Fade.

The flaming red sun was falling through the grey window blinds and casting vermillion coloured rectangles upon the wall. Elena stepped into the fading light and let the burnt orange tint cover her skin. She closed her eyes and thought about the evening ahead. There were always expectations when she went out, whether she liked it or not, that is why she preferred to think about them clearly rather than let them roam free in her mind. All she wanted was to finally be noticed by someone. Caroline and her had gone to 'The Quarter' every single Friday night and sometimes after university for drinks, but not one time, had she caught someone's eye. She could not listen to any more of the songs she liked, because they overwhelmed her with desire. For a second Elena held her hand on her black velvet choker and thought about someone tearing it off as they were fucking. Then she awoke from her haze and gulped down the rest of her vodka lemonade.

Outside the bar was a crowd of smokers and as she and Caroline passed, Elena noticed how Caroline purposely slid through a group of men in leather jackets, as closely as she possibly could. Elena wished she could do that. She wished she could be so confident about her sexuality. She did not even dress the part. Caroline wore a little coal coloured dress, practically a slip, vampy red lipstick and a generous amount of black eyeliner. Elena admired every part of her. Meanwhile she wore a black and white striped top, a short black skirt and had wine coloured lips. She knew she looked good, but she was not as magnetic. The bar was full to the brim with people already high and drunk, swaying to the slow, dark melody.

"Drinks?"

"Get one for me, please," Caroline said in her ear as she was already moving away from Elena towards Klaus. Klaus was most likely a dealer. He only talked to Caroline when they accidentally met on nights out and he would then take her to seedy hotels and had introduced her to his friends who were just as seedy. Caroline was adamant that she felt nothing for him and that them sleeping together was just for fun on both sides. Elena knew better. She saw the way Caroline looked at him. She knew because it was something that she wanted for herself.

"What should I get you?" Elena shouted but Caroline could not hear her and just shrugged her shoulders.

Avoiding the spilt beer on the table, Elena leaned over the counter and ordered two beers and a shot of vodka. Alcohol was her toxin, as she had never tried drugs and did not really want to. She had an addictive personality and as such was sure that she would not be able to stop once she started. While she waited she looked around at the people who had gathered there. There was no other colour but black and grey on everyone there, except for the indigo blue stage light which passed over the faces of a couple of people within the crowd. As she turned back to pay for her drinks, she noticed a new face next to her. In the darkness she could hardly make out his features, but could nonetheless see the reflection of the vague light in his eyes. They made ants crawl all over her body as her hair stood on end. He was looking straight into her own.

"Thank you," Elena smiled at the bartender, quickly downed her shot and turned to go to Caroline. Then she felt a hand catch her arm. She saw him say something to her, but she could not hear him. Then he held his hand up to his lips and pretended to smoke. Elena nodded. She went up to Caroline, gave her the beer, caught Klaus' look of mild desire and then went back to the bar. He was still there. Elena was almost sure he would not be. She started walking towards the front entrance, when he pulled her back, took her hand and led her towards the back. Elena knew there was an alley back there, where those who smoked something illegal or shot up would go. At that moment she could not act on her instinct and free herself from his grip.

There were only a couple of junkies out there. The air shot some sense into Elena. The night was warm, but mild. Outside in the streetlight she finally saw what he looked like. The eyes were just as prominent as before, set against pale skin and a face sculpted almost frighteningly sharply. He wore tight black jeans and a t-shirt of the same colour. He pulled out 'Lucky Strikes'.

"Cigarette?" Elena took one and smiled, still not knowing what to say, "Don't take this the wrong way, but are you even twenty-one?"

"Yes. Why?"

"You look scared to be here. As if someone was going to either kick you out or you're just not used to a place like this,"

"I actually come here every week,"

"Mhm," He nodded and laughed.

"I'm Elena,"

He laughed again.

"Nice to meet you, Elena,"

To add to her anxiousness the three other people who were there with them all went back inside. Elena could feel her breathing become irregular. She could not say a word, because she did not know how to talk to someone like him. He looked a lot like Klaus, except mysterious, while Klaus was just sleazy. Elena had never even really spoken to Klaus. They smoked their cigarettes and threw them away. Before Elena could even consider going back inside, he was pressed against her and pushed her towards the red brick wall. He kissed her neck, biting it slightly and held her waist, pulling it closer to him, while Elena tried to understand what she wanted.

"Wait. Not now," Was all she could think of.

"What the hell? When?"

"Let's have something more to drink,"

He did not look angry, but she could feel his disappointment. More importantly she could feel her own, because she knew that she wanted him. Something was not right however. They went back into the bar and Elena ordered a double vodka and coke.

"You didn't tell me your name," She shouted over the music played in between bands. The Cranberries 'Zombie'. A song Elena loved beyond and without a reason. He smiled about what she had said but in a way which hurt her.

"I didn't think I'd have to," Once she heard it, it became blatantly obvious to Elena that this was what had not worked. She had no objections to a one-night stand as a concept or even casual sex, but she could already feel that she liked him more than she should. When she was against the wall, her thoughts had rushed through her head faster than cars on a highway, but one of them had been along the lines of; 'If this happens, I will never see him again'. She probably would not in any case, but there was a sliver of hope.

They drank several drinks as Elena mostly listened to the music, since it was impossible to talk and she knew that he was not interested in that anyway. She felt him suddenly stand behind her and place his arm around her, as he kissed her exposed shoulder and brought his hand up to her neck.

"Let's get out of here,"

They did, after Elena told Caroline she most likely would not be back. Elena wanted this.

Two streets away was a hotel. As they approached it, because she was letting him lead, Elena thought that there was almost no chance that Caroline had not been there. The interior was old fashioned, mostly from the sixties, and run down. The hotel clerk was an old lady, who dressed the part of someone from the era. Her grey streaks were combed into a beehive, her eyeliner was doubled, her fingernails long and pink. She looked them over with an amused expression as he paid for the room.

The bedsheets were grey while the rest of the room was in yellowish tones. There was an ashtray an a clock on the bedside table. A large window which was left open to air out the room. A blinding overhead light struck them as they entered the room itself. He immediately switched it off, turning on the small triangular lamp by the bed. Once again offering Elena a cigarette, which she accepted, he walked to the window and inhaled the smoke powerfully.

"You can have something from the minibar, if you want," He said as he looked over at her, "Looks like you need it,"

"Thanks, but no thanks,"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, we kind of came here together,"

"I just don't get it. You don't look like you want to be here," He said as he closed the window, "Not that I want to make you leave,"

"I,"

"Did you just have a horrible breakup or something? Are you self-destructing now?"

"What?" Elena felt herself get riled up.

"Don't mind me. Just observations. You look like a good girl, while you don't drink like one, and those puppy eyes ... It's just funny, that's all,"

Elena's confidence plummeted, even though she had little to begin with. Everything began to fade to grey as she felt tears rise in her eyes. She would not let him see her cry. Everything he was saying right now, was everything she already knew. She had always been under Caroline's wing, because she did not fit in otherwise, as much as she wanted to. She had sincerely hoped that after high school that would end. It did not. The worst part of it was that every single person saw it and that is why she had never even gotten to this point with a man on nights out. They all saw her good side, when she was much more than that. She had been good, she had been through a nice and simple relationship, but she had been so bored and unimpressed that, for better or for worse, she needed to know this world. Nobody had told her so openly that she did not fit in before, not even Caroline.

"Clearly, this is not going well. I think I'm going to leave," Elena finally said as she composed herself. She was still hesitant.

He walked up to her and placed his hands on her waist softly.

"Don't be so sensitive. I was just joking,"

Elena wanted to slap him, but instead she dug her hands into his back and kissed him as passionately as she could.

"God, I want to fuck you," He said as he caught her hair.

As she kissed his lips and his neck, she undid his jeans and pulled up his shirt, scratching his chest. He threw her on the bed and took off her top. Elena had not worn a bra, so she was immediately left exposed as he passed his hands over her breasts, kissing them while raising up her skirt. He removed his trousers, took out a condom from the pocket and after putting it on, got back on the bed. He turned Elena over roughly and removed her underwear. A second later, she could feel him inside her and, as he began to move, he did it strongly. Elena clutched the sheets while he put his hands on her breasts and then neck. He then pulled out and turned her on her back. He took her hands and put them above her head, holding them down, as he entered her again.

"Harder, " Elena breathed in his ear.

"I thought I was doing an okay job at that,"

"Don't think I'm afraid,"

He became even rougher, kissing her neck, leaving love bites as he held on to her nape. The thrusting became so powerful that Elena felt like she was moments away from coming. She passed her hands over his back before she dug her nails into it. As she did, he came.

For a moment, he lay on top of her resting his head on the pillow by the side of her head. As he raised his head and looked at her, he shook it and laughed lightly.

"Ok. That I did not expect," He said as he walked over to the window to open it once again. They both lit up their cigarettes as he sat back down on the bed. Elena put the ashtray between them. When he had walked to the window, she had felt the urge to cover herself with the dusty sheet, but she purposely did not. She knew she should not be ashamed of her body, and besides he had already seen it.

"I know there may be no point, but will you just tell me your name?"

"Damon,"

"Why did you decide to reveal it now?"

"Because you asked,"

"Don't try to tell me I'm the only one that has,"

"It doesn't happen often. I usually go home with girls who care or rather don't just about as much as I do,"

"That almost felt like an insult,"

"That I'm insinuating that you care?" Elena nodded, "Do you?"

"To some extent. I'm not completely emotionless. We did just sleep together. I just thought it would be decent to know your name,"

"Decent. I don't really associate well with that word,"

"It's strange that I've never seen you at 'The Quarter' before, since I assume you've been there,"

"Well I've never seen you either. Even though we live in a small world, it may still take time for people to meet,"

"Then again I do feel like I have seen you before. Ignore what I said,"

"Oh, have you!" Damon laughed, "Never wanted to come up to me is that right?"

"I prefer to let someone else make the first move,"

"Not how it happened right here,"

Elena could not really respond to that. That's what happens when you are attracted to someone powerfully - it changes you.

"Do you regret it?" He asked her.

"No, not at all,"

"Good, because that would make me feel like shit,"

"I should probably get going," Elena said as she picked up the small alarm clock which sat on the bedside table, "Do you think we'll ever see each other at the bar again?"

"Very likely,"

Elena had asked that with another question in mind, but she did not want to pose it now. In truth she did not know how she felt about him at all.

They parted at the door of the hotel. Beyond a goodbye, nothing else was exchanged. Elena made her way home. Her room was quiet, but her ears were still ringing from the music and her own heart. She put on one of her tapes and turned the volume down. The Eagles' 'Hotel California' faintly filled the disturbing silence. Elena sat down on her bed and looked outside of the window. It was close to three in the morning. The sky was still dark, but she felt as though any moment the sun would burst upwards from the horizon and she would be drawn out of the fantasy she was still living. The expectation had become reality. It may not have been perfect, but even when she was thinking of it, she did not want it to be. All she had wanted was to be with someone, even for a moment, who felt a desire for passion to the extent that she did. She had felt it in Damon. Perhaps she looked like a good girl on the outside, but was fiery within, but for him it was not the exact opposite, but close to it. Then again she could be wrong, they had only spent a few hours together. However she knew that she would not stop thinking about him until her head would fall onto the pillow and her mind would drift off to sleep.

/

Melted ice cream dripped down cones, lemonade stands appeared and nobody wore anything longer than shorts during the day. It was a sweltering spring day, which warned of the coming summer. Elena and Caroline worked in a hotel bar on some days. The hotel was called 'Hotel Ivory '. This particular evening was slow, except for the regular customer. A man with a mustache and a wedding ring, who met a woman there every Monday and Thursday. He always ordered a gin and tonic in a tall class. A rosé wine for the woman, who only ever drank a sip of it. While Caroline read the weekly horoscope, of everyone who was working, aloud, Elena sat at the counter and drifted off into her fantasies. It was a Thursday and they were going out later that night, which was unusual for them. Caroline had been persuaded by Klaus to go to one of his parties and she in turn had persuaded Elena.

The strong sunshine and heat had made Elena feel miserable and all she had wanted was for it to be night-time again. All she wanted was to see Damon again. Not to talk to him, but just to make sure that he existed, that it had happened. Since that night only a week ago, her confidence had exploded. While he had made snide remarks about her not fitting in, he had not said a bad word about her in bed. Just as she began to truly embrace these waves of thoughts which brought Damon along with them, someone walked into the bar.

"Stefan, hey," Caroline jumped off her seat as she saw him.

"Hi!" He kissed her cheek, "I just came by to give you the spare house keys. Liz told me to give them to you since you left yours at home,"

"Thank you. Life saver. I wouldn't want to wake her up when I get back,"

"You going out tonight?" Elena felt every part of her body suddenly freeze as she was afraid that Caroline would feel bad and invite him along.

"Yes, my friend is having a party," She smiled, "You can come along if you want,"

"No, thanks," Stefan looked at Elena, "But have fun," He gave Caroline a hug, before walking over to Elena, "Hi, can we talk?"

"Sure,"

They walked outside into the hot, stuffy air of the balcony.

"How are you?"

"I'm great. You?"

"Yes, me too," He hesitated, "Elena, I miss you. I wish you would come to your senses,"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did we end this? You never did give me a reason,"

"Stefan, it's been more than two months,"

"Well, we were together for two years, I think it warrants a reason,"

"I … I tried to tell you and whatever I said, you agreed with me. Everything had become so very routine,"

"I know. And I've thought about it and I think we can change that,"

"I don't think we can. You need to move on,"

"Did you just want to sleep around?"

"What?"

"Well you're going to 'The Quarter' every week. Caroline, she's always been that way, but that's not a place for you,"

"Why does everyone suddenly think they know what is or isn't for me?" Elena raised her voice, "I like it there. It's not the happy-go-lucky bullshit that's everywhere else. Yes, some of the people who go there are junkies, alcoholics or one step away from suicide, but it's something I can relate to right now," She turned to go back inside, "And the fact that you did not notice that and can't see it now is the reason why we can no longer be together,"

"That was harsh,"

"It's the truth,"

Everyone was in their dorm rooms as Elena returned after work and before the party. Her room was a wreck of half-drunk glasses, clothes, a volcano of tapes on the floor and a bed which had not had the pleasure of being made in at least a month. She quickly got to changing her clothes, but suddenly stopped. An overwhelming feeling of sadness hit her right in the heart and she could not move. She had not seen Stefan for a while and he had brought it all back again. Two years of playing the role of the perfect girlfriend, the nice girl, but she had still not made herself believe it. Above all she did not want to be a disappointment, but there was no one left to disappoint. Her parents had died when she was little, her brother studied half a world away, Caroline had always been there, but at the same time she had so many other people in her life that their friendship was not proportional. That is why Stefan had been so important. She wanted to love him beyond words, but she could not, and she realised it when it was too late. Elena walked over to her dresser and took out an envelope of photos.

'The Greatest Hits of 1994' were playing in the background as she looked at the glossy pictures. They were all so generically happy. Here they were at the carnival, here they were in London, here they were with Caroline and her then boyfriend Matt. That may have been a way to survive, but it was not living. The moment she thought that to herself, she remembered Damon. However as she remembered him, she also noticed something else. A resemblance and then it struck her that she had not seen him in the bar before, but in pictures. When she finally understood what she had realised, Elena felt even more of a need to go out and drink her sorrows away.