Fanstuck Transcript

by Noraanan

So this is just a transcript following the original dialogue. It is my attempt at the closest in accuracy of replication to the concept while still being it's own work and not plagiarism. The plot itself deviates further as time goes on. Some game related characters such as Jack Noir and the Horrorterrors are present, but otherwise no relation to canon other than SBURB itself.

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 16th of March, 2016, is this young man's birthday. Though it was sixteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?

Enter Name.

[Stupid McDumbname]X

[Try Again, Chump!]

Try Again.

/

[Benn Sparrow]\/

Examine room.

Your name is BENN. Yes with two n's. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. Not that you could tell because there is a severe lack of CAKE around your room. You do not care though. You don't even like cake have a variety of somewhat HIDDEN INTERESTS, varying in level of secrecy. You have a passion for REALLY OBSCURE ANIME. You like to play the cello and you are VERY GOOD AT IT. That's what you believe at least. You have a fondness for HEIST MOVIES, and are an expectant future MAFIA DON. You very rarely like to play GAMES, but you won't turn down a TIMELESS CLASSIC.

What will you do?

Benn: Urgently retrieve arms from SAFE.

Your ARMS are in your WARDROBE, McDumbname!

Remove CELLO CASE from WARDROBE doors.

Out of sympathy for Benn's perceived lack of arms, you pick up the CELLO CASE for him and put it on his BED.

Benn: Urgently retrieve arms from WARDROBE.

You retrieve your FIREARMS from the lower shelf. You use these for DEADLY SITUATIONS, which is to say never.

You CAPTCHALOGUE them in your SYLLADEX. You have some idea what that actually means more than you have originally let on.

There are other items on the shelves.

Benn: Examine contents of the wardrobe.

In here you keep things you don't want your GODFATHER getting into. You have your clothes and some other ARTIFACTS snuck in between, each one a devastating weapon in the hands of a SKILLED MOBSTER or a WITTY OTAKU.

You are neither of these things.

Among the ARTIFACTS are: THREE (3) FIREARMS [CURRENTLY CAPTCHALOGUED IN YOUR SYLLADEX], TWO (2) ROLLED-UP ANIME POSTERS, ONE (1) PARTICULARLY EMBARRASSING MANGA, ONE (1) FEDORA, ONE (1) THREE-PIECE SUIT, SEVERAL (~) SPARE SHIRTS, SEVERAL (~) SPARE PANTS, and ONE (1) HIKARI FIGURINE FROM SHOUJO AKUMA-HEI NI TAISURU LIGHT, and ONE (1) COPY OF DEAN AND ME: A LOVE STORY, BY JERRY LEWIS.

Some of this stuff is just too obscene for public view. Then again,you never know when you'll need some dapper outfit. For now, you decide to just take the FEDORA.