Disclaimer: In my dreams.

Title: Insomnia

Pairing: Motoko/Togusa

Chapter: Sleep Deprivation

Rating: T

Summary: Post- GITS: SAC SSS. Togusa develops a bout of insomnia, unable to stop thinking about the Major. Needing some fresh air, he decides to take a much needed drive, and finds himself at a shabby pub several blocks away from his own residency. What a surprise it is to find none other than the woman that had been on his mind as of late, and what's more shocking; she too can't seem to focus because he's been on her mind.

Authors Note: So I was watching Solid State Society, and this just popped into my head. Don't criticize me on this or that. I wrote it just to write it. Not to get the facts right, or any of that bull. It's a fan-fic so just enjoy it and stop being such a critic. Oh and by the way, Togusa is divorced. Yeah, I know he isn't but still. My fic and I say he's divorced. Been that way since AFTER the Major left, and well. You'll find out why. I intended this to be a one-shot, but I ended it here for now. I suppose I'll have it be three chapters. Nothing too fancy, no action or any of the normal GITS goodness. Just a plain old fluff-ish romance fiction without the "bleh".

Read +Review+ Enjoy!

It wasn't the sound of the roaring helicopters that whirled passed his window that kept him awake. Nor the sound of rain tapping against the many surfaces outside of his residency. It wasn't even the sound of his neighbor's television that was much too loud, or these walls were indeed paper thin. An irritated sigh left Togusa's tense form. Even with the curtains drawn to contain the moonlight, he couldn't fall asleep. Every single time he closed his eyes, he replayed the memory. Perhaps what surprised him was the fact that this memory wasn't about the children; though, of course he thought about them. The Chief had suggested he take it easy on that subject. A family man didn't need to think on such things. Especially with the ordeal he'd gone through prior. Things would find their rightful place. Or so, he said.

Instead, the memory plaguing him was that of seeing the Major after so long. The fact that he knew, just knewit was her who came to his rescue… well, if it could be called that. Regardless if she was using him to find out information. He had been in good hands… But that wasn't the point. Fact was, he knew who she was even before his vision focused. A blurry image was usually to never be trusted. But he knew. The feeling he got right when the trigger went off, the feeling he got when he opened his eyes. It was a feeling only one woman had ever been able to accomplish. Togusa had never been able to describe this feeling. He couldn't put it in words, couldn't even begin to ponder what it was. The more he thought on it, the more confused he became. Why was it Motoko was able to install such a strong want inside of him? Not even his ex-wife could. He supposed, that was the reason he chose to leave the woman in the first place.

After the Major had left Section 9, the Chief had all offered the position as squad leader over to him. Of course, Batou was asked first. But said man only turned down the promotion. He wasn't "cut out for that sort of thing". The new position required a lot more hours to be spent working. Even when at home. Togusa didn't like bringing his work home. He rather that be time for his kids and wife, but now that he had all this responsibility, it wouldn't have been fair on his wife. They'd grown apart. If it wasn't the look in her eyes giving them small hints that their relationship wasn't going to work out any longer, it was the fact that they both had their bags packed every night. Just waiting for the other to call the quits. In the end, it had been Togusa who moved out and got an apartment a few blocks from his family. His wife had understood, and he could see the kids whenever he pleased so… it didn't work out in any foul way at all.

The only thing that had hindered him in the slightest, had been when she asked him why. That simple word poised in a question. It was loaded, far too many whys brought into a single one. Why did he want a divorce after all this time? Why had he noticed their deteriorating marriage, and simply let it be? Why did he pull over time when he didn't need to. Why did he often space out in the shower, or at the breakfast table. Why did he not want to have sex anymore. There were so many many more whys. Just, why.

With a grunt, Togusa threw the covers off his form, and threw his legs over the side of the bed. His shoulder length hair hung down around his face as dark orbs burned holes into the carpet. He knew the answer. It had never changed. And he was surprised to find that his wife had already knew. --

"Its always been her." Despite having been handed divorce papers, and watching her soon to be ex-husband walk out of her love life, she had long since come to terms with the fact that this day would come. It had always been a matter of time. The dreadful when. Togusa stood at the door, suitcase in hand; his back turned to his wife. "Should I wake the kids?"

"No. Let them sleep." He sighed, shutting his eyes, his head bowed. "Tell them… I'm working a big case. Daddy doesn't want to take any chances here at home. For a while." The blow of this to the children at this age would be devastating. They wouldn't understand. He had no choice but to tell little white lies until they were old enough to comprehend the situation. His fingers closed around the door knob, wanting to avoid his reason for doing this at any costs.

"I always knew the reason you enjoyed your job so much was because of that woman." There was no bitter resentment in her words. Only truth which caused Togusa to freeze, his eyes narrowing. "All you ever spoke about was your Major. How amazing she was… And when you used to day dream at the table, I always knew it was her."

There was a moment of silence between them. Followed by two sighs that erupted at the same time.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said before the sound of the door shutting echoed throughout the room. --

That had been exactly three months after Motoko left. Three months without communication, three months of wondering if she would ever return. That thought had never left his mind. And now. Now that she were, or possibly was, back… He just didn't know what to do.

'This was why you left everything behind in the first place. To find out just what it is you feel for her.'

Despite the situation on his end, he didn't even know how the Major in turn felt about him. As far as he was concerned, they usually only had chance encounters around headquarters. Random meetings upon the rooftops to either chat about a mission, or to just chat about anything that came to mind. He'd only been to her residence once, and she had come over only twice at his place. Once to pick him up when his car had gotten grotesquely demolished during one of their cases; and again when he invited her over for a casual dinner with his ex-wife and family.

It was during those times, when she seemed to be more of a woman than a soldier. Togusa had been one of the very few men to recognize the Major as a woman. Yeah, she could kick some ass, but she was still just like any other. She had feelings. Had interests. Was vulnerable. He'd witnessed it himself. That small dinner date had opened his eyes enough. --

"Daddy, daddy! Can Mot'ko also come wead me a bed time stowy." The voice of his little girl sounded laced with the days activities, her arms outstretched towards her father as he bent down to pick her up. They'd finished eating dinner a few minutes before, it was naturally time to lay the little ones down to sleep. With a glance towards his wife, and the small nod of approval, his eyes shot to Motoko. The violet haired woman gave a rare smile, one that suggested otherwise of her true nature. "Yay!"

Motoko had chosen to sit on the other side of the bed, leaning back against the headboard as Togusa's daughter leaned back against her breasts. Togusa took a seat opposite of Motoko, holding his child as the Major finished the story off. He'd been too busy watching her to even notice that his daughter had fallen asleep. Or that the story was finished, and said woman was gazing at him with a warm hearted smile.

"She's a beautiful girl." Motoko muttered quietly as Togusa shut the door. The man turned towards his superior officer, shoving his hands into his pockets as a proud grin marred his handsome face. "You must be very proud."

"I am." He smiled, taking in the Major's distant look. Her features were soft, eyes open unlike the usual stoic expression she wore. She'd even dressed appropriately for the dinner. Not that Togusa minded her otherwise every day wear. He was just surprised her wardrobe even had jeans and a sweater. Though, it was nice. To see her dress down, and even remove the façade she once kept up. There wasn't any need to prove strength around his family. "Thank you for joining us tonight, Major."

"Please. Its Motoko." The smile on her face carried them into the living room. After his wife had gone to bed, the two carried a conversation onto the roof of the complex. It was then, that Togusa really noticed her. "To tell you the truth. I don't know where I see myself, years from now. Will I still be working with Section 9, or will my interests have moved elsewhere. The only thing sure about the future is uncertainty…" Her form arms rested on the guard rail, body lent forward as her eyes gazed off at the city lights.

Deciding to mirror her position, Togusa allowed himself to bask in her words. Simply listening.

"Unlike you, who already has a family and a career going for him, I really don't know where else I could possibly end up."

"There are a ton of options out there for you. I'm sure that, if and when the time comes, you'll figure it out. That's what your best at, Ma-- Motoko." A light blush split across his face, feeling her eyes move to him. He knew she wore a smirk then, even though he tried to not look her way. Since when had their relationship changed? Small talks turned into deep, meaningful conversations. He wondered if Batou ever got this privilege…

"I'm not so sure. I guess we'll just have to wait and see then."

"Yeah… I mean. Ten years ago, if you would have asked me where I saw myself today… I'd probably have told you I were going to be some big shot detective."

The two shared a laugh, the stars above them shining down with their graces as time slowly passed by. --

That night. She had showed him that behind that tough exterior and front she normally put up, she was just a woman. Someone who admired those who could have families. Togusa found himself wanting to know more about her. Wanting to be the one she let in. Although, after that night, had been when things turned to worse. Not long after, she'd left the Section. Without even so much as a goodbye to him. She didn't contact him afterwards. Didn't even leave anything behind. A note, nothing.

All of this thinking had begun to hinder his thought process, ultimately making sleep impossible. With another sigh, the man pushed up from the bed and begun to get dressed in simple wear. Jeans and a T-shirt with a black jacket. Grabbing his wallet and keys from the bed side table, Togusa maneuvered around the darkened apartment, leaving it with haste.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself parking on a local street; just outside a flashing sign that read, "open". The small joint was that of a pub. A place that sold cheap beer, and had free complimentary peanuts. A small tavern, big enough for a few three seater tables, and the bar itself. Stools lined the bar all around. Brushing the rain from his hair, Togusa entered the pub with the hopes of getting this damned woman off his mind. But, he found that now that would be most impossible.