Vix surveyed her house, and found it to be in order. The house was clean, organized and ready to be empty for the summer. Her phone had been forwarded to Lamb's house on Martha's Vineyard, as had her mail. Her neighbor's son Doug was lined up to cut the grass, and his mother Sue would keep her garden in shape.
Nate and Grace were outside chatting with their friends who they were leaving behind. Two days ago, after an extended phone discussion with Lamb and Abby, Vix had decided to take them up on their offer of the house for the summer. Lamb and Abby had renovated the summer house yet again a few months ago, adding room to the den and another second floor bedroom, so there were now five bedrooms, four bathrooms and lots of living space.
It would be perfect for her and the kids, and for Maizie and Lamb and Abby whenever they could visit.
Vix took a deep breath, armed the security system, and closed and locked the door.
She and the kids had driven this route many times, when she had been with Gus.
When she had been with Gus…It was still painful to say it. She wasn't with Gus any longer. Gus had taken several overseas postings, and when he was home this spring for a visit from his posting in Jordan, she had found out he had a lovely French mistress. Her stomach knotted at the thought.
She'd been in the kitchen making a salad, and Gus and the kids were at the park. His blackberry was charging and it rang. She looked at the name on the screen and it said 'Francine Paris', so she picked it up, thinking it was a colleague.
"Hello?"
"Oh…is Gus there?" A French accent.
"Sorry, he's outside with our kids. Can I take a message?"
"Outside…your house?"
"Yes, our house. Are you a colleague of his? Is there a message?"
Silence for almost a minute. Then "Are you together? You and Gus?"
What kind of question was this? "Yes, we've been married since 1992. Almost twenty years. Who are you?" Her stomach was flipping.
"Are you together the whole time? You're not separated?" She said sep-rated. Her accent was strong but her language skills were good. Still, she could hear the doubt in her voice.
"No, we've been together the whole time. How do you know Gus, Francine?"
"Can you tell Gus that Francine called from Paris? Thank you." Francine ended the call.
Salad forgotten, Vix staggered into the living room and fell into a chair. Francine was clearly not an ordinary colleague. Francine was surprised that she and Gus were together. Her questions told the whole story, or at least as much as Vix needed to know.
Gus was having an affair with Francine.
Gus was having an affair.
An affair. An affair! An affair.
Vix lapsed into some kind of fog, and was jarred into the present when Gus came in to the room with her.
"Baby, why're you crying? What's wrong?" He sat down on the ottoman and put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't even realize she was crying until she felt her face, then wiped the tears away sloppily and ineffectively.
Vix could hardly get the words out. "How long, Gus?" she whispered. "How long have you been fucking Francine?"
Gus jumped and withdrew his arm. "What? What're you talking about?"
"Francine called here. I answered your Blackberry. She was surprised you were here, with our kids, in our house. That we'd been together twenty years. Not separated."
Gus looked shaken to his core. He looked away.
"How long, Gus?"
He jumped up and paced back and forth. He wasn't denying it, calling it a misunderstanding. And worse for Francine, and for Vix, Francine had been surprised he was with Vix.
He'd been telling women he was single.
He was out looking for love. Or sex. He didn't care about their vows or all their promises to each other or their history. The marriage was a sham.
That pretty much stamped 'paid' to it. She heard him talking, so she paid attention.
"I get lonely over there, honey. Being away from you. I've sought some comfort, but only with Francine." His whole demeanor changed, to one of a whiny teenager.
Vix wasn't having it. This was classic. She made the decision as she said the words. "Our marriage is over, Gus. As of today, April 8, 2012, we are separated. I'm filing for divorce."
"NO!" he shouted. "It means nothing. I won't see her again."
"Too late. Go ahead and see her. You and I are done. I've been home here, raising our children, and you've been in exotic places, sitting in smoky bars chasing political stories, drinking bourbon. I was okay with that, but now I know you were in someone else's bed on top of it while I was doing the heavy lifting."
"I was doing heavy lifting too. I was away from my family. If you'd have worked full-time, Victoria, we could have afforded all this better." He waved his arms around, indicating our living room. "We needed the extra money an overseas posting gave me so I could pay for this."
"So let me get this straight. It's my fault."
"No. Yes. No. We needed more money."
"You knew when we got married that I was going to be an at-home Mom. I only worked part-time to pay for the extras for the kids and to have some spending money. We agreed on it before we got married."
"That was before you wanted this house, the Volvo and the stainless steel appliances."
Vix gasped. That was such a lie. Gus had pushed for the house, for getting out of the city after they had Nate. Gus's father gave them a hefty down payment for the house, and they were able to have a small mortgage. Lamb and Abby had given her money for furniture. After Nate was born, she didn't go back to the big public relations firm in the city. Since then, she got certified and started doing project management for an architect and had become a Lean specialist. She paid for the Volvo lease. And she only worked when the kids were in school and never on Mondays or Fridays. They'd budgeted for everything. Carefully.
"Move your things into the spare room, Gus."
"No fucking way. This is my house, Vix. You are my wife and I'm not letting you make all the decisions here."
"Okay, I'll move to the spare room." She stood up and stepped around him at the same time he grabbed her and pulled her against his big frame.
"No! We are not splitting up because of this one indiscretion on my part."
"You still haven't answered me. How long have you been sleeping with her? Only in Jordan? How about in Rome? How about in Paris? Or Kigali? Or Tunis?"
He flexed his jaw. She'd hit a nerve.
"Shame on me, for being so stupid. I never ever suspected. Never. God, first Caitlin and Bru, now you." Then she let loose a stream of swear words she hardly ever let pass her lips, calling him every bad name she could think of. When she heard a gasp, she looked to see Nate, her sixteen year old son, and Grace, who had just turned fifteen in January, staring at her in horror and surprise.
Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
They pulled into Lamb's driveway. Lamb had subdivided his land a few years before, and what had been open field was now filled up with new homes and cottages. There were neighbors now.
Vix felt a calm settle over her as she got out of her Volvo station wagon. She stared at the house, and remembered the first time she arrived here. So many memories, both good and painful. She looked at Nate and Grace and knew she'd have to tell them some of the many stories about her time on the island. There was no telling about whom they'd meet here, and what they'd hear if they did. Nate and Bru's younger son David were almost the same age. Girls she'd worked with at the cleaners and at the restaurant still lived on the island. Dave and Patti were here, and Maizie knew lots of people.
The possibilities were endless.
"Mom, is something wrong?" Nate's voice jarred her out of her reverie.
"No, honey, nothing's wrong, I'm just daydreaming about the many days and nights I've spent in this very house." I pulled out several bags, and made my way around the back of the house to enter into the kitchen. I reached into the mailbox and there was an envelope left there by Trisha, with a key inside. I tore the envelope open, inserted the key, turned the knob and pushed the door open.
The house sparkled, and she could smell 'new'. Lamb had said that the renovations were very recent. The kitchen was brand new, with white cupboards, granite counters and modern lights. All the appliances were stainless steel. Hah! She thought that Gus would see his vaunted perfect house if he came here, which he wouldn't.
Not with her here. The kids could see him when they wanted. She wouldn't ever see him again if she could help it.
She and the kids toured the house. There were now two sets of stairs, one up to the older part of the house where she and Caitlin had spent their childhood summers, and a near-spiral staircase into the new guest suite. It was connected to the old part on the second floor by a hall and a screened-in porch. We all walked all over the house, exclaiming at how lucky we were to be in such a wonderful home. Nate claimed the traditional boys room, and Grace claimed Angela and my old room. That left the master suite for Lamb and Abby's visits, with Pete's old room staying vacant.
Vix
Over the next week after Francine's phone call, the house had been like an armed camp, and the battle ran from room to room. When I was at work, my mind was roiling with words from our latest fights. At one point, he'd admitted he'd slept with more women than just Francine. He'd been angry at me, he told me, for forcing him to take overseas postings.
Ha! she thought. Being a foreign correspondent had a certain cachet, and he loved it. It just meant being gone. She knew he'd been a bit angry about money and her refusal to go back to work full-time.
So he fucked countless women to get revenge.
The only revenge I wanted to take on him was to divorce him. As much as I'd loved him through the years, and no matter how much I understood that people were imperfect, I couldn't forgive him his countless indiscretions. One, maybe. Lying awake on the terrible bed in the spare room, I spent a lot of time thinking about whether it was worse that he had a 'steady' mistress on top of all the nameless, faceless women he'd been with. Which was more of a betrayal?
I couldn't decide. I only knew I couldn't look at him, and that I didn't trust him anymore. I didn't believe anything he said, and once you've reached that point, it was over.
But we still fought, even if it was with less fury on my part.
He always brought Bru up. He said terrible things about Bru, about his so-called social class (and how it was supposedly different from ours), him being a construction worker, a hockey player, and a man about the island after he and I had split. His strategy was to make me dislike Bru so I wouldn't go near him. Hell, there were thousands of men I could date. He knew that. But he saw Bru as the ultimate threat, not really grasping that I was done with him.
And I hadn't seen Bru in five years, so I didn't know what the fuss was about. Bru was a married man, with a wife and three kids. And I didn't bother to point out that Bru and Von's construction business was very successful, and that Bru had bought Maizie a new car for her 21st birthday. Maizie had told me her Dad had written a cheque for it at the dealer's office, and that the only other person she'd ever seen do that was Lamb. Maizie had been worried about him spending so much, but he'd told her there was more where that came from.
So I knew Bru was pretty steady and pretty well off. But it went on and on. Gus muttered things at me as I passed him. He'd even stood at my bedroom door and shouted things at me after I'd taken refuge there.
I'd had enough. I didn't want to look at him, and it made me madder to do so, so it was to his benefit to get out if he really wanted me to like him again.
I had to stop dwelling on this radical change in my quiet life. Roll with the punches, I told myself. I was a university graduate, I was resilient, I could adapt to this new situation. I was still young, I had a good figure, I could find another partner.
Wait a minute. I wasn't going there. Not yet.
I was young, I was smart and I could find myself a new situation. I had skills I could utilize in a new job. The kids were adaptable if I wanted to move.
I had the whole summer to think. I'd look up some of my old girlfriends from the summers I spent here and move forward.
My stomach growled, so I left the kids in the living room with the big screen, and headed into town for some groceries. The back of the car had been full of my baking and canning, but I needed fresh food. I went to a newer looking grocery store, and was winding my way through, trying to make up menus for the kids and I. I reached up to grab Ketchup from a shelf and heard a gasp. I turned and looked, and saw Patty. In a whirl, she had her arms around me.
"Are you here for the weekend, Vix?" She still called me by my teenage nickname.
"No, for the summer. I'm single again, and I needed to get away from Nyack. The kids and I needed a change."
Her face fell. "Single? Oh My God! I'm sorry. I thought you were the perfect couple. Is this recent? Last I heard, you guys were together. At least when I talked to Lamb when Bru and Von did the renovations."
Bru did the renos. Of course he would.
She was talking still, which is how I remembered Patty. "You know about Star, dying of breast cancer, don't you?"
I jerked my head towards Patty. "What? When?" No, I didn't know. How could I not know?
Patty looked away. "I think Lamb and Abby didn't want to tell you, because you must have been dealing with Gus. She had a lumpectomy a few years ago, and we found out it was in her liver and pancreas just before Christmas. It got bad in late March. She died in May."
Just last month. I was overwhelmed. Bru had such bad luck with women. First me, then Caitlin, now Star. My eyes filled with tears and spilled over. I wiped them away. It was one of those moments.
"Poor Bru. How terrible for him and the boys. Tell him I'm so sorry." I wiped a few tears away, and Patty grabbed my forearm and squeezed tenderly.
"They weren't really together at the end, Vix. They only lived together. Bru lived in the basement, so he could deal with the boys and look after things."
That was like a slap. What?
Patty continued. "Star never got over the fact that when you and he split, he didn't go back to her. She carried lots of resentment. She hated it that she only got Bru after Caitlin left and Abby told him you were engaged to Gus. I tried to get her to stop busting his balls and picking fights, but she just couldn't and they ended up barely tolerating each other."
Oh, god. He was single.
Bru was single. She hadn't allowed herself to think about Bru after he married Caitlin, or after Caitlin had left him, or after he'd hooked up with Star again.
"Patty, I didn't know any of this. Lamb and Abby never said a word, and neither did Maizie, and she calls me all the time. I'm so shocked."
"Yeah, well, it was pretty shocking, and she just crashed suddenly at the end and it was one thing after another. Every day Bru got called away from work to deal with something. I swear he lost twenty pounds, which was good cause he lost his beer belly, but he was exhausted. I went to part-time so I could help out with meals for the boys and spending time with Star. It was unbelievable. And Maizie was never a big fan of Star, or vice versa."
Whoa. I'd have to ask Maizie about that at the appropriate time. "Kind of makes my cheating husband issue seem pretty small and unimportant, doesn't it?"
"No, sweetie, that's still pretty horrible for you. This was just really hard and wrenching, especially for those two boys. The oldest, Joe, still is dealing with a lot of anger at his Dad because he and his Mom weren't happy. He blames Bru for not loving Star enough. He thinks that's what killed her."
Good heavens, that's really something. "Oh, god, Patty, that's terrible. I don't know, that's just so hard to fathom, living with your partner who you're estranged from, doing everything, and them dying. Wow. At least Gus is out of my life. He still talks to the kids every day, but he and I definitely aren't on speaking terms."
"Vix, let's meet for coffee with Trisha soon. I'll call you at Lamb's, and here's my cell number in case you need help or want to talk." We exchanged numbers, hugged again and finished our shopping.
While I finished, I thought about how much we all had changed over the years. Patty had been rough around the edges when I first saw her and for years afterwards, but not so much anymore. I had been too silent, holding things in and not expressing myself, but I had learned to talk more. Bru had been the same. Patty's husband Von had been the talker, the expressive one, to a fault. There was no thought unexpressed, which had been ugly the first few years they'd been together. Until she'd gotten the job at the bank, according to Trisha, and had gotten training and some self-esteem building promotions and then some respect from Von.
It was going to be interesting around here. I stood in the checkout line and the lady behind me told me I looked familiar. She had been one of the older servers at the Homeport and we talked about where the staff was. I was going to run into people continually.
When I got home, I beeped the horn to let the kids know there were groceries to be carried in. As I pulled bags out of the back of the Volvo, Nate cleared his throat and I looked up. A big kid was standing with Nate, and I took a good look at him. He had to be Bru's boy, Dave. There was no way he wasn't. He stared at me and I at him.
"Uh, Dave, this is my Mom, Victoria or Vix. Mom, this is Dave Brudeghr. His Dad is Bru."
Instead of telling my son that I could see how much Dave looked like Bru, I shook hands with him. He was quite the handsome lad. "Hi, Victoria. Or should I call you Vix like Patty and Von do? My Dad only refers to you as Victoria, so I'm confused."
"Either is good, sweetie. Vix was my nickname with some people. Doesn't matter. Thanks for helping with the bags. Here, Grace, here's a few for you too." Dave looked at Grace quickly. Grace had a bikini top on, and tiny shorts. Dave was getting an eyeful, because Grace had the same body I'd had, and she had no qualms about showing it off and didn't get what all the fuss was about. Nate just rolled his eyes. She hated her big breasts and didn't get that every man who saw her would love them.
Dave would be turning seventeen in July, and Nate in October. Grace would turn sixteen in January, so they were all really close in age. They could hang out together. Grace wanted more swimming lessons so I had to see about that, and Nate wanted a job.
When I got into the nice cool kitchen, the island was full of bags and Grace was putting things away, in roughly the same spots that things went in our house. Dave was watching her.
"Mom, Dave says he thinks I could work with Bru and Von's company because they're so busy with building houses this summer. Would that be okay with you? I wanted to ask before Dave asked his Dad." I shrugged and nodded. It would be fine with me, as long as it was safe and he got paid.
Dave immediately pulled out his phone and called a number. "Dad, hey, you know Nate, right? He'd like a job this summer." There was silence. Dave looked at me and handed me the phone. I was shocked.
"Uh, hello?"
"Hi, Victoria. How are you?" His voice was a bit rougher, and a bit lower, and a shiver ran through me. Dammit. I needed to keep my cool.
"Hi, Bru. I'm fine. How are you? I'm so sorry about Star. I just heard." I looked at Dave and he gulped.
"Thanks, Victoria. It was rough, but we're doing okay." He paused and I could hear him take a deep breath. "So, is it okay with you if Nate comes to work with Dave? They do clean up, they carry stuff and things like that. I'll pay him what I pay Dave, which is $15 an hour and they start work at 7 am most mornings."
Jesus, fifteen bucks an hour? The company must be doing okay. "That's so great, Bru. Thank God he'll be busy and earning some money. Perfect. Oh, and Maizie is coming this weekend and is staying here, but I'm sure you'll hear from her soon."
"Yeah, she texted me that already. That's how I knew to send Dave down to meet Nate. And of course, Patty saw you too."
"News travels fast. Stop by for coffee if you have a chance."
"Thanks, Victoria. I will. Soon. See you later, and tell Nate work starts tomorrow. Dave was off this afternoon to go to the doctor for an ingrown toenail."
"Okay. Bye bye."
Dave stayed for a few minutes after that and he and Nate chatted, then went home, and the kids and I grilled steak and veggies for supper. I made a simple salad, and for dessert we had strawberries and blueberries. I'd lost weight since Gus and I had split by not buying buns or dessert and by limiting my glass of wine to one or two nights a week. I weighed only a few pounds more than when I'd gotten married, which was a miracle, but my body had changed, of course. I was forty-six and had hips from having two kids. I was no teenager.
And I was separated from my husband.
I was happily doing dishes when there was a knock on the back door. The door opened and Dave came in, followed by Bru. My heart almost stopped, and I stood, transfixed. I dried my hands on my tea towel.
I hadn't seen him in about five years, since he'd brought Maizie back to Abby's while I was there, after her weekend visit. Maizie must have been sixteen, but didn't drive down here by herself yet. We had stared at each other last time, and this time we did the same. I know I smiled, and thought to myself that he looked just like Bruce Springsteen had when he was in his early fifties, with that Italian glow, the tan, the hair and the incredible good looks.
And the incredible body. He was slim, but very muscular. Slim hips. Big arms. Nice pecs.
He came over and reached towards me. I threw my arms around his neck, and he grabbed me and squeezed me tight, lifting me up in the air. He growled and it reverberated through my body.
"God, you feel good, Vix. You have no idea," he said quietly in my ear, so the kids wouldn't hear. He kept squeezing me against his chest, and my breasts were getting pancaked against him, but I was pretty sure that's what he was going for.
"It's so good to see you, Bru. You look great, despite…what you've been through." He buried his face in my neck and hair and I knew he was smelling me, like he'd always done. Before. Almost three decades ago.
He finally put me down, to silence and surprised stares from our children.
They weren't expecting that. But, then, neither was I.
He talked to me like it hadn't been twenty-five years. "We live five doors down, you know."
"No, I didn't." We were still staring at each other. He was looking me all over, the way I'd cased him out.
The kids were still watching us. I smiled at him and he smiled back, then leaned down and gave me a peck on the lips.
I smiled again, and turned to look at the kids, who all looked like they were watching a space launch. I introduced Nate and Grace to Bru. They wordlessly shook his hand. I wondered what they were thinking, meeting the 'boogey-man' that Gus and I fought about. Bru and I looked at each other, with smiles on our faces. Finally, Dave spoke.
"Dad, can I take the truck? Can you walk home?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll take Vix up on her offer of a coffee."
I smiled at him. "You could even have a beer, if you wanted."
"A beer would be good. Here's some money, Dave. Go for ice cream or a movie or whatever, but remember, six o'clock comes early."
The boys coughed. Nate winked at me. "Mom, you gonna get up with me? I'll need my hot breakfast if I'm gonna be working hard all day."
"Of course I'll get up, Nathan. When have I ever let you get up and have cold cereal?"
"Never. And I'm gonna need my omelet from now on."
Dave's jaw was hanging open. "Your Mom gets up and gives you a hot breakfast? No way!" The kids all trooped out without a backward glance. I saw how Grace was staring at Dave, and how Dave was looking back at Grace with a little smile on his face.