Do you dare to do this?
It was time to make a decision, to choose to continue his unrequited love for Juudaime that was slowly killing him, or to get swept away by the dark horse, by the only person to ever claim they loved him. Hayato thinks he's made his choice, but Mukuro wants to test his conviction. 6959
This follows the same theme as Reality of Dreaming. It doesn't matter if you've read that fic or not- if you have then you'll notice the similarities.
This is what happens when a song gets stuck on repeat in my head and a writing spree happens at 1am XD The lyrics to Dark Horse by Katy Perry are in here, but you'll have to look for them. Some are obvious, some are similar- for instance I've changed Baby to Puppy- and some are changed but mean the same thing- for example, 'make me your Aphrodite' has become 'Love me as fanatically as you do Tsunayoshi' because Hayato practically worships Tsunayoshi as if he were a god. You won't find a huge block of random lyrics here, I don't like that.
So, enjoy~
No.
Hayato dropped the razor blade, hearing it clatter against the floor. No more. He'd had enough of these dark days and depression. He had had enough. No more hiding the dark days, no more hiding the sleepless nights, no more hiding the cuts along his forearm.
Enough was enough, he said to himself as he stormed out of his room and down the corridor, to the door of the only person who knew. Of the only person who cared.
"I knew you were going to come and see me," Mukuro smirked, sitting in his high backed chair, looking at the puppy that had entered his room.
Or maybe that should be the wolf that had come to see him. That look in Hayato's eye was dark and dangerous. The look of a mafioso who knew what he wanted and would do anything to get it.
"And here you are. It looks like you've made your choice. But are you sure it's the right one? It's best to choose carefully after all. You wouldn't stand it if you picked wrong once again."
Hayato snarled, his lip rising slightly to show a sharp canine, offended and warning Mukuro away from that line of thought. He didn't like to talk of his weaknesses, as many as they were.
Mukuro smirked and chose to admire his trident instead, watching the tips glint in the light. "Because I'm capable of anything. Anything and Everything. All of your desires can be fulfilled by me." He turned his gaze back to Hayato, strong and steady, looking deep capturing the boy's attention fully.
"Love me as fanatically as you are loyal to Tsunayoshi. Make me your one and only." Mukuro stood, now looking down at Hayato from across the room. "I won't stand you flitting between us. You must decide. It's me or him. Can you really squash your love of him? Can you keep it as devotion and loyalty, rather than lust and love?"
Hayato only briefly looked away from Mukuro's direct gaze. It was true, the decision had been hard to make. It had lead him to many sleepless nights tossing and turning. He had loved Juudaime for so long now it was almost embedded in his DNA.
But Juudaime didn't love him.
He thought he could cope, to look on from afar, satisfy himself with Juudaime's smiles and compliments, his shivers every time Juudaime gave him an order, the impossible way the world froze when Juudaime turned that beautiful beautiful smile and eyes on him and only him, the way his name sounded on Juudaime's perfect lips. But he couldn't, not for much longer.
He needed more. He could care less about the physical side of the relationship, that didn't bother him. But he desperately needed someone by his side, someone to tell him that tomorrow was going to be better than today. Someone to hold him back before he killed all those mafioso who looked down at him and spilt his dark past to Juudaime's hearing. Someone to hold him close on those dark days that just didn't stop and tell him that he was worth keeping, worth loving, worth living next to. He needed someone to help control his anger, his depression, his mood swings. He needed someone to anchor him down, set him straight, push him towards the light, towards tomorrow.
Juudaime could do that. Juudaime already was doing so, every time he turned his attention towards Hayato for even a second. But the doses were too short, too infrequent, never there when Hayato was truly drowning in his dark days. He didn't want to bother Juudaime, he didn't want Juudaime to worry about him. He wanted Juudaime to be happy, and it seemed that Juudaime thought he could be happy with someone else. With a girl. Hayato wouldn't change that, he would not force himself and his problems on Juudaime.
No matter how much he wanted to push Juudaime down and kiss him senseless.
No matter how much he wanted Juudaime to possess him, horde him, have their attention constantly on him.
No. No no no!
So he had turned to Mukuro. Somehow, despite his best acting, Mukuro had known. He had known and quite calmly offered a solution. Hayato had thought it was a joke at first, a scheme to get close to him and then possess Juudaime at a later point in time. But it hadn't turned out that way, Mukuro had made no suspicious moves, hadn't pressured Hayato in any way.
He was desperate.
He wanted love.
He needed to be loved.
"Don't make me your enemy Hayato." Mukuro stated, starting to walk towards Hayato. There was still indecision right in the back of Hayato's eyes. He would not tolerate that. "You do not want to find out what I'll do to you if you cheat on me. If you slip and fall back in love with him there will be consequences."
Hayato knew that. Mukuro was more vulnerable than he let on. He expected the other was just as versed in love as he was. Maybe even less. Mukuro didn't have room for love between his plans for a new world. But he was going to make room anyway. If Mukuro truly did love him like he said he did, then Mukuro was allowing a weakness to create itself. Mukuro did not allow weaknesses. He would not allow heartbreak. He would not allow Hayato to veer. Mukuro had been let down too many times in his life to willingly add Hayato to that list. Hayato knew how painful that was.
But could he do it? Could he promise to not fall in love with Juudaime again?
Even now, just thinking about all the small things he would have to forego made his heart ache. He didn't want to be in pain any more. He wanted his heart to stop hurting and finally be healed and soothed.
Mukuro could do that.
For his health and sanity he would throw away his unrequited love for Juudaime and instead turn to Mukuro, the only one who had ever offered him love in return.
Mukuro smirked as he saw the change in Hayato's eyes. The indecisive puppy had chosen. He would be a wolf.
Hayato's eyes flicked over to Mukuro's trident. Mukuro had said he'd make all of Hayato's problems go away. Was he going to use his trident? Would he illusion it all away? That didn't sound too bad to be honest, even a fake reality was better than the pain filled abyss he currently lived in.
Mukuro noticed, his smirk turning mischievous and knowing. "Oya, so you want to play with magic?" He laughed. "You're curious, aren't you? You want to know what it's like, to understand how it works. That's just like you, my cute little scientist." Hayato didn't even have a Mist wavelength, despite his body containing most of the others. Hayato would be a devastating opponent if he had control over even a tiny Mist Flame in addition to his Sistema CAI.
But Mukuro was glad Hayato didn't have any affinity for the Mist. The golden rule of illusionists was to never use your powers on yourself or else fear going insane. With how Hayato was now, it would have been all too possible for Hayato to have crossed the line.
Plus Mukuro had added benefits, especially since he would be the one leading this relationship. He would be able to read Hayato's thoughts and desires, to help the poor puppy out of his slumps. With his possession ability, he would be able to keep an eye on Hayato no matter how far apart they were, he had already marked Hayato years ago, when they were nameless enemies and Tsunayoshi only just realising the full extent of his Flame.
Mukuro didn't think Hayato realised just how much of an advantage Mukuro had on him.
"Kufufufu~ Boy. Think about this properly. You should know what you're falling for." And to prove his point, Mukuro disappeared from sight. Hayato looked around himself suspiciously, but Mukuro was nowhere to be seen.
Hayato should know exactly what he was falling for, the boy was not blind after all. Mukuro was possessive, twisted, cruel and manipulative. He was power-hungry and malicious, willing to step on anyone who got in his way. He was fuelled by his cold need for revenge, anger and hatred ran in his veins. He wanted to watch the world burn and crumble.
"Puppy, do you dare to do this?"
He was an illusionist, he could twist reality and perceptions to his liking. So how would Hayato know that anything Mukuro did or said, that the world around him, was real? How would Hayato know what Mukuro was telling the truth and not manipulating the boy into a trap? Did he consider Mukuro trustworthy?
The voice came from nowhere and everywhere, Mukuro still unseen.
"Because I'm coming at you like a dark horse." This time the voice was close, directly whispered in his ear. Hayato could feel Mukuro's breath, feel the phantom heat of Mukuro's body against his for a moment before it was gone.
A dark horse. That was true, Hayato supposed. Mukuro had come from nowhere before declaring his love. Hayato had had no inkling, no indication or suspicion of Mukuro's feelings towards him. And now suddenly here it was, all in a rush, overtaking his thoughts and feelings, happening faster than he could process.
Hayato's heart was stolen in an instant, captured and caught, ripped away from it's place in Juudaime's shadow. He was being paid attention, someone would be by his side. Someone was going to drag him kicking and screaming back into the light whether he wanted to or not. Mukuro understood him the best out of anyone here, knew the darkness of the mafia past he hid and didn't care about it. Mukuro didn't care that Hayato's hands might very well be dyed redder than his own in the blood of those he's harmed or killed.
"Are you ready for the perfect storm?" The voice in his other ear. "Because once you're mine, there's no going back." Now Mukuro was there, perfectly visible, Hayato's chin captured in his grasp.
From here on out it would be a storm, a storm of emotion and action. Hayato was going to be turned in every direction until he didn't know where he was any more. He'd be pulled and pushed, dragged and tripped in whatever direction Mukuro desired, just like the winds of a hurricane.
Until finally Hayato stumbled his way into the centre, the calm of the storm, a brand new man. With love and care and attention he'd change, the dark days would disappear and he'd live again. Mukuro would do what Juudaime's partial attention couldn't do.
Out would step a perfect Storm.
He'd be on point, well rested, mind working to quick precise perfection. He'd growl and roar, defend Vongola with everything he had. He'd be the relentless, never ending centre of attack that he used to be. He'd be feared once more, the mafia careful where they stepped around him, scared of being sucked up and spat out.
Hurricane Hayato would arrive.
Mukuro couldn't wait to see his puppy turn back into the wolf he once was. He'd finally see the Hurricane Hayato, the Smokin' Bomb in action. He'd get to see why the boy had earned such a nickname at such a young age.
"Kufufufu, mark my words little puppy, this love will make you levitate. It's exactly what you need and you know it. I'll remove your shackles and weights until you feel like a bird without a cage. You have a habit of placing yourself in cages, and it's not very good for you." Mukuro purred, pretending to look concerned, although all Hayato could see was the smirk.
Mukuro would remove the shackle of his painful, obsessive, unrequited love with Juudaime. Mukuro would remove the shackle of his depression and dark days. Mukuro believed he would destroy the mafia and remove the shackle of Hayato's exposed past from him too. Mukuro would remove the weight of every name he held. He would not be the fearsome Smokin' Bomb, he would not be the Gokudera's bastard child, he would not be Juudaime's Storm and Right hand.
He would just be... Hayato.
He would be free to be himself because Mukuro could see past all his acting and masks. And still said he loved Hayato anyway.
Yet he couldn't forget that Mukuro's own shackle would still be attached. It would be loose yet constricting. Mukuro would let Hayato live his own life and only interfere when he felt like it or when he felt his possession was being threatened. Mukuro would be like a cat, pampering him when he felt like it and ignoring him when it suited him. But Hayato knew that Mukuro was loyal to those he deemed important- he had looked after his gang for all this time after all. Mukuro would be there when it counted.
But Hayato wouldn't be passive, oh no. He would track down Mukuro and demand attention when he wanted it. He would not be ignored. He was a Storm after all, and as stubborn as hell.
Mukuro wanted to be his one and only, and Hayato knew that if he strayed then Mukuro would drag him back down to earth and through the mud. Hayato would not be able to just simply walk away.
However if Mukuro strayed, then Hayato would do the exact same thing. He had been lied to and had his trust betrayed too many times to let it happen again. He'd retaliate right back if Mukuro's attention wandered from him.
This relationship would be a two-way street. A harnessed storm and wolf puppy in exchange for an anchor, an equal, a partner. They had similar pasts, an understanding of one another, fighting prowess, intelligence, they interested and entertained the other, compensated and filled in the gaps. They were suited for each other.
The allure of capturing the other: having tamed the untameable Storm, caught the uncatchable Mist.
It wouldn't be beautiful, there would be no sparkly flowers in the background. But that was just fine with Hayato, his life had never been sugar and rainbows anyway, so why would it be now?
"Are you sure you wouldn't place me in a cage?" Hayato scoffed, a hand absently waving at Mukuro's trident.
Mukuro chuckled. "Of course not. I am not here to rule your life. Although naughty puppies may get a time out in a cage~"
"Che, why do I imagine you do that to your pet mutt?"
"Who says I don't?" Mukuro mused, a sly smile on his lips as he turned and walked a few steps away. Hayato could see it, Ken trapped in a cage for being annoying, whining about the unfairness of it all.
Mukuro's expression didn't change, as if they were still on the lightest of subjects. Hayato thought Mukuro was still joking when a blood red marble suddenly dropped into Hayato's hand.
"It's in the palm of your hand now, puppy." Mukuro said. Hayato thought that rather obvious, where else was the marble supposed to be?
"Gokudera-kun!"
But before he could ask Mukuro whether he had lost it, there was a shout from behind him. Hayato didn't even need to turn around to know who it was. He'd know that voice anywhere: reality, dreams, fantasies, the battlefield.
Fucking bastard.
"Gokudera-kun!"
How many times was Mukuro going to test his conviction until the illusionist was happy? How many times, how many ways, how many different wordings and actions would it take?
"Please! Gokudera-kun!"
He would not falter. He had made up his mind!
"Look at me! Gokudera-kun!"
Juudaime would always have his eternal devotion and loyalty.
"Gokudera-kun, I demand that you look at me!"
He would not shiver. Not for the same reasons as before. He would still enjoy receiving orders from Juudaime, that would not change, but it would be due to pride that his boss had called on him, not lust.
Hayato took a step forwards, a step towards where Mukuro was standing.
"It's a yes or a no, puppy. There's no maybe." Mukuro insisted, watching every single move Hayato made, every expression that crossed the man's face.
"Gokudera-kun!"
Hayato kept on walking. He didn't look back, not even once. His eyes stayed fixated on Mukuro.
Slowly he lifted his hand, his closed fist in the air in front of Mukuro, waiting.
"Be sure before you give it all to me." Mukuro reminded. One last time. One last time for the puppy to back out. Now was the last chance Hayato would get.
"Gokudera-kun!"
Mukuro held out his hand, open and palm up.
"Gokudera-kun!"
Hayato dropped his fist, harshly pushing the crimson marble into Mukuro's hand, using that as leverage to surge forwards and up...
... and fiercely kiss Mukuro.
This was his answer. THIS was his fucking answer, so Mukuro had better be satisfied.
The illusion of Juudaime fell silent, gone and dissipated now that it's conjurer's attention was elsewhere.
Hayato would bet on the dark horse. And there was no going back.
If you liked this then make sure to check out Reality of Dreaming.
Phantom Hitman 1412
05 April 2014