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Bruce Wayne shifted in the comfy leather office chair in his office at Wayne Interprises, sighing. He winced as he shifted a bit too hard and knocked his sore shoulder against the chair. Ever since The Joker had beat him around the head with a hard metal pole he had been so…sore. It was worse than getting sprayed with Scarecrow's fear toxin. He looked up and saw that his secretary, Ann, (or was it Bethany?) was leaving for the day. He sighed in relief, then pulled open the middle desk drawer, and took out an iPod that was customized with the Bat Signal engraved in the back. Alfred had gotten it for him for Christmas awhile back, and Bruce didn't mind the Bat Signal ingraved in the music player. He, in all honesty, kinda liked it. He had to chuckle at that, and then pulled out his earphones. He slammed shut the desk drawer and plugged the earphones in his ears, turning on the iPod and chuckling at the song that came up. Mariah Carey's 'Obessed'. It fit the situation that he, no, Batman, was in perfectly with that damned Joker.
Why
you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know)
Lying that youre sexing
me (when everybody knows)
Its clear that youre upset with
me
Finally found a boy that you couldnt impress
Last man on the
earth still couldnt hit this
Youre delusional, youre
delusional
Boy youre losing your mind
Its confusing you, youre
confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired
up with your Napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like youre
bathing in Windex
Boy why you so obsessed with me?
The Joker, he mused, was obessed with the Batman. It was obvious in the way he tried to attract the Batman's attention, the way he singled out the Batman everytime. And the interrogation room just had confirmed Bruce's fears. Okay, maybe, just maybe , that the Joker was right that they completed each other. He was just a tiny bit right though. Brue wasn't gay, hell to the no, he was not, but he would admit that he liked to beat that damn clown to a pulp. It was obvious that the clown liked the beatings from the manical laughter he always let loose, the snarky comments, hell, the way he walked. Bruce hated the clown with everything he had for killing Rachel. The song's tone changed, and Bruce noticed the verse that was playing.
You
on your job
You hating hard
Aint gon feed you
Im gonna let
you starve
Gasping for air
Im ventilation
You out of
breath
Hope you aint waiting
Telling the world how much you
miss me
But we never were
So why you trippin
You a mom and
pop
Im a corporation
Im the press conference
and you a
conversation
Bruce had a mental lightbulb go off. Maybe, just maybe, if he ignored the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker might leave him the hell alone….
THREE WEEKS LATER…..
Bruce came to in an empty warehouse, tied up on a chair and gasping for breath from the ropes that cut into his chest. 'Where the hell am I?' He thought, then tensed as a single door in front of him swung open on squeaky hinges. The Joker stalked in, purple overcoat snapping as he stalked forward, his heavily made up face twisting in anger, those dangerous dark green eyes narrowing. 'Oh. Shit.' Bruce mentally banged his head agianst a mental wall.
"Well, well, well. Batsy. Bat-head. Batnincompoop. Bat-fuckin'-tastic." The Joker snarled, every word from his mouth acidic. Bruce flinched. The Joker was so pissed off it wasn't even funny. And it showed, from the way the Joker was ridgidly standing up, his gloved hands balled into tight fists, to the way he glared, to the way his mouth was like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode in every direction. From the way those eyes (God, he had goregous eyes) had HellFire in them. WAIT, HIS GOREGOUS EYES??? Bruce yelled mentally, his own blue eyes widening.
See? I told youuuuuuu!! Batman sing-songed in his head.
. Bruce yelled back in his head, flamebroiled. Of course, when the Joker was done with him, he wouldn't be flamebroiled, he'd be vaporized. Well- done. Baked. He would have to move to Alaska, no Antartica. But that was besides the point.
"So. Batsy. You decided to ignore me? Well…I have an, uh, sol-ut-ion to that…pro-bl-em. You ever ignore me again, and, uh..well…the Gothamites get to learn that the true Batman is, uh, Bruce Wayne. So, Brrrrucie, what will it be?? Ignoring me?? Or not?? Ya know, I missed the beatings…" He cackled with laughter and Bruce's blood pressure shot up.
"Untie me, Joker. I'll just have to beat you senseless." He growled, his blood boiling. The Joker didn't miss a beat and slashed his ropes before running off. Batman chased after him, cursing him to high hell.
Why
you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know) Why you
so obsessed with me
Lying that youre sexing
me (when everybody knows)
Its clear that youre upset with
me
Finally found a girl that you couldnt impress
Last man on
the earth still couldnt hit this
Youre delusional, youre
delusional
Boy youre losing your mind
Its confusing yo, youre
confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired
up with your Napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like youre
bathing in Windex
Boy why you so obsessed with me?
Lying that youre sexing me
Its clear that
youre upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldnt
impress
Last man on the earth still couldnt hit this
Youre
delusional, youre delusional
Boy youre losing your mind
Its
confusing yo, youre confused you know
Why you wasting your
time
Got you all fired up with y our napoleon complex
Seeing
right through you like youre bathing in windex
Boy why you so
obsessed with me
TWO WEEKS LATER AFTER THAT…
Bruce Wayne woke up, kept his eyes closed, and pulled in closer the warm object in his bed. Then he heard the chilling laughter. "WHAT THE FUCK??!??" He screamed, bolting up and leaping backwards. The Joker, clothed in only a pair of skintight green briefs, started to laugh. "What did you do to me?" He snarled, backing up until he was pressed against the wall.
The Joker only laughed harder, snorting, "Shouldn't I be the one asking that? You're the one who fucked me last night, Batsy….
Bruce Wayne fainted.
FIN!!!
Sorry if it suks ppl!!