Title: White horse
Plot: The night that Brooke Stadler leaves Paul (one shot)
Say you're sorry,
That face of an angel,
Comes out just when you need it to,
As I paced back and forth all this time,
'Cause I honestly believed in you,
Holding on,
The days drag on,
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known...
It's late afternoon as Brooke attempts to put the final box in the top of the closet. She grows increasingly annoyed as she nudges the large box into the small space that was left in the linen closet off the upstairs retreat. 'Come on! Come on!' Brooke vents to herself. This box had to be packed away and had to be put back exactly how it was before Paul got home in exactly 1 hour and 23 minutes. He wouldn't be a minute late and Brooke had learnt that in the years she had been married to him. And if it wasn't put back exactly how she had found it, then Brooke knew that the next time Paul opened the closet and discovered that things were out of place, there would be hell to pay.
As she gives the box the final shove into the linen closet she watches a book fall down and land to the left of her feet. It was a pink and purple A5 notebook. It must have been on the shelve, because it certainly wasn't in the boxes she'd just been through.
Brooke bends down and picks up the notebook. She opens up the notebook and flips through the first few pages and a note falls out of the book and onto the floor. Brooke bends down and picks up the note paper.
Dear Brooke,
My darling, I am so, so proud of you. I know that your life hasn't been the easiest one, nor has it been anything that it should have been. But, as I stand here today, watching you graduate I know that you have started to make your life everything that it should be. Valavictorian isn't easy under the best circumstances, let alone the adverse circumstances you were faced with, and yet you did it. You are stronger then you know and you deserve the world. You are a girl with big dreams, don't disappoint yourself my love. Pre- Medical school is just step one. You have the whole world in front of you and you can do anything that you set your mind. Don't settle for anything less then what you deserve, and you deserve the world Brooke. Just Because your past didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, doesn't mean that your future can't be better then you ever imagined.
Lots of love,
Miss Schmidt
As she reads Miss Schmidt's hand written note she smiles. She hadn't seen her since high school graduation four years ago. How she missed hearing the comforting sound of her voice. How she missed her warm and bright smile that could light up a room. It was a smile that instantly made her feel at peace. How she missed the warm hearty meals Miss Schmidt would cook for her every night. Miss Schmidt was a woman with a heart of gold who and tried her best to convince Brooke to stay with her, rather then in her old, beat up stolen car. Of course, beyond having a warm cooked dinner every night, that was help Brooke had been unwilling to accept.
Brooke looks over the note once more and her mind wouldn't stop drifting to the final two sentences of Miss Schmidt's note.
'Don't settle for anything less then what you deserve, and you deserve the world Brooke. Just Because your past didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, doesn't mean that your future can't be better then you ever imagined.'
What exactly did she deserve? Did she deserve more then the way that Paul treated her day in and day out? Did she deserve more then the verbal attacks, the daily beatings and sexual assaults? Did she deserve a life of freedom? After living most of her life as a nomad, it was hard to figure out exactly what she deserved.
'You are stronger then you know, and you deserve the world.'
If this was her world... then she didn't want it. She didn't want a single inch of it. This wasn't who she was. She wasn't some submissive wife who gave into her husbands every request and allowed him to beat her. She was a strong, fierce woman who had been through hell. Hell needed to be in her rear view mirror disappearing. She deserved better then the life she knew with Paul.
Brooke looks down at her watch and after a quick calculation she discovered that Paul would be home in exactly 1 hour and 12 minutes. That left her plenty of time to run.
Brooke rushes to the walk in linen closet and begins to rummage through the shelves until she stumbles upon a black duffel bag. She takes the bag and heads into her and Paul's bedroom where she packs a few essentials into the bag.
Brooke glances over at the bed and notices Paul's wallet sitting on the nightstand. Was this a sign? Today of all days Paul forgot to take his wallet with him to work, and he never forgot his wallet. In fact, if Brooke didn't know better she was inclined to think that Paul hadn't even realised that his wallet was missing, because if he did she was sure that he would have noticed by now. Brooke walks over and picks it up. After she opens it she notices $500 in cash inside. Brooke quickly stuffs this along with credit and debit cards, inside her wallet, which had already been packed in the duffel bag.
Thankfully Brooke knew all the account passwords and PIN numbers and would be able to stop off at an ATM and withdraw some money from all of the accounts.
Brooke flings the duffel bag over her right shoulder and once again glances down at her watch, she now had exactly 1 hour 7 minutes to get out of the house. Where she would go, she didn't know. But anywhere had to be better then here.
As Brooke walks down the insanely long hallway to reach the staircase, she walks past an empty child's room. Brooke had heard that every bad relationship has a turning point. And Brooke truly believed that the loss of their son, who would now be two years old, Lucas William Stadler, at 2 months old to SIDS, was Paul's turning point.
Seattle. That's where she was heading. It was a rather impromptu decision, however Seattle being on the other side of the country meant that it was one of her safest choices. And the further away Brooke was away from Paul, the safer she was.
According to the build in GPS in her Toyota Corolla, her destination was a 45 hour drive away, of which she had already completed 9 hours of. Of course she knew that driving for 45 hours straight wasn't safe, and had planned to stop off and rest at multiple highway hotels along the way.
At 3am the blaring headlights from the mass of oncoming traffic was almost to much for Brooke to handle as she drives into the early hours of the morning. It was a lot busier then Brooke had anticipated, but she assumed that the long weekend had something to do with the traffic.
It was 6:38am when Brooke hears her phone ring. She looks down at the infotainment screen in her car to find out the caller ID. It was Atticus Lincoln, one of Brooke's friends and fellow waiter from the local diner she worked at. Link, as he liked to be called, was also studying medicine. He and Brooke were in the same graduating class in undergrad, and after sitting their final exams a few days ago, were due to graduate next week. On the fourth ring she answers the call.
"Hey Link," Brooke says as she answers the call.
"Brooke, where are you?" Link questions.
"I'm driving, Link," Brooke responds.
"Paul is looking for you. He came knocking on my door at 2am wanting to know if I knew where you were. He said you weren't home last night," Link says.
"Link, I'm so sorry that he did that. I didn't think he would," Brooke responds.
"Where are you?" Link questions. He had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what Brooke was doing, but he needed to hear it from her.
"I've just pulled up at a rest stop along the highway," Brooke replies as she puts her car into park. She takes her phone off Bluetooth and gets out of the car to stretch her legs.
"No, I mean where are you going?" Link questions as Brooke walks over to the free coffee stand. She pulls out a paper cup from the dispenser.
"I'm leaving... disappearing and I'm not coming back," Brooke responds. Brooke pours in some coffee from the coffee pot and adds a splash of milk. She grabs a Woden stirrer and She holds her phone to her ear with her shoulder as she stirs the milk in.
"You're leaving him? For good?l Link questions hopeful. Brooke walks over to a nearby seat over looking the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocks was oddly calming and made her feel at ease.
"Link, you were right to not like him. He hasn't been treating me right. He's been abusing me and I needed to get out. And I'm sorry that I listened to Paul and pushed you away. And I'm sorry that I didn't come and say goodbye, but I need to just disappear and leave everyone behind," Brooke explains. Brooke takes a sip of her coffee.
"What are you going to do?" He asks.
"It's best that you don't know. If you don't know then Paul will have nothing to try and get out of you, which will be safer for you. But just know that I'll be okay," Brooke says as she watches the sunrise over the ocean.
"What about school?" He asks her. Link knew how much Brooke had been through to get to school and didn't want her to give up off her dream of becoming a doctor.
Brooke bites the corner of her lip and looks out into the sunrise, "Well, I have passed my final undergrad exams and I'll find med schools to apply to where ever it is that I end up. I'll be a doctor, don't worry. And maybe one day the stars of the universe will align and we'll be able to see each other again," she says sweetly.
"Is this goodbye?" Link questions.
Brooke gives a slight smile, "This is goodbye. I'll miss you."
"Yeah, I'll miss you too. Good luck and please, stay safe, please," Link begs.
"Yeah, I will," Brooke replies.
It was a further 2 days before Brooke arrives in Seattle. The money that she had withdrawn from Paul's account was enough to make Bond on a small rundown apartment. The following day Brooke heads down to the local courthouse, and that's when Brooke Elise Stadler officially became Josephine Alice Wilson. She found a job waiting tables at a local diner called COCO's. It didn't pay much, but it was enough for her to just survive. Jo enrolled in, and was accepted into University of Washington School of Medicine.
It was hard. Building her life up again from the ground up was harder then Jo had ever thought imaginable. She had this giant suitcase of baggage with her and after a few months of dragging it along with her it became apparent that she wasn't going to be able to carry it around with her forever.
Although Jo very much saw Paul as a figure of her past, it was clear that the damage he had done to her was still very much ever present in her life. Jo decided to seek Counselling. She was a mess and on every single medication there was. The emotional scars had taken over her life, but therapy began to heal those scars.
Moving forward Jo worked tirelessly at the diner, was often awake until early hours of the morning studying her arse off and completing assignments. For those years of Med school, Jo lived off caffeine and cheep meals.
When graduation day arrived Jo stood backstage amount her classmates and friends... people who knew nothing of her pervious life.
"Josephine, you look amazing!" Jo's friend, Clara Hawks exclaims as she walks into the backstage changing area and sees Jo standing inside.
"Oh, why thank you," Jo smiles, "the blue robe really brings out your eyes," she laughs.
"Oh stop it," Clara laughs. Jo beaks out into laughter and hugs Clara. Clara was just one, of the many friends that Jo had made during her time at Med school and she truly hoped that this friendship would last a lifetime, and not be one that Jo would ever have to leave behind.
An hour later Jo found herself waiting to be called onto to stage to collect her M.D.
"Josephine Alice Wilson," the speaker announces. Jo smiles and walks across that stage proudly. Jo shakes the speaker hands and she hands Jo her diploma. Jo looks out into the crowd, where the photographer stood and smiles.
4 years after leaving Paul Jo finally felt like she was in a place of peace... in a place of making a new, fresh start. She was at peace with her life, and who she was now.
When one door closes, another door opens and Jo truly believed that some of the biggest, brightest, and most amazing things in her life would happen behind this new door.
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale,
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well,
This is a big world, that was a small town,
There in my rear view mirror disappearing now,
And its too late for you and your white horse,
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now,
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa...
Try and catch me now,
Oh, it's too late,
To catch me now...
The song lyrics at the start and end are from White Horse, by Taylor swift. I do not own them.