When Kisame fucks me I know it's just because he's horny, he doesn't get the same excitement as me to be close to each other no matter how much pain he causes me. He doesn't care about the blood stains on the pristine bed sheets (that he will leave me to clean later), as long as he is able to climax he doesn't care whether I enjoy it or not. The harsh thrusting of his masculine hips always leaves bruises, whilst I could easily remove them with the small medical jutsu I know, I don't, I keep them like souvenirs, like trophies, like a reminder someone wasn't afraid of me.

It's not a regular occurrence, only a few times a month, sometimes twice a week if I'm lucky, but sometimes he won't need me for a while as we're near a brothel, or a more seedy area. It's times like that I feel so isolated and my need for physical contact becomes strangling, it's not the sex I need, I just need to be close enough to touch him if i reach out. When I'm at my breaking point I'd try my best to seduce him, but I'm not a kunoichi, I wasn't trained in that art. I always end up making a fool of myself.

When we fuck my mind tends to wonder as I'm not bothered by the pleasure or pain and I realize the animalistic noises he makes repulses me, how could someone who doesn't even flinch when his skin is sliced from the bone become this moaning creature. I'm envious of it. I hate it. Yet I still come back for more.

He slows down after a few minutes only to order me that I ride him before removing himself and sitting up. Expectant. Waiting. I hesitate.

I don't want to disappoint him, I want him to need me. I incline my head and he rolls over to his back frowning at me, clearly pissed I didn't obey straight away. I straddle his waist and with shaking hands I guide his member into me muffling any noise I wanted to make by biting the inside of my cheeks drawing blood keeping my face emotionless. Within a few minutes he tires of my pace and grabs my hips forcing me all the way down. I gasp as I feel my rectum tear and accidentally spit blood in his face. A feral look crosses his expression as he licks the blood from the edge of his mouth before latching his teeth onto my shoulder and sucking blood from there. It never occurred to me to say no.

We'd just finished a mission early and decided to camp under the stars before we set off to base, I was tired, sore and full of broken bones but I still wanted to make Kisame happy when he dragged himself to my bed roll. The sweat on his body assaulted my nose and I wanted nothing more then to push him anyway, but I didn't. Even though he worsened the fractures I already had I would never stop him. As he finished inside me (making me regret having a shower at the inn) I allowed myself to frown slightly as I could feel his semen sliding out of me in big gloops leaving a mess underneath me as he removed himself, he just grinned and lay atop of me. This isn't love I thought as his dead weight was asleep on my small frame before I reminded myself I couldn't remember what love felt like.

Kisame has just finished inside of me, the one thing he knows I hates and as apology he stays in my bed (never his bed) his arm laying awkwardly across my stomach as he lies down looking at me. "What are you thinking?" He asks, again, it happens every time he stays with me. "I'm in love with you" is what I want to say but it never seems to happen. Maybe its just because I don't know if I do. Maybe it's just because I'm afraid.

I sigh before turning to him and run my thumb along his gills, he looks mildly surprised, I've never touched his face from choice before, I'm normally forced to when he kisses me so hard my lips split and bruise and I'm unable to breath as it never seems to occur to him to turn his head slightly so my nose isn't being almost broken from the pressure.

I hesitate.

"I think I love you Kisame" I finally respond.

He's silent.

He slowly lifts away from me and heads towards his bed.

"Kisame?" I sit up scared.

He doesn't want me anymore.