I screamed at them, ordered the whole unit to get to safety, they defied me and I'm the only one left now.
Five days ago, while on a routine patrol in the 'Hell Zone', we were attacked by RPG fire in broad daylight, what made it worse is that we had no back up and our unit was seriously undermanned due to being a medical unit on a simple delivery run. Although I am a fully trained medic, today I was there as guard detail – a detail that would cost ten people their lives.
I lay in recovery after surgery to remove the fragments of shrapnel out of my back, I couldn't sleep, every time I closed my eyes there was images of my unit lying dead around me. They came to help get me out the way after an IED exploded and took out our vehicles engine; I honestly don't remember much, a fireball and then being blown across the road and into boulders. I lay there and watched as my unit was destroyed by snipers and RPG fire in the hills around us, I called for backup, and they sent an airstrike…
My eyes refocused as the door opened and in walked my Commanding Officer, I tried to move to my side, and he rushed over and stopped me.
"Easy, you know you shouldn't be moving around so much!"
"Sorry Sir, habit when a CO comes into the room!" I said wincing.
He laughed a little at the joke and sighed as he saw the broad laid bandages over my naked back; he could see some of the smaller scratches and wounds and had been notified of the extensive scarring I would probably have later on.
"You are being sent back to Bastion tonight with your unit, from there, you need to heal and recover, there is no inquiry into what happened, it was all caught on satellite, but the families want to speak to you."
"Understood Sir," I replied, gripping the bars on the bed as a shake went through my whole body.
I hadn't been using my morphine drip as requested by the doctors here, I don't like the feeling of being so calm. I'm a soldier, I've been taught how to control my reaction to pain, to suffering….'why am I slurring' I thought to myself?
I looked over and saw my CO had been hitting the morphine line button; he saw how much this hurt me and took it into his own hands to let me sleep. I fought it, every ounce of my being went into the fight, and I would NOT fall asleep.
I didn't sleep; I lay there, cocooned on a stretcher, strapped into a C17 cargo hold, with the bodies and remains of my whole unit. No-one else was there with us…so I screamed.
We landed.
They took me out first and then the bodies of my unit by procession, I lay on my stomach, still strapped in and staring at anything to keep my brain from waking up. I have bitten out my IV line, the drugs were making me fuzzy and I wanted to feel everything, to remember everything from today. To feel the pain of everyone in the camp that had lost someone under my command. To feel and hear all the accusations of those loved ones back home.
The medics came to remove me to the hospital again, I had refused to go back to the UK, knowing that I would get hammered with psychologist evaluations and would never be able to come back. So I took all my leave at Bastion, all my Physio recovery and none of my meds. Them I didn't need them; couldn't take them – I would do this with every single ounce of pain as atonement.
Three months later
Three months later after passing my refitness evaluation I was successfully cleared to go back to duty, but no-one would take me on in the units due to the wildfire rumours spread about my ability to command an active patrol without getting killed or injured.
"Sir, I was cleared of any wrong doing, this is impossible to work and will only cause problems for everyone….it's the last thing I would ever want!"
I stood in my CO's office at Bastion and shook with frustration that my name and training were now muck within these grounds, I was doomed to be a civil nurse if this was allowed to continue!
"I'm actually glad this has happened," he sighed.
I spun round, angry and ready to snap some comment back at him when he looked at me and I snapped to attention.
"Don't bother getting snide with me Corporal! Your name is muck here and no one wants you in their squad because of what happened. I have another offer for you. If you take this, you transfer to the US Forces in two years, move to Hawaii and work for an old friend – sunny climbs, good food and company" he said standing up.
"McGarrett?" I said winded by the offer.
He nodded in reply and came round to me with a folder and a small package that bore my name on it; I looked up at him and my shoulders relaxed slightly as I noticed the post date and markings.
"Why me, it's been a couple of years since…." I started.
My CO raised his hand and I stopped talking, I held the package tightly and listened to him once he let me get my head around things.
"He needs someone with your skill set and experience to work with his team. They are a special task force assigned to mainly work high end cases; this is a major opportunity for you, and he is really insisting you take it."
Taking the folder and package I opened it up and found a police badge, ID and car keys along with plane tickets for tomorrow from London. I looked up and nodded at my CO.
"At least this way Sir, it will save any discord among the troops."
He stood in front of me and gently took me by the shoulders, he knew my wounds were still raw and caused pain and he now had to say goodbye to one of his most experienced medical staff and combat technicians.
"You will be missed by many people Sarah, and I pray that you find some peace in Hawaii – don't let your badges get you down and I want constant updates where possible alright! Dismissed Corporal and good hunting!" he said saluting me.
Snapping to attention I saluted back and headed out the door, the company logistics officer called me over to hand another package to me.
"Your passport and driving licence, that's been upgraded, and all bank details for new accounts in Oahu. Money will be wired to your account by tomorrow night. Once you reach London, go to the flight desk and you will be given your belongings. All others will be transferred within a few days to address provided."
"Thank you Mike," I whispered back taking note of the details.
"Sarah, you will be missed by many people, but this is the fresh start and I really hope it brings some peace to you!"
Hugging him and a few other people in the area, I headed off to wash, change and catch the connecting flight to Heathrow in London later that afternoon.