Queen of Hearts
by Bonnie E.
Notes: Just a few things first. This is from a series of stories I wrote for FF6. All of them link up to each other in a timeline, so some storylines and characters carry over to other stories. In my series Daryl was killed in the airship crash, so we will not see her getting resurrected, nor is she Gogo (but who IS Gogo? Heh heh...) Marle and Karn are not the characters from the games Chrono Trigger and Breath of Fire, only their names have been stolen and given to this pair (affectionately, of course). Dragon Poker was also not my idea. I got it from the Myth Adventures series of books by Robert Asprin, so I'm crediting him here...okay, anything else? Nope. You can read it now.
I found myself flying aimlessly over the mountains north of Jidoor. It was not until nightfall that I finally set down near South Figaro. I could go into town and stay in my room in the casino, but I chose to spend the night in my airship.
It had been nineteen full years since Daryl and I had been married in Jidoor. Not a day went by when I didn't think about her -- sometimes not even an hour. My wife, my beloved destined, and I had grown us together as orphans who escaped the orphanage to see the world. Life hadn't always been easy for us. But she always believed that our hardships made us stronger. But as we got older, life got better for us. I got better and better at gambling, and I invented and built the Blackjack, my first airship. For the first time, Daryl and I had true freedom -- the ability to go places where no other human had ever been before. The things we saw... Then Daryl wanted to build her own airship. I thought she was silly at first. She was no engineer. But I shouldn't have laughed. She had helped me enough with the Blackjack to pick up on some of its flaws and build herself a better airship, which she named the 'Falcon'. Upon its completion almost ten years ago, Daryl and I had raced for the ownership of the Falcon. I would have never been able to beat her. The Blackjack was larger than the Falcon. And it's a fact that a smaller object travelling at the same chocpower as a bigger one will go faster. But somehow, I hadn't wanted to beat her anyway.
Having accepted my defeat, I flew off to the hill where Daryl and I had spent many happy nights together, taking in the beauty of the sunset off the sparkling ocean, and the beauty of each other. She said she would be there by sunset to meet me.
But she never came.
I had found the wreckage of her airship a full year and a day later, far off her original course. And among the debris, the frozen body of my wife. I had shut out the memory, choosing to harbour it deep within, along with my grief. But recently I had been forced to confront it. Because I had hid it so long, it hit me all the stronger when I released it. It had been two years since then, and the pain was still as strong as it had been when I first held her body in my arms.
I thought it would be hard to go back there. I hadn't been there since I had moved to South Figaro. But I knew I had to do it, especially this night, our wedding anniversary. It was one last attempt to come to terms with this whole thing. I had to go back to our hill.
But this time I discovered there was someone else there.
It had been so many years, I should have supposed someone else would have found this spot.
"Hi," the person said, turning around. The voice was female, deeper, perhaps older, but I could not see more than her sillouhette against the sunset.
"Hello," I said, parking myself off to one side.
For a full minute I took in the scenery silently, choosing not to be social.
"You know," I heard, "there's plenty of room up here for two. Won't you join me?"
For a moment I hesitated, staring at the spot beside this woman. But as another minute passed, I rose to sit down beside the newcomer.
At first I didn't look at her.
"It sure is breathtaking up here," she said.
I nodded.
"I'm sorry. Am I in your spot or something?"
"That's where...yes. That was my spot. But that was a long time ago."
"Something bad happen here?"
"Yes and no. I'd rather not discuss it."
"I see. Well, I'm Jenna Stan," she said, holding out her right hand.
For the first time, I laid eyes on the woman beside me. The first thing I saw were her eyes. They were deep blue, a colour unlike any I had seen before. She was obviously an older woman who had experienced much in her life, but yet she still appeared as full of life as someone ten years younger. But most noticeably, I saw that those eyes were filled with a wanderlust like I hadn't seen since...
"Setzer Gabbiani," I introduced, shaking her hand.
"Setzer...Hey, you're the owner of that casino in South Figaro."
"That would be me."
"And you own that airship too, right?"
"Yes, I do."
"I used to see your ship zipping past the skies of Nikeah all the time."
"So you're from Nikeah."
"Yeah, I grew up there. But I live in Wayside now. And pretty well everywhere in between. I've never actually been in any one place for too long. But Wayside is where my family is, so I consider it my home."
"I see."
"So you own the airship, huh? It must be something to be so high up. I'd love that feeling. The wind blowing my hair in the breeze..."
"There's nothing like it."
"I guess you understand when someone says they can't settle in one place long, huh? You must have seen the whole world by now."
"And then some."
"Like where?" Jenna asked. "Don't tell me all those stories about how Kefka was beaten were true."
"In one form or another, yes."
"Wow! This is so neat. I've heard little things here and there, but I've never heard the story in full."
"Well, I'm not much of a storyteller."
Jenna looked away. "I'm sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I guess I sound like a yappy kid. It's just not every day that you meet someone who helped save the world."
"It's alright."
"So..." Jenna spoke, looking for something else to talk about.
"So," I replied, glancing out into the ocean again. "One day I'm out in the Blackjack. I had my eyes on Maria, the diva at the opera house. And being the rogue I was, I was going to have her, no matter what the stakes. My plan had been to snatch her away at the end of the first act. Hah! I should've known something was up when the story took that really strange turn, and a giant purple octopus fell onto the stage."
"You're kidding."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "But I should've known the Impresario couldn't have come up with that kind of plot twist. Anyway, I had been hiding backstage, waiting for the right time. Eventually it came, and I whisked Maria away to my airship. Only it wasn't Maria. It turned out the whole thing had been a trick to get my airship. When I came back to the lounge, there were three other guys there. One claimed I was a treasure hunter, the other, a martial arts black belt, and the other guy looked like the king of Figaro, mainly because I was. The woman I thought had been Maria was actually an ex-Imperial general, dolled up to look like Maria. But this general, Celes was her name, was even more beautiful than Maria.
The four claimed they wanted to get to Vector, and that my ship was the only way to do it. I knew it was true. I had heard rumours of all the ships to and from the southern continent had been sent idle or smashed. So I basically had them at my mercy. I told them that if Celes married me, I would take them to Vector. She wanted to flip for it instead. If it turned up heads, she wouldn't have to marry me, and I'd take them to Vector, anyway. Me, always a lover of games of chance, went for it. I lost, but I was suspicious. I picked up the coin and examined it. It had two heads. But instead of being mad, I was fascinated. I had never thought of that scam before. So I accepted my defeat, and took the group to the southern continent."
I continued the tale, and Jenna listened intently. As the sun set and the stars began to move across the sky, we barely noticed the passing of time. And not once did my thoughts wander to my loss of Daryl.
I finally finished the tale as the sun was ready to rise again behind us.
"That was truly fascinating. You know, I'm not even tired?"
I stretched. "I barely noticed it was morning."
"So, I guess you're going back home to South Figaro, right?"
"Yeah. Where were you headed?"
"Oh, I don't know. Nowhere specific, I guess."
"Just wandering."
"Yes."
"Tell you what...I'll give you a lift to South Figaro."
"Well, I don't want to intrude..."
"Trust me, there's no trouble at all."
"Well, in that case, alright."
"Great. Gather up your stuff, and we'll leave right away."
"Done."
"Good. Follow me."
* * * * * *
"This is -- fantastic! You can see for miles!"
I laughed. "It's hopelessly addictive -- being up here -- the feeling of freedom..."
"Yeah."
"So...have you ever been to my casino?"
"Once or twice. I suppose you weren't there. I would've remembered someone like you."
"Well, I don't spend a lot of time there. My assistants, Karn and Marle, keep the place running smoothly when I'm not there. They understand my need for adventure. And I know I can trust them."
"About how high up are we?" she asked, looking over the edge.
"About five hundred feet."
She whistled, and looked out again, thoroughly impressed.
I decided the next question was only fair. Besides, I wanted her to come over closer to me and talk.
"So, Jenna Stan...I told you a story about my life. Tell me about yourself."
"Not much to say, really," she said, leaving the railing and approaching me. She leaned on the banister to my left. "I grew up in Nikeah. But I told you that. I have two brothers, two sisters...I'm right in the middle. My father is a fisherman. Which I suppose is no surprise, seeing as it's Nikeah. My mom stays at home and bakes cookies. She has a simple life, but I love her, anyway. My brother Erin's a merchant, and Dillon's a sailor on Erin's ship. My sister Rubia is married to a fisherman...You know, housewife and all that, just like mom. And my sister Emily is still a pup. There's almost twelve years between us. She's still at home, looking for her Prince who'll take her away from the boredom of living at home. My family moved to Wayside last year, when it was founded. My dad wanted to try fishing new waters. It's worked out pretty good so far."
"It must have been something having such a large family."
"Rubia and Dillon kept saying they wished they were only children. But I liked having all those siblings. What about you? Do you have any?"
I couldn't believe how much that question stung me. But I decided to respond as normally as I could. "No."
I suppose my response had been a lot colder than I had desired, for Jenna appeared to notice it, and drop the subject. "Of course, I got bored of a sedate life in Nikeah, so I left."
"It's a pretty rough life. Why didn't you opt to just settle down?"
"If -- that had been a option, I would've taken it."
"I just get asked that question a lot myself."
"What about you?"
"If it had been an option, settling down would've been nice. But it's not. Ten years ago, perhaps."
"Yes."
"So, how long have you been on the open road?"
"Thirteen years. I've seen most of the northern world. I've never been to Maduria or Albrook. Because of Wayside, I spend a lot of time in Dracon."
"Just wandering, or adventuring?"
"I'm not a big fan of danger. I guess I'm a drifter. I take odd jobs -- stay a couple months, and then leave for the next town..."
"You don't find it lonely?"
"Oh, yeah. Sometimes. But the freedom makes it all worth it in the long run."
"I agree And if I feel like being around people, I just go home, or visit one of my friends."
I sensed something about her -- something she was hiding from me. And I decided if I asked her about why, specifically, that she didn't stay in Nikeah would cause her to counter with the same question about me. And that was one I couldn't really answer. But I wondered exactly why a woman her age would forsake a husband and family to live a lonely life on the road. Especially since she had so much family around her. I could understand my friend Locke's need for adventure, but he was a treasure hunter, and he got more out of it than I felt a simple drifter would. Adventuring was life on the edge -- it was the thrill of danger that drove Locke. But drifters were usually escaping something. I knew that better than anyone. For I had spent most of my life as a drifter. Some of it, blessedly, with Daryl. But since Daryl had died...I understood the loneliness, the way of escaping your problems from distancing yourself from them. So I knew that something had happened to her thirteen years ago, in Nikeah. But I didn't like people prying into my life, so I chose to leave her secrets alone. Unless she, herself, wanted to reveal them.
"Hold on tight," I said. "I'm going to give it some altitude. If you're not used to it, it can pack quite a punch. Wouldn't want to lose you."
"I wouldn't want you to lose me, either."
I saw her take a tighter hold onto the railing, but I didn't feel it would be enough.
"Maybe you'd better stand over here by me."
"Hmmm...okay. Can you show me how it's done?"
"By all means. Here. Take the wheel. I'll stand behind you and guide you."
She placed her hands on the control, so I put mine just below hers. We were very close. I could smell the sweet scent of her hair, and the skin on her hands were amazingly soft for someone on the road.
"Now put your foot on this pedal. It will accelerate the engine. Don't press it down yet. And this lever to your left is the elevation control. To raise the ship, pull it towards you, and slowly press down the pedal. If you do either too quickly, you'll send us straight up, and she doesn't like that too much."
"Okay."
"So...on three...one...two...three!"
I eased my arm back, and put very little pressure on the stick as she pulled on the elevation control. I wanted to trust her, and rightly so. The force of the action made her body lean back into mine.
"Wow!" she called as the ship leveled out. "I'm flying an airship."
I stepped back to relieve some of the tension building in me.
"Beautiful," I said. "You're a natural."
"I know that if you treat a machine with gentle care, it'll be with you forever."
"Good philosophy."
"Who built this ship?" she asked as she stepped away from the controls to allow me back in my place. I took it.
"A good friend of mine. But the one you saw flying over Nikeah -- she was mine. I designed the airship, and built her with my own two hands, piece by piece. I named her the Blackjack, because a lucky hand gave me the funds to finish her. It just about killed me when I lost her in the Great Cataclysm."
"Which ship was better? The Blackjack or this one?"
"Well, the Falcon here is faster. But that's because she's smaller -- more fleet, than the Blackjack was. I suppose both ships have their good and bad points. But I suppose the Blackjack was just a little better. But that's because she was my baby."
"You designed and built her all yourself...you know about that sort of thing? I thought you were just a gambler."
"When I was young, physics was an interest of mine. I absorbed everything I could find on the subject. I studied physics, mechanics, engines, and aerodynamics, which was a fairly new science at the time, and brought about by Imperial experiments. Plus I had always dreamed of flying."
"Do you still dabble in it?"
"Not as much. But my friend Edgar always shows me what he's working on. I'm the only other person in this world who seems to understand how he got Figaro Castle to burrow underground."
"So you must be sort of a genius to get that burrowing thing. I heard even big name scientists are baffled about it."
"I don't see why. It's really very easy."
"Whatever. How much longer to South Figaro?"
"At this speed, about three to four hours. But let me crank up the engines, and we'll be there just before lunch."
"You're that anxious to be rid of me?"
"No. Of course not."
I knew she hadn't been truly insulted by my words, so I took the Falcon into her highest speed, then left the wheel.
"Do you need a place to stay?"
"In South Figaro? Well, actually, yes."
"Well, now you do. You'll always have a room at the Lyrad's Moon."
"Oh! Thank you!"
"It's no trouble."
"You know, how did you come up with a crazy name like that? Is Lyrad someone you knew once?"
"Yeah, sort of. A long time ago."
"Must have been a pretty good friend to have a casino named after them."
"My best friend for a lot of years."
"Still around?"
She could probably see the pain in my eyes. For 'Lyrad' was actually 'Daryl' spelled backwards.
"No," I said plainly, offering nothing more.
"I'm sorry. It's -- terrible to lose your best friend."
I nodded, yet detected the way she had broken up that sentence. As if she, too, had once lost someone very close to her. I decided to change the subject.
"On a lighter note, though, I just have to ask you what your best game is."
"Game? Oh. Of course. Blackjack. By far, Blackjack."
"Really?"
As we continued to talk for the next few hours, I discovered that we shared many interests, and had plenty more in common with her than I had with anyone I had met in the last ten years -- ever since Daryl had died. I admit, I was falling for her. Not only was she beautiful, she was smart, too. Never since Daryl had I found anyone so appealing.
South Figaro arrived much too soon. I parked the Falcon in her usual place -- the high-ceilinged hangar I had built for her just outside town. I could keep her locked up and safe that way. Then Jenna and I walked towards the casino, talking all the way.
As we entered, I saw the towheaded Marle sitting at the check-in window.
"Well, well..." she said. "Looks as if you made a friend, boss."
"This is Jenna," I introduced.
"Jenna Stan."
"I'm Marle. Nice to meet you."
"Jenna's allowed to stay here any time she wishes."
I saw Marle's face light up. She sensed my feelings. After all, I had only ever reserved rooms for my Worldsaver friends.
I leaned over, looking right at Marle. "It's nothing like that. She's just a friend."
Marle nodded knowingly. "Whatever you say."
I cleared my throat. "I'll show you to your room."
Jenna nodded. "I think I'd better nap a couple hours. I didn't realize how tired I really was..."
"Yeah. We were up all night, weren't we?"
"Hey, I don't mind if it's because someone's telling a good story. And then lets me ride on his airship."
"Well, that's good to hear. So, I'll leave you be. Besides, the casino closes at three in the morning, so you'll have plenty of time to play the tables."
"Great. How about you join me? I'd love to see the place."
I couldn't resist. "Alright. How about around nine o'clock?"
"Great. Well, see you then."
I nodded. "Have a good rest."
She went into her room and closed the door.
I stood there, dumbfounded for a few moments. I too hadn't slept, but there was no way I could possibly even think about it. Jenna Stan had captivated me, and I was still stunned and weak-kneed.
"She's a beautiful woman, boss."
At the sound of the voice, I turned to see Karn, Marle's husband, standing next to me with an expectant smile on his lips.
I turned to go down the stairs, wrapping my capes around me as a sort of passive way of saying 'none of your business'. After all, how could I explain it all to someone else when I could barely explain it to myself?
I adjourned to my office below the staircase. I sat down at my desk, and let out a long sigh. Before I knew my eyes became heavy, and I fell asleep.
* * * * * *
Amazingly, we spent the rest of the night together. Not as one would expect a man and a woman to do, but just going around the casino, showing her the operations, letting her play a few games. But I merely watched her play. I chose to reserve playing with her until we were better acquainted. Until I was sure she was a good loser. I realized that she really wasn't too bad a gambler. Not as good as Karn or I was, but sure good enough to leave the tables a few GP in the black. It was amazing how fast time went that evening. Before I knew it, it was closing time. But I wasn't tired yet, and Jenna didn't appear to be, either, so I invited her to have a drink with me. She agreed, so I led her back to my office. Then I went down to the cellar and got a bottle of 'Vie', a Doman white. It was sweet and not too dry. The bottle I chose was over twenty years old -- 981 was a good year in the Doman vineyards. Satisfied, I returned to my office.
Before I knew, it was morning again. We had spent the rest of the night talking again. It was amazing how long I could sit and talk to her without even the slightest bit of boredom. Since Daryl, I had never known anyone who I could talk to for hours without becoming bored. Well, Relm, but she was just a kid. I wouldn't even think of trying to woo her. But with Jenna there was just something so right and natural about it. I even saw the way I talked to her was different. I could tell her things I had never told anyone before. My dreams of the future, my feelings about my friends. But no matter how comfortable I felt around her, I just couldn't bring myself to even mention Daryl, not even to say what a good friend she had been, or how our life had been when we were growing up together. It wasn't that it wasn't important. I suppose it might explain why I am who I am...but I felt that by telling her, I might have dredged up some of her pity which is not something I wanted. I just wanted to enjoy the now with this wonderful woman. The problem was, I couldn't tell if she felt the same way about me. Those lovely midnight blue eyes didn't betray her even once. I couldn't stand it. But I instantly loved it. It surprised me, my interest in a woman who was completely unreadable. But I realize now that Daryl had been a little that way. Yet, I could also tell those two were inherently different in some ways as well. Jenna, being older, was a lot more understanding of my faults. Daryl tried to keep me honest. I suppose I don't blame her. All throughout our childhood, she was constantly getting me out of messes. But I sense Jenna would rather let me be who I am.
* * * * * *
Days passed, but it didn't seem like any had. But that was a good thing. Because every moment with Jenna was like an amazing dream. We were becoming really good friends, telling each other of the places we'd been. Collectively we'd seen the world three times over. I could hardly believe how easy it was to talk to her, even after days had gone by. Our opinions on things rarely clashed, and when they did we simply agreed to disagree. I found myself often just falling into those midnight blue eyes. They were just so full of life.
But then one day, two weeks from the day I had brought her here to South Figaro, she dropped a bomb on my hopes of our future together.
"I'm going to be moving on tomorrow. I feel I've well stayed beyond my welcome here."
"Nonsense!" I said for lack of something better. "You'll always be welcome here."
"I know. But I just have to move on to -- well, Egan, I guess."
I wanted to exclaim, 'No! You can't leave me!', but then I regained my calm, cool exterior, and simply nodded.
"I've been to Egan before for a time. I like it. It's a nice little town. "I'll see how job prospects are there. If there's nothing, I'll move on. But you know I won't be there long, anyway."
I knew that she would be back one day, but the very thought of not knowing when haunted me.
"Do you know when you'll be back?" I asked.
"No idea. Maybe a couple years, if things go well."
A couple years! It seemed so long to wait. I knew I would miss her terribly. Though, I admit, I hadn't really known her all that long. But I was drawn to her. It wasn't destiny -- I had already lost my destined ten years ago. But it didn't mean my feelings for Jenna were any less intense. When you meet someone, and all at once it just clicks...how can you ignore that?
But I am a man who doesn't show my emotions easily. Being cold is the best way to win at poker. Yet I knew for sure this had to be love. For I hadn't felt so good since I had been with Daryl.
"You know, there is another option," I said in a final hope.
"What?"
"Well -- you could become my co-pilot and travel around with me."
"Pardon?"
"In fact, I'd really like it if you'd stay."
I knew it was a strange offer, and I really wasn't sure if she would accept it or not. But how I hoped she would.
"What's in it for me?"
"I can take you places that you've never seen."
"Maranda?"
"Sure. Why not?"
She nodded. "Okay. When do we leave?"
"Tonight."
"I'll be ready."
I nodded and left. I slipped silently into my office.
I jumped once in excitement. She wasn't going to leave my life. Not yet, anyway.
* * * * * *
Time passed.
The anniversary of Daryl's death came. And strangely, I felt very little pain over it, as I had in previous years. But it was all because of Jenna. She was an amazing woman. She was so full of life. How she had quickened me! I hadn't ever felt more alive. She had given me a reason to go on living.
And then, one night on the cliff side where we had met, she told me something which I had been waiting to hear.
"The truth is -- you do something to me, Setzer. When we're together -- I feel so alive! I haven't felt this wonderful in years."
"Well..." I said.
"The truth is, I've fallen hard for you," she continued.
I laughed.
"What's so funny?"
"Oh. Nothing. It's just -- that I feel the same way about you."
"I know," she said. "I can see it in your smile. The way your eyes light up when you see me."
"Oh. It's that obvious?"
"Yes. But I like it. It's one of my favourite things about you."
I stared out into the ocean. Until that moment, I hadn't known for sure whether Jenna was interested in me at all. And now that I knew, everything seemed right with the world. And the sunset became beautiful again.
This had been our hill once -- mine and Daryl's. We spent many evenings and nights here in our youth. And we discovered our love for each other here, too. I had so many memories...but right then, all I could think of was making more with Jenna.
I felt Daryl's eyes on me. But I didn't care.
I looked up into the sky.
"Forgive me, Daryl..." I thought. Then I looked at Jenna.
She leaned closer to me, and I kissed her. And somehow I felt that Daryl didn't mind. She wouldn't want me to be miserable forever. If I was in her place, I would have wanted her to find someone else. So I forgot about it.
* * * * * *
In June, I met Jenna's parents. I suppose it was a logical next step. I've heard of guys who have dreaded it, but it wasn't bad at all. Her dad's a little rough around the edges, but he's a good man. And her mother -- she was like the mother I never had. The "always smiling-baking cookies" type. But she was also a very bright woman, who loved to talk. I knew where Jenna had gotten that trait from. Best of all, they seemed to like me. Jenna's sister, Emily, appeared to be particularly interested in how much money the casino made in a day. She nearly fainted when I told her. I suppose she had yet to see that much in her life, much less one day.
"And you're serious about this guy, right?" Emily asked Jenna.
Jenna nodded. "Very serious."
"You're going to be rich! You're so lucky!"
"Hey, hey..." Jenna began. "I didn't fall for his money."
"Yeah. But it helps."
I laughed.
"Well, we have to get back to South Figaro. We'd better get moving," she said, patting me on the knee.
"Yes," I agreed.
Emily rushed to get my coat. She didn't have to, but I wasn't going to complain. I took it from her, and slipped it on.
Emily whispered something in Jenna's ear. Jenna laughed and responded back. Emily's eyes grew wide. Girl talk, I supposed.
Jenna took my arm and opened the door.
"Bye, everyone!" she called out, waving.
"It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Stan," I spoke, bowing slightly.
Emily looked puzzled for a moment. "But..."
"Well, let's go," Jenna spoke in a interrupting tone, herding me out the door.
Once again, really suspicious. But I didn't mind. I had yet to tell her about Daryl. I felt bad keeping it from her. But I felt it was best.
* * * * * *
Once again, time passed.
Our relationship grew with our love for each other. Before I knew, it was August.
It was then that she dropped the bombshell on me.
"You know, maybe we should get married," she said plainly, not as a proposal herself, but as a prompting for me to ask her.
All at once, I filled with dread. I had been married to Daryl. The idea of marriage shouldn't have frightened me. But it did. It was a strange feeling. I didn't know why right away. Then it came to me. It was the fear of losing her. Everyone I had ever loved had left me. Perhaps I was afraid to become too close.
"Why?" I asked just as plainly as she had stated.
"Why?" she chuckled. "Come on, Setzer. Isn't it plain that this isn't just a fling anymore? You know as well as I do. This is as close to destiny as two people ever get without being destined."
"I know. Why ruin it with marriage? I like things just the way that they are between us."
I hadn't realized how angry that was going to make her. In fact, I think I had yet to see her so angry.
"Do you know what your problem is, Setzer? You're scared of commitment."
"No. I just don't like it. There's nothing better than being free of obligations."
"Oh. And that's all I am to you? An obligation? A liability?" No,
But deep within me, my mean streak filtered through. "Yes," I said, but quickly regretted it. But my pride would not allow me to apologize.
"Well, if you're not going to take this relationship seriously, I'm outta here. I don't have time to waste on people who are just going to jerk me around."
"I'm not jerking you around."
"Give me a break, Setzer."
"It has nothing to do with you." You'll never understand... I thought.
"Well, you just said I was only an obligation."
"Yes and no. I can't tell you any more."
"You can be such a jerk sometimes." She's right. You really are a jerk, Setzer. Sometimes I just hate myself...
"I know. I really can be, can't I?" I spoke, trying to hide my own insecurities in my tone.
"Don't you care about anything?"
"Perhaps I do. Perhaps that's the whole problem."
"You're impossible."
"I just don't see why we should ruin a good thing like we have with marriage."
"Do you love me at all, Setzer?"
Oh, no.... I thought. Not that question.
Last time I answered that question, I regretted it. It almost brought more pain to my life than I could muster.
I scowled. "What kind of a question is that?"
"Do you?"
I looked at her a moment, then chuckled to myself. "Why do women always insist on hearing that?"
"Because men have a strange way of showing it sometimes."
She's good, I thought, looking at her. She had melted me. I knew I did love her very much, but I couldn't bring myself to admit it outright. Not just to her, but to my own heart. Not 'I love you'. Never again.
"Alright, I admit it. I care for you. Okay?"
"You would miss me if I were to leave."
"You're my co-pilot. I'd be lost without you. Besides, then I'd have nobody to fool around with."
"Then why don't we get married?"
"How did I know it would all come back to this? How many times do I have to tell you I don't believe in marriage?"
"Give me one good reason why not."
"It's just too stable. You know how I hate stability."
"Oh, you're full of it. The Lyrad's Moon is pretty stable, and it's your business."
"Yeah, but I'm not even there half the time."
"Yeah. The difference between me and the Lyrad is that I can travel with you."
"We've got a good partnership going on here. I admit it. But if we got married, it wouldn't work."
"What would really change? We'd still be partners. We'd still be living together."
"Exactly. Nothing is going to change if we get married. So why can't we just stay partners?"
"If it isn't going to change anything, why are you so afraid to do it? What's there to be afraid of?"
Losing you, I thought, but didn't voice it.
"I'm not afraid of anything."
I watched as she raised her arms and dropped them to her sides, sighing and rolling her eyes. Skies, she was beautiful when she was mad. As I sat there, gazing at her, her expression changed. I swear, I saw a brilliant idea form in her mind. There's just something in her eyes when she's excited...
"Tell you what..." she said, looking at me evenly. "I challenge you to a game. Your choice. If you win, I'll leave you alone with this stuff. But if I win, you'll marry me."
A game. She knew me too well. She knew I was a sucker for games. And it was even harder for me to resist accepting such a challenge. I looked at her suspiciously. "Pretty high stakes, there."
"You always say the higher the stakes, the better the game."
I laughed. "Okay. I accept. I'm feeling lucky tonight."
"Okay. Choose your game."
It wasn't fair, I knew it. But my mind sought out the most difficult gambling game in the world. Something I had a full grasp of, but she likely didn't. She was a fair gambler, but I was better, and she knew it. But she did tell me to choose my game. A game with hundreds of rules and endless 'conditional modifiers', which changed the game's variables, depending on anything from the seating arrangement to the weather outside. The modifiers had changed over the years, and often casino owners created 'house rules'. I chose to keep the modern standard rules in place at the Lyrad's Moon, in order to preserve the game's integrity. It was a rather intricate game, rumoured to have been brought to this world by a strange creature who claimed he was from another dimension. More likely by a crazy man who thought he was from another dimension. But it was a good game no matter what the origin.
"Dragon Poker," I said.
I was a bit surprised when she didn't even flinch. "Dragon Poker it is," she said.
"But I am warning you. I won last year's Dragon Poker tournament at the Lyrad's Moon by ten thousand gold."
"I know. You've told me."
"I'll tell Marle to save us a seat at the Lyrad."
* * * * * *
And so there we were, sitting across from each other. The regular crowd who knew Jenna and me were gathered around. Somehow news of our tournament had gotten around. News travels fast in a gambling society, so it was no true mystery to me. Besides, I loved spectators almost as much as the game itself.
"Five thousand in chips each. We play until one of us is busted, or sunup. Whichever is first."
"Agreed," she said, that daring look in her eye that had endeared her to me in the first place.
Typically, the person who had been challenged dealt the first hand in Dragon Poker. But I picked up the wrapped cards and passed them to her.
"Ladies first," I said.
She gave me a puffed up smiled and took the deck from my hand. She carefully unwrapped them, and briefly inspected them for marks. Of course, I had decided not to cheat. That took all the fun out of the challenge, especially in these high stakes games. When she was satisfied, she dealt out seven to each of us.
I picked up my hand, but didn't really pay attention to it at first. I was watching her out of the corner of my eye. She glanced over her hand, and I was shocked to see her face remain stone cold. Totally emotionless. At that moment I realized I had never played poker of any kind with her before. I would remember that look of unreadable silence.
Slightly unnerved, I tried to hide my shock. I looked over my own hand, and realized she had dealt me a full house -- three of a kind and a pair, and two cards of nothing. A normally very good hand. But seeing as it was Thursday, I might as well have scrapped the hand and started over. A three of a kind wasn't worth anything on Thursdays. So the best I had was two pairs, and low pairs at that.
I waited for her to throw her chips in the pot.
"One thousand," she said, throwing a rare purple one into the middle of the table.
I looked at her. One thousand? Was she nuts? Or was she just a good bluffer? I couldn't tell.
"I call," I responded, throwing another purple chip on the pile. I decided I would not to raise at this point. I would wait and see what my hand looked like later. "I'll take three," I said, choosing to keep the pairs in the hopes I would be able to do something with them.
She calmly gave me three cards. I assembled them, and noticed I had four nines. Nines were dominant on my side of the table. And, being Thursday, that gave them triple the power. I might as well have been dealt seven aces. But there were still three hands that could beat mine -- five sixes, for sixes on her side of the table were dominant, and, being a night of a half moon, were just as strong as my nines; the ever-powerful dragon flush, the highest seven cards in a row of all one suit; and the dragon card, for on nights when the Crimson Star sets before sundown, the dragon card cancels out any nines, no matter what the seating arrangement or the day of the week. Of course, in a deck of one hundred and twenty cards, it was unlikely she had received the card in her first hand. Or was it?
She looked at me, rolling her tongue inside her mouth in thought. I noted she had chosen to take only three cards. As I watched her, nothing about her appearance betrayed her. Not even so much as a flickering in her eye....
She sorted some of her chips. I noticed her piling three neat piles of yellow chips -- ten in each pile...
"Three thousand..." she said. She is nuts
"I see your three thousand, and I raise you five hundred."
I watched as she glared at the growing pot. Would she make this a one-hand game?
"I see your five hundred...and raise you five hundred."
She dared. I couldn't believe it! My heart raced. I couldn't lose now. There was too much at stake.
"I call. What do you have?"
I felt the rush of excitement fill me. This was always the best part of the game.
She slowly flipped back her cards to reveal three eights and two crowns - a full house. An average hand, even a hand that could defeat another easily. But, this being Thursday, was merely two pairs. I looked up at her, wondering if she knew that. As I saw her face, I saw the emotion finally enter her eyes. I knew that she understood what this meant. Her hand was mediocre. Therefore I would probably win, and she would part ways with me. I knew she would, even though she hadn't said it. If I wasn't ready to make a commitment, she wouldn't waste any more time on me.
I should have been excited over my victory, but I wasn't. I felt a familiar sense of loss...but only somehow this was worse. I had lost Daryl through fate. But Jenna...if I lost her, it was my fault. And nobody else's.
I tilted my head back and laughed. No. I wouldn't blow this chance at having happiness again.
"Is the church still open?" I asked.
The crowd raised up in excited voices as I rose and knelt by Jenna's side of the table.
"Will you marry me?" I asked.
She smiled. "Give me a break. Of course."
"Okay, then," I said, standing again. I then bent down and grabbed her around the waist. She laughed, and put up a small, meaningless struggle...not so much to escape, but to make me work harder.
I whisked her out the door of the Lyrad, and put her down on the doorstep. I looked at her, and she looked so happy.
"I would love to have the king marry us, and have all the pomp and circumstance..." I began. "But I don't want to wait that long."
"A Justice will do. I don't care."
I leaned over and kissed her. She was a wonderful woman. And now she was mine. I had finally pushed Daryl aside. Not that my heart still didn't hold a special place for her. But Jenna was the new queen in my heart. It had to be that way, or I would never be able to go on with my life.
* * * * * *
Later that evening after a brief ceremony at the house of Justice Marin, Jenna and I went back to spend time alone together in our room above the Lyrad's Moon.
"So," I asked her. "Who taught you how to gamble like that?"
"My dad. He taught me and my brothers how to play Dragon Poker. We'd bet for candy. He has a sweet tooth. And it's pretty easy to beat kids."
"At least until they learn how to play."
"Oh, I whipped my brothers all the time. That's why my brothers are a merchant and a sailor and not gamblers."
"Pretty good poker face. I couldn't read it."
"Well, I'm sorry. I can't say the same for you. It could just be that I know you too well or something. After all, you are the Dragon Poker champ, and you were doing something right there."
"I guess you were right to go for broke, then."
"Yeah, well...that was my plan. Get you in one hand. I knew that would thrill you to no end."
"I think you're crazy. You could have lost just as easily."
"I suppose. Then again, I did lose, didn't I?"
For a moment I wondered if I had heard her right.
"What?" I asked.
"Don't play innocent, Setzer. Your hand was much better than mine was."
"How do you know that?"
"I told you. Your eyes gave you away. That's why you didn't show your hand. Luckily I told Marle to keep our cards. I was going to have them framed. I'm sure come tomorrow morning, I'll know what exactly it was that you had."
She was good. She knew me much too well. But I loved her for it.
"Four nines," I said.
"Worth two each on your side of the table on Thursday. You might as well have been dealt a straight flush."
"Then again, if you had the dragon card..."
"I could have annihilated you," she laughed, then smiled brandishly. "But I didn't. I swear, you are luckiest person I know."
"I know. I married you, didn't I?"
"Yeah."
She looked at me, and the expression in her eyes changed.
"Why did you decide to let me win?"
"Because I realized I was being a big jerk."
"I'll say. I had an easier time getting Doan to marry me."
"WHO?" I questioned. The name was new to me. Did she say 'marry'...?
She put a hand on my knee. "I didn't mean to bring it up now. But the longer I hide it, the worse it will get. I should have told you before. I'm -- I was a widower. Doan and I grew up together. He was my best friend. When we got older, one thing eventually led to another. We got married in the spring. But it wasn't meant to last. By the next winter, he was dead. He had gotten a job as a guard on one of the South Figaro bound ferries. But on the first voyage, they hit a storm. It never arrived in port, and they never found the wreckage. It's unlikely there were any survivors."
I squinted, looking at her. I couldn't believe she had never told me this.
"I don't know why I put off telling you about Doan. I guess I was afraid that you would lose interest in me or something. You have to understand. Doan lives on in my heart. But it's been thirteen years since then. For a long time, I was afraid to love again. But when I saw you, I couldn't resist. Please don't hate me for not saying anything..."
The irony of it all! I thought. Here I spent all my time trying to avoid telling her about Daryl, and she had been hiding almost the same secret.
"I love it," I said aloud. "This is almost too bizarre to believe."
"W - What?" Jenna asked.
It was then that I proceeded to tell her about Daryl. As the tale went on, I saw her eyes brighten.
"No way!" she exclaimed. "And here I thought you wouldn't understand."
"And I thought you wouldn't."
"It all makes sense now. You were just afraid of losing me like you lost her."
"It was really stupid, you know. It still would have hurt if you had died yesterday. Now it's just more official."
"I know."
"You know...I'm still not telling you everything," I said knowing there was one last thing that I had to say. Normally I would choke on the words, but they were heartfelt.
"What?" she asked.
"I love you."
She smiled. "I know. Or I wouldn't be here."
"You'd be long gone."
"Half way to Kohlingen."
"So...how do you want to spend our honeymoon? Here at Lyrad's Moon, or in some far-off exotic place?"
"How exotic?"
"However exotic you want it."
"Well, exotic sounds good."
"Then we can leave tomorrow morning."
"Oh. I guess we'd better get some rest, then."
"Well...we could leave in the later morning. I can think of other things we can do tonight."
"Oh, like what?" she said, only to humour me.
"What say we fool around Mrs. Gabbiani?"
"Sure, Mr. Gabbiani."
Marriage. Huh. Who would ever guess I'd get involved in that mess again? But I didn't regret it. Jenna Stan was someone really special. As special to me as Daryl once had been. I could think of no one better to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who, like me, didn't care where they would be at that time tomorrow. Someone who longed to see the world. Now we would do it all together. It was what I had loved most about Daryl. And now about Jenna. Forever always.
And ONWARD....
Final Fantasy 6, it's characters and situations are (c)2000 by Squaresoft.