The Search for Catnip
Written by Amaterasu Ai
Disclaimer: …Amaterasu Ai doesn't own…Tite Kubo does! ('Cept for the OC)
Summary: Grimmjow's bored. Like, extremely bored. Like…so bored that he decides to go and get high…from cat nip. But one problem stands in his way... He can't find it.
~G~
Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was just sitting on his couch being bored. Extremely bored. Like, so bored he just felt dead. But he IS dead…so yes, he feels dead-ish and alive-ish… Oh, and bored. There was nothing to do in the room. The TV was broken, thanks to Nnoitra. The balcony was no fun anymore either. Last time he sat on the edge, Nnoitra had pushed him off. It took him an HOUR to get back into his room.
He did not want that to happen again.
'Wait…something just occurred to me…' thought the Sexta Espada to himself. Nnoitra isn't here at the moment…
But the man has freakin' "when Grimmjow is very vulnerable to a prank" senses. So he couldn't risk it.
Still, there was nothing to do. Grimmjow was bored. He couldn't sleep because he wasn't tired, but he couldn't stay awake because boredom was driving him insane. He WOULD go and do something with his fraccion, but it was Monday, meaning that everyone would be down in the dumps.
Mondays sucked. Start of the new week, everything's fresh and all, BUT after work, everyone would be so tired that they don't feel like doing anything.
"I'm bored." Grimmjow voiced the obvious. He was just sitting on the couch, sighing every few minutes.
"I know," replied Mai Cifer, his roommate, the Sixth point Fifth Espada. She was just sitting on the bed, reading a book that most likely came from Ulquiorra's room. Where else would she get a book? Grimmjow wouldn't have any books in his room.
Grimmjow and Mai usually took turns on who would sleep on the bed and who on the couch. Tonight, Grimmjow had to take the couch. Plus, it was Monday, so it sucked a bit more than usual.
Another sigh. "I know that you know that I'm bored. I'm BORED. There's nothing to DO!" he said with yet another sigh. He glanced at Mai. "What are you doing?"
"Reading, what else?" She replied, not looking away from the book.
Grimmjow sighed again. She was no help. No one could help with his boredom, so Grimmjow decided to go and do what he does when he's extremely bored and has nothing (that he wants) to do.
Getting up, Grimmjow walked over to the bed. He stood there for a bit as Mai looked up at him. After the moment was over, without any warning Grimmjow picked Mai up from her seat. She let out an "EEP!" as he tossed her onto the couch.
"Why did you just do that?" she asked as Grimmjow threw his mattress off of the bed. When he saw that there was nothing under there, he frowned.
"I'm looking for something." was all he gave for an answer. Next, Grimmjow walked onto the balcony, making sure he stayed away from the railing, and looked in the corner and dug a bit in the plant.
"You look like an idiot right now, digging around in a plant and crawling around like that."
Grimmjow ignored her as he straightened up and walked into the bathroom. He looked in various places for the 'something' that he was looking for, but didn't seem to find it.
"If you tell me what you're looking for, I could help you," offered Mai as she got off the couch. She found it amusing to watch Grimmjow look everywhere in the room. By the time he had searched everywhere in the space, the room looked like a whirling blue tornado had been through it.
"I could almost swear that I put it in my mattress…" said Grimmjow to himself. He just stood in the middle of the mess that he called his room, lost in thought.
"Well~ since you're busy, I'll go and make sure that…uh…my fraccion aren't killing each other." Mai started leaving the room. "And clean up, will ya?"
Suddenly, Grimmjow looked over to his roommate, who was almost out the door. He sonido'ed in front of her.
"You smell fishy," he said with narrowed eyes.
Mai gave a smile that seemed slightly suspicious. "How nice of you," she said as Grimmjow's prying nose entered her space bubble. She pushed his face back with her hand.
Grimmjow grabbed her hand and eyed her suspiciously again. "Your hand smells like cat nip. My cat nip." After a silent moment passed, he continued. "You hid it, didn't you?"
All he got back was a smile.
"Now, why would I hide your treasured catnip, Grimmjow-kun?" asked Mai in an innocent voice, but with a smile that was the complete opposite. She always used that tone when she was hiding something.
"Where did you hide it?" he demanded as he dragged her out into the hall and headed toward her fraccion's room. When they barged in, they found a rather…odd scene…
Leola Granz, Szayel's adopted sister, was taking a nap. Hana Harribel, Tia's younger long lost sister, was standing above her with a menacing look on her face. Jerico Kiatcero, the tallest one of the three, was perched above her head, wearing only his hakama that was kind of loose with a tie around his neck.
"What…are you doing?" asked Mai as she peered around Grimmjow and chocked back a laugh.
"We're trying to scare Leola-chan," answered Hana as she went back to staring at the sleeping Leola.
"Okay...but more importantly… Did. You. Take. My. Cat. Nip?" asked Grimmjow as he glared around the room.
The two shook there heads.
Grimmjow started to leave.
"Aren't you going to check their room? Like you did with ours?" asked Mai with a snicker as Leola started to open her eyes.
"Nah, their freaks, and I'm sure Hana would be high on cat nip if you gave it to them to hide." They just left when they heard a loud shriek from Leola as Kiatcero and Hana laughed their guts out.
~G~
"ILFORTE!" Grimmjow barged into the blonde's room.
"BRO! What the hell? I'm on the toilet!" yelled Ilforte from his bathroom.
Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "Then close the door, there's a lady present." From their view in the hall, they could see Ilforte's foot kicking the door shut. "Did you take my cat nip?"
"Why would I want your cat nip, bro? I'm the bull, not some kitty cat."
Grimmjow looked like he would kill the man…if he weren't on the toilet. So instead of yelling at his fraccion about how panthers were graceful and whatnot, he decided to tear his room apart, trying to find it.
By the time Ilforte was done with his business, his room was trashed. The bed was turned over, his couch cushions had knocked his TV over, the couch itself was sitting in front of the bathroom door, and all the clothes in his closet was spread over everything.
And Grimmjow himself was nowhere in sight.
Ilforte sighed; this was going to take forever to clean up. Maybe he should get his neat freak of a brother to come in and clean up for him.
~G~
"Grimmjow, where are you going now?" asked Mai as the light blue haired Espada left his quarters.
"Finding my treasure. I'm sure you're not going to tell me, so I'll just find it myself."
Sure enough, he inspected every inch of the hallway, probably giving Gin a good laugh in the control room. Next, they found themselves at Szayel's place. When they got to his office, the pink haired scientist was there himself.
"What can I do for you today, Mister and Lady Sexta?" he asked with mock politeness. Grimmjow pulled him up by the collar over the table.
"Did you steal my cat nip? And don't lie to me because I swear I will rip you to pieces if you have it." Szayel looked up in fear, most likely acting.
"Hey, I already studied cat nip, I wouldn't need it!" said Szayel as he held up his hands. "Now put me DOWN, because you're choking me!"
Grimmjow didn't put him down. Instead, he threw him into a chair and started tearing apart his office.
"MY WORK!" screeched Szayel as he made an attempt to stop him. "STOP IT!"
Grimmjow didn't stop. He continued to throw papers everywhere and open all the drawers and toppled the desk over. He even went as far as unplugging the computer and throwing it out of his way to see if it was hidden underneath. He only found a Play Boy magazine. Next, he flipped over the couch and pulled the couch cushions off, finding more magazines with R rated pictures on them.
"Grimmjow, STOP IT!" yelled Szayel as he threw a paper weight at the Sexta. It didn't work because he had stepped out of the way. "THAT IS TEN YEARS OF WORK IN THAT DRAWER! DON'T-!"
The light blue haired Sexta threw a cushion at him and continued to tear the room apart. He just HAD to find his cat nip.
"Where is it?"
"NOT IN HERE!" screamed Szayel as he pulled out his zanpaktou. "Susure-!"
Szayel was stopped in the middle of release because Grimmjow just took Mai by the wrist and dragged her out of the place once again. He was done searching the scientist's office anyways...and he knew how screwed up Szayel's mind was when he released and didn't need to be responsible for anything that happened to him or Mai.
~G~
"If I were cat nip…where would Mai hide me…" pondered Grimmjow as he kept walking around, continuing to check every inch of the hall. Suddenly, he stopped. A light bulb had flashed above his head. "Your underwear drawer! I searched mine, but I didn't look through yours yet!" He started running back to their room, Mai quickly at his heels.
"Wait! Grimmjow! DON'T GO THROUGH IT!" Too late. They were already in the room and he was tearing the drawer apart, throwing the contents of the drawer everywhere, letting it just fly through the air and land wherever.
Mai ran around the room, trying to find all of her under garments and put them away.
"Nope, not in here…" Grimmjow stood up, ignoring the curses that was coming from the Sexta point Quinta. "Now where would she hide it...?" He continued to ponder, continuing to ignore the curses and the kick he got to the back. He also ignored the angry waves of reiatsu he felt from Ilforte's room. Also, Szayel's reiatsu was quite stressed too. But he ignored it.
~G~
"Ulquiorra."
"What about him?" asked Mai as she straightened her uniform, trying to hide the blush of embarrassment that was on her face.
"You WOULD ask your brother to hide my cat nip for you…" Grimmjow started running off to the Cuarto's room.
Mai sighed, "He isn't my brother, we just share a last name." It was just irritating when people think they're related. They don't even look alike!
Once they were in Ulquiorra's room, they found him sitting at his desk, reading, and Yammy sitting on a spare bed near the kitchen.
"Great, I was planning to get my pillow back, but looks like Yammy plans to sit on it," said Mai, who use to be Ulquiorra's fraccion. Grimmjow approached Ulquiorra with Pantera in his hand. "Tell me where the cat nip is, bat boy, or I'll slit your throat."
"I can regenerate," replied Ulquiorra calmly. Grimmjow cursed as he pulled Pantera back.
"I'll kill Yammy then," he re-threatened as he pointed his zanpaktou at the large eating piece of trash.
"Do as you wish," said Ulquiorra, continuing to read without looking up. Grimmjow cursed once again. He ran his hand through his hair as he looked around, trying to find something or someone to threaten or take as hostage.
"Well…worse comes to worst… I'll behead your dear little sister," re-threatened Grimmjow once again as he pulled Mai in front of him and held Pantera as if he was really going to cut her head off.
"We all know you really wouldn't." Grimmjow cursed again.
"I'll tear up your room." Grimmjow was proud of himself this time. Ulquiorra hated having his room messed up.
"You know Aizen-sama would make you clean it up then." That was true, Aizen-baka WOULD make him clean up the Cuarto's room.
Grimmjow's face looked murderous. If looks can kill, Ulquiorra would be dead…unless he could regenerate all the killed parts before any damage was done. The Sexta cursed under his breath. Just thinking about killing Ulquiorra was almost impossible. There was always SOMETHING standing in his way.
"Mai, tell me where the cat nip is, NOW, or I will tear Las Noches down, brick, by brick." Grimmjow was mad now. And when he's mad, there was destruction. Lots and lots of destruction. Like, he'll destroy every brick of Las Noches. Not many people can stop him. Either that, or they just don't care. Or...
"But…Grimmjow…Las Noches isn't made of bricks."
~G~
"G-Grimmjow..."
"What?"
Mai glared at him as she kicked the ice. "It's freezing in here! I warned you about pissing Harribel-san off!" She slashed the ice with her zanpaktou, but that failed. "Now we're going to die in here!"
"Do you believe me NOW that I do not have your cat nip?" called Harribel's voice from the other side of the ice wall.
"I believed you all along, Harribel-san! Now please let us out!" Grimmjow rolled his eyes at how weak willed his roommate was.
"I still don't believe you."
"Grimmjow-baka!" Said Grimmjow-baka got a hit to the head for that.
~G~
"Starrk." Grimmjow was now in the Primera's Quarters. It was, to say the least, comfy. Ever since Starrk had moved in, pillows and the occasional blanket was everywhere. With Lilinette in the room, the pillows and blankets were all different colors and looked like a rainbow from the really high ceiling. Starrk looked like he had been sleeping on the floor...while rolling all around it...again. Pillows were strewn everywhere and looked like a rainbow someone mixed up in a pot. Lilinette was currently throwing more pillows she got all over the room. "Starrk!" Grimmjow poked the Primera.
"What..." he rolled over sleepily and frowned when he saw who was bothering him. "If you want more sake, go to Nnoitra. Only the Primera gets the good stuff." Starrk yawned before rolling over again.
"Yeah, let's go, Grimmjow," Mai was about to leave when Grimmjow suddenly sonido'ed over to a drawer and pulled it open with such force that it caused stuff to fly out.
"AH-HA...never mind...dang, I seriously thought it would be in there..."
~G~
During the next few hours, Grimmjow searched EVERYWHERE. He searched every Espada's and fraccion's room. He even went through underwear drawers, earning him a slap or cero from most of the female arrancars (and Szayel Aporro when he walked in). Grimmjow had even went and bothered Tousen and Gin about it. Gin just laughed while Tousen went on about how justice was beautiful and that getting 'high from that who-ha nonsense" was not just.
He had dug through the sand in the dome and even went up to the roof and checked in every tower and pillar, but he couldn't find it. Curse that small mini bag of cat nip that just HAD to be so easy to hide.
Grimmjow was so desperate for the cat nip that he even released and dug through the sands of Hueco Mundo, even asking the occasional random hollow that didn't even know him if they had the cat nip.
After the sun (that Aizen created) had set, he went back to his room. "I swear, tomorrow, whoever has that cat nip, I will tear them apart to find it."
"I guess I can't tell you then, since I wouldn't want to be torn apart," said Mai with a yawn.
"YOU had it? Where? I tore up Las Noches! Ulquiorra's prisoner screamed at me! And that woman doesn't scream!" Grimmjow once again pulled Mai over. He glared down at her.
"Guess where I hid it," she said with a slight smirk. Grimmjow pulled out the red ribbon in her hair and checked to see if she hid it in the folds or tucked it into her hair somehow.
It wasn't there.
"You hid it…" Grimmjow unzipped her jacket to find that, much to Mai's relief, she wore a black tank top underneath.
"Idiot, warn me before you go and try to undress me," she said with a blush as she pulled at the jacket a bit. "Do you really think I would hide it ther-?"
"Fine, I'm warning you."
~G~
"Grimmjow," Ulquiorra stopped when he saw the Sexta's room. All he needed to do was go and tell him there was a meeting, and he finds the room a mess, and the Sextas themselves, fighting.
"That's the ONLY logical place left for you to hide it!" Grimmjow half whined half yelled as he tried to reach for Mai's top that she was struggling to keep on. There was a blush across the shorter Sexta's face as she tried twisting his arm around, not really succeeding.
"That doesn't mean that you can go and try and pull my shirt off!" Mai yelled back. She slapped his hand that was trying to sneak from behind.
Ulquiorra cleared his throat. "Sorry for interrupting, but there is a meeting."
With that, he quickly left. He didn't need to know what was going on. Hopefully, nothing was 'going on', but that was Grimmjow... Something was probably 'going on'. Ulquiorra didn't want to think about it any longer.
They had both stopped and stared at the door, a bit embarrassed. Juuuust a bit.
Using that as a distraction, Grimmjow reached into her shirt and pulled out the mini bag of cat nip. That caused a shriek from Mai, and a punch to the face, directed at him.
"GRIMMJOW!"
"MAI!" he shouted back, imitating her cracking voice. "Heh, thanks, gave me the cat nip and a little extra."
Mai blushed as she crossed her arms protectively over her chest. "Idiot…" Instead of hitting him, like she originally planned, she threw his pillow in his face.
"At least you eased your boredom for the day, kitty-san." Mai laid down with a sigh. Grimmjow scowled as he threw the pillow back and hit her.
"I hope that hurt," he said as he pulled out the couch-bed and laid on it.
"Heh, jokes on you, now I have your pillow."
"ARRRGG!"
THE END
GrassBlade's gift for being the 500th reviewer on Ichimaru Gin's Diary! Sorry that it's so, so, so, so late!
Review if you feel like it~!
~Amaterasu Ai