Hey guys, it's Ryan. I've finally uploaded my first story! I might add more chapters to this, depending on what kind of feedback I receive :) So R&R, enjoy, and please, go easy on me! Oh, and you know the deal - all characters in my story belong to Richelle Mead. I only own the plot :) Thanks!

"Ungh!" I grunted as I packed as much ferocity as I could into my punch, but even as I watched the punching bag fly back and slap against the wall, I still felt no satisfaction, no release. Sighing, I slumped back against the wall, sliding down till my butt hit the floor and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. It was early in the morning, and most everyone was asleep.

Except for me, of course.

Not too long ago, I had woken up in a cold sweat, gasping from the severity of my dream. Dimitri had played the starring role; no surprise there. Everything I ever dreamt involved him. But in this dream, things had been getting . . . well, pretty hot and heavy, to say the least. It was almost like a continuation of what could have happened in Dimitri's bedroom the night Lissa was kidnapped and ex-Prince Victor amplified mine and Dimitri's feelings for each other through a lust charm to distract us. I had tried for hours after that to shake off what can only be called my largest desire wrapped in a dream, but it was to no avail. So I had eventually gotten up, thrown on a sport's bra and sweats, and headed to the gym.

I thanked my lucky stars that it was empty and the doors were unlocked. Not that I had expected anyone else to be using it at the crack of dawn, but still. I burned off all negative emotions and unwanted feelings through combating with Dimitri (which I was finding very ironic, considering he was currently the source of my problems), and even though I wouldn't be practicing with him, I figured the principles were still the same.

Currently, though, I wouldn't say my fighting was doing much for me. I had kept trying to nail this punch-dodge-kick combo Dimitri was teaching me, but I couldn't get it down. So I just resorted to throwing random, sloppy hits at the punching bag. That last one had been all I had.

So there I sat, sweaty and panting, finally letting all of my defenses down to just think.

I thought about the feel of Dimitri's lips on mine . . . the way his touch makes me want to lose myself in him . . . how his smile is all it takes to bring me out of my worst of moods . . . and finally, finally . . . the way he held me, kissed me, showed in his eyes just how much he loved me and wanted me that night we were under the lust spell. . . .

"Rose? Do you know how much trouble you'd be in if another person found you in here?"

I groaned. Damn it, I was having wish fulfillment. I think about the Russian god, and all of a sudden I can hear his voice.

"Roza? Are you all right? Answer me!"

I was about to tell the Dimitri-voice to leave me alone, can't you see I'm having a mental breakdown? But a hard, head-wobbling shake woke me up from the daze I had been stuck in.

Caught off guard, I sprung up, throwing the intruder's hands off of me. But before I could get my fist fully out to land a blow, another hand grabbed it and twisted my arm behind my back, spinning me around and pinning me to the wall. They pressed their body against mine, trapping me there as I struggled restlessly against them, about to scream out. But then a hand clamped over my mouth. And before I could bite down, the scent of after shave hit me, and soon after, I heard a voice in my ear.

"Rose, stop. It's just me."

I had stopped fighting him a second before he opened his mouth. Dimitri sensed this and stepped back, allowing me room to breathe. I wiped a hand across my forehead and face, hastily trying to make myself look a bit more presentable. So many things were wrong here. I had come to the gym to escape Dimitri, but now here he was. Then, I had acted like a complete and utter fool by first ignoring him because I thought I was just hallucinating, and then attacking him. Not to mention the fact my hair was mussed and I was all smelly from sweat. Some good impression of a future guardian (and seductress) I was making.

Still trying to catch my breath and forget about how totally embarrassing this all was, I looked up at Dimitri, about to ask why he was here. But the words froze in my throat when I followed his gaze.

His eyes were roaming over my body, and were full of an obvious appreciation for what was before him. And then I realized all I had on was a skimpy sport's bra and sweatpants from last year that had grown a little snug from the muscle I had packed on.

I tried to casually cross my arms, not wanting Dimitri to sense my discomfort. Don't get me wrong; I was entirely loving the way he was blatantly checking me out, and I know that with any other guy I would have been flaunting my body for all it was worth. But that was just it. This wasn't any other guy. This was Dimitri Belikov, badass guardian and super-hot mentor. And up until now, he hadn't really been showing any signs of wanting to jump on me and hook up then and there, except for the occasional make-out sessions and longer-then-necessary touches; all of which were quickly followed by lectures on how wrong our feelings for each other were and how it wouldn't happen again - couldn't happen again - no matter what.

Sadly, though, as soon as I crossed my arms he was back to guardian-formal business, nothing left in his eyes but a curious glint that could be taken as nothing more than wonder at why I was in here. But first I had to know why he was here.

"Hey, comrade. . . ." I stopped and coughed in my fist, trying desperately to get rid of the lingering awkward air surrounding us. "What are you doing here?"

He stared back at me, crossing his arms across his chest as well. "I should be asking you the same thing, Rose."

I cleared my throat again, this time doing it to stall. I didn't want to answer his question, so I stared at my sneakers. After a while, I saw him move from the corner of my eye.

"Come," he said to me, walking over to a corner of the room and dragging out a couple of mats. He gracefully sat down on the floor and folded his legs, gesturing for me to do the same. I gingerly lowered myself to the mat. "Rose, do you know that if anyone found you in here at this time of day you could be in big trouble?"

"I know," I said dryly, still not meeting his eyes. "You already told me that."

I heard him sigh. "Rose," he tried again, "what were you thinking coming in here? Is something wrong?"

Finally, I looked up and stared directly into his eyes. I don't know what came over me in that moment, but we could chalk it up to sexual tension, right? "Yes," I said. "Yes, Dimitri, something's wrong."

I watched him tense. "What is it? Is Lissa alright?"

I let out a puff of air, impatient. "She's fine. She's in her room, sound asleep." I didn't add how happy I was about that. Usually she'd be up in the church attic with Christian, going at it.

Dimitri's face scrunched into a question mark. "Then what . . .?" He stopped, and his features morphed into worry. He leaned towards me. "Rose, were you feeling spirit's dark effects again?"

This was really driving me insane now, no pun intended. "No!" Dimitri's eyebrows shot up at the outburst. "No, Dimitri, Lissa's fine and I'm fine. Well, I'm fine in the sense of spirit's side effects. But I'm not fine with us."

Dimitri sat back against the wall again. "What's wrong with us?" he asked. I couldn't read any emotions on his face. His eyes held nothing.

"Everything!" I scooted closer to him, close enough for me to touch his face without fully extending my arm. I didn't actually do this, of course. "We're made for each other, Dimitri. We want each other, that much is clear. But I don't want to keep hiding my feelings. I don't want to kiss you in a dark corner one moment, and then hear a sermon that would make Father Andrew proud on how wrong it was the next. I just want to love you."

I braced myself for an onslaught of those said lectures, but what came next shocked me to my core.

Dimitri studied me for a moment before reaching for my hand and playing with it, tracing patterns on my palm as he thought out his words. "I want to love you too, Roza. I do love you. And I'm tired of trying to deny it as well." He looked up into my eyes, and I found sincerity there.

My breath caught a little. "Y-you do?"

The corners of his mouth turned up into a slight smile as he squeezed my hand. "I do. Do you know how often I think about you? Every day, Roza. All I want to do all day, every day, is hold you and kiss you. Do you know how often I fall asleep imagining you coming to my room that night?" I knew the night he was referring to - the night of Victor's lust charm. "Almost every night, Roza. I know we can get in trouble for this, and I know falling in love with my student wasn't the responsible thing to do. I've endangered not only your life, but Lissa's as well. But I still continue to love you."

I was stunned. Dimitri hadn't shown this much emotion since . . . ever. This side of him - this warm, loving side - was rarely seen. "I love you too . . . and I don't care if you've endangered my life. You also haven't endangered Lissa's, either. We both know we'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe, and she'll never have to fear as long as we're with her."

He smiled. "You're right." And for the first time ever, I saw Dimitri let his guard down, and the mask he always kept perfectly in place slipped completely. I saw Dimitri not as a guardian god, but as my equal, my other half, and my soon-to-be lover.

His mouth pressed against mine in a sweet and tender kiss, and one of his hands left my waist to tangle in the strands of my ponytail. I felt him remove the elastic band around it, slipping it onto his wrist. My hands probed until they found the hem of his shirt, and I tugged it up, sliding my hands across his chest. And then I pulled back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, slightly breathless from our kissing. His eyes held concern.

"I don't want to do this in the gym."

Understanding flashed in his eyes, and he smiled at me as he grabbed my waist and stood up, picking me up and carrying me. I rested my head on his shoulder as he walked. I had no idea where we were going, but I was in his arms, so I didn't care.

When we stopped, I saw that he had taken me into the woods on the side of the Academy. We were practically on the edge of the wards.

We were also standing in front of the same cabin Tasha Ozera, Christian's aunt, had stayed in when she visited the Academy for winter break.

Dimitri smiled down at me, kissing my hair. "Now we'll have a bed and privacy."

I grinned. He carried me to the bed, and tenderly laid me on it. After removing his pants, he joined me, leaning on top of me but supporting most of his weight with his elbows so as not to crush me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and clasped my legs around his waist, bringing his head down to mine so I could kiss him.

He pulled back a little, but only enough to where we could make eye contact. "Are you sure, Roza?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes for a moment. I knew I wanted this. I shouldn't have even had to think about it. But I wanted to make sure that if we went through with it, he wouldn't regret it later. His eyes told me everything I needed to know: he meant what he said in the gym - he was finished with lecturing me after every time we kiss. He wouldn't regret this.

Slowly, he began to remove every article of my clothing. I kicked off my sneakers as he finished.

I watched his eyes travel swiftly over my body, and my breath came faster. His breathing matched mine. "Roza, you're so beautiful. You've made me the happiest man alive since the day I brought you back to the Academy."

My heart swelled with love and joy. There was no way in the world this man could belong to me. But he did.

And as his lips travelled across my skin, passion consumed all else. The rest of our clothes came off, and our higher reasoning was replaced with an almost-animalistic sort of desire and need.

"I love you more than anything in this world. Are you sure you're ready?"

I didn't trust my voice to stay steady enough for me to give an answer. So instead, I nodded. Combined with the look I gave him, it was as strong a confirmation as any words I could've said.

Kissing my lips once more, I experienced the feeling of sex for the very first time.

So how was it? Good? Bad? Okay? I need to know these things! As my first published baby, I have to know how it went! That attractive green button says you're sexy. So push it.
xoxo,
Ryan