaunted her abilities, her perfection, or her beauty. Hanabi could never be hated. Hanabi was full to the brim with love coming from even complete and total strangers she had helped. Hanabi was even favored by our father, the man who saw a perfect little prodigy in his youngest child. Hanabi was who I wished I could be. Even being the older version of her, I could not live up to my own little sister. She never knew how much I wished I could do as she did, never flawing, never making mistakes. Hanabi loved me like a sister should. And sometimes I thought that that was too much.
Hanabi was perfect, and I did not have a prejudice against her for it. But at times I wondered secretly what life for me would have been like had she not been born. Of course, Mother would be alive. Father would love me more. I would be the favorite. I would not look ungraceful and unintelligent next to anyone. I would be the little daughter both my parents would have wanted, never knowing any more than that for there would be no one in their lives to compare me to. My life would be as her's: perfect.
These terrible thoughts always made me appreciate having her, knowing I would be so spoiled if she were not there for me. I loved her, and even though I knew she loved me, I did not deserve it.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
"It is very delicious, Hanabi. Thank you so much for dinner," Father complimented the 14 year-old girl beside me. I kept my head down as I thanked her for dinner, too, knowing that behind Father's compliment for Hanabi was an insult for me.
"You are very welcome, Father, Hinata. Maybe sometime I could show you how to make it, Hinata." Hanabi smiled warmly at me as I nodded at my food, not willing to look her in the face.
"Hinata, you sister is being kind enough to give her own time to show you something new. Thank her," Father commanded, watching me with hawk-like eyes. I straightened up in my seat, throwing my head back, and turned to her.
"Thank you so much, Hanabi. I would appreciate it so much if you were to show me how to make this." Even I could hear the venom in my voice, and I smiled to cover it up, feeling guilty for my envy, yet again. She smiled understandingly, but I saw a trace of guilt in it, too. I shook my head, portraying to her for her to not regret being herself, something I had to remind her of constantly. I reached over and grasped her hand, squeezing it lightly. Father watched in confusion, not understanding the bond between his daughters.
After dinner, I offered to clear off the table. Hanabi helped me.
"I am sorry about dinner, Hinata-" she whispered sincerely.
"I am sorry I was so rude about it. It is not your fault you are so talented, Hanabi. Do not regret it." She nodded sadly, continuing with collecting the dirty dishes off the table. As I put the rest of dinner down the garbage disposal, I watched her lithe moments. Even while doing such an unwanted task as collecting dirty dishes, she could look beautiful doing it. I had to out a stopper on my envy before it could rise. She caught sight of me watching her and flushed a deep red.
"What?" she asked self-consciously. I shook my head.
"Nothing important," I muttered, shaking off my ill feelings toward her.
After the dishes were clean and the table was cleared, I trudged up the stairs to my room, landing on my back on my bed. As if on cue, my phone rang on the separate line I had from the house phone. I picked it up with heavy limbs.
"Hello?" I whispered, exhausted. The voice on the other end immediately sent all my feebleness away, sending butterflies through my stomach. Just like the first time I heard it.
"Hey, Hinata. You sound tired. Did I wake you up?" the male's voice came softly through the phone. I flipped over onto my stomach, crossing my ankles in the air. With my left pointer finger, I twisted my hair continuously.
"No, no. I just had a long day with my family. You know, the usual. So, what's going on?" I asked, a seemingly permanent smile on my face.
"Oh, sorry to hear that. You'll never guess what, though!" Naruto shouted, falling into his usual self. I smiled even wider.
"You got a lifetime supply of ramen?" I asked, waiting for his answer. He was trying to build up the suspense, of course, by asking me to guess. And I played along to make him happy.
"Nope. Close. I wish, though. . . . Guess again." I thought hard, trying to guess what would make him so happy. I looked out my window and caught sight of the snow, just fallen and fluffy.
"Did you go roll in the snow?" I asked. He laughed.
"Yeah, but that's not it! Come on, Hinata, you know this!" he shouted, obviously impatient for me to guess correctly.
"I give up! I have no clue. Tell me," I pleaded.
"No! Come on, you have to guess. Please?" he asked in his innocent voice. I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he could not see it.
"Okay. Last guess though. Um, did you win the lottery?" I put the phone between my ear and shoulder and sat up, playing with the ends of my newly painted fingernails. I could almost hear him shake his head.
"You suck at guessing. I hope you know that," he commented. I smiled again.
"Yeah, I know. So what actually happened?" I asked my best friend.
I could hear his gigantic smile in his voice. "I got a job at Ichiraku!" he exclaimed, his excitement contagious.
"Really? Wow, Naruto, that's amazing!" I agreed, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear.
"I know! Actually, I've had it for a while now, but I wanted to wait till I had a little bit of money saved up before I told anyone."
"Really? Why? What did you save the money up for?" I asked with mild curiosity.
"I have it saved up for a date," he replied simply. My smile fell into a frown.
"O-oh, really? So, Sakura finally accepted?" I asked, my voice growing quieter with every word.
"Naw. I gave up on her a while ago. Besides, Sasuke already took her out on a date. She's never stopped talking about him since." I could hear the disappointment in his voice. "But I did get a date to dinner. Well, I think I have a date to dinner, just as friends. I haven't even asked her yet." I laid down on my back again, staring at the ceiling.
"I am sure she will say yes, Naruto. You are a great guy. Do not use Sakura as an example," I told him, slipping into perfect and proper grammar as I became uncomfortable.
"Well then. Do you want to go to dinner with me, Hinata? I mean, just as friends?" he asked, his tone oh-so serious. I froze, not even blinking in surprise. "I- I, uh, understand if you don't wanna go, but I was just thinking, you know, since you're my best friend and all- You know what, just forget I asked. I'll just cancel, no biggie. Sorry for the shock . . ." he began to backtrack, taking my silence as a 'no'. My mind screamed at me to say something, anything, to get him to stop talking and let him know I would love to go to dinner with him, but my body was unable to move. My lips were so numb, but I willed them to move.
"I-ove-oo," I mumbled, causing him to pause for a second.
"What?" he asked quietly. I cleared my throat, my lips gaining feeling along with the rest of my face.
"I would love to go to dinner, Naruto."
". . .Oh. That's not what I thought you said (A/N: say it out loud and you'll understand). But, fewww. Thank you so much Hinata!" His usual enthusiasm kicked in, and I smiled again, gaining comfort in his comfort. "So . . . It's a date? I mean, a date as friends?" he asked cautiously. My face grew hot and I smiled, losing my breath. A date? With Naruto? Even if it was just as friends . . .
"Yes. It's a date," I whispered.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
"You look beautiful, Hinata," Hanabi whispered, smiling warmly as she put the last bobby pin in my hair. I breathed in, letting her words sink in. I wasn't like Hanabi. I didn't have the perfect skin tone, the perfect eyes, the perfect lips like her. I didn't have the intelligence, the genius, the brains like her. I didn't have the golden heart, the caring whim, the sweet smile like her. I wasn't like her, no matter how much I wished I was.
I stood up, admiring my little sister's handiwork. She had also picked out the outfit, done my make-up, and let me borrow her large hoop earrings- all things I didn't have, nor could I pick out on my own. I loved her dearly, and she loved having me as her doll.
"Hinata, he's here," Hanabi said, peeking through my closed curtains. I took a deep breath, inhaling too much of the perfume I was wearing, causing me to cough. My eyes began to water and, quickly, I looked up to the ceiling with wide eyes, hoping to avoid any moisture smearing my make-up. "Don't get nervous, Hinata. He's your friend, act like this is normal for you two," Hanabi advised. I nodded, trusting my eyes to not water, and looked at her. She was smiling encouragingly.
"But I don't want this to be a 'just friends' date. I really don't," I whined. She approached me and wrapped her arm around my waist, leaning her head on my shoulder. She was a lot taller than I remembered. . . .
"But you don't want it to be uncomfortable, do you?" I shook my head, sighing. "Just be yourself. He obviously loves that about you."
I beamed, not able to hide my contentedness. "Thank you, Hanabi."
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
The silence seemed to tip between awkward and just plain weird as we rode in his silver Corvette to his 'secret location' for out . . . 'date'. Never had I been so uncomfortable with my best friend, and I hated it. I wanted to say something, anything, to break the silence. Nothing came to mind, though.
Naruto seemed to feel the same way, for he fidgeted his fingers on the steering wheel.
"So . . ." he started, taking a deep breath. "You look really nice, Hinata."
I couldn't help it. The compliment just seemed so out of place and proof that he was uncomfortable too, but I burst out laughing, so hard that my eyes began to water. He watched me with a clueless smile as my chuckles subsided to giggles and I wiped below my eyes gingerly. Seeing how hard he was trying to make things more comfortable actually made me comfortable, as if this were just another day for us at school.
"What are you laughing at?" His lips formed a confused smile, and he began to laugh softly, too.
"Nothing. Just something odd." I switched gears, trying to change the subject. "So, what do you have planned?"
"It's a surprise! I already told you that. You can't know until we get there." His smile turned mischievous, and I began to get playfully worried. Ah, the things Naruto could have had set up. I could only imagine the mountain of ramen he could, and probably would, have expected me to eat.
What I didn't expect was what he had prepared.
"We're eating dinner at Chuck E. Cheeses?" I asked with astonishment. All the preparation I had put into this damn dinner and we were dining at the most famous restaurant for kids?
"Well, yeah! Come on, you use to say all the time how you wished you could go to Chuck E. Cheeses," he pointed out.
"Yeah, when I was 7!" I moaned.
"Well, it's better late than never, right?" he asked, rubbing his hand against the back of his head.
I smiled. He always had another surprise up his sleeve.
"Of course. Come on, let's go inside. I'm freezing." He sighed in relief, probably glad I wasn't responding the way Sakura would have: a smack upside the head and a screaming fit.
I had never been to Chuck E. Cheeses, obviously, so when I stepped inside, it was like I was going back to being the small little 7 year-old girl who dreamed night and day about their tunnels and pizza and-
"Ohmigosh, is that Chuck E.?" I gasped, spying the silly mouse costumed guy waltzing toward us as Naruto checked his reservation. They had specially extended their hours for extra, extra money. Extra as in, watching a dancing mouse definitely wasn't free. Naruto heard my exclamation and chuckled, placing a hand on the small of my back and pushing me toward the silly mouse.
"Go say hi," he instructed. I shook my head.
"No way. I have more dignity than that."
"What if I went with you? No one's here to see us," he whispered, grabbing my hand. My face heated up quicker than a fat man runs to cake.
"No! With my luck, it'll end up being someone like Kiba in that costume! He'll tell everyone we were here!" I protested.
"If it's Kiba in the costume, then he'd probably be too embarrassed by being in the costume to tell anyone that we were here. Come on, it's better late than never," he repeated, shoving me again with the hand not intertwined with mine. I took a deep breath, taking my first step towards letting go that night.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
I was laughing so hard that I had to gasp for breath as I plopped down in the seat beside Naruto. He was laughing so hard that his face was red and his eyes were watering. It's amazing how fun chasing someone through those darn tunnels can end up to be. Naruto had whacked his head so hard, he fell back down the steps he had just climbed, and when I had reached him he was crying he was laughing so hard.
"Here you go, you two. Enjoying your time?" the only worker (besides the Chuck E. guy) there asked, placing a large pepperoni pizza in front of Naruto and me. I nodded, trying to catch my breath but failing miserably. I grabbed a slice of pizza and placed it on the lone plate the waitress had just given us as Naruto did the same. It took a while, but both of us finally caught our breath, our laughing subsiding to smiles.
"Aren't you glad I brought you here?" he asked, looking around the gigantic building. I nodded, picking up my slice of pizza and clamping my teeth around it. I shouted in pain even before the hot sensation came, and I yanked the pizza out of my mouth.
"That's why you blow on it first, dummy," he teased, leaning forward and blowing on my slice of pizza which was inches from my face still. I flushed again, realizing how close he was to my face and exactly what he was doing. He seemed to notice, too, and leaned away from me in the small seat we were both sitting at in the booth. I scooted as far away from him as the small seat allowed. We ate in silence as I picked the pepperoni off my pizza and ate them one by one. Naruto noticed my peculiar way of eating and smiled.
"You do know it all goes to the same place, right?" he asked, gesturing to my pizza. I nodded.
"It just tastes better if I eat it piece by piece," I explained. Unexpectedly, he reached over and picked a piece of pepperoni off my pizza, popping it into his mouth. He smiled, yet again.
"You're right. It does."
I laughed, shaking my head at his antics. "I'm glad you're enjoying my pizza."
"You wanna bite of mine?" He held his pizza out to me, offering me an indirect kiss. This thought made my face burn.
"I-I'm fine." I stumbled over my words, turning away from his pizza. He persisted, shoving it closer to my mouth.
"Come on! It's not like I poisoned it or anything," he said, taking another bite to prove it.
He was apparently oblivious to why I didn't want to, so I figured I had nothing to lose, right? I leaned forward, cautious of the temperature of the pizza, and sunk my teeth into it. It seemed to taste ten times better just because he had just taken a bite, too.
"Good, huh?" he asked playfully.
"Oh yes, it's so much better than my pizza," I agreed jokingly.
"I knew it. Now you owe me a bite of yours," he said hopefully.
"What? No, you took one of my pepperoni! Come on, that's not fair," I objected.
"A pepperoni is not equal to a bite, Hinata," he said matter-of-factly.
"It is to me. Maybe not to you, but I eat the pepperoni separately."
"Come on, it's one bite. There's more pizza anyway. Please?" he begged. I found it so odd that he was so intent on eating my pizza. Reluctantly, I held my pizza before his mouth and he took one of the largest bites I'd ever seen.
"Naruto!" I whined.
"I didn't specify how large a bite I was gonna take, and you didn't give me any restrictions," he pointed out. I rolled my eyes.
"You are such a . . ." I paused, looking for the right word, "butt."
"I'm a butt? Oh, ouch. I don't think I'll ever recover from that one, Hinata."
"Whatever. It's true though. You a total butt head."
"Hinata, I've heard better comebacks from a turkey sandwich," he teased.
"Well, I guess I shook look up a turkey sandwich-sensei, huh?" I retorted.
"Hey, you wanna go back into the tunnels?" he asked, already putting down his pizza and scooting toward me to push me off the seat for his escape.
"But we just got the pizza-"
"No one's gonna take it, and besides, I thought it was really hot? It'll be here when we get back. Come on," he insisted, now pressing his body against mine to move me. I jumped out of the seat, feeling something I knew I shouldn't feel because of my best friend at his touch. Not apparent to my discomfort, Naruto grabbed my hand, steering me toward the play place.
My favorite part of the tunnels is the ball pen. As Naruto chased me through the tunnels, I crawled as fast as possible to the ball pen to escape. I dove right in, soon followed by the blonde boy. He caught my ankle and pulled me through the balls, laughing all the while. We sat on top of the balls laughing uncontrollably for no reason until we were informed that it was time to close up. Naruto climbed out first, then turned around to grab my hand and heave me out along with him. I followed him out of the tunnels back to our table where the lady had put a box to take our pizza home in. I sat down as Naruto stood, placing the pizza in the box. Content, I watched Chuck E. walk toward the back, probably ready to take off his costume.
"Here," Naruto offered, holding out a piece of pizza out to me. I took it hungrily and ate it without a care to who was watching me. Naruto chuckled when I finished it, not even halfway done with his own.
"Hold still," he commanded, and I complied. He slowly reached out and swiped the corner of my mouth with his thumb, wiping away residue pizza. His thumb lingered on my lip for an eternal second before he returned it to his pizza, as if nothing had happened. My heart raced erratically and my face was hotter than a sunburn, not to mention I was gasping for breath. "Ready to go?" he asked, unaware of my little spas attack. I nodded numbly as he held my jacket out to me and helped me put it on, the worker lady watching us from behind the front counter.
When I turned around to thank Naruto, he was right there. I mean, literally, right there. His face was close enough that I could feel his breath on my forehead. My heart was freaking out as I pondered what he was about to do. Taking steady breaths, I made myself stay conscious, because I couldn't miss something like this because of a fainting spell.
It was silent, and he made no move at all. He just stood there, staring down at me with an expression of, it almost seemed, pain and angst. Unconsciously, I reached up and placed a hand on his cheek, feeling the heat from his skin against my cool skin.
"Thank you," I whispered. My words seemed to wake him from some sort of dream, and he smiled softly, the sad emotions disappearing from his face.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, Hinata. It was worth it."
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
"You're the one who whacked your head on the top of the tunnel, Naruto," I pointed out with a slight giggle.
"It's not my fault I'm a giant . . ." he muttered. That only made me laugh harder.
"I had so much fun, Naruto. Thanks for taking me. Like you said, it's better late than never." Instinctively, I reached across the car seat and stroked the back of his hand, rested on the seat beside him. When my fingers touched his skin, he turned his hand over and grabbed my hand, flashing me a grin from the driver's seat. I bit my bottom lip, the heat rushing to my face yet again. I wondered capriciously how long it would take for me to get use to him.
The sudden pull on my arm made me turn to Naruto as he stopped at a red light. "Come here." For some reason, I immediately understood what he wanted and unbuckled my seat belt. He intertwined our fingers as I scooted next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder.
"How long?" he asked spontaneously. This, I did not understand.
"Hmm?" I hummed cheerfully.
He coughed. "How . . . how long have you liked me?" he whispered. I thought about it, trying to remember the first time I saw him.
"My first day of school in kindergarten. You were so boisterous, so light-hearted. I fell in love." I realized too late what I had just admitted. 'I-I mean, I-I liked you from the start," I stuttered.
"And I'm just realizing this now? Wow, I'm a little slow, huh?" he whispered, leaning his head against mine as the light turned to green.
"It's better late than never," I quoted his favorite saying. He chuckled.
"I guess."
The rest of the ride was spent in a comfortable silence, not weird or tense in any way. I removed my shoes and brought my feat beside me on the seat, getting comfortable. Just when I began to feel in happy, my phone rang.
"Sorry, Naruto. Hold on a second, it's my dad. . . . Hello?"
"Hinata, where are you?" he demanded, fury rising in his voice.
"Father, I told you, she's with a friend-" I could hear Hanabi say in the background.
"I'm with Naruto," I explained hurriedly.
"I have told you before of my dislike for him," Father said curtly.
"And I've told you I don't care," I snapped. The other end was silent until Hanabi demanded the phone from Father.
"Hey, Hinata?" Naruto whispered. I turned to him, listening for someone to begin talking to me from the other end. "I'm gonna swing inside my place really quick, let you talk in private, okay?" I nodded, smiling at him as he pulled into the driveway and got out, leaving the car running.
"Hinata? Are you-" Hanabi began, but was cut off by the phone being snatched away.
"Hinata, you need to come home right now," Father told me, authority ringing in his voice.
"No," I replied simply.
"Excuse me? I am your father and what I say goes as long as you live under my roof-"
"Then I'm moving out," I offered, not bothering to be mad. My coolness only frustrated my father further.
"That is not an option. You are my daughter and I will tell you if you can move out or not."
This triggered my anger. "I am not your slave, and I am a legal adult. Plus, I am starting college this fall. You can't tell me I can't move out-"
"I can and I am. And I'm also telling you you may not see Naruto any more-"
"That's just too damn bad."
My thumb pressed the red 'End' button before he could object, and I sighed in frustration. I wasn't willing to go home any time soon, so I turned off Naruto's car and got out, climbing up the stairs to Naruto's apartment. One knock and the door swung open to reveal the warm and familiar living room I loved, along with the boy who had my heart.
"What's wrong?" he asked, opening the door all the way to let me in. I entered, habitually smiling at the comfort his apartment always brought me.
Before I knew it, Naruto's cool hand rested on my cheek and his lips touched my hair. I'm sure his hand was burned by the heat my cheek was emitting, but he didn't react to it.
"What's wrong?" he repeated, softer this time. I studied his brilliant blue eyes and his soft features of his face, my eyes lingering on his red lips.
"My father . . . doesn't understand that I'm an adult."
We were moving so fast. Just that morning all he'd been was my best friend. Now, I wasn't sure where we stood. I was unsure if he would freak if listened to my screaming heart telling me to kiss him.
Maybe it was my fault we were moving too fast. Obviously, our first kiss was. Temptation won over moral, and I got on my toes, my lips meeting his. Plus, the screaming thought, "What would Hanabi do?" didn't help much.
He didn't seem to mind. He, at first, didn't respond, and I was about to back off when his hand cupped my cheek, his lips moving against mine. It was a moment of bliss. He was my first kiss. When he pulled away, I opened my eyes slowly, almost afraid to see his angry face. I was shocked when he wasn't angry. He was longing for something.
"Hinata-" he whispered, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat, then tried again. "I love you."
Definitely moving faster than I would have ever imagined. I would have responded so much faster if it hadn't been for our speed. He watched my frozen reaction, waiting, hoping, for my response. So many thoughts ran through my head, and I couldn't decipher which one was my answer. Even though I'd known it from the very first time I met him.
"I love you too."
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
"Are you . . . scared of your first time?" Hanabi asked, her hand cupping her chin as she laid on her stomach on my bed.
"Wh-what?" I asked in surprised.
"You know. Your first time . . . having sex, Hinata."
My face grew hot as I comprehended what she was saying, and my lips formed a perfect 'O'.
"Um, I don't know. I've never really thought about it," I said, trying to distract myself by brushing my hair thoroughly.
"I have. I'm scared, Hinata. What if I think he's the one, but wake up to a cold bed? What if he leaves and we never talk again? I don't want to waste it, Hinata," she confided.
"Neither do I," I confessed. "I think . . . I think you'll know, though. Your heart will tell you, not your hormones. You'll know that he'll never leave you. He'll tell you he loves you, even when you're in sweat pants and haven't showered yet that day. He'll tell you there's nothing else in the world that he'd rather do than spend time with you, even when his friends are going out to . . . to a strip club, or something. He'll hold your hair for you when you're barfing your guts out. He won't be afraid to tell you you're beautiful when his friends are there. You'll know. Never let yourself have anything less, Hanabi. If you don't love every aspect of him, even his flaws, then he's not the one."
We sat in silence as we both pondered me little speech. Somehow, I'd always know that. And only one person was brought to mind as I said it.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
If I thought my first kiss was bliss, my first time was something I would never forget. Nothing in the world could compare to making love to my best friend, the only one who really knew me. There was nothing that could compare. Not my first ice cream, not the memory of my mother's warm touch, not even the first time I met Naruto. Being as close as I'd ever been to him, I understood everything. It was like an insight to his thoughts, to his unrevealed past, to his heart. He was so gentle and loving, every few minutes reminding me that he loved me. I could never have given my virginity to anyone else.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
The first thing that registered in my mind was that my cheek was rested against something warm. I lifted my head and opened my eyes, spotting my best friend, my head rested on his chest. My face didn't turn hot, but a tinge of warmth reached my cheeks as I noticed he was naked. And awake.
The next thing that registered was that I had made love with him, and the memories came swimming in. I smiled in effect, trying to decipher the look on his face.
Then I realized, if he was naked, and we had slept together, I was probably naked too. Glancing down inconspicuously, I confirmed my assumption. My pale skin was bared, not even covered by a blanket. I wasn't cold, pressed against his warm body, but I didn't want him to see me naked. But he probably already had, since, you know . . . Trying not to bother Naruto, I grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and covered myself. He smiled softly at my modesty.
"I love you," he whispered. I smiled in response, kissing his jaw line, all that I could reach from where I lay.
"I love you too, Naruto," I whispered against his chest. Never before had I felt so content.
Then Naruto pulled me into his lap, cradling me against his chest as the blanket slipped off of me.
"I really love you." I kissed his now reachable lips, portraying my feelings through that one gesture. "I have to go to town really quickly," he whispered against my cheek, his lips moving against my skin. I tried unsuccessfully to repress a shiver down my spine.
"You'll be back?" I asked.
"I promise. I wanted to make sure you were awake before I left, so that you didn't wake up and think I had left if I was still gone," he explained.
I inhaled his smell, sweet and seductive, exhaling loudly. "Okay. If you promise to be back soon."
"I promise." With that, he kissed my forehead, my nose, my chin, then my lips, then climbed out of bed, covering me in the blanket again. I watched him pull his clothes on again and grab a jacket, kissing me one more time before he turned and left.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
I waited patiently. Extremely patiently. But when it took him over an hour to come home from only a few blocks away, I could feel my eyes sting with the reaction to rejection. I thought he loved me. I thought he was the one. But, just like any stupid teenage girl, I fell for a stupid teenage guy who I didn't mean a damn to.
I sat up, holding the blanket to my chest with one hand and my cell phone in the other. It rang and rang and rang, but he didn't answer. Then I resorted to calling Hanabi.
"Hello?" she asked groggily. It was excessively hard to speak coherently as I tried to suppress my sobs.
"He's gone," I whispered. I could hear her bed creak as she sat up on the other end of the line.
"Who's gone?" she asked, more awake.
"Naruto. He left and didn't come back."
"What happened? Did you fight?" she asked, her voice saturated in worry.
"No. He said he loved me and left. And didn't come back," I said through the tears, a lump forming in my throat.
"He said he loved you? What happened last night?" she asked softly, getting ready for my explanation.
"We made love," I said, spilling everything. "He said he loved me and . . . it all just . . . happened. I mean, I don't re-regret it o-or anything . . . " I said, the sobs become more and more obvious to Hanabi.
"And?" she whispered, encouraging me to continue.
"I woke up, and he said he loved me and that he w-was going to t-town. H-he promised h-he'd come back. He promised . . ." I whined, my volume reducing to less than a whisper.
"Oh, Hinata . . ." she said sympathetically.
"He hasn't c-come back yet," I continued.
"I don't think he left you alone on purpose. Maybe something happened," she suggested.
"He won't answer his phone," I said, shooting that idea.
It was silent for a while as I cried into the phone. I wanted so badly to go back a few hours, just before everything unraveled.
"I'll be right there," she whispered. I shook my head before realizing she couldn't see it.
"No, I'll be right there," I replied, shutting my phone and getting out of the bed. I got dressed numbly, berating myself for falling for this. When I was dressed and had all my things, I shut off the lights and locked the door behind me, leaving a note with 8 simple words on it on his counter.
I drove cautiously, having trouble seeing through my tears. It was pitch black out and for the first time since I woke up, I checked the clock. It read 2:46 A.M. It had been barely 6 hours since I left my heart in someone else's hands.
I wasn't going very fast, hence I didn't really need to slow down when I spotted the ambulance lights. I got closer to the collision and saw two police cars and a wreckage of two other cars. My heart skipped several beats when I recognized the silver Corvette. I stomped on the breaks and threw open my door when I reached the wreck, sprinting to the crash.
"What happened?!" I screamed to the nearest police officer from behind the yellow tape. He informed me that he had everything taken care of and for me to back off. "That's my boyfriend's car!" I screamed, pointing the silver one. The officer seemed to mentally debate what to do, and resolved to tell me what had happened.
"The truck driver was drunk. He crashed into the owner of the silver Corvette only about 15 minutes ago," he explained.
"Naruto! What about the drivers?!" I screamed, nearing hysterics.
"Calm down ma'am. They're being taken care of."
"But, my boyfriend- please, the driver of the silver one, what did he look like? Was he really hurt?" I begged. Then, the look I recognized from the night my mother died flashed across his face. "No . . ."
"I'm sorry. We . . . we tried. But . . . well, as far as I've been notified . . . he was pronounced dead on the scene."
Theses words echoed in my head, and I immediately rejected them.
"No. No, no, no. No, that's not possible. He promised to come back. He promised. He said he loved me . . ." I mumbled psychotically.
"I'm sorry ma'am. Would . . . I know I'm not suppose to do this, but, would you like to go see him?" he offered. I seized the chance, nodding as he led me to the ugly scene. Maybe he had confused the two drivers. Maybe this wasn't Naruto's car. Maybe I hadn't woken up yet. Maybe . . .
As I reached the ambulance, I immediately recognized the flash of blond hair on the stretcher. Not bothering to ask, I jumped in and craned my neck, standing on my toes, to see his lifeless body over the heads of the medics. His eyes were open, staring at nothing in particular. The medics tried to pry me away, and the officer that let me in was telling me to get out. I refused to go, screaming for him, hoping to the Lord that he would respond. I cried, clawing my way to his body, till I finally reached it, clinging to it like he was my lifeline. And he was.
"Naruto! Naruto, please!" I screamed. The medics pulled at my body and gave me soothing words as I screamed and cried some more.
"Ma'am! We have to get him cleaned up!"
"He's dead, dammit! Just leave him alone!" I screamed, batting off the medics by flailing my arms. "Just let me look at him, please!" I begged.
"Hinata, come here," a familiar voice cooed to me. I turned, still clinging to Naruto's hand, to see Hanabi standing right outside the ambulance. "Come here. He needs to be cleaned up. You can see him later. I have something for you. Come here," she begged, her outstretched arms welcoming. I glanced at Naruto's body, and for some reason, I knew he would want me to go to Hanabi. Numbly, I let the medics steer me out, to be wrapped in Hanabi's familiar hug.
"They said that this was with him when they found him," she whispered, pressing something into my palm. I looked to see a black velvet box. Opening it hastily, it revealed a silver ring. I pulled it out slowly, turning it over and over between my pointer fingers and thumbs. On the inside read the familiar saying, "Better Late Than Never", and " I love you, Hinata".
The whole reason that he'd gone to town was to get the ring engraved.
I slipped it on, swearing to never take it off.
I didn't care why or how Hanabi was there. I didn't even bother to ask. I just cried. I cried until I was sure I was dehydrated. I cried tearlessly until I was sure I was out of breath. Then I cried the tears that Naruto could cry no longer.
~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~o~~~~~
With my jaw clenched tight, I watched as they lowered the coffin directly into the ground. My hand was tightly intertwined with Hanabi's. I found myself unable to cry as I clutched the note with 8 words in my other hand. The minister asked if anyone had a few words that they wanted to say, and I immediately let go of Hanabi's hand, my intention unclear. I had no clue what to say. How could I portray my love for this boy? He'd always been there for me as my best friend, and, most recently, my lover. I couldn't decide the best words to say, to show him that I was at least glad to know that he loved me, and for him to go with the thought that he knew I loved him.
Nearing the hole they had dug for my best friend, I stood looking down onto the coffin. His lifeless body was just below the surface of the wood, but I knew he could see me from above. My hand loosened on the note in my hand, and I watched the words shrink as they floated down to Naruto.
I will always love you.
No matter what.
Only 4 words came to mind when I struggled to find my voice. Swallowing the lump that formed in my throat, I cleared my throat and spoke out loud.
"Better late than never."
Did that make you cry? I teared up when I wrote it. My sister thinks I'm weird for writing something that made me cry, but to me, it has a reason and a moral. How sad though...
Okay, so please review. Anything I get reviews for makes me smile. Whenever I get on and it tells me I have at least one review, I have a reason to continue writing.
How sad is that?
Anyway, so please review, hope you liked it, ya, you all know.
~AnaMarie
愛と知恵