A/N: Honestly, I don't even know why I wrote this in the first place. I realize I have bad habit of using Sue-ish OCs but I thought that maybe I could change that. If you don't like what I've written then don't bother reviewing. There's this thing called free will and another thing called common sense.

Please use them.

Summary: The great and almighty deities above have made the worse possible mistake in the history of all mistakes. They sent not one, but two completely authentic Mary Sue's straight to Middle-Earth. Instead of removing them, They send their assistant to go after them; an assistant who is mute and has only one form of defense and offense. How wonderful…

Disclaimer: All I own is Aisling. Pronounced Ash-ling. It's Irish. And no, I'm not Irish, but I have a relative who is.

V

V

V

Prologue

Immortality be damned.

What was the point of living forever if you couldn't speak? And the only ones who could understand you were animals, gods, and Demi-gods? And thanks to a little something called the Internet, life just sucked in general.

She sat on her Speed Racer car-shaped bed, her laptop open before her. The bed itself looked strange in the small room with its distinct lack of furnishings. Then again, she didn't care that her room appeared odd. Being a secretary to the Powers that Be didn't come with many benefits.

She was just about to go on a flaming rampage on a twit of an author when a Post-it note covered the little review window. She momentarily considered tearing the slip of paper to shreds before she took it in her hands and read the message. Her brows furrowed for a few seconds and her lips formed a frown. Closing her laptop, she reached over the side of the bed to put on her Eeyore slippers. Staring down at her feet, she let out a heavy, long-suffering sigh. Hopefully, this 'job' would be better than her previous errands.

Leaving her room, she walked along the short path of the bizarre hallway until she reached a glass door labeled in big block letters: The Head Honcho. She shook her head in disbelief; didn't they cut the Cable off years ago? Rolling her eyes, she pushed the door open and bowed politely to the giant mass of disembodied light.

"Ah, so there you are. Quick as ever, I see."

Her brow arched and her hands went to her hips. Tilting her head to the side, she narrowed her eyes as if to say: "Well, that's all good and dandy, but what have you done this time?"

The light dimmed to a faint pink.

"Now don't be angry with me, Aisling. I swear that I'll never do it again."

Wow. The Powers must have royally screwed up if it was making excuses for itself. She started to tap her foot in agitation.

"Right…well, you see…I was out drinking with the others when I was struck by an idea so terrible that I had no other choice but to act upon it. I sent a pair of MS's over to Middle-Earth and I was wondering if you could…ah, fix this little problem?"

If only looks could kill, thought Aisling as she nodded in acceptance of her newest order. She had no choice but to do it. But oh, did she want to do it. The blasted Power sent two devil-spawned women to wreak havoc on a poor unsuspecting dimension. And that would not do at all.

"I'm surprised you're not more vocal about this one." If it were joking, then it would have a horrible and incredibly rude joke. Fortunately, it wasn't. Aisling did have a voice; it just wasn't a human one. She was one of the few changelings created by the Powers that Be whose muteness didn't pass on to her animal form: a leopard. She could have been a different beast like her colleagues were, but her heart and mind happily settled for this one.

Aisling ignored His comment and glared. She wanted first dibs on those Mary Sue's, and she was determined to rip them apart limb from disturbingly-perfect limb.

V

V

V

A/N: Yes, I realize this is short. This is the Prologue after all.

Review please.