Chapter 1: A Flight
Santana sat on her couch, laptop balanced upon her knees trying desperately to swallow her heart. The pictures seemed endless. Brittany crossing a bridge with Sam's arms wrapped around her, Brittany standing at the peak of a cliff looking out into green, snow topped mountains, her hair wild in the wind and her eyes lit up in the dazzling sun like a firefly mid summer. The last picture was by far the worst. Santana closed her eyes and gulped in a breath as warm prickly heat, the uncomfortable kind, ran up her neck and made her dizzy and nauseated. Squinting reluctantly back at the photo as if she could limit the amount of painful perfection she let in, Brittany's smile lights up the screen, her pretty pink lips parted wide, laughing in mirth, cheeks rosy from the sun and skin glistening, every bit as stunning as the scenery.
"You've got to put that away Santana. You're just torturing yourself."
Santana jumped and whipped her head around.
"Quinn just…" Santana sighed deeply and looked down and her boots "It's better than deluding myself, okay? The last thing I need is to get to Lima and have a breakdown."
Quinn shook her head like she couldn't argue to the contrary but still found Santana's logic suspect.
"Right, well I hope your strategy has worked because we've got to leave. I promised Kurt we'd meet him at check in by 5."
/
"Is she going to be okay?"
"I don't know. She's going to have to try, at least until after the wedding."
"I can fucking hear you guys. I'm standing right here."
The line up to the check in counter was long. Every few steps they advanced along the velvet ropes, Kurt and Quinn glanced worriedly over their shoulders and muttered to each other urgently.
"San, I don't understand why you're getting so worked up…" Kurt trailed and restarted at the look on Santana's face. "I mean I do, because it's Brittany but if anything, you should be proud coming back to Lima, I mean, we're the ones that made it, right? We're the conquering heroes!" Kurt exclaimed hopefully, his eyes darting to Quinn for reinforcement. She nodded encouragingly.
"Please don't call me that right now. Don't call me San." Santana breathed deeply before continuing. The knot in her stomach did nothing to loosen. "It's not that I'm not proud. It's just that I can't impress Britt with a fancy job. She's not like that and you know it. I have no girlfriend, no love life to speak of and the minute she sees me, she's going to know she's the reason why."
There's a long pause. Kurt's delicate eyebrows knit in concentration and Quinn rubbed Santana's shoulder, trying to communicate her sympathy.
Kurt glanced between the two and suddenly, his features cleared. Quinn seemed to recognize something that Santana in her anxious state was too preoccupied to see because her eyes went wide and her head started shaking violently from left to right.
"No no no, you are not thinking what I think you're thinking."
"What?" Kurt said, turning to Quinn with an evil grin. "It's perfect! You can save face in front of Mr and Mrs. Berry-Hudson and Santana can look like less of a loveless loser!"
"Gee, thanks lady Hummel but can someone fill me in as to what you two are blathering on about?"
"You and Quinn!" Kurt motioned towards you and pointed at Quinn, back and forth expectantly.
"What about us?"
Quinn sighed heavily and ignored Santana, turning instead to Kurt again. "Kurt, that's not going to work. Brittany would see straight through it. Besides, what could that possibly help?"
Registering the implications of the conversation finally, Santana blanched. "Whoa hold up-"
"Hear me out!" Kurt hastened to explain. "Brittany has never seen Santana be anything but hopelessly devoted to her or bitterly solitary for not having her. She needs to get a taste of what it's like to be in second place. We all know there's something there still, don't we? I mean…" he turned to Santana with a small, sad smile, "you're Santana and Brittany."
The three of them stood looking back and forth between one another. At last, Santana's eyes settled on Quinn's. She was biting her bottom lip.
"What do you think Q? Could we pull this off? I know it's mental but I just don't know if I can face Britt like this. She can't see what an empty shell I am without her. Nobody wants the oyster without the pearl."
Santana's rare expression of honest vulnerability quieted Quinn. She looked at her friend and sighed.
"Santana Lopez, you're lucky I'd do practically anything for you. It's not going to be easy. Brittany has always been able to see straight through you," She chuckled at that but her smile dimmed quickly. "But that just means, we've got to be convincing."
On the plane, Kurt sat between a nervous Santana and a scheming Quinn.
"S, are you even paying attention? If you want this thing to work, you've got to focus. Otherwise, we can all forget it and you can play sad sappy spinster next to Sam and Britt all weekend." Quinn chided with a frown.
Santana swallowed the bile rising in her throat and nodded. This plan gave her cold sweats as her conscience flared in her chest, but she couldn't imagine a single thing worse than the alternative.
Kurt took that as the green light to begin planning. He was now determined to orchestrate this ruse as smoothly as one of his weddings. Planning was sort of his thing.
"First things first: the essentials. You both have got to look convincing as more than friends. That means some kisses that go beyond sisterly. And remember, this is Brittany, so you've got to look like you like it."
Without saying a word, Quinn and Kurt rose from their seats and maneuvered out into the aisle, only to slip back in having switched places. Now in the middle of the three-seat row, Quinn turns to Santana.
"Ready for this Lopez?"
"I might throw up in your mouth but go for it."
"You heard Kurt. Either suck it up or forget the whole thing. I don't want to be caught participating in this desperate charade, especially at Finn's wedding."
"Oh and you think I do?" Santana bristled. "I must be fucking insane."
With that, Santana leaned in abruptly, determined not to give herself any time to back out. She collided with Quinn mouth first, slightly harder than was ideal and drew away instantly, but all in all, it wasn't as horrific as she had anticipated.
A slow clap sounded from the other side of Quinn. "There you go ladies, easy. I never thought I'd be coaching girl on girl action but my range of skills surprises me on occasion."
Quinn rolled her eyes and shrugged with indifference. "Come on then Lespez, practice makes perfect."
The trio landed at Allen County Airport and went directly to their hotel, forgoing any reunions until all three were more prepared.
Santana dropped her bags by the queen size bed and looked across the room at Quinn.
"I still think this whole room thing is unnecessary."
"Santana, we don't need anymore reasons for anyone to see through this set up, okay? It's not a big deal."
Santana looked down at her hands, they hadn't fully stopped shaking since she closed her laptop back on her couch in San Francisco.
"Can I ask you a question?" It came out as a pained whisper and Quinn gentled, nodding once. "Why are you agreeing to this? We have no guarantee that it'll make any sort of impression on Brittany and it certainly doesn't promise a particularly relaxing weekend back home."
Quinn sat down heavily on the bed and got that scared sparrow look that always came when she was about to be too honest for her own comfort. Santana knew the face, because she had one of her own.
"It's crazy really. We're successful, well off and we actually escaped this place but somehow, I still feel like a failure. When I think about watching Finn and Rachel at Grace Baptist on Sunday, all my achievements, the book deals, the best sellers, they just seem like distractions."
Santana nodded. She wished she could tell Quinn how familiar she was with that feeling but couldn't find the words and suspected anyway, that she already knew. Her eyes stung suddenly and she fought against the urge to blink while struggling to change the subject.
"I still can't believe they're getting married in a church. Don't they recognize the medieval implications of a religiously sanctioned wedding? The misogynistic history of gendered oppression, the ongoing infiltration of dogmatic inequalities into government policy by right wing religious nuts?"
"Probably not San. Not everyone can be a UN human rights lawyer." Quinn smiled fondly at her friend. "We may be failures at love but we have changed a whole lot since high school. Do you remember when you were so scared to come out that you had sex with Finn?! Things could be worse." Santana nodded ruefully. "If we can get through these next three days, we're in the clear and it's back to doing what we do best."
"Ruling?" Santana asked with the bourgeoning hint of a smile.
"Precisely."