"Brother, I have something to tell you" I didn't really know if I wanted to tell him this or not but I guess it's something he should know. It is something that I used to do all the time without my brothers knowledge, but it's been a long time. I guess I should let him know.
"Brother, I never told you this but when I had my body, I used to lead a secret life." I started and he quickly jumped in,
"What? What did you do?"
"Well, I used to strip. Every Friday I would go to Sally's Pub, get really drunk and strip for everyone" I continued

"What! But you're just a kid! How and why would you do that?" he exclaimed, he obviously didn't understand.

"Oh, well I'm also secretly 30 years old" I revealed.

Needless to say things didn't go over with Ed very well, just as I had expected. But what could I do? It hurt so much more to keep my secret life locked up inside. Oh how I wanted to strip again, to jump on a table and peel off my clothes in front of everyone. There's a thrill to it all, it's really hard to explain but something about stripping really turns me on.

I sat there and thought for a moment. There had to be some way that I could make everyone see and understand my passion. I know that I myself couldn't strip with this body that I was stuck in, and was it really a body? I wasn't all too sure even after the length of my time spent in this armor. But hey they do call it a body of armor do they not? And then it came to me like a bird flying straight into a closed window. SMACK!

"I'VE GOT IT!" I exclaimed. Ed looked at me like I was crazy

"I don't know what you're talking about Al..." he started but I wouldn't let him stop me. Not any longer. For all of these years I had been the sidekick, but now it was my time to shine.

"I'll write a letter to adult swim! They'll help me climb my way up the stripper's pole to stripper stardom!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. I was surprised by my brother's reaction. I had expected him to try and crush my dreams to make me feel inferior once again but then he said words I thought I'd never hear him say.

"Al, I'm sorry I stormed out on you like that, but you know what, I'm over it and I'm am ok with you being a 30 year old ex stripper" I thought I would cry little tears of joy. My dream was coming true and Ed was accepting me for who I was!

"I brought you some big ass clothes."

"WHAT! You think I can still strip?"

"Of course I do"

"OH THANK YOU BROTHER, thank you for your support, I know now that it doesn't matter that I am a suit of armor, cause I can still put clothes on and take them off, even though its better to strip if your drunk have a body, you can still get almost the same feeling"

"LET'S GO!"

"YAY"

And they went off into the sunset to Sally's Pub to go strip, Ed ended up getting drunk and taking his clothes off with Al and everything was happy again.

Al's Letter to Adult Swim:

Dear Adult Swim,

I would like to express my grave concern over a certain issue I've been having with myself. You see I love how you have turned the life of my brother Ed, and I into a television show. Or shall I say a HIT television show, oh you know Full Metal Alchemist? Well yes, I'm very happy with the way you have adapted our life story into the show but I was wondering if you could do one more thing. When I was younger I used to strip at Sally's Pub, and you see stripping was my passion. This was of course before the whole armor incident. Oh and I was 30 years old then by the way, so it was perfectly legal. But I just loved to be on stage stripping in Sally's Pub. It was so much fun, the way you could throw your garments to strangers as you swing around a pole on stage. But anyways, I was wondering you could make Al strip on the show. I don't think it'd be a problem since we do air late at night, and your block is called Adult Swim, is it not? I also think it would bring your ratings up. You see I've studied how the brain works and stripping and sex definitely catch attention, meaning that you will get more viewers from this. Please consider this in full. If you would like to discuss it further you know how to reach me.

Sincerely Yours,

Al Elric