Disclaimer : Hajime Isayama
Warning : AU, OOC, and Typo(s)
Pair : Jean Kirschtein and Sasha Braus
Genre : Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Rate : T
«««あ»»»
English isn't my first languange. So, please be aware. :)
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Celandine
~When the happiness comes.
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Jean ever fell in love before.
Heck, who didn't even know that he had obviously fell in love with the most infamous girl at the first sight, when he was still be a freshman in first day of school. Three years ago.
If you ask who was the girl that could made Jean _an undeniably stubborn boy_ fell in love. The answer is simple.
Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman.
That brownish-blonde haired boy was just sitting in the corner of the canteen while taking a break after an exhausting day of being freshman with his eternity bestfriend _Marco, when his glance dropped directly at her. That beautiful black haired girl exactly in the right side of his table, sitting neatly with two slices of bread she bought in the canteen just a while ago.
And at that time, Jean swore that his heart's beating had just stopped for a second.
««»»
Jean think about himself as a gentleman.
And as gentleman as he was, he'll fight for the thing he wants.
And he wanted Mikasa.
.
With a slight blush which painted in both of his cheeks, he moved slowly and now he's directly facing that Ackerman girl who still listening to a brown haired boy's twaddles.
"A-" his mouth opened slightly, mumbled a word he cannot say, "A-ano ー"
Mikasa turned her head at him, just to looked at his blushing face and a sweat which flowed through his temples.
"I- I-" he cursed himself of being stammer, "I think... "
"Yeah?" Mikasa asked boredly. Now Jean can see the brown haired boy who sit right in front of Mikasa, also looking at him with cofused eyes.
"I think, y-you have a different face." He said stupidly.
"Exactly?" Mikasa raised her eyebrow, looking at him doubtfully.
" I-I mean... You have a- a- a beautiful hair... " He whispered the words slowly. Scared that it might startling her.
"Oh. " That girl said. "Thankyou." And with that word, she returned to her previous activity. Listening to her boy friend.
Jean's jaw dropped. But he couldn't deny that a deep blush had perfectly covered his cheeks with only those simple words Mikasa has just said.
"Speaking about your hairー" Jean now heard that Mikasa's boy friend spoke. "I think it's getting longer. Why don't you just cut it a little bit? It'll look better." That boy touched Mikasa's hair and patted it softly.
"Is that so, Eren?" Mikasa responded.
"Yeahー" Eren _that brown haired boy_ answered back. "It'll bothering you."
Jean deliberately looked at Mikasa from the corner of his eyes, and now he could see a tint of slight blush decorated on her porcelain cheeks.
"U-uh... Okay then." Mikasa said softly, touching her hair lightly while Eren took a glup on his orange juice.
Jean cursed inwardly.
How could that boy made 'his' Mikasa being so shy with only that damned order which asked her to cut her beautiful hair!?
"That silly." Jean mumbled dejectly. Made his friend Marco looked at him questioningly.
"Huh? You say something, Jean?" Marco asked
"No.. I'm not."
And Jean swore at that time, he is definitely marked Eren as his rival.
To get Mikasa.
«««あ»»»
But competition was just a competition.
It'll end up soon after the winner is showing up.
And when there's a winner, there will be also a loser.
The fact that Jean is a loser was just undenieably annoying. The fact that he couldn't make Mikasa as hims just too unbelieveable.
Well, he can't deny the fact that both of them _Mikasa and Eren_ have been close even since he didn't know her. And the fact that they are now together as people expected was just true. And that's really bothering him.
Jean sighs peevishly.
That kind of 'facts' were drove him crazy.
He then lets his head falls up to the table where he had remained for take a break.
"You look like in the big problem, Jean." A girlish voice heard from the side of his seat. "What happen?"
"That's not your bussiness, Sasha." He answer roughly. Lifts up his head just to see a girl who is busy eating her lunch while looking at him curiously.
"Really?"
"Dammit. Just don't bother it." He said again.
"Well," The brunette said. Shrugging while she takes a gulp of his strawberry juice."If you say so."
"Hey- that's mine!" Jean forcefully takes his starwberry juice away from Sasha."How dare you. Can you just stop eating like there's no tomorrow?" A frown showed on his eyebrow. "Be a little elegant, can't you?"
"Shut up, Jean." Sasha pouted,"I'm hungry, can you stop being mean to me and just give your food to this little friend of yours?"
"You feel hungry everytime!"
"Well, it's not my mistake after all!"
They both keep shouting. Taking almost all student's attention whose fullfill this crowded canteen during the lunch break.
"Can both of you just shut the fuck up?" Ymir, a brown skinned girl commanded them. Giving both of them a scary gaze which makes Jean and Sasha stop their _unimportant_ argumentation soon on.
"Sasha-" A soft beautiful voice heard. "The lunch break almost end soon. You better finish your food before the time." That angel voice girl said.
"Yeah, Krista." Sahsa responded."Take this." Now she gazes up at Jean who gives her a questioning look.
"What?"
"Take this, Jean silly. It's a bread." She said once again. Offering a slice of bread in front of Jean.
"I know it's a bread." Jean answer annoyedly."But, what for?"
"To lift up you mood!" Sasha smile widely."Believe me! Foods always give you a better feeling whenever you feel down."
"But, I don't feel down ー "
"Oh, please." Sasha rolled her eyes."It's obvious that you are bothered because of something we don't know. C'mon, just take it!"
"You... Sure?" Jean said doubtly. Taking a slice of bread Sasha gave to him."Don't you feel hungry?"
"Don't worry, my beloved friend, Jean." Sasha smile again."I've enough of taking your delicious chicken roast for this lunch."
"And my juice also-"
"Yeah-yeah whatever!" Sasha laughed. "Just take it already and let's go to the class." She stands up from her seat. Following Ymir and Krista whose had left already. Leaving the place where all of them usually take a break. Leaving only Jean who looks at the bread Sasha gave to him a moment ago.
And a little smile carved on his lips.
«««あ»»»
"I know you like Mikasa."
Sasha said suddenly. Made Jean coughing with the pronouncement she just declared.
"Shit." He cursed while wiping the water which turned out from his mouth. "What?"
"You like Mikasa." She said once again.
"Wh- no!" Protests Jean. "I am-"
"Don't oppose it. I know it already, Jean." Sasha continued without showing any emotion on her face."Don't be such an asshole and denying things which obviously showed on your stupid face." She said while taking some chips and put it on her mouth.
Jean taken aback, speechless. There's no way he can deny what's Sasha said since she has a very stong intuition. And according to their friendship which has been build up since three years ago, she can easily read him.
"I am right. Aren't I?" Sasha spoke again.
"Yeah-" He gives up then.
"But now Mikasa is Eren's girl-"
"I know it." Jean cut her."I know."
Sasha looks at him with those 'care-full' pair of eyes.
"How do you feel, Jean?" Sasha asked suddenly. She looks straightly on his eyes while both of them staying in the sofa which placed in the middle of Jean apartement's living room.
"How do I feel?" Jean frowned.
"Yeah-" Sasha mumbled slightly. Looking back at the movie they have been watch since one hour ago."I mean- you like her, right? How do you feel when you saw the one you love, ended up with other guy. Is it hurt?" She continued nonchalantly.
Jean remains quiet. Looking at Sasha who sits beside of him.
"I think... " He broke the silent after minutes passed. "I think it's not that... Hurt." He whispered the last word. "Aside of the fact that Mikasa doesn't belong to me..." Sasha quietly looks at him. "I'm fine by myself."
"Good then." Sasha said slowly. It almost sounds like a whisper if he didn't sit that close to her. "Glad to know that you're fine."
"Yeah-" Jean scratchs his arms nerveously."But.."
"What?" Sasha asked, taking a gulp of her cola.
"Why suddenly you asked me that question?"
"Don't know." Sasha shrugged. "Just want to know how you feel though."
"Liar." Jean's hand moves fast and pinchs both of Sasha's cheeks.
"Hey- that's hurt, you stupid Jean! Let go!" She begged
"Tell me first." He smirked.
"Tell what?" Sasha keeps struggling while holding Jean's wrist. Pouting.
Somehow, Jean finds it pretty cu- Nono! He meant pretty annoying.
"Tell the reason behind your question." He demands.
"There's no reason behind my question, Jean kirschtein!"
"I believe there is!"
"You silly, let go of my cheeks!" She shouted.
"Nope until you tell me!"
"No!"
"Oh! C'mon!"
"Believe me! I have no reason."
"You stubborn girl just tell me the truth-"
"You are the stubborn one!"
"Just tell me, Sasha Brausー"
"Okay! It's because I like you. Now what!?" Sasha shouted without thinking.
What.
What?
"What?!" Jean shouted back. Let go of her cheeks and now he looks at her shockly. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Sasha keeps quiet. Hiding her face behind her red hair.
"Hey-" Jean touched her shoulder after seconds passed by silent."Sasha- are you joking?" But she just keeps quiet.
"Okay- if that was joked-" Jean laughed nerveously."I think-"
"I'm going." Sasha said suddenly. Get up from her seat and took her bag which located in the table.
"What-" Jean losts his words. And now looking quietly at Sasha who has approach his main door. "Hey, Sasha-" He stand up quickly. "Where you gonna go?" He asked.
"I'm going home, Jean. It's late already." She said without looking at him.
"But- it's still evening." He pointed out. " Even the movie hasn't end up yet." He approachs her. Grabbed her wrist which is holding the door's handle.
"I have something to do."
"And what is it?" Jean folded his arms. Looking at her questioningly.
"Forget it. Just let me go." Sasha turns the handle, opening the door.
"But ー "
"See you tomorrow, Jean."
And with those words. Sasha left already. Leaving him bewildered.
'If only Jean understand it.'
««あ»»
Sasha ever fell in love before.
Heck- even now she's still feel these shitty things whenever the brownish-blonde haired boy clinging around her since three years ago.
If you ask who was the boy that could made Sasha _undeniably a weirdo_ falling in love until now, the answer is simple.
Jean. Jean Kirschtein.
The first time she met him was an unexpectedly strange companionship where Jean discovered her with his lovely food which had just been stolen right in front of his eyes.
"What the fuck are you doing-" Jean shouted at her."It's mine!" He stood up from his seat, looking at her who is busy chewing his crumble egg he bought on the canteen for the lunch. Without showing any guilty expression, Sasha took a glance at his face.
"You ignored it. I thought you wouldn't eat it anymore." She said simply.
"What- but you have no right to take it without my permission!" Jean hissed loudly. Annoyed."Even I don't know who you are!"
"Uh-" Sasha swallowed up the egg slowly. Taking a glup of her juice."Sorry, but I felt so hungry and you didn't even bother to touch it. I- I think..." She bowed, hung up the last word.
"Argh-" Jean groaned. Looking at the girl he just knew minutes ago and now, she has successfully taken away his lunch.
"But-" Sasha opened her mouth again. "There are still some pieces of chicken roast here. it's okay if you want it." She said happily.
"What the fuck!" Jean shouted once again.
"What-"
"Jean," Marco's voice suddenly heard. "It's okay though, if you really want your crumble egg back, we can buy again. It seems rough to keep shouting on her." Marco smile slightly."Beside the fact that you were ignoring this food was true."
"It's not like that, Marco!" Jean growled."It's about 'the stranger girl-" He pointed Sasha,"-'took away my food without permission' just offering my own food and said that she, for god's sake, didn't mind to share it with me!" He hissed.
"Oh, c'mon, Jean." Marco laughed at his bestfriend. Looking at his annoyed expression while the girl in front of them just sitting quietly."She actually had asked you if she could have it and you just nodded in agreement-"
"And I think you allowed me." Sasha said slowly. Looking at Jean with the pair of her innoncent eyes.
"What ー? I'm not!" Jean protested.
"Yes, and then you continued to observing Mikasa." She said almost loudly and Jean immediately covering her mouth.
"Shut up!" He whispered.
"Bm I wsm rm,rm" Sasha said.
"What?" Her hand found his wrist and took away his hand from her mouth, "But I was right, rite?" She said once again.
"Ck." Jean cursed. Sit back to his seat beside Marco."Whatever. Just take it away you weirdo."
"I'm not a weirdo!" She protested.
"Yeah. Definitely." He rolled his eyes. Folding his arms in front of his chest.
"Whatever." Sasha shrugged. Took the last piece of chicken roast roughly to her mouth. Jean looking at her in disbelief.
And with the last gulp of her juice, she finally finished his food.
"Whoa-" She raised up her hand. Smiling happily."It's so delicious!"
"Sure it is." Marco smile at her friendly." You do have a natural appetite on food, don't you?"
"Food is wonderful." She patted her tummy happily."It makes you happy."
"Of course." Jean mumbled."Especially when you get it freely." He rolled his eyes.
"Oh- speaking about this food," Sasha ignored his allusion, looked directly at Jean."Thank you for the food, em-"
"Jean. His name is Jean, you are Sasha right?" Marco said. "I'm Marco." He smiled warmly.
"Glad you know my name, Marco." Sasha smile widely. Stood up from her seat and ready to take her leave."Well, thank you, Jean!" Sasha uttered politely."See you later!" And with those words, she left already, approaching her friends whose sitting in the table near Jean and Marco.
"Weirdo." Jean hissed slowly."Such a weirdo."
"Hahaha... " Marco laughed,"But, she's really interesting, right?" Marco stood up from his seat making his friend rolled his eyes."Soon on we will see her again." He smiled.
"I hope we are not." Jean followed Marco."I never met such a girl like her." He sighed.
««»»
Sasha quietly sitting in the table which located at the corner of the canteen near the biggest window. Her brown eyes shows an empty gaze on the garden in front of the canteen.
She sighs slightly. Moving her arms and put it on her lap. Looking for such an object she keeps avoiding since three days ago.
Sasha groaned loudly. Thankfully there are just a few student in the canteen so she doesn't need to be worry if anyone bothers with it.
Her mind reminds on the occurrence which happened three days ago when she was just leaving him after her sudden confession without explain anything. Which she finds it odd since she couldn't mistaking Jean for her unrequited feeling.
She sighs again. Ignoring the chocolate pudding she has bought and let it sprawls on table in front of her.
If only Jean doesn't have any interest on Mikasa that day. She believes that she can easily get his attention.
If only she could be more elegant just like he asked few days ago. She believes Jean will look at her as a woman. Not as his weirdo girl-friend.
If only she has black hair just like Mikasa not the one with red-bwonised hair.
If only...
She groaned loudly this time. Dropped her head hardly on the table without realizing a boy who approachs her and now he already stands on the backside of her.
"That stupid." She mumbles gloomyly. Looking at the window with the peevish look in her eyes. "Stupid Jean."
"Whatー " Jean _the boy who approached her_ protested. Settle himself in front of Sasha and successfully making her startled.
"Jean!" She shouted harshly."Don't just showed up in front of me and shocking me, you silly!" She puts her hand on her chest to calm herself down.
"What you meant by 'Stupid Jean'?" He ignored her. Looking at her intensely.
"Wh-" She stammers and doesn't even has a courage to look back at him.
"Are you trying to insult me, Sasha braus?" He keeps forward, making Sasha shivering with the closeness he created. "Huh?"
"Get away!" She pushed him. Avoiding his gaze. "Don't get close to me!"
"Why?" Jean frowned. Confused with the sudden outburst she made."You keep acting weird and avoiding me."
"I'm not." She lied.
"Really?"
"Yeah-"
"Then why you didn't eat your pudding just like you have done for thousand times. It's obvious that you've been bothered because of the thing which happened few days ago. Right?" Jean looks at her questioningly. Asking for the clarification.
"No." She said without looking at him. Took her fork and starts eating her pudding. "I just going to eat this now."
"Don't lying to me." He frowned. But that girl remains silent."Agh-" He groaned."Okay what you want now?"
"I don't want anything except just to finish this one." She pointed at her pudding.
"Not that one!" He growled."Youー" He stopped. Doubting himself if he really wanted to say it.
"What?"
"You..." He took a deep breath."You like me, right Sasha?" He said slowly. Unsure how to say.
She suddenly stop eating her food and looked at it shockly.
She really didn't expect him to said such a thing like that directly in front of her.
"Sasha, I'm sorry-"
"It's okay, Jean." She cut him. Put her fork on the table and looks straightly on his eyes."I don't expect you to have the same feeling as mine." She sighed heavily. Feeling the sudden poignant feeling in her chest."I meant- well, I did but it's not like I can require you for such a thing... I- I know I'm nothing but a friend for you." She smiles sourly. Moving her gaze from his eyes. Those beautiful pair of golden eyes he has.
"Sashaー"
"You like Mikasa, and I'm not going to complain about it. After all, she's the most perfect girl I've ever seen and no wonder you if fall in love with her."
"Heyー"
"I can accept it." She sighed. Feeling her tears come out from the corner of her eyes. Flows slowly through her cheek."I-I can..." She trembled
She cursed inwardly.
She shouldn't have to act like this in front of Jean.
She shouldn't have to cry like this in front of him.
Because it would probably tear them apart, the last thing she wished for.
But all she can feel is only these salty liquid which came out from her eyes.
All she can do is only sobbing and let the painful feelings she has been hiding since three years ago flows, together with the tears she sheds from the corner of her eyes.
Until she feels a pair of strong arms embrace her gently. And pushed her forward.
"It's okay, Sasha. It's okay." Jean said softly. Patting her head tenderly while she keeps crying and leaning her head on his shoulder. "It's okay if you can't"
"I-I'm sorry, Jean." She sobbed."I'm too naïve."
"No, you are not." He uttered gently.
"It's okay if you won't to know me anymore." She sobbing painfully and somehow, it hurts him to know that the one he cares was feeling so complicated because of him.
"There's no way I would do such a thing like that, Sasha." He hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry I have been insensitive." She nodded slightly."Butー"
"..."
"I think.." Jean takes a deep breath."I think I'm no longer have feelings for Mikasa." He continued.
"Huh?" Sasha turned around to stare at him with the redden eyes and tears which still flows from her eyes."What?" She asked.
"Well-" He said hesitantly."She's now with Eren. And- and I think it's better for me to move on and..." He hung the last words.
"And?" Sasha asked in a low voice.
"And looking for the one who willingly take care of me more than I can."
Sasha keeps quiet. Didn't really understand with the statement Jean has just said to her.
"Sorry?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Ugh-" Jean groaned. He has no clue how to explain it to his slow-minded friend called Sasha."I meant I like you ー "
"What?"
"Even though it's not as deep as the one you have for me, but I do." He admitted.
A deep blush suddenly covering her soft cheeks while Jean looks at her shyly.
"I-I..." She bowed. Covering her face with her red hair. Feeling a thousand butterflies which suddenly tickling her tummy.
Until the realization hits her.
"Are... Are you sure?" She asked slowly. Staring at Jean which has a tint of slight blush on his face. "Do you pity me, Jean?"
"What?" He said in disbelief."Of course I'm not!"
"How could I know that you wasn't lying?" She argued. Holding the collar of his shirt tightly.
"But I really do-"
"But you never said it!" She shouted at him lightly.
"Because I just knew it now!" He explained shortly."I just find out that I do really care for you! I felt worried when you just leaved me and kept ignoring my calls!" He pulled her closer to him."I worried if something bad might happen to you, Sasha." He continued tenderly.
"I'm okay." She whispered nonchalantly. "Show me.." She said a moment later.
"What?"
"Show me if you really have those feelings so I can believe in you." She asked with worry.
"I can show you." Jean takes a breath. Looking straightly at Sasha."I can guarantee you." He begged.
And without hesitation, Jean moves forward, removing the distance between him and Sasha until both of their lips binded in a sweet kiss. Tighten his embrace around her shoulder and ignoring multiple pair of eyes whose looking at them in disbelief.
His right hand move slowly on the back of her neck and pushed it gently so he could deepening their kisses while the other one moved in to her waist.
For the sake of god.
They're now in the crowded canteen which full of humans whose looking at them shockly.
And after seconds passed, finally they broke apart.
Sasha breaths heavily, looking for oxygen she had losted while Jean was kissing her.
"You believe now?" Jean asked. Leaning his forehead on hers.
"I-I..." She finds no word come out from her mouth. Melted on his embrace.
"I'm not lying when I said I like you, Sasha." He wishpered. "Maybe you don't make my heart beating fast when I'm with you. Maybe you don't make me blushing whenever you smile at me. Maybe you don't make me lost my words everytime you give me a compliment." He uttering."Butー I do feel comfortable whenever you are around me. I do have a smile on my lips whenever you told me a joke. And I do think of you whenever I didn't meet you even just for a day."
"Maybe I didn't fall in love with you at the first sight like Mikasa had done to me. But still, I do falling in love with you with those precious moment we've been shared together until now." He smiles lightly. "And I'm so grateful for the things you've gave to me, Sasha."
And at that time, Sasha almost lost her breath when she looks straightly on Jean's brown eyes.
She gripped his shirt tightly and let her head falls on his chest and crying one more time on his embrace.
"Thank you, Jean. Thank you."
She doesn't even care with noisy sounds their friend give to them anymore. And just let the tears of happiness flowing smoothly through her cheek.
"Yeah," He smiled."Now stop crying." He wipes the tears from her cheek."People keep staring on us and shouting." He laughed sweetly.
"Yeah." She followed him, smile widely."Now after crying hardly.."
"Huh?" Jean asked softly, still giving his embrace on her shoulder.
"Can you buy me a plate of french fries? I feel so hungry now."
Jean groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Okay," he smirked."But you have to do a favor for me after that."
"And what is it?" She raises an eyebrow. And now she can she Jean leaning towards her and going to whisper something in her ear.
"I'm going to kiss you all night long."
"Jean!" She hits his arm slightly. A deep blush painted on her face.
"Hey! It's not my mistake that kissing you is undeniably addicting!" He uttered loudly.
"Stop it, you silly head-horse!"
And with that words, both of them laugh delightfully.
.
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OWARI
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Celandine; 'the happiness which comes'
I can't believe I have just finish it T^T
Omg. I wonder if this story was failed because of my bad english authority T-T
But I'm satisfied that I could finish it, it much better than left it hanging.
And I'm also new on this fandom yeiy! /slap/
Nice to meet you! :3
I really falling in love with Jesha on the first time I get interest on Snk x3
Nah, for your kindness, Mind to leave me a review so I can improve my writing
ありがとう！