Chapter 1
Note: Let's pretend, for the sake of this fanfic, that Dumbledore has survived the potion and Snape's spell, but Snape has still run away with Draco. Hermione has let Rita go, but Rita has ignored Hermione's threats. And, unfortunately, Sirius is still dead.
"Honestly, Hermione," Ron Weasley complained, his red hair a large puff emerging from behind a long, scroll-like paper. "I think Skeeter might have based this story on fact."
"Ronald, you know perfectly well that Rita is always a heartless liar when she writes!" Hermione Granger retorted with a roll of her eyes.
Conversations like this usually served as an alarm clock for Harry Potter. Today Harry rolled over, fell out of bed, and then jumped up, clutching his wand.
"Really, I'm about ready to hex you two! Why can't you just get along for once? I'd like to get some sleep every now and then!" cried Harry exasperatedly, jogging out of the Sixth Year Boys' dormitory and into the common room. He was dragging his dressing gown by the collar, had his toothbrush dangling sloppily from his mouth, and was shoving his glasses on as he yelled.
"Sorry, mate. But today, we have reason to be yelling at each other!" Ron said innocently. "Dumbledore's found a new defense teacher for next year."
"Yes, and Rita Skeeter has already found a reason to complain about him!" Hermione added disgustedly.
"Wha?" Harry said. His speech was slightly garbled because of the toothbrush still hanging precariously from between his teeth.
"Here, read it. And get dressed," Hermione said, shoving the paper under Harry's nose.
Harry shrugged the robe over his shoulders and read aloud:
"Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, has surprised us all again by appointing another non-human as a teacher at his school. Dribblewharf, an Arctic Goblin, is supposedly Dumbledore's trusted friend with whom he has placed the responsibility of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.
'After all I had done to reform the staff at Hogwarts, I could not believe what had been done after I left,' Dolores Umbridge, a well respected, highly qualified employee at the Ministry of Magic stated. 'I cannot imagine what will happen at that school now that more part-humans have been admitted to the staff.'
It is known that Dribblewharf does not speak any English and has committed several crimes. 'I am dreading the day when Dumbledore comes to me begging for help to get rid of the Goblin that is murdering his students,' Rufus Scrimgeour said solemnly.
I will inform you, my dear readers, when more is brought to my attention on this intriguing topic."
"You see, this is just another one of Rita's heinous stories," Hermione said. "This Dribblewharf will probably turn out to be a wonderful person- er, Goblin."
"We haven't exactly had the best luck with Defense teachers, Hermione," Ron reasoned.
"Well, he can't be worse than Umbridge. Look at her quote. She's biased against part-humans," Harry said. "But Ron has a point."
"Let's just wait and see. When we come back to school and meet Professor Dribblewharf, you'll see that I'm right, and you're wrong, just as usual," said Hermione confidently. "And if you don't hurry up, we'll miss the train."
Both Harry and Ron groaned.
"Fine. If you'll stop nagging us, we'll go get dressed. Agreed?" Ron said, annoyed.
"Agreed, Ronald. And bring your trunks down, I'll do a packing charm on them," Hermione sighed. "I don't want you making me miss that train, even though I wouldn't mind much if I was stranded in the library all summer."
"Thanks, 'Mione. You're the best," Ron said, and then, realizing what he had said, blushed scarlet and dashed out of the common room.