So this is a spin off of Indiana. I knew this character would come in handy.

And I deleted the original "My Little White Pill" because I realized that it was not going to work. So I'm starting from scratch. Good luck... to me. And I know I have this trend now where I use Comedic quotes to start the chapter of my stories. Well, since I'm a stand-up junkie, I say that it's perfectly okay. So fuck you all.

Disclaimer- I do not own House MD, although I'd be happy if I could possess David Shore's body. Then all my happy, sadistic ideas would be reality. Bwahahahahahaha!

House - Jimmy. She scares me.

If you haven't read Indiana yet, click my penname and read it. You won't get anything if you haven't read it.

Rated M for language and slash later on.

My Little White Pill

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.' - Lewis Black

It was cold. Scratch that. It was fuck cold. House shivered angrily, as he flung his right leg over his bike. Turning the key, he whined. "Come on. Come on. Start, asshole!"

The bike sputtered to life and he sped off toward Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital.

"House!"

"Urgh." He moaned as he limped quickly to the elevator before Cuddy could get ahold of him. He sighed, hugging himself, trying to gain some heat from this god-forsaken building. When the doors slid open, the angry Dean of Medicine was glaring at him. "How do you get up the stairs in heals like those?"

"Easy. I walked."

"Well now. What if all of us could walk up stairs. It would be chaos!." He growled, limping over to his office. His leg was so painful that he nearly ran just to go sit down.

"House, that didn't make any sense. Are you okay?" She asked, following him.

"It's sub-zero temperatures out there and you ask a cripple riding a motorcycle if he's okay?" He spat back.

"Listen. Remember that little Indie girl you had a few weeks ago?"

He thought for a moment. "Oh yes. Little miss 'I'm going to nearly kill myself to prove a point'? Yea. I remember."

"She punched her PT in the face last night and refuses to see anyone else about her leg. I was wondering if you could talk to her."

"And tell her what? All the horror stories of my own physical training? You want me to convince her this is good for her. Well I have news for her. It's hell and a half and it's something she'll have to deal with." He opened the disk drive and popped in a CD.

"I want you to be her physical trainer." She answered bluntly.

He looked up at her. "Why?"

"She claims that PTs are just a bunch of bullshitting assholes who have no concept of pain whatsoever. She says, and I quote, 'they should be shot twice in the leg and then try it out.' She's gone postal on two of them and I was wondering if she had one who's actually gone through a similar pain, she may comply and this hospital can go back to normal."

House sat for a minute, humming along to Sublime. "I'll see what I can do."

"Good. Now. Onto other business. Your new kid. Have you gotten him in here yet?"

"Told him one in the afternoon today."

"Alright. And if you aren't in the clinic by two o'clock today, you're fired."

He pounded the table. "I was so hoping you'd not bring that evil place up in this conversation." He yelled at her retreating heels. "By the way, nice skirt! I see London, I see France!"

Something wasn't right in the office, he noticed as he turned up his computer speeakers. Ah. His little ducklings weren't in the conference room at the moment. 'Wonder where they are. Someone has to do my clinic hours.' He thought limping over to the balcony. He scooped up some snow and rolled it into a ball before tossing it over the small wall at the glass door that led to the office of Dr. James Wilson.

A few snowballs later, the door finally opened and the oncologist appeared with his coat and gloves on. "House. It's the middle of December. What do you want?"

"Indiana Charleston knocked out two of her PTs since her surgery. Cuddy wants me to do it."

"Be a physical trainer?"

"Yea."

"Can't we discuss this inside? It's freezing."

House grumbled and tossed his cane over the wall, onto Wilson's feet, and hopped the wall as best he could. They walked into Wilson's office and House felt the wonderful rush of heat flow over him. "Why is your office warmer than mine?"

"Not made of glass." He replied simply. "So you going to do it?"

"What?"

"Physio with Indie."

House raised an eyebrow. "You call her Indie?"

"Yea."

"Why?"

Wilson sighed. "She's my niece."

"What? How the hell?" He plopped down onto the couch and looked at his best friend, awaiting an explination.

"Well. My brother's divorced too. And she took her mother's name, rather than his. That's it."

"You treated a family member? How come Cuddy didn't ream you? Oh. I get it. Stay away. She's my piece of ass."

Wilson shook his head at the innuendo. "Cuddy doesn't know. That and I barely knew the girl before this. Her mother's insane, if you don't remember."

House thought back and smirked. Indeed Ms. Charleston had given them a very hard time throughout her daughter's stay. It made perfect sense where the little fireball got her temper. With a mother like that, anyone would go postal one someone.

"Well anyways. Yea. I guess I will. She was an interesting little nutcase, if I remember correctly."

"Oh shut up, House. You liked her cause she's a mini version of you."

"Yea but with boobs and a vagay-jay."

Wilson shook his head. "Crewd."

"Yes. Well. I embrace that side of me." He gave his friend a flash of his famous crooked smile before walking out the office and heading to his own.

"Well hello, kiddies. Where have you all been?"

Chase, Cameron and Foreman looked up at him.

"Clinic." Cameron said. "I get them out of the way early."

"Ew. Stop being like Wilson. What about you two?"

"Late." Foreman said. "Overslept a bit."

Chase shrugged. "Late too. Don't have any explination as to why, though."

"I can live with that. Okay, kids. Two big announcements for the day. One. Your new little brother starts today. Be really nice because I wanna be mean first. It's my privilage as the boss. He's a Lab Tech from Ireland. Cool, huh? Any ways. And then numero dos. I'm going to be rather busy. I got roped into a side job that may take up more time than nessicary."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "What could possibly take a lot of time for -"

"I am Indiana Charleston's new physical trainer." He interrupted her.

Everyone stared for a moment.

Chase put his crossword down and looked up at House. "Indiana, the psycho?"

"Yep." House smiled.

"The one who knocked Chase down at least six -"

"Seven." The blonde corrected.

"Seven times?" Cameron asked.

"The one in the same." He said.

Foreman sighed. "The one with that nutso mother?"

"Oh she'll be so happy that you remembered her!" House clapped his hands together and whiped off the whiteboard. "So any new cases?"

"Thirty-two year old man. Yellow." Foreman plopped a file on the table.

"What?" House asked. "Yellow as in what?"

"Skin."

He popped the cap off the marker and wrote 'symptoms' and 'yellow' underneath it. "Any other symptoms."

"Massive fatigue. He hasn't eaten in two days. Only water and some toast, he says. And he's sleeping up to sixteen hours a day."

"Alrighty. Differential?"

"Cirrhosis?" Chase said. "Explains both."

"Hep C." Cameron said.

"Diabetes." Foreman put in.

"Okay." House wrote all possible ideas down and looked at them for a moment. Then he turned and starred at them. "Well? Get testing. Chase. Get a history. I have a pacient to see."

After they left, he pickd up a file labeled 'Charleston, Indiana, C.' "Well, my friend. It's time you and I had a chat." And with that, he limped out of the office.

Alrighty. It's been a while sinse I posted. Gah! I'm tired of this. Thank god for Full Throttle!

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