What do you mean it's not Christmas anymore? Surely I wouldn't be the sort of person to publish a Christmas story after Christmas? *Looks innocent* Anyway, hope you enjoy! The summary says it all, its part of 'Breaking Them In'

"I realise that this may be a bit much to ask..."

Kenpachi held his hands up, "No, not at all. After all, it's just dressing up in the suit and sitting them on your knee, right?"

Unohana smiled and nodded. "Exactly. I wouldn't normally ask, but we haven't been able to find anyone, and the younger children love it so much."

"Really, it's no bother. I know how much Yachiru loves it."

Her eyes crinkled further. "Thank you. You could even get the children to join in. You know, as your little elf helpers."

Kenpachi thought about Ikkaku and Yumichika in little green elf costumes. Somehow he thought it might be more traumatic than anything else to encounter the boys while like that. "Yeah, maybe. Yachiru would like the idea."

Unohana clasped her hand together. "Wonderful. I'll see if I can find some costumes...There'll probably be some left over from some play or the other." She looked up at him seriously. "This means a lot to me, thank you so much for agreeing."

"Uh, really. It's no problem. The day after tomorrow, right?"

With a nod she rose, putting her mug onto the table. "I suppose I'll see you then. It was nice seeing the children, Give them my regards"

"Yeah." Kenpachi stood too and followed her to the door. It was only after she had left that he began to wonder what exactly he had gotten himself into.

***

Ikkaku looked at Kenpachi dubiously, his arms crossed, the both of them trying to ignore the increasingly desperate calls of 'I really, really give up' from Yumichika who had unwisely agreed to play hide-and-seek with Yachiru. "Why're you going there?" The boy demanded eventually.

"I agreed to be Santa for the kids. Its only for a couple of hours."

Ikkaku's expression remained masterfully blank. "Why?"

Kenpachi opened his mouth, then he closed it again. "Because Retsu asked me?" Realising he wasn't really sounding very authoritative he cast about for another reason. "Don't you remember how much you loved seeing Santa?"

"No." Ikkaku's voice was flat. "The first year I saw him some kid pulled his beard off and he turned out to be one of the workers. The year Yumichika came he almost screamed the house down because the guy tried to pick him up and he thought he was going to be taken away again."

Kenpachi grimaced, not a happy tale. "Well...alright. But I said I'd do it, so I have to."

Ikkaku didn't look amused, or convinced for that matter. He turned as Yumichika wandered into the room, briefly ignoring Kenpachi in favour of his friend. "Did you find her?" Yumichika shook his head and Ikkaku grinned. "She'll come out eventually." He spoke as a veteran of previous play sessions.

Sensing the think air between the two of them Yumichika looked from Ikkaku to Kenpachi. "What's the matter?"

Ikkaku grimaced, throwing his thumb over his shoulder at Kenpachi. "This one wants us to come to the home with us."

Seeing Yumichika's rather worried expression and deciding the 'this one' comment could be left to later, Kenpachi elaborated. " I agreed to be Santa for the kids there."

Yumichika looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. "Really?"

"Yeah." Kenpachi chose to ignore the barely suppressed snigger in the question "I can't leave you guys on your own though."

Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at each other for a moment before turning back to him. "We still don't want to go." Ikkaku told him firmly.

Realising that he could likely stand there until he was blue in the face trying to reason with the stubborn teenagers Kenpachi decided to resort to less honest means. "Well. I guess you could stay here. I could call a babysitter." If his voice had taken a form it would have been a large puddle of oil just waiting to be slipped on.

The looks of horror on their faces spoke volumes. "We're thirteen!" Yumichika managed eventually.

Kenpachi rearranged his features into that of smug sympathy. "Well, If you won't come then that's the only alternative."

Another shared glance, clearly debating which was worse, going with or enduring a babysitter. When Ikkaku finally spoke his voice was heavy with the venom of the outwitted. "Fine. We'll come."

Although it was difficult to resist, he refrained from rubbing their defeat in any further, they were looking especially mutinous. "Good." He paused before hazarding, "Retsu suggested that you might like to dress-"

The cry was in perfect, final, unison. "No way!"

****

When Kenpachi arrived on the day, Yachiru on his shoulders and Ikkaku and Yumichika trailing reluctantly behind, he was greeted warmly by Unohana and ushered inside hurriedly. The place had changed somewhat since he had last been there, it looked to have been repapered and the brightly coloured Christmas decorations gave a more merry atmosphere to the previously rather dismal building. Although on reflection Kenpachi conceded that the change in atmosphere could be due to the circumstances in which he was there.

They were lead to what looked like an office, with a huge sack filling up most of the room. "Wow," he commented, "how many of them are there?"

Unohana smiled apologetically and handed him the bright red suit. "It might be a bit short on the legs, but the boots are pretty high, so they'll cover it."

Studiously ignoring the soft sniggers coming from behind him he accepted it and pulled off his coat. "Thanks."

"I found something that might fit Yachiru, it's a shame that you two didn't want to join in, you would have made excellent elves." She smiled at the two boys.

Her compliment floored them momentarily and Yumichika wavered for a moment, but one look at the bright green costume the woman was helping Yachiru into set him back on course. He pulled a face. "Its a foul colour, far too garish."

She shrugged, "Suit yourselves."

Eventually Kenpachi managed to pull the suit over his clothes. She was right, the trousers were very short on him; the boots only just covered up for it. He looked over at Yachiru and couldn't help but grin, she looked...well she clashed to start with, her pink hair completely at odds with the green of the suit, but apart from that she looked the part entirely. Santa's adorable little helper.

"Right." Unohana was all business. "I wont be able to be there, but there'll be people to take them in and out. Here's the bag," She heaved the monstrosity towards him. "Give them one when they're finished; red for the girls and blue for the boys, the rest should sort itself out."

Kenpachi tugged at the bag, it was pretty heavy and he wondered what sort of things the kids were getting; surely the weight couldn't be down to numbers. "Got it."

"There's chairs in the next room, so the boys don't have to stand, and be careful of the tree, it's not that stable." She smiled. "Good luck."

When he got into the room Kenpachi could see why she had warned him about the tree, it was huge, and his chair was almost in it it was so close. Yumichika and Ikkaku dragged some chairs to the side wall (all the better to watch the entertainment) and Yachiru began to nose inside the sack.

"Can I have one?" She looked up at him questioningly.

He shook his head, battling with his fake beard. "They're for the kids here, Yachiru" She looked a little disappointed but didn't press the matter, which was a relief, as a few seconds later a slightly harassed looking woman came in with a small group of children.

"Here's Santa!" She announced over the babble and began to organise them into a rough queue. Discreetly she whispered in Kenpachi's direction, "There's more to come, they're in groups of age." before standing at the head of the line to make sure they went up one by one.

As the first child came up, a shy looking girl, a loud cough caught his attention and he looked up to see Ikkaku signalling at him, a smirk plastered over his face as he pointed to his chin and made tugging motions. Thankful for the reminder Kenpachi lifted his chin, and by proxy his beard, slightly higher; the girl didn't seem like trouble, but he had learned through Yachiru that you never could tell.

The girl was actually rather sweet, if difficult to get information out of, and she went away clutching a red box, happy in the knowledge that Santa knew what she wanted. It continued this way for a while, and Kenpachi was even beginning to think that it might be easier than he thought when a smaller, slightly hairier version of Ikkaku clambered onto his lap.

He smiled benignly, it was easy to do under the fake beard. "Hello, what's your name?"

The boy's eyes narrowed. "I know you're not real." he hissed.

Slightly thrown by the unexpected answer the best Kenpachi could manage was: "Oh? How do you know that?"

The boy faltered at the simple question, obviously not used to being asked why he thought something. "Well...your beard is fake, I bet I could pull it off."

Kenpachi deftly caught the small hand before it managed to grab anything important. "Listen." He had to try hard not to growl, "You want to ruin this for everyone else?"

"Don't see why I can't..."

"Because," Kenpachi told him , rather pleased with his quick thinking, "If you do, then I can't give you a present. Do you want a present?"

The boy looked uncertain again. "What is it?"

"I don't know. If you're good you can find out."

There was a sullen silence. "A puppet."

"Eh?"

The boy rolled his eyes. "Santa always asks what people want for Christmas." He looked a little shy. "I saw a puppet with strings once in a shop, it looked fun."

Kenpachi couldn't help but smile. "There, wasn't that better than pulling off my beard?" When the boy began to look like he was considering the question Kenpachi hurriedly pulled a wrapped box from his sack and sent the boy on his way before he could change his mind, tucking the request away for later suggestion to Unohana, who had told him that the staff all put money together to get the children something each year.

As the next child advanced Kenpachi, stole a glance at the two boys sitting in the corner. Ikkaku was whispering something to Yumichika, who seemed very amused by whatever he was hearing. Somehow, Kenpachi didn't doubt he was the subject of their humour.

And so the afternoon dragged on. All sorts of children clambered onto his lap, from shy and sweet, to downright unpleasant, and every shade of grey in-between, some children wanted simple toys, and some wanted more elaborate gadgets, (one even wanted a tank, which Kenpachi found rather amusing) and all the while Kenpachi could hear soft snickers in the background, and see occasionally from the corner of his eye smirking faces and whispered conversations.

Not improving his temper was the fact that sometime half way through the session his arse had fallen asleep, and no amount of shifting managed to alleviate the problem. So, by the time the last child had been ushered from the room clutching their mystery toy Kenpachi was in no mood for jokes, it was just unfortunate that neither Ikkaku nor the usually perceptive Yumichika noticed this.

"Ho ho ho!" Ikkaku patted an imaginary round stomach as Yumichika laughed. "That was way better than staying home and watching a film!"

Yumichika opened his mouth to reply but stopped as a shadow fell over them. Suddenly Kenpachi, even in a jolly father Christmas suit, with a lumpy pillow and a rapidly slipping beard, could seem very, very threatening.

Kenpachi smiled at them, somehow it wasn't reassuring. "Did you enjoy yourselves?" When they nodded slowly Kenpachi grimaced. "I'm...glad of that."

Things would perhaps have stopped there of Ikkaku hadn't been able to resist one last jibe. "You looked like you were having a Santa-astic time!"

Yumichika groaned as his companion spoke, covering his face with his hands and Yachiru, who had followed behind shook her head sadly, anticipating what was to come. A moment later Ikkaku yelped and jumped back as the large man made a lunge for him, pulling Yumichika in front of himself as a temporary shield.

"What?! It was just a joke!" The boy dodged grabbing hands again.

"It was a joke too far..." Kenpachi growled, again lunging for the boy as he took off out of the room, followed a few moments later by Yumichika, who had (wisely) decided against protesting his innocence.

"Are we playing tag?" Yachiru scrambled up onto his shoulders as she spoke, winding her fingers into his suit.

Kenpachi stayed still long enough to allow her to get comfortable before striding from the room. "Something like that."

Knowing the place well they might initially have the advantage, but Kenpachi had speed and patience on his side. They would have to come out eventually.

****

When Unohana looked up from her desk to see Ikkaku and Yumichika fly by her door, closely pursued by Kenpachi, his red Santa Claus coat flapping wildly and beard around his neck, and Yachiru squealing with delight on his shoulders she smiled and returned to her work. It was nice to see they were having fun.

As always, love to know what you think. ^_^