Alright, so today is Heath Ledger's 35th birthday (April 4, 2014), so I thought I'd throw a little something together for him. (R.I.P.) It's not much and it's not that great, but I thought I'd throw in an origin of Bud and Lou out there as well. I don't own Heath Ledger or Bud and Lou. I guess I own Jake the Henchman that I just made up out of nowhere. Thanks for reading, and please review! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTAH J! -SevvyGirl
Joker's Birthday 2014
HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAA! the laughter echoes down the corridor. I know that means that the Joker's watching cartoons again. I'm sure of it. It's Saturday morning and I'm on my way to see if he needs anything this morning. I've been working for the Joker for several months now, so I'm used to this routine.
I stop at the door, shouldering my gun back and knock, even though the door's open. The Joker immediately looks over, eyes narrowed, smile gone. I'm used to this suspicious response.
"Oh, it's you again," he rolls his eyes. I get the feeling that he doesn't like me as much as some of the other guys. We take turns on who checks on the Joker each morning. He knows I always get Saturday mornings because the other guys are too afraid to go in when he's laughing like this.
"You need anything, Boss?" I ask, secretly already holding two chocolate bars behind my back.
"Come in, have a seat," he says instead, gesturing to a purple bean bag chair next to his own green one. He rarely invites me in; only once before; the first time I checked on him. This makes me nervous. What if this is the LAST time I check on him? What if he decides to add a little red decor to his room?
I go in anyways and have a seat, passing him a chocolate bar wordlessly. He smirks and takes it, opening it and taking a bite. "So," he says past the chocolatey goodness, "do you know what's special about today?"
"No," I say slowly, hoping that he's not going to a pull a 'it's your death day' and shoot me kind of thing.
He leans in close to my ear and the hair on my neck rises. "It's my birthday."
"Happy birthday," I grin, hoping that's all there is to this. "What are your birthday plans for today?"
"Oh, the usual, I thought I'd just blow up the Gotham bridge today again though."
"Sounds good to me...as long as I'm not the one setting the charges, hanging above the water," I laugh. I figure I will be, and I don't mind the thrill. It's why I joined the Joker in the first place.
"Actually, Jake (that's me), since you've been here so long, (four months is a long time working for the Joker you know) I was hoping that you could pick something up for me."
"Sure, Boss, where at?" I ask, eager to get out of this room.
"The City Rail. There's a man waiting..." Joker pulls out a hand-drawn map, "here," he says, pointing, "with a box. I want you to bring the box here while avoiding the police...they wouldn't be very, uh, happy, if they found out what was in the box, if you get what I mean?"
"A bomb?" I guess, dread setting in. I don't want to carry a bomb.
"No, no, nothing so...explosive...more of a yip yap instead of a tick tock," he says and I don't get it, but I smile and say I'll go get the box. "Oh, and pick me up some hair dye while you're out."
"Yes sir," I smile, because I know he likes it when his men smile and laugh like him.
I start to rise and leave, but Joker stops me, handing me a wad of cash. "For the guy with the box," he explains, "and the hair dye...and, uh, don't go blabbing to everyone where you're going," he indirectly threatens. I know what happens to people who talk. It's why I'm so quiet.
I nod and shove the money in my hoody pocket. "See ya," I wave and leave him to his cartoons. The other guys in the kitchen ask me where I'm going, so I just say, "An errand for the Boss is all," and hop in the windowless white van.
I stop and get the hair dye first, that way I can give the other guy the rest of the money. ($1000) I find that there's an extra $20 in there though, with a note on it. It reads: You'll figure it out after you get the box. - J
Reaching Gotham City Rail in a new record time (Joker likes things done fast and I'm going pretty fast), I park and go as fast as I can down the stairs. At first I don't see the guy with a box, but then I spot him over in one corner, near a bunch of homeless bums begging for money in the subway terminal. I slowly make my way over to him, trying not to be too obvious while going against the flow of pedestrians. I get to the guy and he shifts his eyes around, then holds out his hand. I take out the wad of cash and pass it as discreetly as I can manage, taking the box from him. The guy seems in an awful big hurry to get rid of the box, not even counting the money, instead just heading back for the subway. I decide to hurry with the box back to the Boss and hope that he doesn't have any more errands for me this morning.
Back in the van, I carefully place the box in the passenger seat and hop in. I start the van and I swear I hear a yelp of some sort. I look towards the box to hear scrabbling noise. "Something alive?" I whisper to myself. The box doesn't have holes in it. I know I shouldn't open it...but...I mean...I HAVE to.
I carefully open the box and am...pleasantly surprised! "Puppies?" I grin, looking down at the little creatures. "Wait...ha!" I crack up as one makes a funny noise. "Oh my gosh, this is perfect! Laughing hyenas for the Joker!" I laugh, looking at the little things, probably just weaned. I take it that means the extra twenty is for puppy chow.
I put the box in the back of the van so that the hyenas aren't seen by passerby, and quickly run into a supermarket and buy some puppy chow, then practically skip back to the van, elated with this being the easiest errand ever.
I quickly drive back to our latest hideout, one of the many abandoned warehouses that seemingly appear out of nowhere just when we need them, and close the box back up, hoping the guys don't notice I'm carrying dog food. Maybe they're out doing something else in the other van.
They're watching TV as I come in and barely give me a glance of recognition before turning back to the noonday news, talking about how hot Vicki Vale is or something. I personally don't think so; I think she's downright annoying, but I might say the same for the other goons as well. I take the dogfood and the hyenas upstairs. They're going to need a raw meat diet as well as the puppy chow if he plans on them living. The morbid thought crosses my mind that he doesn't plan on them living, and I hope it's not true. I knock on the door again, but now it's closed.
"Come in," Joker's voice calls from inside. I open the door and awkwardly maneuver into the room with the box and dog food.
"I guess you know they're going to need a meat diet," I inform, then think maybe I shouldn't have told the Joker something he should know.
Joker nods, seemingly unangered. He runs over and snatches the box. I sit the dogfood in a corner as Joker opens the box. He grins wide upon seeing the two tiny pups.
"What are you going to name them?"
"Bud and Lou!" Joker immediately declares.
"Like Bud Abbot and Lou Castello?" I ask, thinking the names are totally appropriate for laughing canines like hyenas.
"Yeah, just like them!" he declares and picks both the pups up and lies down on the bed, playing with them.
I grin and ask, "Anything else you need?"
"NoPe," Joker says, popping the p. "Go do whatever the h*** you want for the rest of the day. Tell the bozos downstairs to get off their lazy butts and go set the charges on the Gotham bridge. Tell them there's three crates of fireworks down there as well to set up with the charges to launch first this evening. My birthday's going to be a bang," Joker says, telling me that he doesn't need anything but at the same time telling me he does.
Eh, since when does the Joker make sense anyways?
I'll do as he asks and go get some ice cream and a cake for the Joker to keep on his good side. "Yes sir...Happy birthday, Joker."
He grins at me in reply and I shut the door behind me to the sound of little hyenas laughing with the Joker.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!