Title: Observations
Genre: One-Shot
Author: Soobin
Word Count: 997
Characters/Pairing: Felix/Gianna, Marcus
Rating: PG
Spoilers: slight spoilers for Twilight, New Moon
He is not exactly the type I can picture easily whispering soothing words to calm fear-struck nerves but I know he will be in the hours of the afternoon when she has finally finished her work and is open for his futile attempts. We are not creatures born for pity and compassion and even as a human he was anything but sensitive. I would laugh if I could not empathise with him that well. Their bond is firm and strong – something it has been for quite a while now. It does not budge an inch under the pressure which is exerted on them from the outside.
He has avoided my brother's touch – his master's – for a few weeks now but since Aro feels confident and comfortable with the current situation he just lets it go and he is not ordered to let his thoughts be controlled. Naturally, this will not continue this way forever and there is no avoiding my eyes and what they see. I cannot understand what it is about her that caught his eye and his never beating heart but I know I am not supposed to – and maybe I am simply not able to.
We are all fools in love but there is no understanding the ones who have already fallen.
He thinks we do not see how he looks at her. There is an expression in his eyes that speaks volumes of his longing for her presence and I know that somewhere down the road I used to look at my beloved just as foolishly.
His expression confused me at first because I connected his longing to the sweet scent of her blood but then I have seen him that way even directly after feeding as well. I wondered if she was his singer since the singer's call is said to be as strong and tempting as ever even if your general thirst has just been quenched. That is nearly impossible though. To see the connection between one of our race and his singer one does not need a special talent. There is no controlling yourself and we would have noticed that. The girl is still alive as well. If it had been that case we probably would have given her to him as a prize for his loyalty since she has shown no obvious talent in all the time she has been working for us and he is not known for his astonishing self-control.
He thinks we do not notice how seriously they treat each other now. There has always been some kind of attraction between them even if it has just been the sort that is fixed to be between our kind and our prey but their playful banter has become more and more artificial. Now that they have realised what kind of impacts reality has on their future, there is no place anymore for flirting and laughter.
She also blushes more often in his presence than she has done before but her heart has ceased to speed up all the time. I wonder what that means. It was easier to understand the human ways when I still had blood pumping through my veins and the beat of my heart echoing in my ears.
Their bond is evident in the small gestures they share when they think my brothers are not watching them. They do not pay attention to me because they think I have already retreated into my thoughts again but I am perceptive and it is useful that my appearance is obviously so deceiving. I have seen her adjust the collar of his jacket, her fingers lingering a subtle moment too long on the marble texture that is our skin. I have watched him trail his fingers down the inside of her wrist under the pretence of assessing a new bracelet, his gaze holding not only the appropriate amount of desire for her blood but too many fateful wishes and promises.
I know that he will try to take her away from us – somewhere safe – because his feelings tell him he has to and he certainly is aware of how painfully at risk she is with us. I wanted to make my love safe as well and she had not even been in a danger at that moment that dared to take her life – at least not one I had known and noticed then. He knows we have no intention of turning her and I wonder if he is more afraid that we might want her blood for ourselves or that we might order him to drink from her in front of us. If there were doubts concerning his loyalty, this would be more than likely thus putting him on a test. No matter how it turns out in the end it is a win-win situation for us because he is well aware of the fact that rejecting a human girl would never kill him but rejecting my brothers brings a death sentence on him.
Nature has created us as selfish beings. What use do you have for a conscience when you kill to survive? It proves that falling in love with your prey is unnatural and complicated. It is simply wrong.
After having considered all of this, I realise that there is no solution for them. Their bond will be the doom of them because I have no possibility to avoid my brother's touch and he will see it in my thoughts. He will read his guard's thoughts then and I am sure it will show him a great betrayal of us.
They are not Edward Cullen and his singer. They are Felix and Gianna and they are not free to feel what they want. I feel a great sadness wash over me. Each time I see love fail it reminds me of my beloved and the pain is devastating.
And with that I let myself retreat into my favourite memories and reality fades from my vision.