The Most Shitteous Craptastic Cuddlecock Crack Contest 2009

Title of your entry: Incidents

Penname: Gabbysway2

Pairing: Edward & Bella

Summary: Same reluctant Edward, all human and Bella still doesn't birthday parties. Bella & Edward are in high school and instead of the birthday party he decides to give her what she really wants. (Point of view changes) Rated MA for mature content and language.

I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. SM IS THE QUEEN & I'M JUST HAVING FUN.

BPOV

"Are you sure you want to go?"

"Yes."

"I mean really sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok, they went shopping and to a dinner after that."

I smiled and held his hand tighter. "So that will give us a lot of free time….what are we going to do?" I wiggled my eyesbrows when I asked the question.

"I dunno," he looked away perpously and tried to stare at the road as much as possible. He was nervous I could see it. I let go of his hand and started to run my fingers up his arm on to his shoulder and then the back of his neck. When I started to play with his ear he almost ran off the road.

"hahaha"

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?"

"You always say you can beat me at driving anytime"

"well, you don't have to drive while I'm touching you."

"Yeah, well, I kind of wish I did if that would make you do it." We were already in the drive way otherwise we might have had another incident. His eyes bugged out and a satisfied smile was dancing on my face.

"lEts go inside."

When we walked into the inmense white house, it was odd how quiet it was; usually Alice made a club sound quiet in comparison. It seemed eerie now that it was all empty but I had some ideas to make some noise. Edward brought me back to reality when he asked if I wanted to drink something.

"Sure, a coke will be fine. "

I walked up to his room while he was getting our drinks.

EPOV

"Bella!"

"I'm up here in your room!"

She was in my room, probably on my bed. That was his plan in the first place, the reason why I brought her home to celebrate but now I couldn't find the courage to do it. What if I sucked? Or if I hurt her and she didn't want to do it again? I didn't think I could handle that. I had to do something fast. That's when I remembered Carlisle's cognac. That would certainly do the trick. Last time Carlisle had given me a taste my mother had been pissed but my stepdad was way cooler. He said it was just so I would learn how to drink properly and not make a fool of myself. I didn't really liked it but I remembered that night ,when Bella came home with Alice from shopping , I got to third base for the first time because I felt confident.

"Fuck Cullen! You got to stop being such a pussy!" I started to walk upstairs to my room but stopped when I passed Carlisle's office. I shook his head, "I can do this. I can do this." I started to walk away and turned back. "Fuck! No, I can't."

Bella will start wondering where I am soon.

"Edward?"

I almost dropped the bottle when I heard her. I was taking my third glass when she came in. I didn't plan on taking so many, it's just that when I drank the first I didn't feel the effects immediately so I thought it didn't work. So then I drank the second but by the time I did, I was already feeling the first one, so I though one more would help more and now I was burning. Bella had startled me as I sipped the last of it.

BPOV

"Edward, what are you doing?"

He smiled and walked unsteadily towards ME, he managed to place the bottle and the glass on the desk on the way. He was smiling widely and he looked flushed.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" He reached for my left arm but missed and ended up holding my right hand.

"Are you drunk?"

"Nooo…Come here" He pulled me closely and started to kiss my neck and jaw. His hands started to move across my body.

"Edward, you're drunk. We can't do this when you're like this." I started to giggle because if I really thought about it, I knew this was probably my best change to get him to do it.

"What? You don't want to take advantage of me?" Now he was the one wiggling his brows when said the last part.

"Believe me, I would love to take advantage of you." I said between giggles, "that's probably the only way I'm going to get some action."

"Then what's the hold up?" He said as he slapped my ass."We have the house all to ourselves, that's why I brought you here to celebrate your birthday." He kept kissing my neck and held me closer to him.

"Oh, really?"

"Mm-hmm"

"Oh, well since you planned it all out we really can't let it go to waste. " I started to walk to toward the desk and pulled him along. When I sat on the desk and pulled him between her legs. "So, is this stuff any good?" I lifted the cognac bottle. He made a face and I started to pour some on the glass. "I need to catch up to you so that you can't say I took advantage of you"

When she said that, he cupped her left cheek and stroked it softly. "You can take advantage of me anytime you want."

"Promise?" I asked with a wicked smile but waited for his answer before drinking. He nodded without taking his eyes of mine. "Ugh, that was horrible." I put the glass on the side and kissed him. "At least now we taste the same. Oh and I'm going to make sure to remind you about that from now on."

We started making out heavily and I pulled him closer with my legs. His hands started to lift my shirt and I wasn't sure if it was the effect of the drinks or the fact that I wanted him so much but I wanted to rip his clothes off. He traced my body slowly, until he reached my breasts but instead of stopping as he usually did; he lifted the cups of my bra up and started to fondle them. His touch wasn't careful either; he wanted it and he was showing me how much he always wanted to do it. When I started to moan at his touch he pulled on my nipples and I bit his lower lip. He groaned and did it again.

"You better be ready to finished what you started 'cause I'm not letting you off the hook this time Edward." He took my face in his hands and kissed me fiercely leaving no doubt in my mind that he had every intention to finish. Then he lifted my shirt over my head and started to swear when he couldn't open the clasp of her bra. If it wasn't so frustrating, I think I would have started to laugh, the one time when he was actually trying to do something he couldn't even open it.

"Let me." I took over and threw it to the side. His mouth was covering me before I could get a grip on him and the sensation made me arch my back at the same time that my arms flew backwards, spilling the cognac and dropping the desk lamp. He pushed me down so that I would be on her back. He towered over me and I started to lift his shirt. "Take this off before I rip it off!"

He had a cocky smirk on his face the whole time but obliged me almost as soon as I asked by throwing his shirt next to my pile of clothes. He leaned over me again but this time he moved his hand up my tight, into my skirt. He slid his fingers into my panties and ran his thumb against my sleek core.

"Mmmm Bella"

I whimpered at his touch. He lifted my skirt and pulled my panties to the side before he leaned down to kiss me. I yelped when I felt his lips there but he circled my right leg with his arm to hold me still. He pressed his tongue at the center of my heat and started to move it up and down slowly. "I can't believe I waited so long to taste you. "

"Edward please" I could barely breathe when he stood up and started to pull my panties off. I sat up and pulled him to me. His pants were off in seconds and he surprised when he pulled a condom out of his back pocket. HE HAD PLANNED THIS. We both blushed when he tried to put the condom on and I helped him. He was in me in one trust. I took my breath away, yes it hurt at first, but the feeling of him was amazing.

His breathing was accelerating and I could feel his stomach muscles clench. I was holding on tightly to him and he pulled me down on my back again. He tried to push himself up the desk with his knee so that he could be on top of me completely but his knee slipped, scrapping him up to his tight. The movement startled me and I loosened my grip making him loose his balance. He fell down but he tried to hold on to the desk by leaning forward and he ended up hitting his head with the edge.

I got off the desk and ran immediately to his side. "Oh my gosh, you're bleeding!" I grabbed my shirt and started to help him up. We had just gotten up when we heard Emmett's jeep pull up on the driveway.

"What the fuck is Emmett doing here?!"

"I thought you said they were going to be out for a long time?"

"Shit. We have to get out of here before he comes up."

I grabbed all our stuff and we were up the second set of stairs when we heard the door open and his booming laugh followed by the rest of the Cullen's. I was starting to feel dizzy from the smell of Edward's blood but we manage to make it to his room. I opened the window and helped him get dressed. I borrowed one of his t-shirts and started to walk back to his restroom to look for bandages and alcohol.

"Edward! We brought Italian!" Esme called from the living room.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to clean you up. "

"It's not a big cut, see it already stopped bleeding."

"I still need to clean your face, I'll be right back." He was lying on the bed when I came back and he looked sad. "Does it hurt a lot?"

He looked at me, "I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this."

I started to laugh really hard and he looked at me like I was crazy. "Look, I'm glad it happened I was starting to think at the pace we were going, it never would." He started to laugh to and I kissed him. I was cleaning his forehead when we both heard Carlisle.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN MY OFFICE?"

We stayed still for a second and then burst into laughter.

"Happy birthday"

THE END

So...how bad is it? -_^