Part 1 of 3
The Office - Pam's birthday - full-length fan script.
standard disclaimer about characters and not owning rights...blah blah blah...just a fan having some fun
INT. OFFICE, PAM'S DESK, MID DAY
Phones are ringing, people are making sales calls and from Pam's desk it sounds like the standard droning buzz of yet another work day.
Michael walks out of his office and approaches Pam's desk with a cylinder wrapped in newspaper (the comics section).
MICHAEL : It's the birthday girl
Pam shoots Michael a stern look
PAM : How did you find out?
MICHAEL : A good boss always knows.
INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE.
Michael is speaking towards the camera.
MICHAEL : In a place of business people need recognition. I tried passing out birthday surveys last year to find out everyone's birthdays and the only ones I got back were Dwight's and Creed's.
(pauses)
So I did what any good boss would do and I grabbed a peek at their insurance forms.
INT. OFFICE, PAM'S DESK
Pam shyly takes Michael's present and puts it behind the counter out of view.
MICHAEL (like a child) : Open it, open it, ooooopen it!
Pam quietly opens the present with Michael hovering over her. She rips open the top and the cylinder reveals itself to be a can of PAM cooking spray. She looks oddly at Michael.
MICHAEL: Do you get it? Now Pam can spray some PAM! (in a funny voice): Pam's got PAM!
Michael picks up the can and sprays a little on his shirt.
MICHAEL : Look everyone, Pam's all over me!
Pam looks at the camera and rolls her eyes.
INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE.
Michael is speaking to the camera.
MICHAEL : I think birthday gifts should be humorous. On someone's birthday they are a full year older and closer to death, so I think a little comedy makes them feel better about that. And apparently, cooking spray is not some kind of magic formula but it's just made of oil so it looks like this suit is going to have to be dry cleaned. You know what? It's a small price to pay for a genuine laugh.
-------------------------------------------------------
INT. OFFICE, ACCOUNTING DEPT.
Dwight awkwardly walks up to Oscar, Kevin and Angela. He locks eyes with Angela for a moment while Oscar and Kevin look in horror. Angela makes a sour face and Dwight looks over to Oscar.
DWIGHT: Oscar. I need you to get a cake for Pam's birthday.
OSCAR: Dwight, for the last time you are not my boss.
DWIGHT: Maybe not but I am your superior.
OSCAR : No, you're not. You're in sales and I'm in accounting.
ANGELA: Why are we celebrating Pam's birthday? We never celebrate birthdays in here...well except for Michael's and that one time we had a party for Meredith even though it wasn't close to her birthday.
OSCAR: Well, I'm busy Dwight. You're Michael's assistant, why can't you do it?
DWIGHT: I am not his assistant, I am the assistant regional manager. There is a difference. I am asking you because (gets quiet) well, you know
OSCAR: No Dwight, I don't.
DWIGHT: Because you're...(gets very quiet as if speaking a bad word) homosexual.
OSCAR: And that makes me better at picking out a cake? Do it yourself Dwight.
Angela looks flustered and sighs.
ANGELA: We're really busy here Dwight, can't you get the temp to do it.
DWIGHT: Except that he's not a temp anymore and I don't think I can trust him.
ANGELA: Why don't you tell Michael to go get it?
Angela and Dwight lock eyes again for another awkward moment. Dwight walks off hanging his head.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM.
Pam is speaking to the camera.
PAM: So, today's my birthday and apparently Michael found out. I've worked here for years without having to celebrate my birthday at work. Usually Roy would take me out to eat and that would be my birthday. (looks down at the floor)
INT. STANFORD OFFICE.
Jim is on the phone ending a sales call. He hangs up glances towards the camera.
INT. STANFORD CONFERENCE ROOM.
Jim is speaking to the camera
JIM: Of course I know it's Pam's birthday. I'm her friend right? (sighs) I can only imagine what she's going through if Michael found out. Am I doing anything for her birthday? No. Well...I did send a package in her name to the office. I think she'll get a kick out of what's inside.
INT. SCRANTON CONFERENCE ROOM.
Michael is in the conference room with Angela, Dwight and Phyllis.
MICHAEL: I have called this emergency meeting of the famous Scranton branch party-planning committee.
ANGELA: If you wanted us to plan something for Pam you should have told us before the day of her birthday. We have work to do Michael.
MICHAEL: Oh work lurk. (pauses and smiles) work smirk...work...
DWIGHT (interrupting): jerk?
MICHAEL (flustered at Dwight): No, no. The point is...in order to get work done people need to have a good time. They need to relax. Don't have a cow, man. (laughs nervously)
PHYLLIS : Well what do you want us to do Michael?
MICHAEL : Well you could get this party started! You could create some energy in this place! Well...actually Phyllis maybe you should be in charge of getting the cake. Last time the ice cream cake didn't get around to everyone so maybe something bigger this time? You must know where to get a big cake.
Phyllis looks down at the table.
MICHAEL : Angela, give Phyllis some money from petty cash. How about thirty dollars?
ANGELA (sternly at Phyllis) : Make sure you get a receipt and bring back all the change.
tune in next week for the 2nd installment