"We could go sailing. I'll take us out in the middle of the sea and we can pack some lunch with us" Hook said, glowing with happiness at the thought of planning his anniversary with Emma. It had been a full year since they had been engaged and married. Everything had gone back to normal after they moved in, well, as normal as Storybrooke could ever get. They were seated at the couch in their house.
Emma was trying to listen intently to what he was saying, but the words didn't seem to stick to her head. Her mind was somewhere else.
"What do you think, love?" Killian asked, turning his head gleefully towards Emma.
"I had a miscarriage" Emma blurted out. Hook choked on his words. Had he heard her correctly?
"What do you mean?" He asked, confused and trying to get his mind wrapped around what she had been saying. When? How? Why?
"It happened a few weeks ago the other day when that creature appeared in Storybrooke. Earlier that day I had just found out about the pregnancy. I was going to tell you that day, but then I lost it" Emma explained. She had held back tears as well as she could but they were threatening to spill over. This was the first time she had said it out loud.
"Why didn't you tell me about it that day? " He asked. Wondering why she had not told him. He was quite upset that she hadn't. She dealt with things alone, not letting anyone know about her feelings, like she usually did. Emma didn't respond and she swallowed hard. Killian stood up from the couch, looking down at Emma.
"You had no right to not tell me. This was our child. Ours. You always deal with matters on your own, lass, when you no longer have that privilege. We vowed that day when we got married that we would be together, and the future affects both of us from then on" Killian lashed out. He hadn't meant to get this angry, but right now he was very mad she hadn't told him. How could she have not told him he had a child, even one that's lost?
"I thought it was for the best. I lost the baby anyway, so why should you have been burden with the fact that I lost it before you could be happy about it? I just wanted things to be like they used to be, I didn't want anything to change" Emma couldn't help but let a few tears fall from her eyelids. These tears were more from anger and frustration. Why couldn't he just understand she wanted to protect him?
"What I'm burden with is not your concern! What matters is that you didn't tell me" Killian shouted. Before she had the time to respond he had kicked a chair down and walked out of there. Emma burst into tears, so much she struggled to breathe for a while.
Killian furrowed his brows as he walked down the road alone. Since he forgot his leather jacket on the way out, it was a bit chilly. He kept walking until he found the rabbit hole.
"A glass of rum, please" He said as he sat down at one of the chairs.
Emma stared down at the test in her hand. She was pregnant, she really was. Her hand flew up to her stomach and rested it there for a while before she cracked a smile. Before, this news would have terrified her. Why should it? She had the most amazing man in her life, and he had time again and again proven that he wanted a future with her, and she really did want one with him. This man had taught her to love again when she had thought love was long lost in her life by the time she met him. She took a deep breath and turned around
"I'm pregnant" she said to her mother who was in the bathroom with her. Snow cracked the biggest smile she could.
"That's so wonderful, Emma. Are you happy?" She asked her. A bit worried her daughter was still closed off from her ideal version of a happy ending.
"Yeah. Yes. I am. I'm happy " Emma managed to get out. The words a bit stumbled around.
"You are already a great mother to Henry, but you'll be a wonderful mother to this baby too" Snow said, cupping her daughters head in her hands, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
Killian stared at the glass he had been given, twirling the glass around in circles with his good hand, on the table. He regretted yelling at Emma. He had been too shocked of hearing he had the opportunity to be a father, and that he might have never known if she hadn't told him she lost it. It all made sense to him now, why the Charmings would look at him differently, or for Regina and Robin to be suspiciously quiet when he entered a room.
His father had never been any kind of a role model for fathers out there. Sure he had been great before he abandoned them, but it had all been built on lies. In Killian's mind his father had never been truthful; otherwise he would never have abandoned his two sons in the first place.
Liam, there was a man fit to be a father. If anything he is the role model for fathers out there. He had been Killian's guardian and foremost his big brother. Liam had fallen to death before he could have the chance of being a father himself, but Killian knows he would have been a great one. To be truthful Liam is the one who had set the example for the man Killian wanted to be. A father he could have been, if Emma hadn't miscarried.
Still twirling and staring at the glass in his hand, he let it drop back onto the table without drinking it. He paid for the drink and walked out of the bar.
Back at the house Emma was still on the couch. She had lied down, holding a pillow in her arms. Her tears had already dried, and she felt empty – as empty her uterus now was. Emma had been so happy for the pregnancy, and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to heal properly again. She was scared this was going to close her off from having another child in the future.
"Emma! Emma!" Her mother screamed through the crowd, running towards her. Hook and David were at the other side of the town currently, and Emma and Regina had been on the opposite side of town. An explosion had gone off, throwing Regina and Emma through the air. Snow ran up to the two of them.
"What the hell are we dealing with here, the blow master?" Regina said sarcastically, getting up with the help with Robin who had come with them.
"Regina, are you ok?" He asked looking at the cut on Regina's forehead. Her hand flew up to her head, rubbing the blood off with the back of her hand.
"I'm fine, it's just a cut" Regina responded. Snow turned towards Emma.
"Whatever we're dealing with, it's strong" She said, getting up.
"My god, Emma, Are you alright?" Regina asked noticing the blood.
"I'm fine, we need to go after the monster creature" Emma said, determined to finish what she started before she could allow herself to even think about what had just happened. She couldn't deal with this now.
"But there's blood coming down your thighs, let me take a look at you, I could help" Regina offered, taking a step forward, ready her hand with magic, to heal her if necessary.
"No, no I'm fine. I'm. I'm having a miscarriage, but we can't let this monster get away, like you said this was the only plan to catch it, if we lose trail of it we risk losing our chance at catching it. " Emma said, stuttering out the words, taking a step backwards.
"No you're not fine, Emma. You need to go to the hospital right now" Regina demanded, taking hold of a restless Emma.
The door shut behind Emma, and she knew he had come back. She sat back up and looked towards her husband. His anger was gone and replaced by sadness. This time she was the one a little frustrated. Hook walked over to her side and sat down. He took his one hand in hers and began talking.
"I must apologize for my outburst earlier. I was upset about not knowing about the little infant from the last couple of weeks you withheld the knowledge of the miscarriage. I didn't come to think of how difficult it must have been for you these past weeks." He said.
"You were right. I should have told you, I know you wouldn't have abandoned me, but I was scared it was going to change anything between us. I didn't want you to know unless you had to" Emma said, knowing her excuses were worthless, and knew she had been wrong not to tell him before now.
"Aye, I still believe you should have told me, but what matters is that you did tell me in the end. " They both stood up from their seats, and instead of taking his hand back in hers like she expected, he put it lightly on her stomach.
"If you ever want children with me in the future, we could always try again" Killian nearly whispered in a light proposal of the idea. He was getting fond of the idea of having children with Emma, and there was no one else he'd rather have children with. He too was scared this had miscarriage had frightened Emma from trying to get pregnant again.
"I would like that" Emma said, as she hugged and buried her head in the crook of his neck.
"But not right away. I don't think I'm quite ready to try again just yet" Emma added, almost hiding her face in embarrassment. She would never think he thought of her as weak, but she couldn't help but feel as if she was.
"Don't worry, love. We got all the time in the world." Killian said, and kissed Emma softly and tenderly on her lips. Emma let out a soft long moan.
"Get a room" Henry's voice addressed as they realized he had just stepped inside the house. Henry didn't mind seeing her mother happy with her true love, but that didn't mean he would like to see it in every room he enters.
"What do you say Captain? Should we go find a room?" Emma asked with a smirk. Relieved that the fight was over and everything was nearly back to normal. She didn't want to tell Henry about the miscarriage before she was at least ready to try to have another baby.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's sail away, love" He laughed as he attempted to carry her in his arms and lead them to their bedroom.
"I'm going to go to granny's for a bite" Henry shouted, not sure they had heard him as he walked back out of the house, with a smile on his face. He may be embarrassed, but he couldn't help but feel a bit proud. Had he never brought Emma back to Storybrooke, then he would never have had this big wonderful weird family that he loved so much.