Good in Goodbye

As bad as it hurt, I thank god I didn't get what I thought that I deserved

"…and then maybe I can show you how to milk a cow," Scott was saying as I hurried around the apartment, getting ready for work. I'd slept in and now I was only going to be fifteen minutes early instead of half an hour, and that was if I left right that moment without listening to whatever my boyfriend was going on about.

Most of my friends and family were surprised when Scott and I got back together after Total Drama All-Stars, but I really don't see what's so strange about it. It wasn't hard to convince him the whole thing with the list was just a big misunderstanding, and since I was the only girl who'd ever looked twice at him (and let's face it, I'm not ugly) Scott was only too willing to get back together.

I guess everyone thought I was too good for him, but honestly, Scott is a great guy. He'd really a sweetheart and very dependable and although he's a red head he's actually quite good looking. It doesn't matter so much if he isn't that bright or he doesn't have any goals or he isn't really that good in bed. At least he grew out of his dirt eating, armpit licking stage.

"Scott, honey, I really don't have time to talk about this right now. Can it wait till tonight?" I said, kissing him on the cheek as I made to walk out the door.

"Oh, sure, I guess so," Scott replied with a shrug. "What time will you be home?"

"Oh, I don't know," I said flippantly as I grabbed my keys. "Bye!"

"Bye…" I heard him call after me as I slammed the door behind me and hurried out of the building to my car. I didn't really know what Scott did while I was at work. He was meant to be looking for jobs but so far he'd had no luck. He kept complaining that he had no skills outside farming but I told him that you don't gain skills by sitting around the house doing nothing. Besides, if he grew up on a farm he should know how to fix things, right? So he should just become a handyman or something. Although I've never actually seen him do any fixing at home, usually I do it, or if I'm too busy I call the landlord.

I was the first one in my office that morning, as usual, since everyone else got there right on 9am or sometimes later. But I preferred to make sure I was already working by 9, since I always had a lot of work to do, and was often interrupted by new clients making appointments that I really didn't have time for, but were always to good to pass up. I'd only been working at the law firm a year, but already I was one of their most trusted and esteemed lawyers and people often asked for me by name. I hadn't lost a case yet, and I would be buried in my grave before I did so.

The day passed by in a blur and when a colleague came into my office at 5pm to ask if I wanted to come out for drinks after work I graciously accepted, though I normally stayed much later than office hours. But I decided tonight I needed to blow off a little steam, and a drink or two couldn't hurt so I quickly packed up my desk and followed my work mates to a nearby bar. We had a couple of drinks and then someone suggested we get dinner so I quickly texted Scott.

Won't be home for dinner. See you later x

He didn't respond so I assumed he was okay with it.

I wasn't really paying attention to where we were going, I was just following Colin, one of my colleagues, who apparently knew a great restaurant close by. When Colin announced that we'd arrived at the place, I looked up and instantly felt a weird pang of nostalgia, and not in a good way. It was the restaurant Duncan had taken me to after Total Drama Action, the night we officially got back together. Or maybe it was together for the first time, I was never really sure.

"Are you alright, Courtney?" Colin asked, seeing the look of shock on my face.

"Of course," I pasted a smile on my face and followed the others inside. They all knew about my history with Duncan of course, though I never talked about it. But everyone in the country had seen Total Drama. There were some things you never escaped. There was no way I was going to bring him up at this dinner, just because some ridiculous memory that meant nothing now happened to pop into my head.

The restaurant hadn't changed in the 9 years since I'd been there, and it was a little unnerving. I cursed myself for the way my eyes lingered over the table Duncan and I had sat at when we'd eaten there together. I made sure to order something different to last time. I couldn't believe the way this place affected me, especially since it had been so long. I barely ever thought about Duncan nowadays, he was just a distant memory in the back of my mind, and although I didn't totally regret our so-called relationship, I didn't really like to think about it. And yet here I was, only half listening to the conversation going on around me because I was too busy remembering how nervous he looked when he told me he loved me that night.

When our food finally arrived I kind of picked at it, not really feeling like eating anymore.

"Courtney, are you sure you're okay?" Colin asked again, concerned.

"You do look a little pale," Laura agreed.

"No, actually. I'm suddenly not feeling that well, I think I should probably just go home," I said. It wasn't entirely a lie, I didn't feel that well. They all murmured their "get well soons" as I stood up and left them to it.

As soon as I was outside my feelings of nausea turned to anger. I wasn't sure if I was angry at myself or at Duncan (most likely Duncan) but I simply hated that I let the memory of him spoil my night out. It had been five years since I'd last seen him, and eight years since we'd broken up for god's sake. I was about to go back inside when I heard a familiar laugh somewhere to the right of me and my head snapped around in that direction. It had to be my imagination. I'd obviously just thought I heard him laugh because I'd just been thinking about him. He didn't even live in Toronto for goodness sake! But as my eyes glanced at the group of people standing a few metres away from me, I knew that I hadn't imagined it.

Duncan was standing there talking and laughing with some people I'd never seen before, looking happier than I'd ever seen him. Unfortunately, not only did he look extremely happy, he also looked really good. Time had been good to him, and while I'd thought he was attractive while we were on Total Drama, it was nothing compared with what he looked like now. And what was even more surprising was the little girl he had perched on his shoulders. Her crystal blue eyes were all the proof I needed to know she was Duncan's daughter. She looked to be about four years old and unless Duncan had knocked up some chick while he was in prison, my guess was that Gwen was the mother. It shouldn't really have been surprising, I had no doubt the information would have been splashed all of the "news" and maybe Scott had even tried to tell me. But back then anything that involved Gwen or Duncan was pushed to the back of my mind. Right until this very moment, actually.

Strangely, I found myself smiling as I surveyed the situation and I realised I'd finally let go of all the resentment and hard feelings I'd carried around with me for years. Still, I wasn't totally sure I wanted to talk to him. What would I even say? I cursed to myself, knowing I would have to walk past him to get to my car. I wondered if I should go back inside, I had been about to anyway, but if that's where he was going then I didn't really want to be there.

Before I had made my decision his voice caught my attention.

"Courtney?" he asked incredulously.

"Duncan?" I responded, pretending I had only just seen him there. Too late I wondered if I should have pretended not to know him. He reached up and grabbed the girl from his shoulders, holding her hand in his as he strode over to me.

"Fancy seeing you… here," he glanced at the entrance to the restaurant and I knew he remembered the last time we were here together.

"I didn't know you were in Toronto," I said. It was the only thing I could think of to say that didn't involve bringing up old memories, which by now was the only thing we shared. It was definitely time to be an adult who could let bygones be bygones. Despite this and my earlier thoughts of letting it go, I felt a sudden surge of anger towards him, that he thought he could just walk up to me so casually like he didn't cost me a million dollars and my reputation while simultaneously breaking my heart into a thousand pieces. The heart thing I could take, it was the money and the reputation I was mad about.

"I just moved here yesterday," he responded. He then glanced down at his daughter. "This is Ariel. She's –,"

"Your daughter?" I guessed. Duncan nodded.

"Huh," I said. This conversation was a facsimile of a sham and I wanted no part of it. I wanted to walk away and never see or think about Duncan again. "Well, I guess I'll see you around then," I said, not meaning it. It was all very well to try to let it go, but another thing to stand there and talk to him like old friends. I gave him a fake smile and went to walk past him and to my car.

"Wait, Courtney," Duncan stopped me. I turned back to him, trying not to show the annoyance on my face.

"Mmm?" I responded unenthusiastically. I glanced down at his daughter who hid behind her dad's legs shyly when our eyes met. I looked back to Duncan, impatiently waiting for him to speak.

"Maybe we could catch up… over lunch or something," he suggested casually.

"I don't think so Duncan," I said shortly.

"Oh come on, why not?" Duncan said teasingly, but I wasn't in the mood.

"What makes you think I would want to speak to you?" I said, not harshly, just a little resigned. I was already tired of pretending to be nice. Duncan shrugged, his smile fading from his face.

"I'd like to know what you've been up to," he told me. "I'll make it worth your while," he winked suggestively.

"I have a boyfriend, but thanks for the offer," I rolled my eyes.

"I was only kidding… I'm with Gwen anyway. We're… engaged," he informed me. My eyes widened with the news. I don't know why I was surprised, they did have a daughter together after all.

"Congratulations," I managed.

"Thanks. So what do you say? Maybe you, me, Gwen and your boyfriend could have dinner or something," Duncan pressed. I didn't know why he was so eager to catch up with me, the last time I'd seen him he made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with me.

"I doubt Scott would like that," I said. Not that I particularly cared if Scott would like it or not, I did what I liked, but it was a good excuse and a good way to let Duncan know who my boyfriend was.

"Scott?" Duncan asked, taken aback. I smirked, glad the information had the desired effect.

"Yes, Scott. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be going now," I made to leave again but once again Duncan decided to stop me.

"Wait, Court…" he started. I sighed and turned to face him again. "Do you… I mean… is Scott… I mean… are you happy?" he eventually got out. I was a little surprised at the question. Since when had he ever cared about my happiness? I thought for a moment before answering. Was I happy? To be honest I wasn't really sure, but I figured I was close enough to happiness to tell Duncan I was.

"Yeah," I answered finally. He nodded once, as if to say he was glad.

"Me too." He grinned. "So… lunch?" he persisted. I exhaled dramatically and rolled my eyes.

"Fine. ONE lunch. You pay. My number's still the same, you can call me when you figure out the time and place. And let's make it somewhere private. The media would have a field day over this, even after all this time." I added. It was true. Despite not being on TV for 5 years, our pictures still ended up in the magazines when they had no one more interesting to talk about. It was funny how I'd once been so desperate for fame and now I wished I'd never had so much as my name mentioned on reality TV. "Now I'm leaving." I said pointedly and turned and walked away.

"You got it!" Duncan called with a chuckle. It wasn't until I reached the car that I realised Duncan may not even still have my number. Logically he would have deleted it after we broke up; I had deleted his after all. But he hadn't said so. Had he kept it after all these years? I shook my head, reasoning I would find out if I got a call from him, which I very much hoped I would not.

Note - Okay so I have no idea if this is going to be any good or not but I have had a million ideas running around in my head and this one seemed like the easiest to write. Let me know what you think!