First Castle story. This has been influenced by the massive amount of Rylexis fiction I have read. I own nothing. Reply?

2023-

Kate Beckett had seen a lot of reactions in all her years as a cop; a rookie getting sick at his first gory crime scene, family member dissolving into tears at the news of a loved one's demise, but as she walked down the hall of the New York hospital, she saw something she wasn't prepared for. Kevin Ryan was sitting on the floor of the hallway looking like his entire world had just collapsed.

She'd known that he and Espo were the ones who had discovered Alexis, and Kevin had ridden over with Alexis in the ambulance while Espo had stayed at the scene. Espo had been shaken up, but it was nothing like what Kate was seeing from Kevin at that moment.

Putting aside her husband's request that he catch the bastard that had hurt his daughter for a moment, she knelt down next to her friend and put her hand on his arm, "Kevin? Are you okay?"

The other detective lifted his head and looked at her. The look of pain reflected in his eyes echoed one she'd seen fleetingly about seven years ago.

Oddly enough it had been just after Rick had announced Alexis's elopement.

"Kevin? Talk to me," Kate said softly.

"I'm going to lose her," he said hoarsely.

"What?"

"Alexis. I finally got her back, and I'm gonna lose her all over again," he broke down in a painful sob.

Kate hugged him as he cried, his words repeating in her head.

Kevin was afraid he was going to lose Alexis…again.

Which begged the question: When had he had her to begin with?

2015 –

While truckin' down the road of life, although all hope seems gone,

I just move on.

Kevin Ryan smiled in spite of the situation as he let himself into Martha's acting studio. It looked like Alexis was here listening to her grandma's records after all.

That meant she was alone. Good, because they needed to talk. It had been days of unreturned phone calls and ignored text messages. He was beginning to hate the message on Alexis's voice mail.

He followed the music to the auditorium and spotted the redhead he'd come to see lying on a settee staring at the ceiling.

He came down the stairs towards the stage as quietly as he could, but he must have made a noise.

"You shouldn't be here," Alexis said, sitting up.

"I wanted to see how you were. We didn't really get a chance to say anything at the wake or the funeral. You always seemed to be surrounded by people at the repast at the loft."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," Alexis insisted, "Please leave."

"Lex, what's going on?" Kevin climbed onto the stage and knelt down next to her. "This is more than Martha dying."

"I can't talk about it," she tried to wave him away.

"Hey," he took her hand. "Talk to me. I hate feeling like there's a wall between us."

"I got accepted to Tulane," she replied, "And I'm considering it."

"What?" Kevin stared at her. "Tulane? The one in New Orleans?"

"That's the one," she nodded, "I applied before this thing between the two of us started. I wasn't planning on going, but now I think it's for the best."

Kevin dropped her hand and settled back on his haunches, "Why?"

"We knew that this wasn't going to last forever," Alexis motioned between them. "I'm just saying it first."

"But," he began before she cut him off.

"You're married," she reminded him, "How can we have a future together? How could we even start?"

Yes, he was married but even before he and Alexis had started up, he'd been seriously considering becoming unmarried. He loved Sarah Grace, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to stay with her mother.

"I'll leave her," he began.

"I don't believe you," she shook her head.

"I mean it. I'll divorce her. I don't want to lose you," he said reaching out for her hand again only to have it pulled away.

"It's too late for that," she brushed tears off her cheeks. "It's over, Kevin. It should've never started. Everyone you know, everyone you love, would hate you for this; my dad, Javi, Beckett."

"I don't care about any of that," he insisted, "If you're going to Tulane, I'll go with you. I'll find a new position there."

"And leave your daughter, no," she shook her head. "Go home. Your family is waiting."

"I love you," he said.

Alexis stood up, "Love someone else."

Then she walked away.

Alexis got outside the theater and stepped to the curb with the bag she'd packed earlier that day. As she waited for a cab, she pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"I did it. He's yours. Don't ever call me again," she hissed before hanging up. She hailed a cab and got in.

"Where to, Miss?"

"JFK," Alexis said after a moment. "I've got to get out of this town."

She didn't see Kevin running after her cab, nor the heartbroken look he had on his face.

She leaned back against the seat and placed a hand to her stomach. Tears filled her eyes.

"Stay with us, okay, Gram? Just for a little while."

-d-d-d-

Eight months later ~

Kevin looked up when he heard the elevator chime and saw Beckett and Castle stepping onto the floor. The brunette looked amused at her husband's ranting.

"Hey, what's going on?" Esposito asked from beside Kevin.

"Castle's freaking out," Beckett rolled her eyes.

"What about?"

"My daughter just got married," the writer exclaimed.

"What?" Kevin couldn't stop himself from speaking.

"That's where we were this weekend. Alexis and Chris eloped to Vegas on Saturday," Beckett explained.

"Wow. I didn't realize it was that serious," Esposito said.

"Castle's denial spreads to our friends," Kate motioned to her fellow detective. "I knew it was serious from the first time Alexis mentioned Christopher."

"She's never going to come home now," Castle grumbled. "She married an Alabama born Louisiana transplant Federal agent."

"And there lies the real problem," Kate pointed out. "He doesn't want his daughter married to a Navy cop."

"You married a cop, Castle," Esposito pointed out his infectious grin covering his face.

"Which I think is some kind of hypocrisy," Kate said. "Ryan, what do you think?"

They turned to see an empty space where the Irish cop had been standing.

"Where'd he go?" Kate looked around.

"I don't know," Esposito shook his head.

-d-d-d-

Kevin closed the door to the observation room and leaned against the wall. She was married. His girl was someone else's. He wanted to let out an angry yell. He wanted to slam his fists through a wall. He wanted to bang his head against the one way glass. Mostly he just wanted his heart to stop beating. Perhaps then it wouldn't hurt so much when he thought about the fact that the woman he loved had married someone else so soon after they'd separated.

He'd barely found a way to put one foot in front of the other after her abrupt exit eight months ago. All that pain that he'd forcibly buried was coming to the surface again, and he didn't think he could contain it a second time.

He thought about flying to New Orleans to confront her, but he suddenly had a thought. Did he really have any right to be mad at her for moving on with her life? He was the one that had ruined everything by stubbornly staying in a marriage that was no longer working.

He thought about calling a divorce attorney, but he didn't want to put his daughter through what would promise to be a painful divorce. The brief separation he'd had with his wife had already scarred their daughter. He could only imagine what a divorce could do.

His last thought was that he had to put Alexis out of his mind. He had to find a way to let her go. He pulled out his phone and deleted every trace of her that he had left. He said a private goodbye and then returned to his colleagues. He did his best to seem happy by their news, but inside he was dying.