THE COUCH SERIES
This is a collaboration between Alennah and Kris (xTenshix) ~
Warnings: Total Random Crackyness, OOC Avengers and Loki, Cussing, Adults acting like children, rating M (SMUT :D DUH), abusing of couches.
Pairing: IronFrost/FrostIron (WE DON'T KNOW YET D:)
Vote?
Disclaimer: Don't own blabla
Kris: Loki is mine blabla
Lennah: I'll take Tony blabla.
Summary: A couch or sofa, is a piece of furniture for sitting or reclining. It is designed to seat more than one person, and usually has a back and armrests. In homes, couches are normally found in the family room, living room, den, sitting room or the lounge. They will also be found in hotels and parts of commercial offices, waiting rooms, furniture stores, etc. Read the adventures of our favourite boys with different couches.
Couch description taken from wikipedia.
The Couch
Stark Tower, Living room, 04:34 PM
Loki fumed. How dare they choose this punishment? He was a God! They couldn't just lock him up in the frigging Stark Tower with those Avenger Apes.
Moreover they 'took' away his power. How? He didn't know himself, but he was sure to find out. An evil glint appeared in his eyes, when he thought about the things he would do to them. Especially to his 'brother' who agreed on this kind of punishment.
The thing he hated even more than the fact they 'took' his powers, he had to live with the Avengers. He almost, almost because Lokis don't beg, begged Thor to take him 'home'. Better facing Odin and the people of Asgard than staying in this horror tower.
Why he hated the Avengers so much? Well apart from the fact that they kicked hi- ...had been very lucky and defeated him, there were some other MAJOR things about them Loki didn't like.
First of all: Clint. He was so, unintelligent and barbaric! And lets not forget plainly annoying. He could actually have one of those arrows up his ass, if Loki didn't know any better. There was also the fact that he practically licked the feet of that stupid woman. Natalie? Naomi? Natashie? It Didn't matter, no name would make her less of a bitch. Well still she was more of a man than Clint or Steve. Talking about Steve, what a big pussy was that! Always thinking everything will be 'alright' and there will be 'justice'. Who is he, Batman? At least Batman has an awesome uniform and mask… Without stars and gay colours. AND THOSE STRIPES? Horrifying. What the hell had Fury been thinking when he let Captain Gay Pants out of his ice cube looking like THAT. And what about the big A on his forehead? Does is stand for Ass? Well I congratulate the one who made the costume, right on the spot.
Banner seems to be alright, such a shame he is so green. He's greener than Steve if you know what I mean.
Last but not least: Stark. He is sooooooooo infuriating. Everything he says, it annoys me. Well at least he talks to me, normally. As normal as you can call the interactions between us. Because since Thor went back to Asgard it's been quiet for me... But let's not stray from the subject. Stark is an ass, a big ass even. (Bigger than Steve and Clint together) And no I have not been looking at his good-looking ass.
Loki coughed, clearing his mind from images.
Okay enough about the group of idiots. My only amusement is starting: Project Catwalk.
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
"JARVIS, I need coffee." Tony was NOT amused. Why he wasn't? First of all, the Avengers were infiltrating his personal bubble because, they all lived in HIS tower. But lets not forgot about their annoying TRAITS. Hell, their whole being was annoying. He would make sure that next time he sees Fury... Well lets say that it won't be pretty for the dark skinned boss.
But the worst part: the so-called God, spread out on HIS couch, watching PROJECT FUCKING CATWALK. Who the fuck watches that?
"Loki…" "Yes, Iron Maid?" "I told you to stop calling me that… And if you want to sit on MY couch, then SIT on it, don't take all the space". "But I just feel like taking all the space." Loki grinned, taking another hand of chips from the plastic bag laying next to him on Tony's couch. Of course Loki made sure to make an extra big mess out of grabbing the chips.
"JARVIS, bring me another bag of chips, this one seems to be empty…" The God said.
Tony thought he would explode at any minute now. "JARVIS, don't bring that irritating wannabe diva another bag!" "I'm sorry, sir, I'm already programmed to listen to master Laufeyson". Loki threw him a cocky grin and turned back to the TV.
And that was the last straw, Tony snapped.
"ARGHHHHHHHH I'LL STRANGLE YOU!"
You can imagine what it looked like for the poor Captain Virgin when he walked into the living room. Seeing Tony on top of Loki on the couch, both screaming on top of their lungs. He was certain it was Loki who was screaming: "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU STUPID MAMMAAAAL!" But Stark especially sounded really intelligent with sounds like "RWAWAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" It was probably because of Loki's hand in his face, which he soon captured and held above the raven's head.
Steve stood speechless for a minute, then turned pale, started screaming and ran away.
After the man of the house (Natasha) pulled the two apart, scolding them with a dagger to the throat, they both understood that they should stay as calm as possible (or ignore each other, what in fact was impossible) and either share the couch or buy a new BIGGER one.
They ended up sharing it, because they kept bitching about which colour the new couch should become.
Tony was propped up on the left side while Loki was spread over the right side digging his feet into Tony's thighs. The black haired devil looked all innocent, but the Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist knew better than that. Still he couldn't do anything about it because Miss I'm-Watching-You-With-A-Dagger-In-My-Sleeve was, in fact, watching them. Well more like glaring at them.
x
Natasha Romanov was quite amused, even if she didn't show it.
When Steve came running to her, crying and all snotty, she didn't expect 'that'. It was obvious the two men didn't realise in what position they were on that couch. Loki was laying spread out on the couch with Stark between his legs. Stark was strangling him with one hand and the other held Loki's hand to prevent him from doing anything. The best part was that, probably when Stark jumped Loki, Loki's shirt had been riled up. No wonder Steve had misinterpret the situation. Maybe this was going to be even more interesting than she had thought when she first heard they were all going to live in this tower.
That time she had put up an indifferent facade, but when everyone had left and she made sure NOBODY was watching her, she had squealed. SHE HAD SQUEALED, Natasha Romanov was happy, really, really happy. She even jumped! Watching all these boys and their stupid behaviour was going to be so much fun!
x
Clint Barton was not easily impressed. But hell, did Miss Romanov impress him. She was so, so, so beautiful and hot. He almost drooled.
But he couldn't let anybody know. No, he wouldn't let them have the pleasure to know his weakness. This was his secret and he would cling to it just like to his teddy bear... Oh, and did he already mention that he hated Loki? He hated Loki. A lot.
x
Bruce Banner kind of liked it in the tower. It was quite the building. He and Stark came down to the lab a lot. The ultra and super amazing lab, which gave him even more possibilities and resources to work on his projects. And having Stark the genius help him out wasn't that bad either.
It was fun to argue with Stark about technology and of course hear him talk about Loki. Because he talked about Loki, a lot. They all knew they were supposed to hate the God. But really Bruce didn't think the raven was so bad. It was obvious Clint hated the God as much as he loved Natasha but the others were quite okay with him. Steve was as always (well mostly) the goody-two-shoes about it and Natasha was as always just a bitch about it. But Stark, Stark talked way too much about how Loki made his life harder and how much he hated him etc. etc. Of course Bruce knew better than that.
Bruce mused to himself and then started whistling a tune while he worked on his new project.
A.N.
Kris: HELLOOOOOOOOOOO
As you noticed this was total random crack we wrote because we felt like it :D
This will be updated very soon… (NOPE BAHAH- *shot*)
Lennah: She didn't even write my whole name D: bitch. But anyway HOPE YOU LIKE IT :D
Kris: BAHAHAHA REVIEW YOU MORTALS OR MY PERRY ARMY WILL COME TO CUDDLE YOU TO DEATH
Lennah: …Just ignore her, she is weird UNLIKE ME :D So I'll ask you nicely: Review please?
Kris: I'm out of character ._. I'm a sir. Anyway cya next time guys!
Cheers!,
A&K