ZOMFG, this is by far one of my best oneshots, in my opinion. Also...one of my longest. XD It's based on a RP I did last year; and I HAD to use the idea again...X3 Enjoy!
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Halloween is awesome, always was, always is. What other day can you dress up randomly and not looked at strangely for a while, AND get free candy? But Halloween in Amestres was just a little bit different. Because, besides the ghosts and witches and so on stalking the streets, the fangirls in their cosplay outfits were stalking their bishis as well.
Outside the Elric house (when did they get that?), a mob of girls dressed up as either Ed or Al were gathered, chattering excitedly to one another.
"Shit." Ed muttered, peeking through the black curtains of the window. He was dressed as a vampire this year, his hair transmuted to be a deep black. Makeup on his face made him look paler, especially in contrast to all the black he was wearing; this time a more dressy velvet shirt and leather pants. He wore a long cape tied around his neck. "They got there fast. Al, are you done yet?" He yelled at the bathroom door, picking up his fake vampire teeth and stuffing them into his mouth.
"All done!" Came Al's voice from the bathroom. It opened and Al jumped out, dressed as a kitty, of course. Orange cat ears were topped on his head, with his bronze hair tinted with orange pulled into a ponytail. He wore an orange shirt and matching pants with a brown kitty on the front of his shirt and a tail sticking out of the back of his pants. He grinned cutely, waving his pawned hand. "Meow!"
"Holy crap, Al!" Ed gasped, tackling his brother in a hug. "That's so damn cute on you!" He said, sounding muffled through his plastic fangs. He let go and stared at his little brother for a bit. "Aren't you to old to be going as a cat?"
"Aren't you to old to go trick-or-treating, Brother?" Al countered with a childish smile. Ed snorted and folded his arms. "You're never to old for free candy! Now let's go!" He grabbed Al's arm and pulled him out to the back door, turning off all the lights as he went.
"Hey, Brother, there's alot of fangirls out there, right? How're we gonna get past them?" Al asked. Ed smirked devilishly, "I already got that covered." He pulled from his cape a fake, curly black mustache that he put on, then stuffed a blonde girl wig on Al, fixing his ears on top and stuffed two apples into Al's shirt.
"Wha-?" Al blinked and freaked out. "Wait, Brother, why do I have to be the girl?!"
"Hush, Allie!" Ed opened the door and tiptoed out, looking around cautiously. Al, now dubbed Allie, sighed and followed him down the side of the house, and over the lawn where the fangirls were waiting. He grinned; they're actually gonna make it this time!
"There he is!"
"Get him!"
"RUN, AL!" Ed bolted in the other direction. Al screamed as the mob of fangirls charged at them, and ran after his brother. They bother ran as fast as they could from the screaming fans, and to their horror, ran straight into a second crowd of fangirls waiting for them.
With a fangirly squeal of triumph, the mobs both tackled the two alchemists, all of them fighting to at least touch them. "GET OFF!" Ed yelled, thrashing in their grip, his mustache being knocked half off. "Brother!" Al cried, reaching for his older brother as they were pulled apart. But randomly, the fangirls holding them loosened their grip, and both of them squirmed free and ran to each other, ducking down onto the ground.
"Quick Al, we gotta get outta here." Ed whispered, gesturing him to follow and crawled off. Al nodded and started to follow when his leg was grabbed from behind. He gasped; a second later, a blindfold and gag wrapped around his eyes and into his mouth, and was dragged off struggling. An Al cosplayer quickly took his place, and with a smirk, crawled after Ed.
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"Geez, that sucked." Ed sighed, once he and his so called brother were safely inside. "We'll try again later. Okay, Al?"
The Al cosplayer blinked and nodded. In reality, she was just a fanfiction author under the alias Ayumi Elric, and had been spending months training for this, and hours putting on makeup so that she would look just like Al. "It could've been worse." She muttered.
"True. We could be tied to a chair while fangirls stripped us right now." Ed muttered thoughtfully. Ayumi snorted; that was exactly what she had planned to do to him right now...no! She had to play her part! Play decoy while the others did the rest...
-
"This isn't necessary!" Al whined weakly. He was now tied and handcuffed to a chair, a leash attached to his neck that had a collar held by the temporary leader of this group, Mayuna.
Mayuna ignored the captured bishi, slicing two apples into equal thin slices, while the other fangirls watched. She finished excitedly, and with a flourish, presented the bowl.
"These very apples had been rubbed against the skin of Elric!" She announced proudly. "Tonight, we shall feast!"
"Red dawn!" The others cheered. Mayuna passed out the apple slices, saving about four in the bowl. "These are for Ayumi, who's distracting our Edo-kun for us. Let's eat to her, since it's because of her that this is all possible."
The others nodded and said "To Ayumi! ", then chomped graciously on their apples. "Ew!" Al muttered.
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"Crap, those stupid fangirls messed up our costumes." Ed sighed, reaching into his mouth and pulling out his fangs, trailing a couple think lines of saliva. Ayumi stared.
"Ew. These things are like drool magnets." Ed commented in disgust.
"C-can I try them?" She stuttered shyly, her face flushing red. Ed blinked and smiled. "Only if you let me wear your ears."
"Deal!" She smiled, taking off her ears and handing them over. Ed put them on and passed over his wet fangs, which Ayumi automatically stuck into her own mouth and sucked on. Ed blinked at the slurping sounds for a second before going into the laundry room. She followed curiously.
"We're gonna have to wash our costumes before going out again." He said, pulling off his shirt and cape. "You don't mind, right?" He asked, gesturing to his pants. "Of course not!" She squeaked frantically. He nodded, taking his pants off and sticking his clothes into a washing machine, turning it on.
Ayumi fought down a nosebleed. Calm down, Ayumi, he's supposedly your brother, and you're supposedly a guy, so stop all pervy thoughts now! Oh, but he's just so damn hot and sexy...no! You were born for this very moment, you can't ruin it now! She sighed, calming herself by sucking on her fangs more. Ed blinked at her. "Aren't you gonna take off your stuff too?" He asked, pointing to the second wash.
On our first date, oh Edo, it's so sudden, but if you really wanna go that far...! It took her everything her everything she had and then some not to blurt that out. She just shook her head and Ed rolled his eyes. "Geez, what's the big deal? We've seen each other naked before, there's nothing new to see."
Naked?!?! Crap, fangirl images, fangirl images! She crossed her arms over her chest nervously, muttering "Oh, you'll be surprised..." under her breath. "Huh?" Ed looked at her. "Nothing. I'll just wait a bit...I'm...cold!" She said, turning red.
Ed continued to stare at her. She looked away nervously, fidgeting with her tail. "Al, are you sick or something? Your face is all red."
"No, I'm fine!" Ayumi smiled and sweatdropped. "Let's go do something!"
"...sure..."
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"Okay girls, time to work." Mayuna said. The fangirls nodded and stalked closer to Al, who squeaked and bounced his chair away desperately, but didn't get far.
"You don't have to do this!" Al said anxiously.
"Ignore him! Strip to level one!" Mayuna ordered. Two fangirls jumped up and skillfully ripped off his shirt and pants. Al yelled in horror and tried to squirm away. Brother, where are you?!
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"Agh!" Ed sneezed and wiped the whipped cream off his face. He and 'Al' were both eating junk in the kitchen while waiting for Ed's clothes to finish washing. "Ew, it got up my nose!"
"Haha!" She laughed, almost choking on her drink. Ed stuck his tongue out, blowing his nose on a tissue.
"Do I have any on my face still?" He asked, pointing to his own face. Ayumi nodded, noticing the foamy speck of white on his cheek, and learned forward, lucking it off. She and Ed froze, staring awkwardly at each other with red faces.
"Uh...Al...?"
"Ehehe..."Ayumi grinned sheepishly, cursing at herself in her mind. "I'm a cat, remember?"
"Oh! Oh, yeah." Ed grinned back evilly. "And I'm a vampire." He said, and bit down on her neck, slightly harder then he meant to. She turned red, wincing the slightest bit. Holy crap...I hope the others are having fun too...
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"Okay, get him out of the apron and put him in the French maid uniform." Mayuna instructed expertly. "Cameras, get ready!"
The fangirls whipped Al into a French main costume, ten others flashing pictures at break neck speeds. Al turned a deeper shade of scarlet each time.
"Mayu-san, it's almost 9, we should wrap it up." One of them said. Mayuna nodded in agreement. "Okay. Final step; full frontal strip!"
"What?!" Al shrieked in a high pitched voice. That fangirl gulped. "Are you sure? Isn't that going to far?"
Mayuna pretended to slap her. "Idiot, don't let your conscience get in the way!"
"Sorry!"
"Wait, don't!" Al yelled, just before he was gagged again, but continued to scream, "Mmph! Mmmphf!"
"Do it!"
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"Look behind you-eeeek!" Ayumi screamed, covering her eyes as the monster attacked the guy. Ed laughed, "Geez Al, it's only a movie! Why do you always freak out?"
"I don't like scary movies!" She complained.
"Whatever you say, Al." Ed chuckled, standing up. "I'm gonna get some popcorn."
"Okay. Watch out!" She screamed at the television. Ed laughed again, starting to walk to the kitchen, when he got an evil idea. Waiting until Ayumi was distracted, he tackled her from behind, yelling "Boo!"
Ayumi screamed, losing her balance and hitting the floor along with Ed.
"Kyah!"
"Gah!"
Squish!
Ed turned red, snapping his hand back as if he just got burned. He turned red along with Ayumi, staring down at her chest in confusion (he had landed on her). "Al...since when did you..." His eyes widened. "Oh, crap!" He screamed, jumping up and off her, turning rd and grabbing a pillow to shield himself, staring at her shocked, then embarrassed, and finally twisted in rage.
"I can explain." She mumbled quickly, clambering to her feet.
"What did you do with Al?! Where is he?!"
"Sorry, can't say." She smiled faintly. Ed scowled more. "You better tell me, or else."
"Nothing you do or say will make me talk. Fangirl honor!" She replied smugly.
He cursed. Of course there was a way, but he really really really did not want to do it. The idea itself disgusted him. But this was for Al, and he'd do anything to make sure he was save and out of evil's way. I'm so gonna regret this. He mumbled, grabbing her by the shoulders and glaring into her eyes before kissing her, licking her tongue with for a quick second before pushing her away and resisting the urge to vomit. Her eyes went wider then Ed had ever thought possible. "I'll tell you everything!"
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Al was shocked. Thoroughly, utterly shocked. The fangirls were too. Al wasn't sure who's face was redder, his or theirs.
"...I think we went too far..." A fangirl muttered.
"Just a tad... Mayuna agreed. "Nonetheless! Cameras, get ready!"
Al's eyes widened and he shook his head, yelling something through his gag as the cameras flashed white. Brother, save me!
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"I'm coming Al!" Ed ran out the door, fully clothed in his vampire garb, leaving behind the fangirl who was still in his house with a creepy smile on her face. Not the smartest of all ideas, but it was either his stuff or Al. And Al came before everything.
Ed stopped at the house Ayumi had described and ran to one of the basement windows, looking inside. He gasped in horror. There was Al alright, but he was stark naked on a chair! He kicked the window through and slapped inside, to the gasps of many fangirls. Al looked up at him with dramatic tears in his eyes, and said something muffled.
"What the hell did you all do to my brother!?" Ed snarled, glaring at them as he ran over and ungagged his brother. "Brother, it was so scary, they kept making me wear stuff and wouldn't listen when I said to stop, and it was so horrible-" Al ranted as soon as he recovered. Ed shook his head in disgust and wrapped his cape around Al. "Come on Al, let's go."
"Okay." Al muttered, sighing and following his brother out the door. Ed stopped before he left and turned to glare at them. "One of these days, you'll see. You'll pay for that."
"Is that a threat or a promise?" Mayuna asked smugly. Ed just huffed out and stomped out of the house. "And this is why I hate fangirls." He muttered.
One hour later...
"That was the best Halloween ever." Ayumi said through a mouthful of apples. "Ed kissed me, striped down to his boxers, gave me his fangs to keep, and gave me a little love bite." She said, pointing to the small bruise on her neck. "It was awesome."
"So lucky!" Mayuna squealed, hugging tighter to the pile of clothes Ayumi had stolen from the Elric house. "But I got to see Al naked. Nothing better then that."
"Maybe." Ayumi stuck her fangs back on and sucked on them happily. "I can't wait for next year."
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Zomg, I loved that story. X3 Fangirls are one of my favorite subjects to write. Hope you liked it! Please, reviews! And happy Halloween!